| Introduction |
| [The camera fades into the inside of the LJVM Coliseum Annex in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Nearly four thousand fans are packed into the Annex to rock the house as "We Die Young" by Alice in Chains blares over the speakers, shaking the small stadium. The fans come to their feet as a small blue and green pyro display shoots off at the top of the steel ramp. "Riptide" flashes across the Atlantic-Tron while Harvey Schultz and J.J. Jackson make their way out from the back. Harvey simply waves to the fans while J.J. works his pimp strut all the way down to the commentating table.] Harvey Schultz:: Hello, folks! We're coming to you live from the Lawrence Joel Veterans Memorial Coliseum, and this place can't wait for the action to get started! Can you smell the excitement in the air, Jules? J.J. Jackson:: I sure as hell smell somethin'. Damn, Harvery, you need to use the ressroom, my brotha?! Harvey Schultz: Oh, be quiet. Tonight, we've got a grand card for you. NyGhtMaRe and Mandrake will defend their tag straps against the Bastardos, HaZe is taking on Pest, and in the main event, we'll see a Fatal-Fourway decide the number one contendor to the Heavyweight Championship. J.J. Jackson:: Yo, hold up, dawg! What's the dillio with this Misery Man? Harvey Schultz:: You must mean the Mystery Man, you ignorant oaf. I've heard from some very reliable sources that the Mystery Man is none other than "The Phenom" Billy Sadistic. The word backstage is that he's finally signed a contract with the AWA, and will be making his debut here tonight. We'll have to wait and find out. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Riptide, it's Valentine's Day, and it's OUT OF CONTROL. Don't go away! |
| "Mr. Power Trip" |
| ["Painkiller Introduction" by Professional Murder Music starts up as the owner of the AWA, Richard Cormier. Right behind him is his "Chosen Champion", HaZe, with his Heavyweight Championship draped over his left shoulder. He's got his Book of the New Lights clutched in his right hand as the two Brotherhood members make their way into the ring.] Harvey Schultz:: I wonder what's on Cormier's mind tonight. He was walking down to the ring with a purpose. J.J. Jackson:: I's hungry. You want sumthin' ta eat, Harvery? I think we gots some nice fried shicken in the back. Harvey Schultz: Oh...uh, no, I'll pass. J.J. Jackson:: Suit yerself, playa. [Jackson removes his headset and heads to the back as Cormier and HaZe stand tall in the ring, receiving more than their share of boos tonight. HaZe glares out into the fans with a look of disgust on his kisser as Cormier walks around the ring with his chest puffed out in an almost boastful manner. He then grabs a microphone from his inside coat pocket and raises it to his mouth.] Richard Cormier:: I'm out here... [Cormier is drowned out by a loud wave of boos, causing him to stop and glare at the crowd, the vein in the middle of his forehead buldging as his face turns bright red.] Richard Cormier:: Shut your damn mouths! [Again, the crowd is very vocal with their opinions of Cormier. Cormier continues speaking, this time ignoring the fans.] Richard Cormier:: I'm out here tonight, because I've got three...no, no...four people I've got to address. Number one is James Nightbane. [Upon hearing Nightbane's name, several of the fans begin cheering.] Richard Cormier:: Yeah, yeah. Cheer all you want. It's just like you North Carolinians to cheer a traitor. Nightbane! I know you're back there, and I hope you're listening. You were a bad apple from the get-go, and I shoulda seen it, but I didn't. Oh, but don't worry, Nightbane, you son of a bitch! You'll get yours. I gaurantee it! As a matter of fact, the only way you'll be leaving this arena tonight...is in an ambulance! Isn't that right HaZe? [HaZe simply nods his head with a devilish smirk on his face while the fans continue to show their displeasure for the Brotherhood.] Richard Cormier:: NyGhtMaRe! You're the next on my list! I promise you, if you even so much as lay a finger on myself, HaZe, or any other member of the Brotherhood without just cause, I'll fire your ass on the spot! You need to learn some manners, boy. You need to learn how to play well with others. A part of me would LOVE to publicly humiliate you and send you on your merry way, but another part of me knows that the AWA needs you. The AWA needs NyGhtMaRe to keep the asses in the seats. I need you to keep putting money in my pocket! But NyGhtMaRe, before you come out here with your barbed wire Singapore cane, think about what you're doing, because if you touch either myself, HaZe, Pyro-Maniac, Krauser, or Machine, your ass is history! [HaZe gives his nod of approval to Cormier, as if supervising him.] Richard Cormier:: Oh, and NyGhtMaRe, good luck with your title defense tonight...you'll need it. Speaking of title defenses, this brings me to the challengers, those two used car salesmen, the Bastardos. Loki and Plaz, I didn't have a problem with you, until now. You think that I, Richard Cormier, am conspiring against you to keep you from the Tag Team Championships? Don't flatter yourselves, boys. Don't try to pawn your inability to keep those belts off on me. It's not my fault you guys suck! It's not my fault you don't possess the skills to hold on to those belts. It's not my fault... [Cormier is interrupted by Crystal Method's "Name of the Game" as HaZe hops out of the ring. He stands between the entranceway and the ring, prepared to fight off any and all comers. Suddenly, the lights go out, and the fans begin to scream. The music finally fades out, and the lights resume, but only to find Cormier in the middle of the ring crawling in a pool of