--- Selected LOG entries
--- Version 1.4

    TER.TXT

    Copyright 1999, 2000
    Terry Washington aka Phoenixx
    1048 W Winona 3E
    Chicago IL 60640-3125
    773-561-0737
    HTTP://members.tripod.com/~mdars/experiences/ter.htm
    HTTP://www.angelfire.com/journal/archer/index.html
    phoenixx100@hotmail.com

    This file was last updated on Thursday, July 13th, 2000 at 3:03am.

    I am a freelance computer programmer, artist and writer.  I have been
    continually victimized by psychotronic technology for at least the 
    past four years.  I suspect that rogue factions within various 
    domestic and foreign intelligence agencies, operating through certain 
    criminal organizations, are largely responsible for my sufferings.  
    Psychotronic technology, and the individuals and organizations that 
    are abusing it, must be stopped, or we may very well wind up losing 
    this nation, due to the spiritual consequences of what has been 
    happening.  I cannot put too fine a point on it.

    What has been happening, regarding the use of this technology, is very 
    much so equivalent to the prophesied 'Mark of the Beast,' and 'Mystery 
    Babylon, Mother of Harlots' described in the New Testament Book of 
    Revelation.  Check it out; certain factions of the wicked people that 
    have been using this evil technology appear to be very Satanic 
    individuals, that are attempting to manifest an antichrist, false 
    prophet, or other similarly nefarious character.  No joke.  It very 
    much so seems to have been a big part of their wishes for me, in my 
    particular psychotronic harassment situation.  They are sickening 
    specimens, who will likely rot in hell for all eternity.  I certainly 
    believe that they belong there.  But that's just my opinion.  Only the 
    Lord knows for sure what will become of the base fiends that 
    perpetrate such intensely sinister practices and systems.  I am not 
    their judge.

    There are a great many details that I could provide about my 
    particular set of experiences, that quite possibly would lead many 
    people to agree with me, concerning my belief that I have been 
    victimized by some sort of mind-control cult, or other, similar type 
    of organization, that is utilizing occultic and/or psychotronic 
    methods to attempt to manipulate and alter the psychological, 
    spiritual and physical constitution of their selected victims.

    Really, many of the details of my story are very similar to what I 
    have recently learned others have been enduring, so there isn't much 
    need for me to describe some aspects of what has happened to me - 
    there appear to be many commonalties, concerning stories of people 
    that have been persecuted by the individuals and organizations that 
    are the perpetrators of the psychotronic offenses and atrocities that 
    have been occurring in America, and elsewhere throughout the world.

    I cannot relate every last bit of information about my particular 
    tale, because I haven't yet compiled an exhaustive account of exactly 
    what I have experienced.  The full story of my strange 
    psycho-spiritual odyssey would make a fairly interesting book, I 
    believe, and I am hoping to eventually make contact with a reputable 
    literary agent, that will be willing to help me with such an 
    undertaking, as I am completely unaware of the ins and outs of the 
    publishing industry, and need the assistance of an honest person that 
    does.

    I have suffered greatly over the past four or five years, because of 
    the misfortune of being led into a 'fraternal' trap, in July of 1995, 
    by a couple of complete strangers that I decided to trust, because 
    they mentioned being acquainted with people that were friends of mine.  
    They invited me to their home for drinks.  I won't identify the 
    people, not because of any desire to protect them, but because I am 
    sure that the local authorities already know exactly who they are, and 
    for some reason, seem to be protecting them from prosecution.  It took 
    me almost six entire months to finally come to the realization that I 
    had been slipped some kind of powerful sedative, and subsequently 
    manipulated by occultic techniques and/or psychotronic technology.

    The rage and frustration that I have felt has been immense.  To my 
    dismay, many people seem to know more details of whatever happened to 
    me 'while I was sleeping,' than perhaps I ever will.  Although plenty 
    of folks appear to be aware of this unrighteous series of occurrences 
    that I have been dealing with, nobody has come forth to help me with 
    this terrible situation.  Some of the local Chicago police have 
    literally laughed at me, when I tried to ask them about what I should 
    do to seek any redress.  Another horrible thing to contemplate, is 
    that one of the people (a woman) that co-perpetrated this injustice 
    against me, is actually involved in the judicial system.  Not only is 
    this deeply sad to me, but maddening.  What the hell is wrong with the 
    United States?

