"Howie, I'm just thankful every day that you and Kevin and the other guys have been there for Laura over the past few months. She's really had a rough year, and now..." Lisa felt herself start to cry. "I just don't know what I'm going to do if I lose her, Howie. Tell me how to get through this." Lisa's eyes just screamed for someone to justify all that had happened in the past few days. Howie knew from losing his own sister what she was going through. Howie moved closer to her and hugged her tightly.
"Lisa, trust me, I know what you're going through. It's sad when someone so young and vibrant is taken from us. I'm so close to my family, and when my sister passed... well everything else that had ever troubled me just paled in comparison to losing her. It was so hard to go on but I did." Howie paused, realizing that he was sounding very negative, almost implying that Laura was going to die. "Well, I can't believe I'm talking like this, 'cuz Laura's gonna get through this. Just wait and see, she'll--"
"I want to believe that, I really do, it's just that I've got this feeling the end of her life is so close now..." Lisa sighed heavily. She was not only mentally and emotionally tired, but physically tired as well. All of them were. Especially she, the rest of her family, and Kevin. Kevin hadn't even left Laura's room for fearing that she'd wake up and he wouldn't be there to see it. "I'm trying to stay positive, but my parents are in with the doctors right now talking about Laura, and I'm just so afraid of what they're telling them. They've been in there much too long for it to be good news." Just then Lisa's attention was diverted as her parents walked into the lounge with three doctors. Everyone sat up and tried to focus on what the doctors and Laura's and Lisa's parents had to say.
"We were just told Laura's prognosis." Julie's voice was shaky. Bob just held her hand, unable to say a word. Julie continued, "We were given our options, and we thought of what Laura would want. We're--" Julie started to sob heavily, and Bob held her to console her. She got herself back together and finished. "We're going to take her off life support." She sobbed and fell into her husband's arms as they both started crying. Everyone cried and hugged each other too. Neither Julie nor Bob were able to continue so one of the doctors continued. His voice was very somber. "Bob and Julie have offered that you all can come into the room as we disconnect the machines. You all have been like a second family to Laura, and they feel that she would want all of you there to say goodbye... I'm--we're--all so sorry for your loss..." The doctor ran out of words. What do you say to a family and close friends that are about to lose someone they've come to love so deeply? He sighed as he and the 2 other doctors turned to walk away.
Howie hugged Lisa. "Lis, I'm so sorry, I--" Howie stopped because of his own tears. He didn't know Laura for long, but he knew she was a gentle spirit. Only the good die young, he thought to himself as he cried with and for Lisa and her family.
Brian had walked down from the lounge to Laura's room to talk to Kevin. His heart sank as he saw how drained and pale his cousin looked. Never had he seen him so motionless as he sit and stare at Laura, as if he expected her to wake up just because he wanted it so badly. Kevin must have known that Brian would be the first one in, not only to see Laura, but to see him as well. He spoke without even turning to look at Brian.
"I put the engagement ring on her finger. I bought it for her, it's hers... what am I going to do with it?" Kevin said, almost in a monotone voice. Brian could almost feel his pain himself, it was so evident. "Kevin, you need some fresh air. You need a decent meal. I'll stay with her and--"
"I'm not leaving her until there's nothing I can do for her anymore, and if that means until after she's gone, then so be it." Kevin's tone of voice didn't change. He didn't even turn to look at Brian yet. His eyes barely even blinked as he watched Laura so intensely. Brian pulled up a chair next to Kevin and sat down. He sighed as he looked at Laura also. "She really is a beautiful woman. I never really, really looked at her before. Her inner beauty also... just incredible."
"Inner beauty," Kevin echoed. Laura's inner beauty was why he loved her so much. She never failed to have a smile on her face, no matter what. Brian continued. "You've got to keep your head up, Kev. I know that's easier said then done, but you know Laura would have it no other way. She'll argue with you from heaven, you know..." Brian paused. His effort to try to crack even a half-smile from Kevin had failed. He prayed that God would give him the strength he needed to move on. He stood up, leaned over and kissed Laura's forehead, shedding a couple tears. Just as Brian turned to walk to the doorway passing Kevin, Kevin stopped him, grabbed his hand and just looked at his cousin. Brian leaned down and hugged him, and walked out of the room. Kevin sighed as he again turned all his focus and energy (what he had left, anyway) back to Laura.