baby oil! HaZe turns around and finds his boss covered in the slimy goo and slides back into the ring to help him out as the fans begin to laugh!] Harvey Schultz:: Cormier has just received a Baby Oil Bath! I can't believe it! Those Bastardos are gonna have hell to pay tonight! [HaZe finally helps Cormier back to his feet as the fans continue to mock him. Richard Cormier has an infuriated look on his face as he attempts to get a hold of the now slimy microphone.] Richard Cormier:: Super Bastardo Bros.! You've got a snowball's chance in hell of winning those Tag Team Championships tonight! I gaurantee it! [The microphone slips out of Cormier's hand as he and HaZe make their way back up the ramp. Cormier trips and falls a few times as a few eager fans hurl insults at the owner of the AWA. Angered, Cormier shouts back at them before disappearing behind the curtain. J.J. Jackson makes his way out from the back, passing Cormier and HaZe on the way out. He looks back at them, then covers his mouth with his free hand in an attempt not to laugh. He pulls a piece of chicken out of it's paper bucket and begins to munch on it.] Harvey Schultz:: Well, that certainly was interesting, to say the least. |
| Standard Match: P.O.D. vs. Jack Korse |
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[Disturbed's "Meaning of Life" hits the arena, and the fans begin to boo as "The Freak" makes his way out onto the stage. He flexes his enormous biceps for a few seconds before strutting down to the ring. He climbs up onto the ring apron, and just as he's stepping through the ropes, the lights go out.] Harvey Schultz:: Not again... [When the lights come back up, Prince of Death is in the ring, and he's got his hand around Korse's throat. Referee Perry Daton starts the match as P.O.D. plants "The Freak" with a chokeslam. Korse attempts to get back to his feet, but the Prince helps him up with a handful of hair. He sets Korse up, then drills him with the Ride to Hell. Hooking the leg, Daton counts the pin. 1...2...3!] J.J. Jackson:: Whoa! Harvey Schultz:: P.O.D. just chalked up his first win, and in decisive fashion, I might add! That could very well be some sort of record! [P.O.D. simply looks at his fallen opponent before exiting the ring and heading to the back.] Harvey Schultz:: Man, this Monday is gonna be hell for either P.O.D., or his brother, Pyro-Maniac, as they will get it on in a First Blaze match! The first man to set his opponent ablaze is the winner! J.J. Jackson:: I used to have matches like that when I was just a chiddler, only I was fightin' cats, ya see. Ya know, I even considad makin' a band called Burnin' Da Cats... Harvey Schultz:: You're a sick man, Jules, you really are... |
| Standard Match: Machine vs. Rusty |
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["The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson blasts over the PA system as the giant German walks out from the back, accompanied by his manager, Viktor Krauser. The big man lumbers down the ramp, then pulls himself up onto the ring apron and steps over the top rope. Viktor stalks around on the outside of the ring as the crowd boos the pair of men mightily.] Harvey Schultz:: That man is one awesome sight! J.J. Jackson:: Pssst...Yo, that ain't no man, thass a Machine, sucka! ["Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor starts up as Rusty Ziset walks out from the back. He seems all warmed up and ready for his match as he hops around on his toes at the top of the ramp. Before he even reaches the ramp, the ex-high school football coach is attacked from behind.] Harvey Schultz:: That's a Damn Fine Man, Josh McCool, and he's beating the hell out of his former wrestling and football coach with a steel chair! [McCool slams the chair down onto the back of Ziset several times before lifting him up and throwing him down the ramp. McCool stalks after his prey and begins laying some heavy boots into him, then drops an elbow across the back of his neck. He lifts Rusty to his feet and plants him on the hard concrete with a Spinebuster, followed by some more vicious stomping!] J.J. Jackson:: Ow. Harvey Schultz:: This is ridiculous! We need to get some help out here! Josh McCool is a madman! [A Damn Fine Man continues his relentless assault on Rusty, finishing him off with an Irish whip into the steel ring steps, knocking them away from the ring. McCool then rolls the battered and beaten Rusty into the ring and heads back up the ramp with a huge grin on his face.] Harvey Schultz:: That man is certifiable. He belongs in a mental hospital. He just threw a beating on his former coach, and he enjoyed ever minute of it! J.J. Jackson:: Hey, hey, hey! There ain't nuthin' wrong wit' a man that enjoys his work! [Mitch Horton reluctantly calls for the bell as Machine reaches down and grabs Rusty by the throat, lifts him into the air from the ground, and slams him to the mat with a ground-shaking chokeslam. Machine makes the easy cover as Horton makes the count. 1...2...3!] Harvey Schultz:: Machine may have just broken P.O.D.'s record from the previous match! Thanks to a little help from that son of a bitch, Josh McCool, of course. [Machine exits the ring as Krauser pats the big man on the back all the way up the ramp. Rusty is left in a puddle of his own sweat in the center of the ring.] |
| "Loki...get the camera!" |
