So I am in such a biznasty mood! And I have been a hardcore bitch at work lately. I can't decide if I'm in that "work rut" people talk about or what. I just have NO patience anymore. Well, I should clarify. My lack of patience extends to two groups that come into JCM: children and perverted guys...but children and perverted guys account for like 70 percent of our customers. So I guess I'm screwed...I don't know. Anyway, so here is the routine with the children and perverted men. Children come in and do one or more of the following things:

1.) Ask me for money.
2.) Throw 70 loose pennies on the counter to spend, pennies that are usually sticky or dirty because the children have found them on the ground.
3.) Scream "HEY YOU!" when I have a huge line of customers.
4.) Ask me things such as "Are you alternative?" "Are you gothic?" "Are you a freak?"
5.) Spend 15 minutes deciding how they want to spend their five cents.
6.) Come in with rollerblades on and run into racks, knocking stuff over.
7.) " " riding a scooter and run " " " " ".
8.) Ask "Do you have any glitter with you today?" and proceed to borrow my glitter but spill it all over the counter and merely giggle instead of apologizing. Glitter is expensive! (Okay, only two girls in particular do this.)
9.) Ask the price of every piece of candy we have in the store, despite that the price is on the top of the container.
10.) Brag about how they like to get drunk, despite that they're like 9.
11.) " " " " " " " high, " " " " ".
12.) Brag about their probation officer.
13.) Brag about their court date.
14.) Ding the bell that I ding whenever I need something from one of the guys in the back...and then one of the guys in the back looks at me like, "What would you like?" and I have to be all bitchy like, "It was a damned kid ringing the bell. I'm sorry."
15.) Come in soaking wet to show me their new bathing suit.
16.) Come in with their dog, which runs around the store, and they scream at their younger siblings, "Get the dog!"
17.) Buy a bottle of rootbeer, get a teensy bag to wrap it in, and stumble out of the store, pretending to be an alcoholic.
18.) Try to buy stuff with play money.
19.) Attempt to buy cigarettes, though they're so very obviously underage. Then say, "You're not even old enough to work here! What are you, like 17? If you were cool, you'd let me buy them. I won't tell anyone." (Etc. Etc. Etc.)

Um...I think that's it for the kids. Now we go to the perverted men:

1.) Stare at my boobs.
2.) Ask me to marry them. Then I say "You're married already." Then they say, "We don't have to tell her."
3.) When I ask if they'd like a bag, they reply, "I have one at home."
4.) Grab me.
5.) Say "Why aren't you wearing that dress you had on yesterday?"
6.) Ask to take me out for a drink, despite that I'm underage and don't even drink.
7.) Ask if I have a boyfriend. And when I say, "No," say "Want one?"

Okay, I could go on more, but it would merely amount to my typing cheap pick-up lines, which no one wants to read.
Oh, and I have one more rant...and then I shall be my tranquil self again.
Okay, so what is up with guys and steaks?! They come up, carrying pounds and pounds of ribeyes, sirloins, and the like...slam them on the counter, get this goofy grin on their face, as though they've just completed a huge drug deal or else had really good sex, and then they get this incredibly grumbly voice, like a bunch of Italian dudes playing poker and smoking cigars, and they say, "We're going to throw these babies on the grill!" It's like they get a paternal instinct over these steaks...yet are going to drown them in A1 sauce, inhale them in humongous bites, barely chew them, swallow, and sit around later, drinking their cheap beer and rubbing their bellies...and talking about sports or something. They take pride in these steaks they purchase. If they buy chicken breasts or something else, this pride isn't there. It's only steaks. Women, on the other hand, are not like this. They purchase steaks in the same manner they purchase any other item in the store. (Ooh, except chocolate. Chocolate gives women a pleasure men just can't bring us.)

Anyway, I'm about to chat with a soulmate, so I must end this.

Oh yeah, people have often called me "The friendliest girl ever." You'd never know, would you...hehe.

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