Just weeks ago, Cher received the grim news that future cosmetic
surgeries
are an impossibility.
"Bottom line, there's just nothing left to nip or tuck," Dr. Robert
Slicem,
head surgeon of Cher's personal team of plastic surgeons, said. Slicem
went
on to say that "her skin has been stretched and stitched so many times
that
it's practically falling apart."
Rather than being daunted by this news, though, Cher intends to
persevere.
Having known long ago that this day would come, she has already funded
research towards the innovation of a full-brain transplant, which will
entail
removing her brain and brain stem and fusing it to the spinal cord in a
new
body.
"I don't really mind having to get a new body," Cher said. "I know
I've put
a lot of time and money into this one, but really, it's what's on the
inside
that counts. And by inside, I mean figuratively, like your mind, of
course,
since the innards won't be mine either."
With the research and development complete, all that remains to be seen
now
is the acquisition of a suitable body. A donor is expected to surface
by
early next year. Until then, Cher is sustaining herself on a diet of
blood
drawn from young virgins.
Copyright The Fake News 2002. All Rights Reserved.