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[The camera cuts backstage, where Loki and Plaz are shown laughing in their dressing room. Upon seeing the cameraman, Plaz grabs him and pulls him into the locker room, then slams the door shut.] Plaz Bastardo:: Did you see what me and Loki did to ol' Dick Cormier? Wasn't it great?! [The camera pans over to find Loki laughing hysterically. Plaz looks at his brother, then smacks him in the back of the head. Loki quickly stands at attention, but can't hide the beaming smile that's found it's way onto his face. After a few more seconds, Loki begins laughing again.] Plaz Bastardo:: What's so funny, Loki? Loki Bastardo:: Y...you just said th...the D-word...Ha ha ha! Plaz Bastardo:: The D-word? You mean "dick"? [Again, Loki begins laughing uncontrollably. Plaz rolls his eyes.] Plaz Bastardo:: Loki, Dick is short for Richard... Loki Bastardo:: ...short?! Ha ha ha ha ha! Plaz Bastardo:: You know what? Nevermind. Cormier, yeah, we had some fun with you. About fifteen bottles of baby oil worth of fun, to be exact, but it's not over yet. Right, Loki? [The camera pans over once again, but Loki is nowhere to be found. Plaz sticks his head around the corner, and his eyes grow very wide. He pulls his head back and looks at the camera.] Plaz Bastardo:: You don't wanna look over there, trust me. Anyways, where was I? Oh yes, it's not over yet, Cormier. We've still got some...fun...in store for you. Loki...get the camera! |
| "How do you like your coffee?" |
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[The camera switches to another shot of the backstage area somewhere in the LJVM Coliseum Annex, this time in front of a dark blue door. The door slowly creaks open to reveal HaZe and Cormier, who is still covered in baby oil.] HaZe:: Okay, and what kinda coffee did you want? Richard Cormier:: Black, just like always. Oh, and round up Pyro and Machine while you're out there and pay a little..."visit" to the Bastardos for me, will ya? HaZe:: No problem, boss... Richard Cormier:: I'm gonna grab a quick shower and get changed, I can't stand the smell of this stuff. [The dark blue door slowly closes as HaZe makes his way down the hall, a determined look on his face. It's not long before he runs into Machine and Pyro-Maniac.] HaZe:: C'mon boys, we got some business to take care of... [The camera shots returns to the ringside area.] Harvey Schultz:: This spells trouble for the Bastardos... |
| "Smile!" |
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[The shot returns to the backstage area, where Loki and Plaz are sneaking around. They're moving from box to box, being very careful so they aren't seen. Loki is now covered in KY Jelly, and he's holding a camera in his right hand. The two brothers peek out from behind the box, then quickly duck down as HaZe, Machine, and Pyro-Maniac turn the corner and walk right past them. Pyro-Maniac has a large cup of coffee in his hand as they reach the Bastardos' dressing room. Pyro sets down the cup of coffee as the three men storm into the room. Thinking quick, Plaz runs over, grabs the cup of coffee, and the two take off down the hall.] HaZe:: Where are they?! Pyro-Maniac:: They're not here! HaZe:: Fine then, just trash the place! Pyro-Maniac:: I don't think it's gonna get any worse. HaZe:: Yeah, you're right... [The camera follows Loki and Plaz as they round a corner and continue running. They arrive in front of a dark blue door, then stop to catch their breath. After a few seconds, Plaz raises his hand and slowly counts to three on his fingers. Upon reaching three, Loki throws open the door!] Richard Cormier:: What the...?! [The camera can't see into Cormier's room, but there's no doubt that he's in the shower as steam rushes out of the open door. Plaz quickly fires the cup of hot coffee on Cormier's naked body, then Loki jumps into the doorway and snaps three photographs. Plaz then slams the door and the brothers take off down the hall and round the corner as Machine, Pyro, and HaZe round the opposite corner.] Harvey Schultz:: They just missed 'em, and the Bastardos have nude pictures of Richard Cormier! [HaZe knocks on the door, then slowly begins to open it.] HaZe:: Sorry, boss, but somebody stole your cup of cof...what the hell?! What happened boss?! Richard Cormier:: Those damn Bastardos threw hot coffee on me, then took a few snapshots! I want that camera, along with their heads! Now! [HaZe, Pyro-Maniac, and Machine rapidly file out of the room as an angry Cormier slams the door shut!] |
| Tag Team Match: NyGhtMaRe & Mandrake vs. Super Bastardo Bros. | Tag Team Championships |
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["Name of the Game" by Crystal Method starts up, and out come the Bastardos to a surprisingly loud ovation from the crowd. Plaz has a beaming smile on his face, and so does Loki, along with several large globs of KY Jelly. Loki does his "sexy slide" into the ring while Plaz uses the ringsteps.] Harvey Schultz:: After what those Bastardos just did, there's no way in hell they're gonna leave this arena in one piece, let alone with the tag titles... ["Dream Song" by Ministry hits, and the fans go nuts! The Kill Devil Hills Daredevil walks out with the Atlantic Championship and one of the Tag Team Championship belts around his waist, one on top of the other. He stands at the top of the ramp with his head lowered as the crowd simmers. He then makes his way down the ramp as his music cuts and "Down with Sickness" by Disturbed starts up.] Harvey Schultz:: You know, J.J., now that I think about, the Brotherhood doesn't too much care for any of these guys... [The crowd erupts again as Kris Kartier emerges from behind the curtain, dragging his Tag Team Championship belt behind him as if it were a blanket. He throws his belt into the ring, then rolls under the bottom rope. He and Mandrake exchange a few words before deciding that Mandrake will start the match. Loki and Plaz play a game of paper-rock-scissors, but Plaz loses, and Loki jumps up and down excitedly. Loki and Mandrake get set to start things as Senior Referee Perry Daton calls for the bell.] Harvey Schultz:: This should be a great match, barring any outside interference, but I just don't see that happening. You know, you really haven't been sayin' much Julius. J.J. Jackson:: Shu' up! I...eatin'! [The daredevil goes right after Loki with a kick to the stomach, followed by a kneelift, knocking Loki to the mat. Mandrake goes for the quick cover, but the lubricated Loki easily sides out before the count can even be administered. Mandrake locks on a headlock, but Loki easily slides out of the moves and rolls Mandrake up from behind. 