Study break! I'm not going to spell check this after I'm done or read it over 2 times, as I usually do to my journal entries. Yesterday I met up with Tara at 5 o'clock to study. We started off studying in the library. I read her questions out of the study guide. Then I decided we should move our little shin-dig to Sitwells. I thought it would be better since I was hungry (and she ended up being hungry), and she could, then, smoke all she wanted. We ended up actually studying pretty well and not chit-chatting as much as I figured we would. I've never actually studied with a friend before and actually gotten anything out of it. Though I rarely get anything out of studying alone, either. How I've passed school all these years is really beyond me. I just want to say that I love Tara. I am entirely in love with her. Not in the romantic sense...I just feel all this positive energy between us. We click perfectly. I do that with so few people, so I'm truly cherishing this little friendship we've created. We talked about our lives, and we actually have a lot in common. We have the same morals and values. We both feel really strongly about abortion (not having one). Most of my friends are pretty pro-choice, so it was a nice change to have someone agree with me for once. She's so kind. She just radiates with warmth and joy and contentment. She's so unsure of herself, yet I see her as being nearly perfect...she's just so wonderful. So that's my little Tara tribute. I ran into John at Sitwells. Not bad-date John but Angelina's John. I forgot he works there. It was good to see him. I don't feel quite as odd when I see him anymore. Maybe the strange infatuation is almost over, thank God.

I've been trying to defragment my hard drive for the past 2 days, and it didn't even work. It stayed at 10% and didn't really move. Maybe I'll try again later when I have enough willpower to just let it go and not have to check on it every 2 seconds. I probably messed it up by doing this. The reason I'm trying to defragment is because my CD burner isn't working. I'm so displeased. Nothing of the technological sense that I ever purchase ever ends up working. Oh, everything I touch I break...Stabbing Westward.

Today I woke up at 6 (I think because my mom still hasn't figured out how to shut off her new alarm, so it rang for like 10 minutes)...studied for math. Math final wasn't too bad. Didn't see Andrew...probably good. My throat hurts so badly. I'm so exhausted. I've taken so many Tylenols and cold pills and Halls cough drops the past few days. I've been living on Diet Pepsi and junk food. I took a nap today, but it just made me feel worse. I decided to call every single person I know in an attempt to not study, but no one was home. Gheesh. Well some people were, actually. Jonathan (he's not JOHN...my mistake...I called his place, asked for "John," and was told I had the wrong number...then I called his cell, and we cleared it up. I guess NO ONE calls him John.)...he had to call me back. When he did, he was in the car on his way to Alex and John's house. He said, "Yeah, I'm going to tell John..." and I didn't hear what he said, so I made him repeat it. He said, "I'm going to tell John you tasted really good." He said it with a laugh, so I knew he was joking, but still...it's a big annoying when some guy who looks about as boring as like...Doogie Howser(sp?) whips out all these snide sexual remarks. I was like, "He probably won't believe you. He knows I'm not like that" (even though he probably doesn't). He actually called our night out a "date," which word we haven't actually used until now. I said, "I didn't really know if it was a date or not." Then he was all like, "Oh, yeah, I just assumed we were just hanging out." (Bullocks!) And I think he was trying to hint at how I felt about the "date." I just blurted out, "I don't really think we have a romantic spark," to which he responded with a few seconds of silence, so I said, "Do you?" He asked me what I meant by that, as though it was this hugely metaphorical statement that needed explaining...and I pretty much just repeated myself again, like, "Well, I don't know. I just am not sure I really felt anything romantic for you." He finally stammered , "I guess I would have to agree with you there" but added after we'd already changed the subject...totally off topic..."You never know, though. We may be sitting there by each other one day, and I may be thinking, 'Yeah, she looks pretty good,' and you may be thinking, 'Yeah, he looks pretty good,' and then you never know." I knew what he was getting at, but I wanted him to explain, so I asked him, "What do you mean?" He said, "Well, I mean, feelings can change. You never know how we'll feel in the future." I kind of hate when people say this. It's almost as though they can't take "No" for an answer. Henry always said that to me even though I said to him, "We will NEVER be together." So I was forced to say, "Yeah, you never know what will happen in the future" to Jonathan. He said that he thought our date went well...and while it didn't go BADLY, I wouldn't say it went well. I just don't understand where he's coming from. Sigh. Oh, I remember something else. After he said he was gonna tell John that sexual stuff happened between us, I was like, "Yeah, you put ALL the moves on me" jokingly. And he said, "That's actually my plan" and tried to say that he doesn't try anything because that gets the women, or something. Who does he think he is, a player? Oh Jonathan, I am still intrigued by you, but now I am intrigued by your futile attempt at saving face on the phone tonight. Sigh. The male species...the male species.

Okay, I'm gonna wrap this up. Later.