I. The Big Bang Theory Exposed
II. The Origin of the Species and Its Feces
III. The Cult of Sri Poopy-Poopy and how it relates to other World Religions
IV. Your Body is a Temple, So Wash Your Ass !
I. The Big Bang Theory Exposed
Modern day followers of Sri Poopy-Poopy are very interested in Science, and we try to keep up with the latest technologies in order to help us spread our message of hope, truth, and peace.
Here's a mystical poem about the beginning of the world, inspired by a healthy mix of Science, comedy, and Sri Prabhu-Poopy :
-The Big Bang Theory-
A skanky butt ripple let loose in the dark
it ripped so hard that it let out a spark
and no one knew of it 'cept dear in one's heart
The one who was guilty, a shrewd, sassy tart
It blared out loud on that late summer's day
but, "the smeller's the feller", some people would say
"Then everyone's guilty", cried a preacher with sass
'til he died from a wiff of that stank, raunchy ass
Hunks of butt chunks then littered the road
the blast was so forceful, like one skanky load
that surely must be let go or dropped
or let loose as a goose in the horizontal bop
Things start a'happenin' when bodies start a'slappenin'
ain't no wrong in a li'l bump and grind
but, the blast from the past was surely from an ass
according to the data we find
II. The Origin of the Species and Its Feces
The Lord Brahman (God) created the world millions of years ago. A giant blast occurred which got the ball rolling and shit started to happen. Every time God wanted to create something, God let out a giant blast and it occurred. It started with lower organisms which were designed to evolve into more dynamic organisms over time, and God helped shape these designs. The day came when God made humans, and God let out a huge blast and the shit really hit the fan and something mystical happened, and up sprang Sri Poopy-Poopy! He danced and sang for the Lord, and God was very pleased. This first man was none other than Sri Poopy-Poopy, and all other humans evolved from this design. God gave early man Sri Poopy-Poopy to help show them the way to enlightenment and to help them learn how to more directly communicate with God. Sri Poopy-Poopy also taught them how to farm and not to shit where they ate and about proper sanitation, and God was pleased. All went well for awhile, but then humans started fighting each other, and some turned violent and greedy and stopped listening to the advice of Sri Poopy-Poopy. All of the strife on earth upset both God and Sri Poopy-Poopy very much, so one day Sri Poopy-Poopy asked God to take him to heaven so that he could try and help the world more as a spiritual presence that could live on in the minds of all humans who are willing to search their souls and seek and find the true message of the universe. That is why the minds of humans are naturally wired with a connection towards the spiritual and the mystical. Every time we use the bathroom, we are reminded of Sri Poopy-Poopy and his message. Not only that, but God also sends us human messengers to spread the word and help others find out about these truths. May the love and joy of Sri Poopy-Poopy be with you always, and may you help others seek and find the truth as well.
III. The Cult of Sri Poopy-Poopy and how it relates to other World Religions:
Taoism: Shit Happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Ding
Hinduisim: This Shit Happened Before.
Islam: If Shit Happens, Take A Hostage.
Zen: What Is The Sound Of Shit Happening?
Buddhism: When Shit Happens, Is It Really Shit?
Confucianism: Confucius Say, "Shit Happens."
7th Day Adventist: Shit Happens On Saturdays.
Protestantism: Shit Won't Happen If I Work Harder.
Catholicism: If Shit Happens, I Deserve It.
Jehovah's Witness: Knock, Knock, "Shit Happens."
Unitarianism: What Is This Shit?
Mormon: Shit Happens Again & Again & Again.
Judaism: Why Does This Shit Always Happen To Me?
Rastafarianism: Let's Smoke This Shit.
Cult of Sri Poopy-Poopy: Laugh and Enjoy This Funky Shit!
IV. Your Body is a Temple, So Wash Your Ass !
Don't just wash your whole ass, wash your asshole!
The Cult of Sri Poopy-Poopy believes that oral hygiene is as important as anal hygiene. You can have oral cavities just as you have an anal cavity, so try to keep it all clean. Wash your mouth, then wash your ass.
An enema can be a very good thing.
Wash your ass.
Also, a colonic can really help clean you up too.
You can be clean inside and out.
Wash your Hole and cleanse your Soul !
Wash Your Ass.
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