Memo
From: EFFICIENCY & TICKET, LTD.,
Management Consultants
To: Chairman, The London Symphony
Orchestra
Re: Schubert's Symphony No. 8 in B
minor.
After attending a rehearsal of this work
we make the following observations and recommendations:
We note that the twelve first violins
were playing identical notes, as were the second violins. Three violins
in each section,
suitably amplified, would seem to us to be adequate.
Much unnecessary labour is involved in
the number of demisemiquavers in this work; we suggest that many of
these could
be rounded up to the nearest semiquaver thus saving practice time for
the individual player and rehearsal time for the entire
ensemble. The simplification would also permit more use of trainee and
less-skilled players with only marginal loss of
precision.
We could find no productivity value in
string passages being repeated by the horns; all tutti repeats could
also be eliminated
without any reduction of efficiency.
In so labour-intensive an undertaking as
a symphony, we regard the long oboe tacet passages to be extremely
wasteful.
What notes this instrument is called upon to play could, subject to a
satisfactory demarcation conference with the
Musician's Union, be shared out equitably amongst the other
instruments.
Conclusion: if the above recommendations
are implemented the piece under condsideration could be played through
in less
than half an hour with concomitant savings in overtime, lighting and
heating, wear and tear on the instruments and hall
rental fees. Also, had the composer been aware of modern cost-effective
procedures he might well have finished this work.
