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Everyone's Pretty On The Internet
- Austin, TX

By Cherry Bombe

In this digital age, computers assist us with an increasing number of life's tasks and now, pairing off in the name of procreation, or even just a good old fashioned romp between the sheets, is apparently one of them.

The World Wide Web houses innumerable sites providing services to the lonely, ranging from simple personal ads to artificially intelligent matching systems. And of course, the age old chatroom hookup seems to remain a popular favorite.

Law enforcement agencies, parents and friends warn against the dangers of fraternizing with "virtual strangers" but many of these warnings go unheeded in the name of love. "Yeah there are bad people out there, but that's just a risk you have to take if you want to find your one true love," DiVaPrInCeSs69 said.

And it is true that, within the vast realm of cyberspace, there are those that have found true happiness. Take, for example, the happiness shared by SnglGuyLQQKN and IMYOURGODDESS69. Only three and a half weeks after meeting IMYOURGODDESS69 in a "Cool People Only" chat on AOL, he drove cross-country to her West Virginia trailer park community to lay eyes, for the first time, on the woman he was sure was "the one."

"At first, I was a little annoyed by his grotesque deformity, which he never told me about, but in all fairness, I had failed to mention my morbid obesity. But being with him has made me realize, it's what's inside that counts," IMYOURGODDES69 said.

And this couple isn't the only pair of hideous misfits to find refuge in one another's arms. The Internet can boast scores of couples content with settling for all Cupid seems intent to hand them.

Many are pleased to see the way Internet technology has made not only information, but romance, more readily available than it has ever been before. "I never thought, while I was creating the Internet, that it would bring so many people together, but I'm glad it did, and does, and will continue to do so. And I'm proud to say I was a part of it," said a certain former Vice President.

So what is the verdict on cyberlovin'? Despite the risks, it remains popular, and success rates steadily increase. But what do the professionals think? "I believe Internet technology has reached it's zenith. I know it's where I would have turned to find a mate if it hadn't been for my billions of dollars," said Bill Gates.



Copyright The Fake News 2002. All Rights Reserved.


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