1.kickout! Loki stops Mandrake with a thumb to the eye, then tags in his brother. Loki Mandrake arm, allowing Plaz to get in a wide open boot to the ribs. Plaz sends Mandrake to the mat with a big club to the back, then locks in a reverse armbar in an attempt to wear down his opponent.] Harvey Schultz:: Whoa, watch Plaz wrench back on that armbar, that's a painful hold. [Mandrake makes it to his knees, then front handsprings out of the hold and reverses the arm wrench on Plaz and drags him over to his own corner where he tags in NyGhtMaRe. Kartier jumps into the ring, then hops up onto the second turnbuckle and comes off with a double axe-handle onto Plaz exposed arm. NyGhtMaRe locks on an armbar, but Plaz fights back with a pair of right hands, breaking the hold. Plaz bounces off the ropes and goes for a clothesline, but Kartier ducks the swing, locks his arm around Plaz's swings around behind him, and hooks in the Tazzmission!] Harvey Schultz:: There it is! The Karta-Hajime! He's choking the life right out of Plaz! [Loki is quickly breaks up the hold with a dropkick to the back of Kartier's head. Mandrake hops up onto the top turnbuckle and nails Loki with a missile dropkick, knocking him through the ropes and out of the ring. The daredevil and the Epitome of Hardcore use this opportunity to execute a double-facebuster on Plaz. Mandrake exits the ring as NyGhtMaRe goes for the cover. 1...2.kickout!] Harvey Schultz:: I'm impressed. Mandrake and NyGhtMaRe are working very well as a team here tonight. Wait a minute, here comes the Brotherhood. [NyGhtMaRe locks in a reverse chinlock and clubs Plaz across the bridge of the nose as Machine, HaZe, and Pyro-Maniac stalk down to the ring. Plaz works his way back to his feet and takes Kris Kartier down to the mat with a side suplex before rolling over to his corner and tagging in Loki.] J.J. Jackson:: I don't like the looks o' this, yo! [Loki climbs into the ring and rushes Kartier with a head of steam. NyGhtMaRe drops to his stomach as Loki leaps over the top of him and bounds off the far ropes. As he does so, Machine grabs the top ring rope and pulls it down, causing Loki to tumble outside of the ring backwards. Immediatly, the Brotherhood begins to mug him as NyGhtMaRe and Mandrake watch on.] Harvey Schultz:: Man, you can tell just by lookin' at Mandrake and Kartier that they want a piece of the Brotherhood, but they don't wanna jeopardize their chances of holding onto those belts. [Thinking quickly, Plaz grabs Loki's bottle of baby oil and a steel chair, then sprints around the ring. Machine turns around just in time to receive a bottle of baby oil right in the eyes. Machine attempts to removes the goo from his face as Plaz lays out Pyro-Maniac with a sickening chairshot. HaZe is quick to take down Plaz with a clothesline. HaZe grabs the chair and nails Plaz in the head with it, then Loki!] Harvey Schultz:: HaZe has just taken out the Bastardos with a pair of disgusting chairshots! Hey, that's Nightbane coming out of the crowd! [Daton leaves the ring to try and get rid of the Brotherhood as Nightbane leaps over the guardrail, his black trenchcoat trailing behind him almost like a cape, and slides into the ring. NyGhtMaRe turns around just in time to be implanted into the mat with a DDT!] Harvey Schultz:: Darkness Falls! Darkness Falls! Kartier is out of it! [Nightbane exits the ring as Mandrake enters the ring to aid his partner. Daton tries to push HaZe, who's choking Loki with the edge of the chair, away from ringside, unaware of Pest, who just ran down to the ring. Pest climbs up onto the top rope and leaps off, catching an unsuspecting with Raid!] Harvey Schultz:: Pest just caught the Kill Devil Hills Daredevil with that modified frog splash of his, and now both men are out in the ring. [Security swarms the ringside area, trying to pull HaZe away from Loki as a weary Plaz climbs up onto the ring apron, then the top rope. Mandrake and Kartier are beginning to stir in the ring as Perry Daton rolls back in under the bottom rope. Plaz leaps off the top rope and nails NyGhtMaRe with a Guillotine legdrop from the top rope!] Harvey Schultz:: The Con Man just hit the Con Air on Kartier! Plaz makes the cover! [Daton makes the count. 1...Mandrake slowly rolls over and sees the count taking place as HaZe realizes what's going on and begins to fight through the security. 2...the daredevil lunges at Plaz as HaZe breaks through the security and slides into the ring with chair in hand. 3! Mandrake nails Plaz in the back of the head, knocking him off of NyGhtMaRe as HaZe swings, misses his target, and drills Mandrake in the side of the head!] Harvey Schultz:: The Bastardos win! The Bastardos win! We have NEW Tag Team Champions! J.J. Jackson:: Loco and Spaz win? [Plaz rolls out of the ring and finds his brother as HaZe throws the chair down in frustration. Plaz grabs the Tag Team Championship belts, then helps Loki up to his feet at the new champions backpeddle up the ramp with the arms raised in defiance, causing HaZe to angrily kick the bottom rope.] Harvey Schultz:: Look at this mass of humanity out here! J.J. Jackson:: Yo, this look like that seven-car pileup I seen the otha day out on the Innastate. [HaZe climbs out of the ring and regroups his men before heading to the back, an irritated look on his face with Mandrake and Kartier still lying motionless in the ring.] |
