Bill Jefferson, the CEO of E-Bay, the world famous internet auction site, has announced plans to sell the company on its own service. Inside sources state that the auction could be the biggest in E-Bay’s history, because the company has a virtual monopoly on internet auction activity. The site attracts millions of customers a month and features a wide variety of goods and services available to the highest bidder.

The site took only a short while to catch on when it first started in 1995, growing to its current status today, undisputedly one of the top 3 auction companies in the entire world. The fact that anybody with internet access can log on and get started right away is a major reason for the popularity of the site. Another major reason has to do with the Biretto crime family having a large investment in the company. They tend to “discourage” any other companies from trying to gain a foothold in the online auction community.

When asked what his plans were following the sale of his lucrative company, Mr. Jefferson said that he doesn’t actually plan to give up control of his company. He plans to pocket the cash without delivering the product. “It might knock down my seller rating a few notches, but it’s a shitload of free money! Plus, I’ll just blame everything on Martha Stewart!”