    Below, I have provided a selection of entries from my personal 
    journal, which may provide a bit of insight into my perspective re the 
    strange cultic activities that have been taking place in the United 
    States over the past few decades.  I believe that the goal of the 
    practitioners of such darkness, is the manifestation of a temporary 
    Satanic 'paradise' in this current Earth age - at the expense, of 
    course, of those of us that love and fear Almighty God.

    selected.txt
    selected LOG files

--- exorcise.log
    None of the wicked shall understand
    Fri Feb 26 1999

    Things have been so incredibly odd over the course of the past few 
    years.  There are many different reasons why I stopped keeping LOG 
    files.

    One of the most easily explainable reasons, is that I have been 
    extremely angered by the fact that I am being monitored by some kind 
    of agency.  Probably several.  It's really infuriating, because 
    whoever they are, they seem to have absolutely no qualms whatsoever 
    about violating my privacy.  It wouldn't be so bad if it was just one 
    or more of our intelligence communities; even though I wouldn't feel 
    too great about that either (because they are filled up with some very 
    mentally and spiritually unhealthy individuals); no, it appears to be 
    some combination of governmental and private sector espionage forces.  
    Extremely aggravating.

    Especially considering the fact that the jerks seem to be the ones 
    that are pushing the 'Mystery Babylon' paradigm.  It is just beyond my 
    comprehension how people can be provided with so much insight into 
    their general lack of morality and righteous ethical conduct, and 
    still remain largely unmoved.  I guess it's because the many different 
    components that make up the bigger picture of what's wrong with the 
    people that I have been aiming my criticism at have been at play for a 
    very long period of time.  Only recently have those many elements 
    begun to cooperatively conspire to create the very dark dilemma that I 
    believe our nation is in.

    Basically, the problem that we (and many other nations throughout the 
    course of history that have found themselves in similar predicaments - 
    these bad social trends are certainly not new, but nowadays, there are 
    far more serious spiritual dynamics involved) have is a whole raft of 
    issues related to the practice of various types of occultism and the 
    primary result of such activities, which, of course, is demonic 
    possession.

    Probably the greatest difficulty to surmount is the general denial 
    that our cultures are in regarding the reality of disincarnate 
    entities, even after scads of people appear to have had many different 
    kinds of experiences confirming the reality of their existence.  I 
    think that I know how to help the situation, but the aforementioned 
    individuals that have been snooping on me, and the people that have 
    caused the many problems that I have suffered over the past few years, 
    seem to be largely demonically occupied, and consequently, can't be 
    looked to for any kind of significant help with the situation.  I have 
    met the enemy, and he is us...

    I should have never trusted [NAME DELETED].

    An issue which desperately needs clarification, I believe, is the 
    relationship between what are commonly referred to as 'demons' or 
    'devils,' and the other, higher-level evil intelligences.  The higher 
    level evil spirits are the one-third of the angelic forces that went 
    along with Satan, after he decided to rebel against the Lord.  They 
    are the 'fallen angels.'  Many people think that the demons are the 
    fallen angels.  That may be true in certain instances, but generally 
    speaking, I believe that the demons are the 'children of 
    disobedience,' that is, the illegal progeny that resulted from the 
    disobedient angelic forces cohabiting with the antediluvian women of 
    the earth.

    One thing that is very hard to grasp, is that those spirits (the 
    demons) have been roaming the earth subsequent to the inundation, 
    whilst their progenitors in the heavens have been occupied elsewhere.  
    Doing what?  I don't know, exactly, but I have received clues, 
    possibly.  Ephesians does inform us that there is spiritual wickedness 
    in the heavens.  That the Kingdom of God suffereth violence, and the 
    violent take it by force, and all.  The Lord's Word also lets us know 
    that His enemies ultimately lose their wars against Him.  Thankfully.

    We are also told that after a certain point in the end-time events (in 
    the book of Revelation), Satan and his angels get sent from the 
    heavens to the Earth.  They are designated as the one-third of the 
    'stars of heaven' that get cast down by the tail of the Dragon.  I 
    believe that event has already happened; within recent history, more 
    likely than not.  Probably in this century.  It sure makes a lot of 
    sense to me, after all of the bizarre things that I have been 
    perceiving.  A veritable cornucopia of strangeness.  A regular 
    blizzard of weird phenomena.

    I really do believe that I am supposed to be trying to alert these 
    dummies to some serious issues, but many different things have made it 
    very difficult for me to do so.  Now, more so than ever before, we are 
    dealing with a 'generation of vipers.'  It is so sad, because you'd 
    like to believe that humans would have stronger character than what 
    generally is being exhibited.  Looks like 'hot monkey love' all the 
    live-long day to me.  Disgusting.

