I want my own television commercial like that chick who saved Christmas. I switched to a Macintosh from my old PC last week, because I wanted something that I could use right out of the box, without all the hassle of "learning" stuff. I mean who needs to know what "files" and "drivers" are, I don't need to know any of that stuff, I'm only using it to look at porn anyway!

I'm so happy that I found out how much easier the Mac makes my computing life. It's the AOL of the computer manufacturers, cause it makes it so simple that any moron can use one. Having a PC, and having to learn how to operate it properly, unfairly limits the amount of people that can access the information superhighway. Without Macs, online tech support people would be denied the joys of answering such questions as: "how do I get to espn.com?", "I can't save this file", and "I think I need a new internet."

So if that chick can get her own commercial, why not me? I've used my Macintosh to totally revolutionalize the way that I look at pictures of naked women. All I have to do is hold a bottle of hand lotion up to the screen and it automatically goes to my favorite porn site. If I get hungry while I'm looking at porn, I just say "pizza", and twenty minutes later the delivery guy shows up at my door. It even took care of that guy that was trying to serve me with child support papers, leaving me free to continue looking at porn.

Just give me a chance, I just want to show the world how much I love my Mac!