Happy A-Month-'Til-My-Birthday to me! I want bunches and bunches of hugs and Jann Arden CDs for my birthday. = )

I was listening to the Howard Stern show while I was in the shower this morning, and John Popper (the fat Blues Traveler dude) was on. Apparently, he lost tons of weight and is at like 230 now...but he lost it through various surgeries, one of which was stomach-stapling. Okay, on my little "soapbox" section of my site, where I talk about a lot of stuff I'm way for or way against...I should add cosmetic surgery. I'm WAY against cosmetic surgery. Not only does it contribute to society's idea of beauty, that idea that only 2% of the population can ALMOST live up to, leaving the other 98% feeling completely and utterly ugly and worthless...but it also makes us unappreciative of what God gave us...our small boobies or big boobies or huge noses or especially curvaceous asses...we start playing God, trying to change these things...totally look different than God intended for us to look...and, in the long run, possibly lose part of our character. I think the Dirty Dancing chick lost a lot of character now that she's gotten her nose done. She was way cuter before. Now she just looks too...perfect. Anyway, I always over-analyze things that probably aren't that big of a deal. I doubt I'll ever be a skinny girl, but if I ever am, it's gonna be because I exercised my ass off...literally.

This week has been pretty good. My life always has two sides...kind of like Mini-Wheats...you know, the frosted and the unfrosted. So one side of my life is actually what's going on in it, like the social sphere. That part of my life has rocked this week. I've been hanging out with my friends since they're done with college for the summer. (I'm not. Grr.) And I've just been realizing how wonderful my friends are. I've never felt (yay, Freaks and Geeks is on!) so...unlonely before, friendship-wise, that is. And it's cool because I have like...maybe 4 or 5 different friend groups. And I connect with them all in different ways. The Van are my friends I can turn to in just about any crisis, and they'll just listen to me and not judge me. And then there's Angelina, who's in a category all her own. Of all the people in the world I've met, I think I'm the most on the same page as her...we think about things the exact same way. I think we have one main difference between us. She has a wild, unafraid-of-doing-things-alone side, which I don't really have. And I have a depressed, artistic, poet side, which I think she has to some extent, but more in a way that she admires it in other people so intensely that it becomes a part of her. I do that, too, but I can also find it in myself and, thus, turn it into my own art. I don't know if that made any sense. It did to me, though, and I guess that's all that matters since this is my journal...~sticks tongue out~. Anyway, for a long time, I thought every single person in the world had just one soulmate...that romantic companion we're destined to spend forever with. Then I decided that I think every person has a number of people with whom he or she would be content. Now I'm kind of not sure. But I do definitely think that we, as humans, have a number of friendship soulmates. And Angelina is definitely a friendship soulmate of mine. I've thought a bunch of other people were in the past, but they've ended up pooping on me, so I'm guessing they weren't afterall. But I can't see Angelina pooping on me anytime soon. I am having extreme doubts at the moment that there is a human being in the world who is A MAN and who is STRAIGHT who could be my romantic soulmate. Maybe I'm seriously destined to be full-blown gay. I guess I'll find out eventually. Nothing against guys or anything, because I really have connected in a nice way with many of them, but I really just don't see any of them being even remotely in the same sphere as me and, thus, I don't know if I could spend the next 60 years with one. Sometimes I feel like I'm some sort of misfit who just cannot connect with people easily enough. Anyway, I'd like some bread with my whine.

Oh yeah, back to friends...Lindsey...Lindsey and I are so incredibly nothing alike in the least, but I have SO much fun with her. And we always put our differences aside and just end up having a great time and always adoring and supporting one another. And then I have my Warehouse friends, who aren't really close friends of mine at all, but I just feel so free when I'm with them...it's an opportunity to escape reality for three hours a week. There are more friends I could speak of, but I'll stop for the moment.

So I'm going to pout some more over the fact that Our Lady Peace is playing at Bogarts in 2 days, and I'd give my left nipple to see them...yet don't really have any one with whom to see them. I love my friends, but it kind of sucks that maybe 2% of them like the same music as me. Angelina offered to go with me, but I really don't think it would be that nice of me to drag her to a $15 concert of a band she's never even heard.

Random thought --> I miss Jen and Liz.

Wow, I was supposed to start typing my abortion paper like three hours ago. I shall start that now.

Oh, wait, I got off track. So, as I was saying, my life has a frosted side and non-frosted side, to keep with the cereal metaphor. So I am digging the events in my life right now. My social life is cool. My grades are rocking. And school is almost out, which is something for which to look forward. (Okay, I'm trying to do good grammar in this journal entry, and I think it sounds like crap.) Make that..."And school is almost out, which is something to look forward to." = ) (Hugs is on my lap, meowing at me like, "You wench, play with me and quit typing, you selfish biotch.") But the unfrosted side is the other side of my life, which encompases how I feel about myself and how I control those feelings and my weaknesses. In terms of that side, I feel kind of out of control at the moment, which makes for a wee bit of depression...nothing bad, though, since my cool social life is evening things out. I hate the fact that I've eaten crappy, been a caffeine addict, and exercised so little this week. BUT, I do suppose I can get that willpower and ambition back. And then both the frosted and unfrosted side will be all good.

Today I was in Borders, just browsing. If I had no conscience telling me, "Sitting in book stores for 5 hours a day is a waste of precious time," I think I'd seriously LIVE at Borders. So I was looking at an Angelina Jolie book. I'd always thought she was attractive, but I'd never had that animalistic "Let me throw that broad to the floor" impulse that so many people tend to have. But today...good Lord...I don't know what was up. I hate feeling an intense longing for something you know you can never have and don't even know if you'd want if you COULD have it. Do I really want to get with a chick who's skanky? She's too wild for me. I like wholesome folks.

Ahh, abortion-paper-writing-procrastination! Ooh, I am talking to Liz on IM now. Okay, will stop journal writing...will keep talking to Liz, though. = ) But WILL start abortion paper. Won't watch Freaks and Geeks. But WILL keep it on as background noise...and maybe listen a little. ; ) Ahh, I am going to go dancing tonight now. There goes getting any work done. Oh well.

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