WHY THE FUCK!?
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Big Japan - All The Fish In The Sea Are Stupid Sluts Anyway
So today I went down to Low Yat with my dad to get the price quotation for the guy who has 'hired' me to do so. I do not know about payments though but I am definitely not expecting much, or anything.

So yeah I got a price quotation from the All IT Hypermart store. Why you may ask? Don't they have other shops which provide somewhat slightly cheaper prices? Yes you may be right. However the All IT Hypermart store has better service and also there were no people at the counter so I could get first priority in service. Furthermore most other shops were ran by Malays. No offense. I am not a racist or anything. I just had lots of bad experiences with Malay staff at these places in Low Yat. Let us just say they could not meet my requirements. So yeah I got the price quotation from there. It was somewhat good because the person who gave the quotations actually wrote his name on the piece of paper. It makes it seem like there is actually responsibility taken over there.

Anyways then I went to buy DVD-Rs. I still have this problem where I do not really know what is the difference between DVD-R and DVD+R. Internet articles I have read do not really say anything but that it is a way how they are being burnt. I mean come on. Everybody would have suspected that. I used to buy Imation brand for CD-Rs so naturally I looked for the same brand only this time for DVD-Rs. I found it weird that the Imation DVD-Rs did not indicate the size of their dvd capacities whereas other brands indicated clearly they were 4.7GB in space. Not feeling safe I decided to go for the Mitsubishi brand. Clearly I did so because of the brand.

Lastly I went to get a usb drive for my aunt from brisbane whom I promised I would get for her while she was still in Malaysia as it may have been cheaper than getting one in Australia. The storekeep which I purchased the usb drive from was a Malay guy. He talked to me in Mandarin. My dad talked to him instead since I knew nothing about Mandarin. Apparently this dude went to a chinese school. I guess he talked to us in Mandarin in hopes he could please the customers. Tough luck. I know nothing about Mandarin.

* * * * *

Don't you just hate it, when you're the type of person where you treat your things very carefully and somehow or rather you still manage to screw up and damage them by accident? Well yeah. I noticed today that I dented my subwoofer speaker's grill with my chair. I placed it right at my feet because there is no other space for me place my things. My dad packed all my things in boxes and stuffed them under my desk which left me no leg space at all. Furthermore the place where I used to put my computer casing also is occupied. I really hate it when people move my things around and they think it is for the better. There was nothing wrong with its previous arrangements why the hell do they have to make things worse for me? It is my room damnit. Leave it alone!

Previously I also realized there was a scratch on my mobile phone's screen. That really upset me so much. The thing is I do not even know how that happened. As far as I know I never had it collide with anything. These kind of things really make me feel like just throwing them the fuck away and buying new stuff altogether. Problem is I do not have money to replace them. I am so angry. I am so helpless. Life sucks.

Back to Life
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Michael Bolton - Can I Touch You There
So... my grandmother passed away last Thursday the 10th.
My sister woke me up at 6:30am on that day and told me that we had to rush to the hospital as something was up with grandmother. So I just washed up and left. We arrived there at University Hospital at 6:50am and I saw the doctor which talking to my aunties who were already there. It was not a good scene. What I feared had happened. My grandmother had in fact passed away. The whole room was emotional except for me. I wish I could have cried at that time but my body's defect prevented me from doing so. No matter how hurt I feel, I cannot cry. It just does not seem to function for me anymore.

My parents, sister and two aunties went back to my grandmother's house originally to get her clothes to dress her before putting her body in a casket. While I stayed behind with my two other aunties to settle the bill and all. The entire process seemed eternity to me. The whole day was dark and gloomy.

While waiting to a certain point, one of my aunties who stayed behind told my dad not to bother coming back with the clothes and that it would be faster and more convenient to just bring the body back to the house and settle everything there instead for at that time, it was already day time and was rush hour too.

My dad came to pick me up and we headed back to my grandmother's place. I then followed my dad to go get some breakfast. I was freaking hungry already before and my dad somehow managed to read my mind. My grandmother's house is somewhat at the foot of Bukit Bintang. We walked up to Bukit Bintang and bought nasi lemak from a road side stall, which I give credit, was very good in terms of taste, price and portion. We then walked back down and ate at a makeshift stall owned by some indian guy who seemed to focus on selling drinks. I asked my dad how come that it is not usually pay per arrival of drinks. My dad said that he had often come to this place ever since he was a kid and that the owner knew him. I was impressed. It was then I realized nothing much has changed in that area. It seemed as if time stood still.

