Sigh...John just called me (guy from party). We talked for like an hour and a half. It was actually a pretty nice conversation. He's REALLY, REALLY intelligent...and easy to talk to and charming and witty and the list goes on. I think that dating him wouldn't be a bad idea. He gave me his number, so I might call him later this week. Maybe we can go out next weekend or something, except that I think I have plans all next weekend, stupid stuff like babysitting (little Nicholas who said he wanted to set me on fire...fun times). He and I see things the same way. He words life philosophies in exactly the same fucked-up wordings I use! It was actually creepy...like I'd wondered if he's happened upon my webpage before and memorized it or something. The whole horniness factor he has is slightly bugging me. But I'm trying to stop my habit of making a list of guys' bad qualities and then giving them the heave-ho before I even give them a chance. Even if this guy isn't my future husband, he can be "Mr. Right Now," as people say. Live for the moment.

Keeping on the boy theme, I talked to this guy at the Warehouse named Jeff for like 45 minutes last night! We hadn't ever really had an in-depth conversation before. We'd just always hugged and small-talked. But we really talked a lot last night. He seemed particularly needy, like "I need someone to talk to"-esque. He's a genuinely nice person, and it's a rare event to meet a genuinely nice person nowadays. (Mother is making me hold her tuna, and I'm about to gag.) I love really connecting to people, and we really connected. And he said a lot of nice things about me that made me feel good about myself. And I tried to do the same to him, but I have a real problem telling people how I really feel for fear of having to realize my own insecurities in the process. But, thanks to Jeff and various other kind people I've come into contact with recently, I am going to stop worrying so much about looking stupid and people thinking, "This looney chick likes me." I am going to tell people positive things I think about them, dammit. It's going to rule...I hope.

On another note, I must say Ew. For, after talking to a friend, I realized stuff about myself I need to change. Yucky, yucky, yucky, I have a lot of self-examination to do. I don't think I've found myself yet. I thought I did, but I didn't. I feel like Rachel off the Real World...except without being emo.

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