Stretching, moaning the whole time, he grabbed the remote and handed it to her with a look saying he had completed a feat of herculean magnitude just for her. She showed him proper gratitude; she batted her eyelashes at him and gave him a simpering smile, like some 1940's heroine, before taking the remote from his hand. Pointing it toward the bookshelf, she asked, "How about some music, now that the power gods have deigned to smile upon us?" 

"Tired of the sound of my voice?" he quipped, tickling her again. 

"No! No ... it's not that! I promise!" she said, laughing. 

He relented, a wolfish grin on his face. "Yeah, yeah, yeah," he said, "heard that before. Naw, I'm just messin'. Music sounds like a good idea." 

"Anything in particular you wanna hear?" she asked, while racking her brain trying to remember which cd was in which slot. 

He leaned up on his elbow. "'Tis your house, milady. 'Tis your choice," he said, ducking his head in a small bow. 

"Hmmm ... what should I play," she said, her brow furrowing in thought. All at once, her eyes lit up and she said, "OH ... that would be perfect!" Lifting the remote, she chose the cd and pushed the play button. 

The opening strains of "Sailing" began. "I love this song. Have you heard the original version by Christopher Cross? I loved it then, but when they redid it they created a whole new feeling." Chris had frozen behind her. She was starting to wonder if he were still breathing. "Dag, it's not that bad! You don't have to go into shock over it. If you want something else, all you have to do is tell me," she said with a laugh. 

Mentally shaking himself, Chris said, "Uh ... no, no it's okay. Whose song is this?" 

"*NSYNC's," she said. She did her best to keep her voice steady when all she really wanted to do was release a nervous giggle. "Don't know 'em? They're really great. I think they have the best meld of voices around." 

"Oh ...." he croaked out. He cleared his throat, working at keeping himself balanced while the room seemed to spin. "Really?" 

"Oh yeah and they're cute, too!" she said. Her hands began to tremble as a silence descended over him. 

He lay there quietly, his arm wrapped around her waist, just as it had been when she had turned the music on. Like the slow beginnings of an avalanche, reality sank into his mind. His grip tightened about her as he turned her over to look into her face. The smile plastered on her face was playful, but what he could not know what how worried she had become. He laid back on the floor, an arm thrown over his eyes. 

"Chris? Chris ... don't you dare freak on me!" she said. Her worried tone had no effect on him, as if he were either unable or unwilling to hear her. Kate leaned up on her arm, looking down at the man who, only moments before, was holding her with tenderness. 

Without looking at her, he said, "I won't. When did you know?" Damn! I should have known. I should have seen it coming, but I thought just once....

"Well ... uh," she stuttered. Oh God, what have I done! "I ... uh ... well..." she trailed off. Kate felt horrible and looked away from him. The way he was pulling away from her was unbearable; she could feel her heart closing again. The old protective instincts were there, attempting to save her, but this time she would not let them. This was her fault, and she would take responsibility for it. 

Taking his arm from his eyes, he reached up grasping her chin and turned her face to his. "Well?" he asked. He had to see her eyes. He had to know how big a fool he had been. 

The pain in his eyes tore at her heart. Closing her eyes briefly, she replied, "I knew the minute I looked out my window and saw you, soaking wet, on my porch." 

His eyes flashed at what he thought of as her betrayal. His hand dropped from her face and he stared at the ceiling silently, his expression unreadable. After several minutes, he muttered, "I hope you got what you wanted." 

Silent tears trickled down from her eyes. "Chris ... I'm sorry. I know I should have told you from the beginning. I don't know why I didn't ... really I don't," she said, trying to contain the sob that tore at the back of her throat. "Please look at me. Chris ... please!" 

He remained motionless, only the rise and fall of his chest showing life. There was no way he was going to let her see how much this was hurting him. How could she do this to me? I really thought she was different ... special, but she's just like all the others ... just wanting to lay a star.

She watched him, looking for any sign that he might have heard her, but there was none. Her eyes lovingly roamed over his features, praying for some indication of what he was thinking. As if their minds were connected, she answered the question he could not ask. "Chris," she whispered close to his ear. "Chris ... I didn't want to be with the singer ... I wanted the man ... I wanted you. I'm so sorry." Unable to bear his silence any longer, she started to get up. Just go away. Leave him alone, haven't you hurt him enough? her mind screamed at her. 

