Stuff That Doesn't Exist, But Should
This section is for things that I believe should exist in life or society that do not exist right now. If you don't agree with what I have to say, well tough. I really don't care. What? You think this web site was made for YOU? NO! It was made for me, and you should feel priveledged to gaze at it's magnificence. So there.
National Execution Day
What is National Execution Day (or NED for short) you ask? Well, picture this: The prisons are overflowing with people. The psycho killers on death row are just sitting there for years and costing millions of dollars before their executions. This money could be saved and the condemned could be put to good use. How you ask? No not soilent greens silly. The solution is NED! Once a year, get all of the people who are sentenced to die in he entire country, and put them in one big arena (which is of course filmed by every major news station in the country). The killers are then forced to kill one last time as they fight with each other to the death. Spectators are encouraged to bring guns to fire at the contestants. The last 5% of the contestants that manage to survive, get to stay alive until next NED (unless of course they refused to kill during NED, at which point they are drawn and quartered). This would be both entertaining and would discourage murders to be as they see contestants shocked, shot, sliced, and crushed to death by both booby traps in the arena and other contestants.
BiBo's Top 10 Most Amazing Phobias
1. Anablephobia - Fear of looking up
2. Arachibutyrophobia - Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth
3. Chaetophobia - Fear of hair
4. Cypridophobia, Cypriphobia, Cyprianophobia, or Cyprinophobia - Fear of prostitutes or venereal disease
5. Dextrophobia - Fear of objects at the right side of the body
6. Euphobia - Fear of hearing good news
7. Hellenologophobia- Fear of Greek terms or complex scientific terminology
8. Leukophobia - Fear of the color white (sucks for you to be here)
9.Optophobia - Fear of opening one's eyes (suck for you to be reading this)
10. Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat (need I say anymore?)
GOD
Okay, there's all you people out there who are religious and believe in some deity, or deities that oversee everything. Make everything safe, or suck or whatever. Well, after watching a combination of Night Court and the election campaigns, I've decided that I am gonna run to be elected as your next God.
If elected, I plan to raise life expectancies, (except for stupid and mean people who will be instantly smitten) eliminate churches devoted to worshipping me (hey, you have better things to do than starving yourself or praying for my sake), and lower famine (by skipping out fasts). I also plan to show my power more often so that no doubt of my existence can be made. I will also tolerate all religions that don't worship me, as long as they aren't militant. Finally, Junkanoo Punch and/or Goombay Punch will be shipped everywhere. Remember, vote BiBo for your next God. It will be cool.
BiBo's List of People Who Are Cooler Than Him
1) Charise (she loves pepperoni that makes her #1)
2) Evan (he gave me pepperoni once, but never again, close but still second)
3) the population of japan
4) people who have hair a color that is not a natural human hair color (except stupid mike, he doesn't count as a person anymore)
5) anyone who owns handcuffs and isn't a cop or someone that's been arrested by one
6) the morning crew (well at least the 99-00 edition, I dunno how it is after that vintage)
7) people whose dice collection rivals or exceeds mine (not a hard accomplishment, but one that only true gamers would even think about)
If Life Were Like a MUD
I was playing Realms of Exile, and I was noticing some oddball things and I started to wonder what it must be like actually being those people, so I came up with this list.
1. People would shout out strange sayings for no apparent reason such as "stats" and "health".
2. People would not be able to tell the difference between a coffer or a mug of coffee.
3. People would accidentally take things out of the trash when they mean to take them out of their backpacks.
4. Half of the people in town would be either bleeding heavily, missing limbs, or both.
5. Bunnies would be feared by many.
6. People would forget that they were lying down and decide that crawling was definately the most efficient form of transport.
7. People would forget that they are holding things and grumble as they are forced to look at their hands to figure out what is in them.
8. Stray pieces of cloth would be infinite, and bleeding wounds would never heal themselves.
9. Due to free instant ressurection, suicide and murder would be completely pointless (though murder is still punishable by death).
10. All boxes would be locked and trapped, but none would have a key.
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