I managed to catch up with my cousin Justin, who went to the same primary and secondary school as I. After a while my family went home and would return later in the evening for the memorial service.

My eldest aunty; my dad's eldest sister showed me off to her neighbours who came for the memorial. She used to look after me when I was a few years old. My parents were always busy working and doing their own stuff so they sent me to my aunty to be looked after.

* * * * *

Friday 11th - The Official Service(?)

My family went back to KL to my grandmother's house to get ready for the service. Chloe and Alex had arrived that morning; one day earlier than they had originally plan due to the unforseen circumstance. They were sleeping when I arrived. Shortly after,
Bee Lee arrived. He came straight from work but was at least a couple of hours too early for the service. He said he came early to avoid the jam. So we went to Little Havana, which was right beside my grandmother's house for a drink. We went with my sister. Bee Lee ordered a pitcher of beer. I had two glasses on an empty stomach. When I tried to get up, I felt dizzy and my vision was blurred for a short while. It was funny. Could I have been on my way to becoming drunk? After that I walked with Bee Lee to Bukit Bintang and ate KFC for dinner. I felt so much better after that. Never drink on an empty stomach!

The service soon started and my Young Adult members and friends showed up one by one. I was very touched and glad that they showed up. Furthermore members from my church came too. I hope my father would have been moved by their kind gesture.

One of my church members whom I was suppose to help with assembling computers for him came as well. As predicted, he actually had the "decency" to asked me if I had finished getting a quotation for him. I will leave it at that. I shall maintain my tolerance.

Literally all my relatives; aunties, uncles and cousins were there. I was quite happy that I got to have reunion with all of them.

* * * * *

Saturday 12th - The Funeral/Burial

Woke up early in the morning and went to KL again. We had a short funeral service. Towards the end of the service, the pastor was advertising about the various services held at his church. My cousin Justin and I were like... WTF!?

The entire family rode a rented school bus to the cemetery where my grandfather was buried. My grandmother was to be buried beside him.

The cemetery was somewhere in Sungai Besi. According to my father, that place used to be a chinese area until there was a military camp there and so it is... not a chinese area anymore. We had some difficulties getting there because inconsiderate bastards parked on the side of roads where they were not supposed to be parking.

When we arrived at the cemetery. I saw alot of tombstones which had pictures of the deceased on them all broken. Apparently the kids that lived nearby used as target practice for their slingshots. It was a chinese cemetery so obviously the kids were not chinese. As that area was inhabited by non-chinese. Excuse me a bit, I am being politically correct or safe here.

My father said that my grandfather's grave was very unique compared to others over there that he had followed the proper chinese style which I am assuming based from China. My grandfather was supposedly a very knowledgable person in Taoism and that people would often seek his advise on how to hold proper funerals.

After the burial, we went back to my grandmother's place for lunch. One of my aunties suggested another family dinner later that day. At this point of time I was kind of tired of traveling to KL so often eventhough I was not driving. So I told them I would not be able to make it and went for my church's music rehearsal instead.

* * * * *

Sunday was as usual. Church service and lunch after with my friends.

Bee Lee stopped by Comics Corner near Atria after lunch. All these years I never knew where the heck that Comics Corner was in the Atria area. Now I did. The keeper of the shop was a familiar face. Some old uncle whom used to visit my friend who was the keeper of Comics Corner at the Plaza Yow Chuan @ Ampang. That old uncle and an old aunty; whom keeps the Comics Corner at Subang Jaya use to visit my friend at Ampang every now and then. I know because I used to hang out over there quite often after my school hours. Which reminded me, that I should go visit my friend soon.

Later in the night, we had dinner with some of my aunties and my cousins Chloe & Alex (they're married couple; Alex is my cousin in law).

* * * * *

If you think that was it. No... we had another dinner yesterday night near my grandmother's place again with maybe two-third of the entire family. This time it was a farewell dinner for my eldest uncle; my dad's eldest brother who came from Perth, Australia.

* * * * *

I had lunch at One Utama with Shawn today to collect some fees from him. After lunch we went to arcade place thingy beside GSC.