He could feel her moving away from him. Of its own volition, his hand caught her arm, pulling her back. "So, I wasn't just some kind of conquest for you?" he asked. Hot tears were swimming in his dark eyes, seeking to escape. 

It seems that hope does spring eternal in the hearts of lovers. Her head snapped back to him at the first touch of his hand on her arm, her heart pounding. She wanted to reach out to him, but waited. He needed to set the pace. "Do you really think I would want you for a conquest?" she asked. 

"Gee ... thanks," he said, a curious expression moving over his face. "I'm not worthy to be a conquest? Maybe you'd rather have Josh or Justin?" 

"What are you talking about? Of course I don't want Josh or Justin ... that's not what I said," she told him. Can't you get anything right, her thoughts scolded her. "I'm not doing this ... I'm not." She pushed the comforter off, pulling her arm from his grip at the same time. "Here, you take the comforter. I have more in my room." 

She stood next to him, gloriously naked, tears streaming down her face. He was over coming his shock and beginning to see what really had happened. She hadn't been deceiving him. She had been doing her best to make him comfortable and let him be himself without the worry of keeping up his image, and what was he doing? He was crushing her. 

Kate stood there staring down at the man who caused her world to brighten, but now it was dimming once more. She turned from the sight, the pain overwhelming her. Chris threw the cover onto the couch as he got up. "Katie ... I'm sorry," he said. "Please, don't go." 

She turned back to him. "Chris, I can't do this. I can't be here ... not like this." He's never going to understand ... why bother trying. No one truly understands. Her heart ached with emotions she had hoped were dead. How could one night change so much? How could such a small amount of time turn her world upside down and inside out? Lowering her head, she walked on toward her bedroom. 

He moved up behind her, closing his arms around her, effectively stopping her bid for escape. "Katie, please," he said, as tears coursed down his cheeks. "I ... I ... Oh God." He tried to make her face him, but she was immoveable. Giving up, he eased around her, keeping her within the ring of his arms. Once he stood before her, he took her chin in his hand bringing her eyes up to meet his own. "Katie, my kind of life ... well ... I meet so many people, and a lot of them are there just to meet Chris from *NSYNC ... not me. Some of them seem like they might be interested in the real me, but ... most of the time it turns out to be just an act, and their 'care and concern' comes with strings. They want something from me, whether it's to be with someone famous or just to be seen with someone famous. I ... I forget how to trust. I'm so sorry," he said, his voice cracking as the tears choked his throat. Damnit ... I finally find someone that might actually like me for me and I have to go and kill it before it before it has a chance to live.

His words flowed over her, somehow finding their way into her mind. At first, she was numb to them, not wanting to hear them or understand them, only wanting to hide from the anguish in her soul. She tried to mentally distance herself from him, but his eyes, staring insistently into hers, brought her back. Could it be true? I'm so scared ... He looked so anxious, as if everything hinged on her response. "I can understand how it must be for you. Life isn't simple for anyone, but for you it must be a constant struggle ... not knowing who to trust ... not knowing what is going to end up in tomorrow's tabloids. It's hard to not hide yourself away from everything and everyone," she said, the last words more for herself than for him. "Why do you think I live way up here?" 

A strained smile broke through his tears. "To save stranded motorists?" he asked, attempting a joke. He could almost feel her wavering at the brink of getting past what had happened and trying their budding relationship again. Try as he might, he was unable to find the right words to bring her back. It would have to be her choice and hers alone. 

"If that were true, then I would have been wasting my time. You're the first one I've 'saved' in the whole time I've been here," she said. What can I say? What can I tell him without telling him everything and why do I feel I can tell him anything at all? Scenes flashed through her mind, scenes of pain and humiliation, of fear and shame. He could never understand. "Chris, all that mattered to me tonight was that you were here with me ... that you cared about me ... that you wanted me. I'll admit that I didn't know the real you before you walked into my life, but I know that I like and care for the man who came in that door," she said, pointing at it as her tears trailed over his hand on her cheek. 