| "Marshmallows, anyone?" |
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[The camera cuts to the backstage area again as Pyro-Maniac, HaZe, and Machine are shown heading back to Cormier's dressing room. Pyro stops for a moment to feel the top of his head. When he brings his hand back in front of his face, it's covered with crimson.] Harvey Schultz:: Whoa, it looks like that chairshot must have opened him up pretty good. He's bleeding bad. [HaZe and Machine continue walking as Pyro takes a second to rest. As he does so, Prince of Death attacks him from behind. He slams his head into the concrete wall, leaving a small, read imprint on the wall. Pyro falls to the ground P.O.D. pulls out a blow torch and tries to ignite it. He continues to try to light the torch before HaZe and Machine realize that Pyro is missing and turn around. Seeing P.O.D. hovering over their fallen compadre, HaZe and Machine run to help him. After a few more unsuccessful tries, P.O.D. impatiently throws the torch at the wall, then takes off in the opposite direction as HaZe and Machine help Pyro back up.] Harvey Schultz:: Jeez, this night just keeps gettin' better and better, don't it? |
| Tag Team Match: Army of Two vs. The Folk |
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["Damage, Inc." by Metallica starts up, and out walk the circus freaks, Jingles and Jigsaw. The fans begin to cheer as Jingles hops on Jigsaw's back for a free ride down the ramp. The two men enter the ring and await their opponents.] Harvey Schultz:: Well, let's get ready to see the team that will face the new Tag Team Champions, the Super Bastardo Bros., at Outshined. J.J. Jackson:: Ain't they got some suhprize or sumthin'? Harvey Schultz:: As a matter of fact, they've been hyping up this surprise all week long, and I'm kinda eager to see what it is. ["Dig" by Mudvayne starts up and the crowd begins to boo. The lights begin pulsing with the heavy beat of the music. Out walks Suggs, immediately followed by Verboncour on his left. The two separate, moving to either side of the stage as they look back at the entrance.] Harvey Schultz:: Could this be their big surprise? J.J. Jackson:: Hey! That's...That's...! [The Don steps out from the back, waving an American flag high in the air. Despite the fact that he's waving the red, white, and blue, the fans still show their disapproval for him.] Harvey Schultz:: I can't believe it. That man is just as nonsensical as the two men he's managing. This is gonna be a great combination. [The three men enter the ring as Jerry is handed a microphone.] Jerry Verboncour:: Jerry wants to know how everyone it doing tonight... [The fans respond with a round of boos.] Jerry Verboncour:: Okay, okay, no need to be greedy. You know something, Bill, I don't think these people like us. We're surrounded by a bunch of rice-eatin' pillow biters that don't like us. This reminds Jerry of 'Nam. [Billy and Donald agreeingly nod their heads.] Jerry Verboncour:: Jerry remembers it as if it were yesterday. The whole platoon was surrounded, and Jerry had to make a decision. He could either pull the pin from his grenade and charge them sons a bitches, possibly doing severe damage to his head, neck, chest, breasts, and genitals, or he could... [Before Jerry can finish his story, he's attacked from behind by Jigsaw, much to the fans' approval.] Harvey Schultz:: There we go! Start the damn match already! [Mitch Horton calls for the bell as Suggs takes out Jingles with a clothesline. The Don climbs out of the ring and begins nervously sipping from his metal canteen, which has replaced his water mug. Jigsaw throws Jerry into the corner and begins choking him with his boot, but Suggs is there to make the save, clotheslining the big man over the top rope.] J.J. Jackson:: The Backwoods Biakabatuka with a well-essecuted clothespin. Harvey Schultz:: That's a clothesline, you half-wit, and for the last time, it's Barracuda, not Biakabatuka! J.J. Jackson:: Yeah, well, when I was young, we didn't have no washa an' drya. My momma made me use the dish washa, but my clothes always be smellin' fresh, the kids would tell me. Jus' like lemons, yo. Harvey Schultz:: Whatever...just keep eating your chicken. [Jerry and Jingles officially start the match as Suggs retreats to his corner. The Pissed-Off Texan goes to work on Jingles with a rake o' the back, followed by a rake o' the eyes. He then throws Jingles into a neutral corner and begins laying into him with a series of chops that echo throughout the LJVM Coliseum Annex.] Harvey Schultz:: Look at Jingles' chest. It's bright red. Nobody throws a reverse knife-edge like Verboncour. [Verboncour vertical suplexes Jingles, then tags in fellow veteran Billy Suggs. Suggs gets a running start, then drops an elbow right into the heart of Jingles. Suggs makes the cover. 1...2...kickout! Suggs questions the referee's count, then pulls Jingles to his feet and plants him in the middle of the ring with a piledriver. Suggs quickly tags Jerry back in and they execute a beautiful two-man neckbreaker on Jingles. Verboncour goes for the cover. 