I tried this beat game where you had to press buttons according to the timing of the scrolling bars on the screen. Like o2jam if you will. The freaking thing was in japanese. I accidentally chose hardest level and chose some song. The bars went by so fast and I did not even know what happened. Five seconds later, it was the game over screen. Hilarious!

It has indeed been a long few days for me. Today I am feeling so lazy. Even watching animes or playing games seem like hard work to me now. I will have to go to Low Yat tomorrow to get quotations for that church guy and also work on my curriculum vitae.

Studying days are over!
By the way there are more details during the whole funeral event but I am just too tired to type them all out.

Long Gloomy Day
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Hitomi Mieno - Dearest
I just came back from my grandmother's house. She got admitted into the hospital the day before. She passed away approximately at 6:30am this morning at University Hospital. That place is terrible. The staff all around the area were like busy chattering away, in their own little world and even laughing out loud. Don't they have the decency to shut the hell up in the hospital? Especially when there are serious situations happening all around.

A long while after, I finally got to go to my grandmother's house and wait for the whole process of dressing my grandmother's body up and putting it in the coffin and all that. I have currently returned home. It is 3pm now. I will have to return back to my grandmother's house in Kuala Lumpur later in the evening for some family gathering thing.

I am so tired.

It's Been A Hard Day's...
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Aqua - Be A Man
Well I woke up early this morning to accompany one of my church member to Low Yat to show him around the place, scouting for computer parts. He wants me to help him assemble three systems for him. Two for his office and one for his home.

Shortly after coming home, Enoch asked me to accompany him to the t-shirt shop where we're suppose to look at the sample t-shirt I had designed for my church's oncoming Young Adults and Youth camp. It looked so much better than I had expected it to be.

Shortly after coming home again, Bee Lee called me and asked if I wanted to go Low Yat again. I was like... **** No! I'm tired!

I currently only have a couple of hours to rest before I have to make my way to church to help Enoch supervise or oversee the Youth meeting, followed by rehearsal with the band for tomorrow's service. Although my weekends are always this hectic, I still love my weekends here in Malaysia.

To All Of You
Now Playing: All American Rejects - Dirty Little Secret
So... I'm back again within minutes after posting my previous... post. This is the time where I condemn and criticize other people merely because I dislike them for how they behave and act.

Let me stir some fecal matter up. I was at Afzal's blog where he had links of his other "friends" blogs. So I clicked on one of them whom I used to know and wished I never. Reading her blog, it seems that she has not changed much. The significant qualities anyway. I am amazed how people can go on living their lives with their pride thinking that they can continue living their lives the way they currently are and hope that everybody else would change their ways for them. The best part of it is they are aware of their flaws but yet they do not think it is a bad thing and yes people should learn to deal with it.

In a boat, if nobody wants to make the first move in rowing, nobody will get anywhere. People keep waiting on other people to make the first move. I think it is really stupid. Is it really that difficult in making the first move? Is it really difficult to set an example for others to follow? Is it really difficult to be the one who will lead others to the right way?

Family? Meh.
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Ishida Yoko - Shiawase no Iro
A series of shitty events happened these past few days.
First and foremost I would like to thank God for giving me some job opportunities. A fellow church member has asked me to help him get computers assembled and later also develope a website for his company. Although I find it a bit sudden and somewhat a chore, I am glad to be given opportunity to help out with those situations. Another friend of mine has an uncle who needs some stuff 'put together' for his website. Sounded simple but I do not trust those words and have yet to meet up with him.

Ever since I came back my mother has been giving implications for me to get a job as soon as possible and also start paying for things in the house. Yesterday I was just thinking about our family situation. Here I am being pressured to get a job and all that while my sister all her life has been doing whatever she wants to do and had my parents to support her. She has this job in the States where she told me she makes barely enough to survive on her own. This was when I asked if she could help support me while I was studying in Australia. Of course I am putting what she said in a filtered and nicer way and I cannot remember what exactly she said. Now I hear that she might think of stopping her job to do her masters and my mom is going to pay for that. Do I really need to give my commentary on this? When I said I wanted to do a masters, I got told to work and support myself for it.

