Joe Dwarf: I used to be not so much a fan of Gordon Lightfoot. I think it was the constant rotation of Lightfoot songs in the 70s that killed him for me - when the Cancon rules came in, there were only a handful of Canadian artists big enough for radio to play, and they had 35% of airtime to fill. But with a few years perspective you've got to give the man his due - he's an incredibly talented and prolific songwriter, and as cliche as the term is, a Canadian icon. In fitting tribute, everybody save one was in good form tonight.

Elena (Early Morning Rain) - I was really impressed with this. Several of the people were singing alternate arrangements made famous by other people. If this was one of them, she picked a beauty. If this was her own arrangement, my hat is off. She played with the melody without changing the feel or intent of the song, and made it suited to her own voice. This was her best performance, and the best of the night.

Jason (Rainy Day People) - Jason sang a competent, countrified version of a beautiful, sad song and smiled all the way through it like the asshat he is. It's hard to believe he's so clueless that he thinks this is a happy bar-band song but week after week this guy competently sings material he apparently hasn't bothered reading the words to. Jason, next time you sing this song at the Elk's Lodge keg night in East Butthole, Newfoundland, try these alternate lyrics, they'd have about the same emotional resonance as you gave the original lyric:

Rainy day people always seem to know when it’s last call
Rainy day people don’t talk, they just drink till they’ve drunk it all
Rainy day lovers don’t lie when they ask to take them home with you
Rainy day people don’t mind if you’re buyin’ a beer or two

Jacob (Sundown) - I'm told this is the Jesse Winchester version. I could see what he was trying to do with it but anytime the Idols depend on the karaoke backing to carry the song to any extent, it fails. Somehow the reproduction they use on that show just turns anything cool to cheese. Overall it didn't work at all for me, although Mrs. Dwarf liked it quite a bit. The Wet Willie at the end was priceless, though. You could tell that Ben was some pissed. He didn't manage to get Ben to shut up, though. Shut up, Ben.

Shane (The Way I Feel) - I find his voice to be a little too clear and light to do Lightfoot justice, but he sang that very well, easily his best performance so far. I know the Cowboy Junkies have covered this, not sure if this was their version although given the backing guitar and pacing of it I suspect that was the case. He was immediately suffering in my mind because the Cowboy Junkies thoughts kept surfacing and I kept thinking how much more I'd like to hear Margo Timmins sing it.

Theresa (Song for a Winter's Night) - She was suffering from the same problems as Jacob, a reliance on the backing track, compounded by a reliance on backing vocals. That never, ever works. Gawd, haven't these people watched any Idol shows? I defy anyone to name me one performance where a strong backing vocal was anything but a distraction. Also, I was hoping for some innovation from her rather than nearly a note for note repetition of the McLachlan version. Having said that, I enjoyed it and it was lovely to hear that her voice has regained its strength. It's also nice to get a little nod from the judges so that the public knew about her previous trouble. I don't know what the hell was up with that outfit. Some sort of smocky, bell-sleeved horror in that particular shade of blue that Seventies male figure skaters always picked for their costumes. How fitting to be singing Gordon Lightfoot draped in something that might have once covered Toller Cranston's butt.

Kalan (If You Could Read My Mind) - Kalan has the closest voice in the competition to Lightfoot, and he used it well here. I don't think it's his best performance - you can see a few chinks in the armour. I'm starting to suspect I'm correct in my theory that his real talent is picking songs that suit the way he sings, rather than being able to really interpret songs he picks. Either way works for this competition though, and it was still pretty good. I enjoyed it and he's not going anywhere soon.

My bottom three - Jacob, Shane, Jason, with Jason going home.

The real bottom three - Elena, Shane, Jason, with Elena going home.

Results Show

Shoebox: Group performance! Yay...say, camera, get back here. Right dead centre...OK, maybe a little more to the right...no, ignore the doofus with the guitar...yep, hold it right there, the little scrawny blond kid making the fiddle dance like there's no tomorrow. Nice.