1...2...Jigsaw barely makes it in to break up the count.] Harvey Schultz:: An Army of Two almost took the match right there. [Verboncour pulls Jingles to his feet and lifts him in the air for an Atomic drop, but Jingles backflips over his shoulder, landing behind him. Jingles then shoves Jerry into the corner where he hits the turnbuckle chestfirst and staggers out of the corner backwards. Jingles hits a nice dropkick, sending Verboncour to the mat. Jingles begins crawling to his corner while Jigsaw reaches out for the tag. The fans begins to cheer as Jingles gets closer and closer. Verboncour stumbles over to his corner and tags in Suggs, who quicky hops into the ring in an attempt to stop Jingles, but it's too late!] Harvey Schultz:: Jingles makes the tag, and Jigsaw is ready to rumble! [Jigsaw steps over the top rope and levels Suggs with a clothesline! Jerry charges him, but receives a clothesline as well. Jigsaw pulls both men to their feet and smashes their heads together. Verboncour collapses in a heap in the center of the ring as Suggs rolls to the outside. The Don is quickly around to aid his fallen wrestler as Jigsaw goes after the Pissed-Off Texan.] Harvey Schultz:: Referee Mitch Horton is trying to explain that Verboncour is not the legal man. What's the Don doing? He just handed Suggs that metal canteen. [Suggs slides back into the ring, trying to conceal the canister as the Don heads around the ring and begins talking. Horton and Jingles both look at him, confused.] The Don:: I was once a judge, you see. Back in the court, I'd yell "Substained" and "Over Ruled" and nobody would mess with me. I ran a Tolitarian system, and I ruled with an iron glove. Then, I ran into Jar Nicholas the Second, and he... [The Don continues to distract Jingles and the referee. Jigsaw turns around to face Suggs, but only to be hammered in the face with the metal canteen! Suggs quickly discards the canteen to the outside of the ring, then covers Jigsaw. Verboncour makes it back to his feet as Suggs slaps his hand on the canvas to get the referee's attention. Horton spins around, sees the cover, and makes the count as Jingles tries to break up the pinfall attempt. Verboncour cuts him off with a running clothesline. 1...2...3!] Harvey Schultz:: Once again, an Army of Two bends the rules to pick up the win. No, scratch that, they didn't bend the rules, they flat out broke them! [Suggs and Verboncour head up the ramp with their fists in the air as Donald follows right behind them waving the flag.] Billy Suggs:: Woo! |
| Standard Match: HaZe vs. Pest |
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Harvey Schultz:: In just a few short moments, we'll get to see HaZe in action...again. This time, he'll actually be in a match. ["With You" by Linkin Park starts up, and out walks Pest, along with Perfection. They receive a mixed reaction from the crowd; cheers for Perfection, cheers and boos for Pest. Pest heads down to the ring in his blue and green attire, complete with top hat.] Harvey Schultz:: I'm already feeling it, J.J.! Outshined is gonna be one helluva card! I can't wait to see that ladder match between Pest and Mandrake. That'll definitely make the highlight reel. ["Painkiller Introduction" by Professional Murder Music starts up, and out walks the AWA Heavyweight Champion, HaZe. The fans boos are deafening as the leader of the Brotherhood of the New Lights makes his way down the ramp with his title draped over his left shoulder.] Harvey Schultz:: As always, he got that book with him. [HaZe raises the Book of the New Lights into the air, causing the fans' boos to become more intense. A small section of the crowd begins cheering as HaZe flashes them a smile of acknowledgement. HaZe places his belt and his book in his corner, then enters the ring as referee Mitch Horton starts the match.] Harvey Schultz:: This should be a great contest. These two men are ring veterans and know each other very well. It'll be interesting to see how each man approaches this match. J.J. Jackson:: Yo, man, whateva. I jus' want some mo' shickin! [The two men lock up in the middle of the ring, and HaZe takes the innitiative by applying a headlock. HaZe then spins around and takes Pest to the mat with a drop toehold. HaZe grabs Pest's ankle, lifts his lower body into the air, and drives his knee down hard into the canvas. Pest clutches his knee, but HaZe goes to work on it with several kicks and stomps.] Harvey Schultz:: It looks like HaZe is targeting Pest's knee. Like him or not, this is smart wrestling by the Heavyweight Champion. [HaZe applies a side leglock and pulls back hard on Pest's ankle, trying to get a submission out of Pest, but to no avail. The Enlightened One finally releases the hold, grabs Pest's feet, and drags him to the center of the ring. HaZe releases one leg and drops and elbow across his right knee. HaZe stays in that position and begins wrenching back on his leg. Pest tries to fight the pain, then grabs HaZe by the head and clubs him across the jaw, forcing HaZe to release the hold. Pest hops over to the ropes and uses the top strand to balance himself as HaZe moves in for the kill.] Harvey Schultz:: Pest's only got one good wheel, and HaZe is simply dismantling him. This is good, clean wrestling by the champ, something I've seen very rarely, if at all. [HaZe kicks Pest in the right knee, but Mr. Showtime fires back with a big right hand. Again, the Heavyweight Champion goes to the knee, but this time Pest catches him with a big haymaker, spinning HaZe around. Seeing his opportunity, Pest rolls him up in a school boy, grabbing his pants for leverage. 1...2...kickout!] Harvey Schultz:: That was close! Pest almost pulled an upset over the Heavyweight Champion, even if he did have a handful of his pants. [HaZe puts Pest back down to the mat with an elbow to the back of the head. HaZe begins stomping Mr. Showtime mercilessly, then pulls him to his feet. Pest gets in a thumb to the eye, temporarily blinding the Enlightened One. Pest scoops up HaZe for a bodyslam, but his knee gives out and HaZe slides down his back, hooking him in an inverted headlock. HaZe then plants him with the Dark DaZe in the center of the ring and heads to the top rope.] Harvey Schultz:: If he hits this, it's over...and he does! The Enlightenment! HaZe just nailed Pest with the 450 Splash. [HaZe makes the cover and hooks the leg as Horton makes the count. 1...2...3! HaZe rolls off of his opponent and retrieves his book. He then rolls out of the ring and grabs a pen from the announcer's table and scribbles his name across the book. The Enlightened One throws the pen at Schultz and slides back into the ring. He places the book on Pest's chest, grabs his belt, and exits the ring while the crowd boos him.] Harvey Schultz:: Well, that was an impressive win to say the least, but I still don't much care for his attitude. |