I remember telling those people that asked me if I missed my parents while I was in Australia. I said no. I said I would miss my friends and the food more than anything. I was right. I was never close to my family members at all. They were always so involved in their own lives. The most they would ever want to do is just make sure we do not die from lack of things like food. I may sound dramatic to some of you but it is the truth. Those of you who know my real personality would know that I am speaking the truth.

Meanwhile I still have to write up a resume to hand out in hopes of getting a job that I would actually enjoy doing. Life sucks. There is no rest.

Oh and also I woke up today from a dream where I stabbed some guy in his throat with my house keys because he stole something from me and acted like an asshat. After waking up I went downstairs to see if there was breakfast for me and there was not. My mom was eating her own food and said "I thought you said you didn't need to eat one meal a day?".

So she assumes from my statement where I said I can go on everyday skipping a meal be it either breakfast or lunch; that I want to actually do it and that I wanted to skip breakfast on this particular day.

What a great way to start the day!
I am so not in the mood to do anything productive today.

The Reality of Being Home
Now Playing: Phantom Planet - California
So yeah... I'm back home in Malaysia for good! Praise God! Which means I have passed all of my subjects. I arrived back home yesterday morning at 6am. As usualy my regular flight number MH128 piloted by Captain Dato Mohammad Johan. I always take the night flight and apparently it is always piloted by this guy.

Well its great to be back home with my friends and family. Especially the food! I am sorry to say that I really do not miss the "excellent quality" of Malaysia's broadband. As I've mentioned before that they are biting off bigger than they can chew by accepting more applicants while not even being able to provide their currents customers with better quality.

I visited my grandmother today. She is of old age and is going through it's effects. So much has changed since the last time I saw her during Chinese New Year early this year. When I first saw her today and her current condition, I felt like a part of me just died. If I could cry, I would have at that moment. I felt a great sympathy for her. The disability of not being able to speak my mother tongue did not help make me feel better. Well I just hope that she has the will power to fight on but also I am hoping that she no longer has to suffer this ordeal. It was just painful for me to watch.

Well the sad story aside. Today in church a girl greeted me sort of welcoming me back from Australia. I was surprised in a delightful way because I never would have thought she would take initiative to approach me. I dare say that she has grown to be more beautiful and lovely. Which makes me fear for myself.

See Werld!
So I slept at around 2am this morning and woke up at 7am this morning. My aunt drove me to Sea World. She dropped me off there while she went to work nearby. Which meant that she would only pick me up after she finished work. Which meant that I had no choice but to be at Sea World for more than 7 hours. *Sigh*

I went to see everything except participate on the rides; rollercoasters, flumes and the like. The best parts of Sea World were their live shows involving dolphins and seals. They were so cute especially the seals. I have taken a lot of pictures which I will be uploading onto my team blog later when I get back to Melbourne.

Oh I forgot to mention that I am currently visiting my aunt in Brisbane for 7 days. Today is the 3rd day and so far it has been relaxing. Due to me not wanting to come out of the house to go here and there like she wanted me to hehe.

* * * * *

The things that I have done for my aunt today which I am glad that I did.
1. I managed to get her to use a more efficient emailing way.
2. Taught her how to use msn messenger.
3. Solve a problem, whereby enabling her to use a better set of speakers compared to her current ones.

No One To Blame But Yourself
Now Playing: Speaks are off. Housemate is using the washing machine which craps out my speakers.
I used to think that people who do bad things would always get away with it and live the good life, making other people miserable. I used to think that these people will always get what they want eventhough they do not deserve it.