    After all of the confusion that I have endured, I am ready to go 
    crawdad fishin' for the rest of my visit here.  Unless the Lord wants 
    me to pick up any of the points that I have been constantly dwelling 
    on, I pretty much plan on giving up, because there really is very 
    little (spiritually) intelligent life down here, and I currently am of 
    the opinion that I truly have been wasting my time.  My attempts to 
    get the people to give real hard thought to what has been happening 
    (ala the 'traditions,' and what they have been 'progressing' towards) 
    seems to have largely fallen on deaf ears.  Childish irony and sarcasm 
    is what the collegiates desire, as usual.  Stink and funk is what they 
    want a whiff of.  It's what they love.  Nothing else gets their 
    attention.  Everyone seems to fancy themselves to be back in their 
    dance hall days, or something.  I don't know.

    Another funny thing, is that during the course of all of the madness 
    that I have been sailing through over the past few years, I have 
    perceived that at least a few other people seem to have had what I 
    have decided to call 'the arena experience.'  More than a few, likely.  
    I can't lie, and say that I fully understand all of the greater 
    meanings of what I know to be a very legitimate experience, but I do 
    believe that if I were able to more successfully convey the gist of it 
    to the masses, that a spirit of hopefulness would begin to prevail.

    As sure as I am of this, I have determined to wait on God for the 
    'green light,' because I know that even if I had all of my facts 
    completely straight, it would be useless to proceed without the Lord 
    backing me up.  I have also considered that He might want me to do 
    something else.  I'm sure that I will know fairly soon, just what my 
    purpose here will be.  Trying to determine it on my own has been very 
    exhausting.  I believe that God knows that my intentions truly are 
    good.  I can fully understand why people would be suspicious of me.  
    Better than anyone else, actually.  I have been internally questioning 
    and correcting myself constantly.  It is very difficult to undo the 
    effects of bad social programming experiences.

    It's really pathetic how many people have been nearly entirely taken 
    over by those evil spirits.  I have had many, many problems with them 
    myself over the course of my life, so I feel somewhat sympathetic 
    towards the slouches that they are inhabiting, but now is the time for 
    our leadership structures to embrace utter spiritual and physical 
    sobriety, and I have nearly driven myself stark raving mad trying to 
    get the fools that are perpetuating those evil 'traditions' to realize 
    that.  I know that humor is important in any culture, but past a 
    certain point levity morphs into leviathan.  Zoinks.

    Yes, the juggernaut of maleficent mirth that has been on the increase 
    over the past decade is definitely deeply wicked.  The Lord warned us 
    that these times would be evil, but I didn't expect such stark horror.  
    People are really sick in the head in this realm.

    The concept of poisoning and violating our own citizenry doesn't 
    bother them.  Murder doesn't faze them.  A lot of them are pedophiles, 
    I bet, because child molestation doesn't make them blink either.  What 
    irritates me most of all, is that so many of them actually have the 
    nerve to think of themselves as Christians.  I just bet.  What a sack 
    of hypocrites.  I mean, it's not like I am not a sinner; it's not like 
    I'm standing in judgment alone against everyone else - but come on...

    These people have caused more havoc and misery in my life than I would 
    have ever believed possible, prior to this series of insane 
    eventuations.  Another unsavory aspect of the situation, is that there 
    appears to be a contingency of very high-level 'authority' at play.  
    People with too much power, that seem to be trying to 'play god.'  
    Sickening.

    The assholes excuse themselves for their transgressions, and pile 
    misery on people such as myself, for virtually nothing at all.  I am 
    so happy that the Lord is righteous, because there is no one here that 
    is, as best as I can tell.

    Without a doubt, there is a very bad feeling in the air.  Some days it 
    seems to dissipate; on others it's bigger and badder than ever.

    I have had some extremely extraordinary dreams over the past few 
    years.  A few of them have been of the sort where it is almost as if 
    there is some kind of advanced symbiotic technology at play, where 
    images are projected directly into your brain.  There have been times 
    where they have been so peculiarly vivid, that in the brief (usually) 
    state between sleeping and waking, I have noticed them still 
    'running,' which lends credence to my theory that there may be a 
    degree of external mental/spiritual manipulation involved in some of 
    these experiences that I've been having.  Whether or not that 
    manipulation is being attempted by evil angelics, demonics or by puny 
    humans, I still can't say for sure, but it definitely appears to be 
    there.