| Heavyweight Championship #1 Contendor Match: Fatal-Fourway Match: James Nightbane vs. Corleone vs. Steve Zapf vs. Mystery Man |
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[The stadium of almost 4,000 fans waits patiently as Perry Daton makes his way down to the ring, ready to officiate the main event. Suddenly, the lights dim.] o/` What have I done? o/` o/` I feel so bad, I feel so numb, yeah!o/` Harvey Schultz:: Here comes Nightbane. [Rob Zombie's "Feel So Numb" starts up and out walks James Nightbane to a rather loud ovation from the fans. Nightbane stands at the top of the ramp with his wet black hair hanging down in his face as he spreads his legs and turns sideways. He holds his hand out in front of his face for a moment before a large wall of pyro shoots off behind him. He then clenches his hand into a fist and pulls it back in towards his body as he heads down the ramp. He slides into the ring and removes his black trenchcoat, then waits for his opponents as his music fades away.] Harvey Schultz:: There's no doubt in my mind that James Nightbane is one of the smartest wrestlers to grace a wrestling ring. If something seems impossible, he'll find a way. [Nightbane pulls a black book out of his trenchcoat and begins thumbing through it as "Not Enough" by 3 Doors Down starts up. The crowd begins to boo as Steve Zapf heads out from the back. Zapf thrusts his fists into the air while he walks down the ramp, causing the crowd to taunt him even more. Zapf rolls into the ring, stares at Nightbane for a moment, perhaps contemplating an attack, then walks over to his corner.] Harvey Schultz:: It looks like Zapf and Pest have put their feud on the back burner right now, because Zapf is looking to get a shot at HaZe and his belt at Outshined. J.J. Jackson:: Yo, I'm puttin' my money on Zapf tonight, dawg. That sucka just got this look in his eye, ya know? ["The Godfather" theme music starts up, and out walks the Italian, Corleone, to a nice ovation from the fans. He has a smug look on his face as he walks down the ramp and climbs into the ring. He walks over to his corner and faces the turnbuckle, not even acknowledging his opponents as the three wait for the Mystery Man to make his way out.] Harvey Schultz:: Could we see the debut of the Phenom himself, Billy Sadistic. Let's find out. [The crowd waits patiently as a figure dressed in a dark blue body suit heads out from the back, their face covered with a black mask. The person stands about 6'1" and looks to weigh anywhere from 230-240 lbs.] Harvey Schultz:: That looks like it could be him, but I'm not sure. I can't tell when he's got that hood on. [The man makes his way down the to ring slowly and methodically before walking around the ring, climbing up onto the ring apron, and stepping in the ring. He slowly walks over to his corner as even Corleone turns to look at him. Nightbane looks over at him and nods his head, and the Mystery Man nods back.] Harvey Schultz:: I don't now if you've heard this or not, J.J., but the rumor going around the backstage area is that Nightbane is bringing in Sadistic as part of his new stable. J.J. Jackson:: Yeah, yeah. I heard sumthin' like that too, sucka. [Perry Daton checks out each wrestler, then heads to the middle of the ring and calls for the bell. Zapf immediately charged the Mystery Man, but is leveled with a clothesline. Nightbane goes after Corleone, but the mobster meets him with a boot to the mid-section, followed by a snapmare takedown and a blatant chokehold.] Harvey Schultz:: Well, it didn't take much to get this match started. [The Mystery Man begins stomping away on Zapf as Corleone throws Nightbane out of the ring. The hooded one lifts Zapf up onto his shoulder and powerslams him in the middle of the ring, then hooks the leg for the cover. 1...kickout! Corleone grabs the Mystery Man and shoves him into the corner, then goes for a big clothesline, but the masked man ducks it and catches him with a mule kick to the stomach. Corleone stumbles out of the corner and the Mystery Man takes him down with a snap suplex, followed by a cover. 