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Jeb Bush Announces Foolproof Terrorist Detection Plan
- Tampa, FL

By Thaddeus McClean

In response to jokes and commentary on how many of the 9/11/01 terrorists lived and trained in flight schools in his state completely unnoticed, Florida Governer Jeb Bush has unveiled a plan to help local Florida law enforcement spot potential terrorists.

"I know this plan is late in coming, but it took an intense sociological study for us to find behaviors common to terrorists that would not be exhibited by other members of Florida's diverse cultural population."

"We have notified all law enforcment agencies in the state of Florida to look out for and act investigatively upon the following characteristic: Anyone who uses their turn signals regularly and uniformly while driving in the state of Florida should be carefully stopped for questioning and search. Our research indicates that in 99% of those cases, the person behind the wheel is a potential terrorist trying too hard to "fit in" or someone who used to live in New York."

When a member of the press corps from a major news agency questioned Mr. Bush on whether or not Florida law enforcement officials should be focusing attention on those drivers who do not use their turn signals regularly as it is a safety issue, he replied, "This is not a time for bi-partisan politics! We must stand united in fighting this war on terrorism."

A follow up question by this reporter to Mr. Bush on whether or not he had compromised the effectivness of his new plan by releasing the details publicly elicited a response of, "Oh."



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