This one time, at band camp...fun stuff from summer '04.
Me (laughing at my sister's horse stumbling): He can't walk and chew at the same time!
Lila: He must be a republican.
Sarah: ...it doesn't really matter what it is as long as it's exotic. No no no not erotic, Chelsea!
Sarah: I guess if I had to pick which one you would be, I'd pick band. I guess that's because I don't really know much about choir. So don't listen to me. I don't know what I'm talking about.
Melanie: Your horn was just destroyed--you have the right to damn anything you want.
(Beka is making rice noodles [AKA crazy noodles] for Chinese chicken salad)
Me: Are noodles born from the packaging crazy, or do they have craziness thrust upon them in the heat of hot oil?
Beka: No, they achieve craziness.
*A few days later*
Beka: I love how we can make puns from Shakespeare!
Whitney: Do you guys know where a gas station is?
Random tourists (pointing directly across the street): Well, just that one over there.
Whitney: What's a mollusk?
Beka: It's a shellfish.
Whitney: Oh, I keep thinking mullet.
Me: I love how I have a whole orchestra in my head.
Becky: You are a whole orchestra!
Whitney: A cute one though! I'm a whore so I always have to stand up for whores.
*everyone else looks confused*
Whitney: I thought you called her a whore...
(Listening to Cabaret)
Beka: Is this Kristalnacht?
Whitney: Oh, I didn't know he had a name.
Whitney (responding to something on the Olympics): She broke her nose, or your finger?
Me: She broke the world record.
Katie: Oh, but licking is so much more fun than kissing!
Beka: Whose corvette is that?
Me: Are you sure that's a corvette?
Beka: The top goes down.
Me: Ummm...convertible?
Beka: Yes. That.
Me: Want a cookie?
Whitney: No, just beer.
Beka: Synchronized swimmers. Very small. Travel sized.
Becky (holding out both hands): I have five fingers!
Beka: No answer.
Becky: Fuck you, Athens!
Me: Did you ever notice how, if you tied Beka's hands behind her back, she couldn't talk?
Becky: We should try that sometime.
*Beka glares evilly*
Becky: You should try it.
Jeff: Your dog looks like Tina Turner.
Melanie: That should be my new goal--marry a von Trapp.
Trina (to Melanie): You, babysit.
Me: Isn't that what you've been doing this whole time?
Two words--food fireworks.
Trina: What? Seat behind pipe?!
Me: They almost dropped my horn! I would have shot somebody...not that I had a gun in the airport...(guilty look)
Trina: I'm tremendously smart, no matter what she says.
Melanie: Why did not I see that?
Pete: She's your room mascot? So somebody dresses up in a big sweaty suit that looks like her?
Megan: I'd be like, dude, you're like Kate, but you're Mel!
Beka: Oo! Oo! We can be the Impetuous and Probably Misguided Youth Mafia!
Me: Or Gestapo, perhaps? I want to be a misguided nazi! Okay, so that was redundant...
Beka: Well, I don't know about that...are there many Gestapo Jews?
Me: You could be the first.
Beka: Diversity training in the Gestapo! We can get me, and a Gypsy, and a homosexual and a social deviant, and a communist, and we can skip down the street singing "It's A Small World!"
Trina: Not for them, not for them, for me.
Allison: This guy's going off to war and you guys don't care, and that's not good!
Trina: What happened to your voice?
Erik: I must have slept on it funny.
Joeda: I HATE YOU ALL!
Trina: I rock!
Doc: This part no havee cluster chlords! ...Trina didn't even catch that.
Trina: What? I was fixing Julie's horn in my head.
Greubel: I was watching her think.
Trina: Stay regular, don't use Ricos!
Rachel: It's constipation of the high C!
Me: Clavi? Is that plural for claves?
Doc: That would make my black hawk soar!
Me: Db equals C# equals 1-2-3 kick out mondo bigtime!
Melanie: Maybe he's adopted and that's why his hair is so long!
Megan (asleep): *weird squeaky noise*
Me: What was that?
Megan (awake): I was having a nightmare that this old lady saw me naked!
Melanie: Would you like it on a bus? I would like it anywhere!
Marcia (asleep): I need a slobber bib.
Marcia (laying on the floor, asleep): Chaz, if you fall off the couch, I'm gonna land on you.
Marcia: Zerbert!
Marcia: Go blow your own? Sweet!
Melanie: Can we go see your horsey?
Me: Sure, but you'll have to put clothes on for him.
Melanie: Oh damn.
Beka: You should be careful...Buddhists are tricky. They just creep up behind you and convert you when your back is turned.
Mr. Keeney: ...it's a metaphor for my intellectual life.
Me: With you, everything's a metaphor!
Mr. Keeney (a minute or so later): We were talking about headless chickens, by the way.
Dad: Look, eagles!
Courtney: I don't see them!
Dad: Up there, Courtney, they don't swim!
Me: I have to go practice...don't make fun of me!
Katey: Lord knows you couldn't sleep if you didn't!
Me: Yeah yeah, laugh at me when I'm the best (insert every instrument EVER)-alist in the world. Maybe then I'll give you comp. tickets.
Katey: Yeah yeah! Go practice! Time's a wastin'. Carnegie is callin'!
Lila: Why would you shoot off firecrackers for Memorial Day? Do they think they're in Iraq?