It was now 6 o'clock in the evening. Laura's life support was turned off just a few short minutes before. Everyone was in the room, as was asked of them by Laura's parents. MTV was on the television, with the New Year's Eve celebration on. Not many of those in the room were paying attention to it though. Everyone did try, though, as much as possible, to look upon this as a blessing, rationalizing that if Laura were to live, that she'd have lasting problems related to the accident, probably sustaining some level of brain damage. They tried to chat and laugh and have a good time, just in case Laura was hearing and could see them on some level, that she was seeing them enjoy themselves. Laura would want it that way. Even Kevin left Laura's side for a few minutes (still staying in the room though) to eat a little something. Julie had brought a tray up for him, and just couldn't turn away her hospitality. At that moment, he realized just how much of her mother Laura had in her.
"Thank you, Julie. I really was starting to feel famished," Kevin said appreciatively. Julie smiled brightly at him. She seemed to be the only one who was genuinely at peace considering that within hours her daughter would be gone from her life on earth. "Kevin, you have brought so much happiness to my daughter, the very least I can do is feed you!" she said with a chuckle. Kevin managed to laugh a little even, and that surprised everyone in the room considering he had shown little emotion over the past 4 days... at least in front of anyone. Kevin saw where Laura got her sense of humor from. "Thanks, Julie," he said, hugging her, then adding, "You are definitely your daughter's mother! I needed that--to laugh, even if for a minute." Julie just smiled at Kevin. Her face was surprisingly calm and Kevin saw peace in her eyes, the same eyes he looked upon when he looked at Laura. He couldn't believe he would never see them again. Kevin began to cry when he realized this. Julie just smiled more, and spoke softly to him.
"Listen to me, Kevin. Don't do this to yourself. It will all be in vain. Laura wouldn't want you to cry over her. I know it's hard. I'm fighting it every minute. We need to celebrate her life, not just mourn her dying. Trust me, it's all in God's hands now. He's going to take good care of her, trust in that also." Julie kissed Kevin on the cheek and walked over to Bob's side. She and Bob walked back over by Laura, each kissing her and looking at her momentarily, and left the room. While Julie was being so strong, Bob was not. He couldn't be in there any longer knowing that any minute his little girl could die. Julie knew that her place was with her husband right now, and knew that her daughter would have understood that.
One by one, everyone started leaving the room, all paying their respects to Laura, hugging and kissing her before they left the room. Soon, the only ones that were left were Lisa, Kevin of course, and Howie. Lisa had asked Howie to see her through this, and he promised he would.
The Backstreet Boys' new video for Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely was being premiered on MTV right now. Kevin just cried as he watched himself on the screen--watching himself watch home videos of him and his father. He prayed that Laura would find his father in heaven, or vice versa, and they'd look out for each other. Then he thought of Nicole. This can't be happening again... it can't, he thought, not out of denial, but just out of pain. It was bad enough losing his father, but then losing Nicole the same year. And now losing Laura the same way he lost Nicole... it was getting to seem to him as if he was being denied happiness in his life. All he wanted to know was why? Kevin felt that he had very little to look forward to in the new century and millenium without Laura, without his father--without hope.
It was just minutes away from midnight now. Lisa was standing near the window now, ready to count down to the new year and watch the fireworks which they would be able to see from the window. Howie was standing behind her, his arms around her, comforting her. Laura's lifesigns were decreasing rapidly now, and now Kevin could no longer be at her side. The nurse was checking Laura's pulse as Kevin walked to the window as they heard everyone--inside and outside--begin the countdown to the new year.
The nurse was stunned as she checked Laura's blood pressure. It was more regular than it had been an hour before--something that was definitely not expected. The nurse ran out of the room to get a doctor to make sure she wasn't doing the reading wrong. "3... 2... 1!" was all you could hear. Kevin sighed as the new year came upon Milwaukee. He watched outside as he saw people on the street cheering and looked up to see fireworks of every color in the sky. Lisa and Howie hugged tightly as they welcomed in the new millenium. Just then everyone's attention was diverted by something they didn't expect to hear...
"Happy New Year, everybody." The voice was weak, but very familiar. Everyone, including Kevin turned to look. Laura's eyes were open and she was smiling as she added, "Happy Millenium!"
Kevin was so shocked, he passed out, falling to the floor.
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