I cannot remember if I have blogged it before but please forgive me if I seem to repeat myself. Back in high school I started going out with a girl and it all seem to go along, running its course and all. When my then best friend, Simon started his acts. He tried to break us apart and succeeded. He started off saying things to me like she was not attractive and alot of other bad things about her which I did not care about. I guess failing this, he then went on to her and told her things about me that may or may not have been true. They started going out behind my back but I already knew something was up. I decided to get them both to confess to me about it. Surely enough they did. Being the person I was, I just let things happen the way they were. I had no ill will on both of them for I thought to myself, if she left me for him, he probably was better of a boyfriend than I was. As time went by, their relationship went rough and as a caring friend I tried to help their relatioship whenever either of them talked to me about their problems. In this period of time I was able to see both of their true colors which made me feel glad that it happened the way it did for if Simon did not take her from me, I might have had to put up with what he went through with her. So in a way he screwed himself over. Later on one time, I do not know if it was to try to get to me, he told me he had sex with her. I was disappointed with what they did but hey it was not really any of my business anymore. What really made me upset was that knowing that he was cheating behind her back not with just one girl, but a few girls, one after another. Now this was none of my business at all so I left it at that. You would think a person who cheats behind his girl's back would try to keep a low profile of his activities so that no one will know. Well he was having a good time doing it in front of all our high school mates. One way or another it eventually got to her and she dumped him. As ironic as it was, he, Simon, was not hestitant to blame me for the whole incident. He blamed me for breaking them up, for telling her about him cheating on her. Right, so a person who had no grudges and the desire to help them out did all that? *Sigh* I would have love to receive credit for that, but I did not do anything.

I guess a person who has too much pride, who cannot accept his ego being shattered would always have to blame someone else. Preferably someone who would not retaliate, someone who he thought was weak. I guess that was me. I decided to confront him a long while after that whole incident wanting to discuss it and clear his accusations he had of me. So he agreed with stipulations of "no men, no weapons". I wondered what was that all about, but yeah I agreed. On the day of the meeting, guess what? He showed up with 3 of his friends waiting in the car and he was showing off his swiss army knife. I guess he was trying to intimidate me but it did not work. So he brought all his accusations out and I cleared all of them without effort because believe it or not, I was in fact innocent. When he could not find anymore things to accuse me with, one of his friends came out of the car and started to talk big with me claiming that they are members of a triad and to not mess with them. I really applaud their performance. However I have been studying human reactions and behaviours since I realized my existence and I did not buy their act. Neither of them could even look me in the eye when talking to me. So with a failed attempt, he left threatening me not to mess with him.

Of course this time around I did not leave it at that for I was really angry that he had the guts to arrange a meeting when breaking his own rules. I called up a few friends of my own who could have fixed him up for a price. Just incase he tried to mess with me again. He never did though. I heard from our friends that he was talking big about threatening me and all that.

* * * * *

Recently I heard from one of my best friends from high school that he was no longer friends with Simon as well. Apparently two years back while my friend was in Form 6, he met a girl and he liked the girl and wanted to ask her out. Sure enough Simon found out about this and also did the same thing he did to me; he told the girl nasty things about my friend which led to her rejecting him. Only a few days ago somehow my friend managed to clear things up with the girl and found about what Simon did. The good news is that my friend and the girl are finally together. The even better news according to my friend is that Simon's true colors have finally been noticed by the rest of our high school mates and apparently they are boycotting him. I do not know how much of these are true but I doubt that it was all made up.

I have always said that if he will not change his behaviour, he will lose more than just friends.

Ego and pride is a very dangerous thing to play with.
A good friendship takes a long while to be built and it built well, it will last a lifetime. However it is also very easy to be destroyed by treacherous acts. We should value our friends and treat them like real people. We should treat them how we would wish to be treated. In fact we should treat anyone the same way we would wish anyone to treat us.

We have nobody to blame for our failures but our ownselves. We make our own decisions. We control our own bodies.

A person who blame others is not strong enough to admit his own mistakes.

I'll watch you fall and laugh at you as you writhe in pain.
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Howie Day - She Says
I made porridge today. I am so proud of myself. Of course I had to call my dad and asked him the proper methods so that I would not screw up. It is surprising how I could usually manage to finish a cup of rice, steamed. However when it is made into porridge it seems that it can feed 3 or 4 people. Basically I made too much for myself. Hopefully my other housemates will help finish it.

* * * * *

In other news, once again my human imperfection caused me to actually care about people that would never ever give a rip about it or even want to heed my advise which would have been able to help them greatly in their situation. Even if they thought they knew best for themselves they could have at least say "Thank you for your concerns, however I think that I know better as to how to handle my situation". All I get is being shut off. My natural human reaction would be to beat the crap out of these kind of people for their ungrateful behaviour not to mention rude. However because of the fact that I am a christian, I not only have to restrain myself from doing such things, I have to not be angry and also forgive them.

I tell you the truth. I will be very entertained to see what happens to them.

These are the people whom I will feel even better walking past them when they are on the floor reaching out to anyone to help them up.