Joe Dwarf: Kalan looked animated for once and was having more fun than he's ever had on the show before. He's clearly the class of the instrumentalists.

Shoebox: (Incidentally, did anybody catch the clip of StraightHairKalan in the rehearsals? Dead straight and all slammed down under a trucker cap? I had to blink and figure out who let the prop guy's eight-year-old into shot.)

Instruments!

Joe Dwarf: For some people. Shane and Theresa may as well have been on air-bass and air-mandolin. They both sang well enough, but clearly they were the right-fielders of that little league team.

Shoebox: Aside from the problems inherent in having about ten seconds to rehearse, that was so, so cool. Everybody sounded fab vocally, too, probably just completely relaxed. It felt...I don't know...meaningful or something, musically. In other words, when 19Evil find out about this, we are so dead.

Joe Dwarf: Even Jason. When he's behind the guitar, drops the smile and the fake country accent and sings a folk song like an actual bye from the rock, I kinda like him. We now see that Jacob is a band kind of guy, and he can play a little bit.

Shoebox: Shoemom, eyeing Benedict critically: "I think that's the single ugliest jacket I've ever seen in my life. And look at Kalan, he always wears the most awful clothes!" Me: "Mom, he's eighteen." Shoemom: "Well, yes, but he could still look nice. Somebody should talk to him. And Jacob, too. They're both so good-looking..."

Billy! (Shoemom: "Why did people vote for Whatshisname last year, again?") Welcome back, my man. Looking great - we now have proof that stress makes you eat. Sounding great - the second single is a damn sight more impressive than the first, anyhow. Workin' that Flailing Arm of Death. Bliss. Pay no attention to the crowd, they're just confused because you don't have blonde curls.

Joe Dwarf: He didn't seem any porkier than last year, but he is still wearing his trademark stupid sunglasses. Sounded like generic rock to me. Slow verse/fast chorus with baritone voice, standard recipe for a radio rock song in 2004. Could have been Theory of a Dead Man or any other of a dozen Pearl Jam Lite bands. It really paled in comparison to the clip of him singing Lightfoot - that was great.

Shoebox: Lightfoot! Benedict, for the last time, stop drooling over the music legends! You're coming off as the second guy in the skit where the Mafia don or whatever turns and growls 'Don't touch the suit." At any rate, Gordie...or the reanimated corpse of same, whichever...thanks.

Byrd. Not since Oprah have so many empowerment cliches been gathered in one short film clip. But of course the contestants adore her (on pain of missing supper, probably). Guys, just for me, go back and watch Josh's Group One performance, OK?

Results! Where the hell is Jason in that lineup? Why isn't he goned? If this is an example of the fabled Newfie sense of dark humour, frankly, I'd rather be watching CODCO reruns, OK? I'm suddenly in agreement with Crazed Elena Fanguy, and it's not an easy sensation.

Joe Dwarf: I'm slightly surprised to see Jacob in the bottom three. It says to me he doesn't have much regional support and is living or dying on his performances. One bad performance and he's not even first back to the couch. Good on Shane, he didn't deserve to go after that performance. But neither did Elena.

Shoebox: Jake is at great pains to tell Elena not to take their unanimous prediction seriously. Oh, great. First musical innovation, now judicial sincerity. Yup, we're in trouble.

Elena sounds horribly nervous her first singout, extraordinary her second, turns around to the gang on "I love you..." Everyone looks miserable - Kalan isn't even bothering to be brave anymore - except Jason the Doofus, who looks like he's trying very very hard to assume the correct pose of sorriness, but is in reality thinking "Woo-hoo! More room in the limo!"

Joe Dwarf: Once more Theresa is too teary to face the camera - girl is going to have to grow some thicker skin if she really wants this career. Elena kicked ass on the singout, good on her.

Shoebox: Crazed Fan holds up a ROBBED sign.

Joe Dwarf: Robbed, indeed.

Shoebox: I'm still in agreement, not unmixed with relief that he won't be on my TV screen anymore. Bye, Queen Elena. It was fun.