What a momentous month April has been! I've cut so many negative things out of my life! So much bad crap has been happening lately, and I think I'm using the anger and resentment I have to do positive things for myself...and here's yet another positive thing...

I have made a life-altering decision. I don't know why I haven't thought of it before...it's so simple.

Basically, my whole life, at least since first grade, has been a huge cycle of dieting. I've had a touch of everything -- anorexia, bullimia, compulsive overreating, laxatives, excessive exercising, diet pills, counting calories and fat grams, smoking to combat hunger...and the list goes on. And last night it dawned on me...NONE of these things have had lasting results. Last night, after cheating on my diet and feeling guilty for probably the 2000th time in my life, I was browsing some nutrition websites, which were saying the slogan "Dieting doesn't work!" And though I've heard that a thousand times, it finally set in. I've dieted my whole life, and it hasn't worked. It's brought about a bunch of obsessive, negative feelings that have totally trapped me. So, I've decided that I'm never again going to starve myself or count calories. I'm never again "dieting." BUT, I am going to eat healthy and exercise, and I think my extra baggage will drop off in the long run...not over night, but in a healthy time period. I will no longer be a slave to calorie-counting, puking, starving, laxatives, bad self-image, and bathroom scales! I'm free...hallelujah!

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