There really aren't enough hours in the day and days in the week to do all I want to do. I have so many people I want to be spending so much more time with. But there's just not time. I have so many wonderful friends. I cannot WAIT to be living with Jessica and Zach...to be able to freely spend so much time with them will be absolutely wonderful. And I just spent an hour on the phone with Lindsey, whom I don't see nearly enough of, especially since we pretty much stopped exercising in the mornings. We've really become good friends this year. And there's Melanie and Corey...whom I just feel at home with. I realized how at home I feel with them this weekend. It's a certain safety I don't really feel with anyone else. I was realizing it when Corey was just driving us places...places I had no idea how to get to...but I just go where he takes us and don't have to think or worry about anything, and I just know I'll have fun. I just like being able to depend on people sometimes. I have a dominant personality about some things...but I really think I just want to be taken care of sometimes. And now Kim's back into the picture...we're hanging out tomorrow, and I haven't seen her in like 6 months, seriously. And I must say that I really love my job...it gives me immense joy...I just love people. I'm truly happy. There are a few ghosts in my closet that pop up, generally when I'm alone at home (or in really funky-ass dreams)...but I can usually get my mind off things through music, TV, or talking on the phone.

I just got off the phone with my sister, Rose. We bonded over our issues with mom. I love Rose, and I love bonding with her, as it doesn't happen overly often. And I hate saying negative things about people...but I feel like she only bonds with me over things that affect her. I've come to her before with things about my life that are really important to me, and she overlooks them. I really, really don't think she does it consciously. And I accept her the way she is...she is the absolute best person she can be. We have SO many things in common, so I can almost always see where she's coming from. So I think that's why I don't take her personality as personally as I should. (That was a play on words, kinda.) But, yeah...it's nice when she and I can touch base, on occasion. I will admit that I slightly envy the close relationship she has with Ruthie.

Blah, someone tell me once and for all how to lose weight. Then I will have to stop bogging my journal down with comments about it. The past few days I've been eating "normally" and just writing down everything I've eaten...so that I've not been on a diet, per se, but have been accountable for things I'm putting into my body. And I've been exercising like crazy. But I just can't seem to find a happy medium to my eating. Today I ate just about everything under the sun, something I thought I only did as a result of starving days prior...but I HAVEN'T been starving the past few days and STILL binged, so I have no idea. I swear, I should get that gastric bypass surgery thing. The second I start feeling comfortable with my body the way it is, someone says something that knocks me back a few steps.

I am so sunburnt. It's because I have successfully avoided the sun for two years in a row...haven't had a sunburn in *2* years...have basked in 45 SPF sunscreen. Today I didn't have on sunscreen and took some of the residents to a parade. My forearms are BRIGHT red. They match the shirt I have on. I'm such a traitor to my "pale skin is cool; I won't get skin cancer" cause. Sigh.

There's this guy I talk to online. I don't know why I keep talking to him. I really think he's mentally insane. He thinks he knows me. And I very much might know him, as I think I've seen him in Cincinnati clubs before. He will know exactly what I had on on a particular night dancing...or else he's making really good guesses. I noticed him dancing one night at Vertigo because he was dancing very intensely...and I always notice people who dance that way. And I really thought he was in his own little world. But now he's telling me that he wanted to walk up to me but that he thought I was "out of his league." Sometimes I wonder how I appear to other people. Sometimes you may think you look a certain way but may be unconsciously putting out a completely different vibe. I don't know. Why am I still talking to this guy? He's seriously crazy, I think. But, hell, would he be interesting if he wasn't?

I'm so sunburnt. AGH. Already said this.

4...count them...4 more days of school. Hallelujah. I will be writing my Women's Studies teacher an e-mail of gratification this summer, after grades have been turned in. Don't want her to think I'm sucking up. But I also think people need to know when they've touched your life. So I will tell her AFTER grades have been turned in. Then she will come over and decide she's not moving to Washington afterall and will marry me. I seriously want this woman. I don't know if I could deal with how opinionated she is, though.

Oh well...there's really nothing more to say. I'm just talking to be talking.