    The image that I am remembering at the moment almost seemed to be 
    computer animated right into my cortex.  It was literally moving in a 
    metered, frame by frame kind of way.  There are several different 
    dream sequences that I can recall where the same description applies, 
    usually dreamt near morning.  At other times, it has seemed as though 
    another personality was intersecting with my own.  Very tangibly, too.  
    I have prayed about it a lot.  There was one phase (that began 
    approximately a year and a half ago, and intermittently continues to 
    this day) where some sort of personality (that seemed to be associated 
    with one of the archetypal 'alien' forms) seemed to present itself 
    to my mind nearly every morning.  When this happened, there would be 
    something akin to a 'buzzing' feeling in the middle of my brain, which 
    was rather unpleasant.  This was nearly always right as I was 
    awakening.

    I'm not too concerned about it, as I have a good prayer life, but it 
    does cause me some anxiety from time to time.

    My fascination with Bjork remains, although it has somewhat calmed.  I 
    would still like to meet her.  Maybe she would understand some of the 
    things that I don't.  That's what I'd hope.  Maybe she is just plain 
    evil.  That would be a pity, because she has been so instrumental in 
    changing my life for the better, although she very likely wouldn't 
    believe that.  A girlie, to be sure.

    I have had enough of this writing business for now.

    Cheerio.
    
--- zygote.log
    Now you're in the funny company
    Sat Mar 20 1999

    I am still dismayed about the apparent inability of many people to 
    realize the awful situation that our civilization is in.  It is really 
    amazing how deeply brainwashed most of our citizens are.  I guess it's 
    been that way for quite some time; probably well before I was born.  
    The complexities are very difficult to sort out.  I think that what it 
    comes down to, is that the fear of shame is a very powerful tool, that 
    has been used often as a device to alter the socio-political dynamics 
    of society, all throughout the history of Western and Eastern 
    civilization.  It is only recently that we have been experiencing the 
    more 'high-tech' versions of the ancient mystery cults, because of the 
    advent of new technologies.  One of the most horrifying things to 
    realize, is that almost all of the institutions that are supposed to 
    be looked up to as venerable halls of sobriety, sanity and 
    righteousness (such as the judicial system, militia, and on), seem to 
    have been significantly corrupted by those wicked 'helping hand' 
    practices.  It is so ridiculous to realize that what appears to be a 
    smoothly running system, really is only a whitewashed baal-worshipping 
    voodoo cult.  People that worship dollar bills.  Unreal.  I know that 
    virtually none of them have any real love in their hearts for God, 
    because if they did, I'm sure that they wouldn't be subjecting anyone 
    to those sickening manipulations.  They love Satan.

    Everywhere I go, I am perceiving people that are 'full of the devil.'  

    Throughout my life, I have had several bad experiences with Catholics.  
    But from time to time, I also have had a few good encounters with 
    them.  There is a certain Fr. Mitch Pacwa that I have a lot of respect 
    for.  I have heard several of his dissertations on various doctrinal 
    issues over the past few weeks, and I have been very impressed with 
    what appears to be his genuine sincerity and love for God.  When he 
    speaks of the Father, there is no giggling or grinning involved.  No 
    carnival spirit manifests within him.  He is entirely sober, which is 
    much more than can be said for just about all of the rest of public 
    Christendom.  I have noticed a few other sober Christians in the 
    media, but most of them have a degree of harshness to them that Fr. 
    Pacwa does not.  I really believe that he truly loves God.

    Today, he described one of the main differences between the Eastern 
    and Western religious viewpoints.  To simplify it, the Eastern view is 
    that sexuality can be used as a means to produce 'enlightenment,' as 
    in the stimulating upwards of what is known as the Kundalini 'serpent 
    power' in Tantric Yoga, while the Western (in the idealized Christian 
    context) view is that sexuality is to be restrained for the purposes 
    primarily of procreation, within the confines of a monogamous marriage 
    at all costs.  That is the fundamental difference between the 
    Christian, and the New Age worldviews, Fr. Pacwa went on to say.  
    Anyone that knows even a little bit about the New Age movement, is 
    aware that most of it is heavily predicated on Eastern philosophies, 
    such as Buddhism, and the various Yogic disciplines.  Many New Agers 
    are in favor of sexual license (or laxity of strict sexual moral 
    codes), while most Christians are not.  Just one example of a very 
    substantive discussion that I have heard brought forth on one of the 
    programs featuring him.  Gives me a reason to have hope for organized 
    Christianity.

