On Saturday, local alligator farmer Robert J. Koepoke publicly announced that he’s tired of trying to meet women in the Bithlo single’s scene, and has decided to advertise himself nationally.

Mr. Koepoke purchased ad space in major newspapers across the nation this past Sunday. The full page advertisement, featuring black & white photos of Mr. Koepoke, his alligator farm, and his pickup truck, titled “I can wrastle gators - I can handle you.”

The advertisement also featured testimony from Koepoke’s ex-wife, Eunice. “Things just didn’t work out between Bobby Joe and me. We just weren’t compatible as we thought. He’s a really great guy. He tried to make things work between us. I mean, he used to try and surprise me by bringing me home my own pork rinds and chewin’ tobacco when I didn’t feel good.” The former Mrs. Koepoke is now remarried to Bithlo’s one traffic signal.

Tragically, Mr. Koepoke’s advertisement was published with an incorrect mailing address for interested respondents. This cause most of the responses to be sent to a different post office box, causing the interested women to be entered into a contest to win a used woodchipper from "Bithlo Bait, Tackle, Hardware and Groceries." When asked for comment, most of these women indicated they would be more interested in the woodchipper anyway.

Mr. Koepoke said he could not confirm or deny rumors that he has been contacted via phone by representatives of Ms. Anna Nicole Smith.

Copyright The Fake News 2002. All Rights Reserved.

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