Man, if our team loses one more game, I’m dumping that loser quarterback. I mean, what is he thinking throwing the ball on 3 and 1? I’m just a cheerleader, but I’ve seen enough football to know you gotta run it up the middle!

What the hell is up with Cindy, she is such a little slut. I keep seeing Jimmy looking at her when he’s on the sidelines. If he wants to break up with me for that little tramp, fine by me. I’m kinda seeing this frat guy behind his back, but it’s not cheating cause Jimmy’s such a jerk. He doesn’t even thank me for giving the entire offensive line head before the game, so they can concentrate on blocking for him. Fuck doing that, I don’t care if his scrawny ass ends up in the hospital, it would serve him right for making out with Kelly at that party last weekend.

Why are we supposed to pretend like our team still has a chance at winning? We’re down 52-0 with 3 minutes left, what the fuck is going to happen that’s going to give us a chance at winning? Is Jesus Christ going to come out of the damn sky and strike the other team dead? I don’t fucking think so!

And what is up with our team’s color scheme? I mean purple and gold? Who are we, the fucking Lakers? I wish we were, cause then I’d be a Laker girl and I could get all kind of modeling contracts and stuff, maybe even pose for Playboy! These next 3 minutes better go by quick, I am so damn bored.