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Nobody Loves Raymond
- Enfield, CT
"Everyone Loves Raymond" is one of the television shows that networks usually only dream about. A comedy that is a perennial Emmy nominee for Best Comedy Series without having something that most hit comedies need to stay on the air for more than 6 episodes: humor. Apparantly the same writers that come up with what pass for jokes on the show are the same people responsible for coining the title of the show. Maybe the writers have the word "Everyone" confused with another word or phrase; possibly "Some People", "A Few People", or "Ray Romano's Parents". I decided to ask around and see if I was the only one that doesn't "Love Raymond".

Both of my friends concurred that while they have occasionally watched the show, they would not categorize their feelings toward the show as "Love". Emboldened by my early success in proving the title to be a total falsity, I conducted a poll to find out if this trend would prove nationwide. I told my boss that I had to use the company phone line to conduct research for a story, and began to randomly dial numbers, posing the following question to the poll subjects: "Would you consider your feelings towards Ray Romano, the title character of the show "Everyone Loves Raymond", to be "love"? Here are some of the responses.

Paula from Pittsburgh: "I've never heard of that show, I only watch BET. I love that Usher though. He's so sexy!"

Jim from Wallingford, CT: "I can't stand that fucking guy. The only time I put that show on is when I have insomnia. It usually puts me right to sleep. I love Raymond about as much as I love hemmeroids."

Juanita from Foxboro, MA: "He's all right. I wouldn't say I love him, I guess tolerate would be a better word. If I want to laugh, I put on Friends. That's pretty much the only comedy I watch regularly."

Joel from College Park, MD: I firmly believe that Ray Ramano is the Anti-Christ. Howard the Duck made me laugh more than that guy does. Hell, I'd rather watch Leonard Part 6 on eternal replay than one episode of that show. It should be called "Everyone Loathes Raymond!"

Obviously I'm not alone in my opinion that Raymond is not the object of affection that his show makes him out to be. I also found out that it's really easy to get people to give you their credit card information over the phone, but I'm out of space in this column, that will have to wait for another column. Just remember that just because something's on TV, that doesn't necessarily make it true. Coming tomorrow: Britney Spears - Underexposed?

Copyright The Fake News 2002. All Rights Reserved


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