Shoebox: Well. That was...disappointing. (Especially the part where my tape kicked out before Ted's performance. I know he's not going through anyway, but, still, geez, I was looking forward to hearing him! Every other night, the anointed one gets eighth slot, but noooo...)

Shoemom's Benedict hatred continues to blossom finely. "He's so stupid...Last year he was OK, but this year he's just too much." Me: "Yeah...he's somehow been convinced he really is just too cute and affable for words." Shoemom (making a face): "Just like his dad...that's how he got to be Prime Minister, everybody thought he was just such a nice guy. Ew."

...And proceeded to make me fastforward through 'everything but them singing.' I tell you, it warms my heart cockles.

Problem was, 'them singing' didn't do much for us either...

Brock. He has a fairly nice tone, and a decent idea of where he wanted to take the material (not that I was going there with him. DuckBoi sings Disney? So much for Western Civilization). But the execution? Ow. That is all. Truly, there are not words to express the depth of the amateurish awfulness that was that performance. He'd've been laughed off the stage at his high-school talent show.

(Shoemom, every time the judges brought up the 'cute' thing, genuinely bewildered: "Cute?")

Joe Dwarf: Why oh why didn't the judges point out how horribly, horribly flat he was? If he hit 50% of those notes I'd be shocked. And the presentation - OK, maybe he was actively trying to appeal to all the 11 year old girls who will be voting like mad for him right now. But it was awful, stilted and smarmy and overenunciated and and and... I just don't have the words for the suckitude. 0.5/10 - he gets 0.5 for at least hitting a few notes.

Shoebox: Danielle. The first major disappointment of the night. Whoever convinced the wonderfully expressive performer of boot-camp that she was a diva belter needs to be smacked a good one upside the ear, pronto (I'm looking at you, Byrd...). Plus, the flouncy-flouncy 'tude - in a dress that doesn't take at all well to flouncing - is giving out major bugness vibes. Yup, she's from Hamilton, pretty much.

Joe Dwarf: She's pretty, I'll give her that. Boring, missed a number of notes, 4/10

Shoebox: Jason. Is about half as good as he thinks he is. 'Struggling musician', forsooth. Also, interpreting a Bryan Adams song as a cutesy ballad? Yeah, I bet that gets you all kinds of street cred, down there in the Newfoundland bars.

Joe Dwarf: Nice voice, but he sang that like he's just done it at his 5th wedding gig this month. Dropping the mike after every phrase is extremely annoying and just emphasizes how disconnected he is from the song - no passion at all. 5/10

Shoebox: Manoah. I think I'll just leave this one to Shoemom: "It looks like they smeared lipstick all over her hair!" Later, holding hands to ears: "I hate it when they shout at me..." Me:"Well, her basic tone is nice..." Shoemom:"Yeah, and it's breaking my eardrums!"

Joe Dwarf: Not a big fan of the song, slightly shaky start but then she nailed every single thing after the first bar. Still something missing, can't quite put my finger on it. 7.5/10

Shoebox: Shane. Ew. Pretentious much? I dunno, maybe it was just me, but the "I'm an ARTISTE who doesn't have to care what you plebe judges say" was coming off him in great big waves. Singing...Great voice, song boring, entire package as meh as they come. About the same reaction I had to his audition, come to think of it.

(Besides, I've just been reading the Wrath of Clay Nation over on the scary board...and I feel your pain, Zack! Enough to forgive the shirt ruffles, even! We'll get through it together!)

Joe Dwarf: Well done but not even remotely my thing. I can't imagine him holding my interest ever. If he makes it through he'll be out in the first 2 weeks simply due to inspiring neither love nor hatred in anybody. 5/10

Shoebox: Becky/Rebecca. I hate when they do that. Pick a name and stick with it, kid. And if you're smart, it'll be 'Rebecca'...because you're no teenybopper starlet. That was some serious mojo you had working for you tonight, girl. Sexy and sassy to the max, vivid, rich tone. I loved it. Shoemom (who incidentally [hearts] Moondance: "Was that what she was singing? Boy, she did that well!") loved it. If DuckBoi makes it in over you...well, this competition wasn't worth winning anyhow.

Joe Dwarf: A little too affected in the early stages, finished nicely. I was a little bit bugged by the overly loud shouty version of Moondance, but as the judges pointed out hardly anyone ever strays from Van the Man's version so good on her. 8/10.

Shoebox: Jermaine. Disappointment No.2...and this one is worse. Much, much worse. I give you all props for dissing the judges with class...but let's face it, man, you had nothing tonight. All that wonderful rich velvety goodness you showed off at the boot-camp? Gone without trace. It's like somebody turned you off at the master switch.

Joe Dwarf: Does he have wax plugging his ears? What about his friends in the group? How about some of you posters who wondered why the judges dissed this? Horribly, horribly off-key through the entire song, every single fucking note. That last held note was just painful - he had the talent to hold it very well at just the wrong pitch for way too long. 1/10 - at least the delivery wasn't pure Velveeta with a side of awkward like Brock.

Ted - pretty fair however I have heard Ray Charles perform "Georgia" live and Ted, you are no Ray Charles. You are a pudgy 43 year old master pipefitter who's stolen his apprentice's ID and will be found out soon. Still, I enjoyed it, especially near the end when he cut loose. He'd do really good on some whitified blues like off the Blues Brothers' soundtrack. 8/10