1...kickout!] Harvey Schultz:: Well, whoever this guy is, he's going for the win right off the bat. [Nightbane rolls back into the ring, and he and the hooded man begin stomping away on Corleone. Zapf is back up, and the pair take him down with a double-clothesline. Nightbane tells him to go to work on Corleone while he takes care of Zapf.] Harvey Schultz:: It appears that Nightbane and the Mystery Man are working as a team. I wonder if those backstage rumors are true... [Nightbane pulls Zapf to the center of the ring and slams him hard with a Full-Nelson Slam, then covers him. 1...2...kickout! The masked individual whips Corleone into the ropes, but Corleone rebounds with a clothesline. The Mystery Man catches his arm in mid-swing, drives him to the mat, and locks in a Crippler Crossface!] Harvey Schultz:: There it is! Phenomenal! One of the Phenom's patented finishers! It could be over if Corleone can't reach the ropes. [Luckily, they're close to the ropes, and the Italian reaches over and grabs the bottom strand. Daton forces the masked one to release the hold as Nightbane slams Zapf's head into the top turnbuckle. Nightbane props Steve Zapf up onto the top rope as the masked man heads to the adjacent corner. Nightbane slams Zapf to the middle of the ring with a Superplex, and the masked man is there to follow up the move with a Swandive headbutt to Zapf's shoulder!] Harvey Schultz:: Another patented move of the Sadistic One. Why doesn't he just take off that mask. It's pretty evident to anybody that follows wrestling that he's Billy Sadistic! [Corleone clothesline's the masked man as Nightbane covers Zapf. 1...2...Corleone with a boot to the head of Nightbane. Corleone drills Nightbane with a piledriver, then covers him. 1...2...kickout! Zapf rolls over to the corner as Corleone throws Nightbane out of the ring again, then goes to work on the Mystery Man. He begins to stomp away on him as HaZe and Richard Cormier appear on the stage.] J.J. Jackson:: Whaddabe?! What're they doin' out here, Harvery? Harvey Schultz:: To make sure that Nightbane doesn't make it to Outshined in a championship match against HaZe, I'm assuming. [HaZe and Cormier slowly walk down the ramp as Corleone ships the Mystery Man into the ropes and absolutely destroys him with the Corleone Spinebuster!] Harvey Schultz:: Oh! Concussion City! That'll scramble your brains. [Corleone begins strutting around the ring as Zapf makes it back to his feet. Corleone quickly sends him over the top rope with a running clothesline, leaving only him and the Mystery Man in the ring. Corleone sits the hooded man up and begins undoing his hood. The masked man is out cold as the mobster unlaces the mask and pulls off the hood, holding it in the air for everyone to see! The hooded man slowly stands, staggering a little.] Harvey Schultz:: He's got another hood on underneath! [Nightbane slides back into the ring and hammers Corleone with a big right hand, spinning him around. The masked man is there to catch him with a kick to the stomach, followed by a Snap DDT!] Harvey Schultz:: It's over! It's over! Sadistic just caught Corleone with the Sadistic DDT! [Nightbane and the hooded one lift Corleone to his feet, but as they do so, HaZe jumps up onto the ring apron, distracting Nightbane. As Nightbane approaches HaZe, the masked man throws Corleone out of the ring. Nightbane walks up to HaZe and nails him in the side of the head, knocking him off the ring apron and into the steel barricade! As Nightbane taunts HaZe and Cormier, the masked man walks up behind Nightbane and locks in the...] Harvey Schultz:: Karta-Hajime! Karta-Hajime! The Mystery Man just locked Nightbane in the Karta-Hajime! [Nightbane begins tapping as Daton calls for the bell! The masked man releases the hold, dropping Nightbane to the mat like a sack of potatoes, then begins undoing his mask. After a few seconds, he unlaces the mask and rips it off!] Harvey Schultz:: It's NyGhtMaRe! NyGhtMaRe has tricked everyone, and he's headed to Outshined to meet HaZe! J.J. Jackson:: NyGhtMaRe! I thought it was Billy Statistic? Harvey Schultz:: So did I... |
| They WILL see the light! |
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[A large burst of pyrotechnics go off on the stage as Machine makes his way down to the ring. NyGhtMaRe approaches the ring apron, ready to take on the big man, but HaZe slides into the ring behind Kartier and hammers him in the back with a spinning heel kick, knocking him to the mat. Corleone and Steve Zapf begin fighting on the outside of the ring as HaZe begins stomping a mudhole in Kartier.] Harvey Schultz:: HaZe is beating he living hell out of NyGhtMaRe, and now Machine is in the ring! What next?! [Cormier grabs a microphone from a stagehand, then climbs into the ring as HaZe plants NyGhtMaRe in the center of the ring with the Dark DaZe. HaZe heads up to the top rope as Machine grabs Nightbane by the throat and begins choking the life out of him in the corner.] Richard Cormier:: Teach him a lesson, Machine! I want him to pay for crossing the Brotherhood! I want him to PAY! As a matter of fact... [Cormier gets right in Nightbane's face as Machine continues to choke him. It highly unlikely that Nightbane is even conscious, but Cormier keeps talking to him anyway.] Richard Cormier:: ...at Outshined, Nightbane, you'll be facing this man...Machine! Oh, but there will be no way out of this match. No tricks up your sleeve. Oh no, you see, this'll be a Hardcore match! No countout, no disqualification! There will be no cheap way out, Nightbane! You'll be dismantled, disfigured, and destroyed! [HaZe comes off the top rope and nails Kartier with the Enlightenment. HaZe the covers him and counts his own fall. 1..2..3!] Richard Cormier:: Oh yeah, NyGhtMaRe, you might have weaseled your way into a title match at Outshined, but that will be the outcome. One, two, three. Your shoulders on the mat, just like that. HaZe, give him another one. [HaZe jumps up onto the top turnbuckle, measures NyGhtMaRe, then comes off with another 450 Splash, squashing Kartier! Again, he counts the pin. 1..2..3!] Richard Cormier:: Oh! I never get tired of watching that! NyGhtMaRe! Kartier! Whatever you wanna call yourself, it really doesn't matter! Come the SuperCard, you've got a snowball's chance in hell of walking out of there with any kind of gold! You're gonna lose that match if I have anything to say about it. I gaurantee it! Gentlemen, prepare to be...OUTSHINED! [Fade to black.] |