His eyes sparkled as her impassioned speech drove straight through to his heart. He brought his other hand up to cup her face and wipe the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. Kissing her softly, he said, "I'm so sorry, Katie. I acted like an idiot ... it all just caught me off guard. Actually, it caught me 'on guard'. I've been so guarded about everything I do and say for so long that I just reacted. I didn't think. I'm sorry." 

"You weren't the only one to make a mistake tonight," she said. She placed her hands on his chest, then moved them up over his shoulders. "I'm sorry, Chris. Believe me, I am." 

"Guess this means were even?" he asked, a loving smile gracing his face. 

Smiling in return, she said, "Yes, Sweetie ... we are." Her arms wrapped around his shoulders as he drew her body to his. The kiss they shared was beautiful and at the same time soul-shattering. It moved through them like a forest fire before a strong wind, burning through the old debris of long dead heartache making way for new growth. 

They slowly eased apart and the cool air caused goose bumps to rise over their skin. "Let's go back to the couch," Chris said. "I think that comforter needs us." 

She laughed as they scrambled toward the couch. They cuddled under the cover as Chris closed it around them. "Ooo ... I think you're warmer than the cover," she said, shivering. He took her in his arms almost pulling her into his lap. "Ahhh ... now that feels better." 

"Yeah, it does," he said, sighing. He sat quietly, holding her for a time, as they savored the warmth and watched the fire. 

"Chris," she said, turning her face to him. "Just for the record ... there are no strings with me. I don't want you to ever feel as though I want something from you. Well ... there are things I want from you, but..." she smiled evilly. "Naw, that's not all I want ... I like your mind, too." 

His head fell back against the couch as he laughed. "No strings attached, huh?" he asked, barely able to get the words out. 

Kate slapped his chest as she fell into her own fit of giggles. "Oh, you just had to go there, didn't you," she said. The joyous release was just what the two of them needed after the tension that had permeated them. The warmth and closeness was reestablished between them. 

Rubbing his hand over her back, he said, "Tell ya what ... how about we try starting over?" 

"Start over? You're ready for that already?" she asked, trying to move the comforter out of her line of sight. 

Chris howled with laughter, while he swatted at her hands. "You know that's not what I'm saying. Uhm ... well ... not yet anyway," he said, wagging his eyebrows. "I meant...." 

"I know what you meant, Sweetie," she said, kissing him lightly on the cheek. "I think it's a great idea." 

They scooted around on the couch so they could face each other, then he extended his hand as if to shake hers. Suddenly, their situation dawned on them and they both broke into gales of hilarity. They sat there preparing to reintroduce themselves and they were stark naked. "Now wouldn't this be a more exciting way of meeting someone. 'Hi, nice to see you!'" he said, leering at her comically. He pretended to inspect her, while really finding places to tickle her. 

"Stop! Stop!" she said, slapping his hands and giggling uncontrollably. He slowed his questing fingers and began gently stroking her satiny skin. "Jumping past the introductions, aren't you?" she asked, a knowing gleam in her eye. 

He leaned away, extending his hand again. "Hi, I'm Chris," he said, using his best 'nice to meet you' grin. "I'm a minor bit of a moderately popular singing group ... but, please, try not to hold that against me." 

She chuckled, shaking her head and extending her hand to shake his. "Hi, I'm Kate," she said, imitating his grin and tone. "I'm hiding away up here on the mountain and spend my spare time rescuing stranded motorists." 

Their laughter subsided as they looked deeply into each others eyes. Slowly, he brought her hand up to his mouth, kissing her knuckles then turning her hand to kiss the palm. "I'm very happy to meet you, lovely lady," he said. 

"And I, you, kind sir." Her other hand raised to run her fingers through his hair. Resting her hand on the side of his face, she haltingly brought their lips together. The kiss was a gentle exploration of the senses, each of them locking away the moment in their memories. Kate pulled back a bit, breaking the contact. "What would you think of continuing this in a more comfortable surrounding?" 

"I would think that you have a wonderfully intelligent head on your shoulders," he said, smiling sensually. He kissed her quickly, then pulled her up from the couch as he rose. Leaving the comforter behind, they raced toward the bedroom. 

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