    But still, most of Christendom is pickling in giggling.  Not very many 
    fervent servants.  Many ministers seem downright lizardly to me 
    lately.  As if they were really agents of the devil, rather than 
    followers of the Lamb.  I certainly can't say that all of them have 
    been corrupted by that MOTB 'system,' but I am sure that some of them 
    have been.  Yes, that 'helping hand,' and it's black fruits of 
    destruction have been getting constant attention, while real 
    Christianity has taken a back seat.  The people would rather laugh and 
    'feel good,' than take a hard, cold look at what the hell they have 
    been allowing to transpire.  Sometimes I wonder whether any of these 
    people are actually going to make it into the Lord's Kingdom, as 
    firmly embedded in foolishness and stink as they are.  A more 
    desperately dumb crowd of clowns, I can barely imagine.  I just know 
    that piles of them will wind up in the place of eternal torment.  They 
    can laugh if they wanna.  They won't be laughing when that time comes.  
    God is certainly not funny, though after all of this, I have 
    determined for myself that He must have a sense of humor.  I am 
    certain that He is going to punish this nation for it's institutional 
    errors, although I have no idea as to when that will ensue.  Soon, 
    more likely than not, I suspect.  Unexpectedly, I bet.

    They just will not lift their collective heads out of the Satanic 
    slop-trough.  As I have mentioned before, I have learned that most of 
    them have no problem with people being raped, afflicted, humiliated, 
    murdered - you name it, they are not only willing to tolerate 
    unrighteousness, but they want to see the video of it, too.  Tell me 
    that nothing is wrong with that.  They will not stand up against the 
    fascist state that has been developing here.  They seem to desire the 
    manifestation of such a thing.  I am utterly disappointed in these sad 
    sacks that are supposed to be my countrymen - they are a sorry excuse 
    for Christian humanity, by any estimation.  No wonder so many people 
    throughout the world speak against our nation, and Christianity.  
    These people are just nowhere near the goodness of Christ.

    I have an idea as to some of the horrific things that may happen in 
    the near future, but I will not write down certain details, for they 
    are largely unmentionable.  They are almost too awful to think of.  
    All I will say, is that these people truly have some very rude 
    awakenings ahead of them, concerning this nation, and what it is 
    really all about.

    All I can do is just wait, while the general public continues to drink 
    in what I call the 'anti-culture,' which includes most of what might 
    be described by most people as 'popular culture.'  The obvious 
    depravity of it, at times, is undeniable.  I guess a lot of people 
    feel entirely comfortable with it, and it's moral and ethical codes 
    (or lack thereof).  To me, it's the old 'law of the jungle' mentality.  
    Or maybe, 'law of the black forest' is more like it.  However you look 
    at it, it's all bologna or salami.

    I think that the Oscars are tonight.  Surely, there is plenty of 
    hoopla over all that, as usual.  I'll try to ignore it, for the most 
    part.  Or maybe, I'll watch some of it...
    
--- yafei.log
    Pray for the enemy
    Sun Mar 21 1999

    One of the very real hazards that I am constantly being confronted 
    with, in my attempts to deal with the evils that have been plaguing 
    me, is the spirit of pride.  Especially irrational pride.  It is a 
    dedicated foe.  It lurks around every corner.  I know that I am not 
    the only one to have these types of difficulties, regarding vainglory.  
    After wrangling with it for years, I believe that I have discovered a 
    few aspects of it that many others might not have.

    First, you must understand that irrational pride is almost always a 
    manifestation of demonism.  Satan is ever trying to advantage himself 
    in instances where the egos of mortals have been wounded, or even 
    merely lightly bruised.  He immediately steps in from the shadows 
    (when the situation is of interest to him) to fan up high the flames 
    of indignation.  This, he does very well.  So, very often, molehill 
    transgressions quickly become mountainous violations.  For the sort of 
    person that has gradually become inured to this kind of grinding cycle 
    of anger amplification, the result is that there is a profound sense 
    of the loss of peace and quietude in one's mind.  I am sure that 
    somehow, this results in some kind of advantage for the forces of 
    wickedness involved in effecting the unrest.  In other words, there 
    must be 'something in it for them.'  Something that would motivate 
    them to rob us of our sense of well being.  Well, that 'something' 
    that they get from us, as best as I have been able to determine it, is 
    the natural sense of well-being that many average folks have from day 
    to day.  Doesn't sound like a big deal, right?  Well, if you were a 
    demon, with no attachment whatsoever to the Spirit of God, you might 
    understand.

    Am I saying that I understand, because I am not attached to the Spirit 
    of God?  Certainly not.

    I have had a very definite experience, as I have mentioned in several 
    different places, with the reality of the possibility of separation  
    from God.  It is horrible beyond my ability to describe it.  The best 
    way that I can even come close to defining it, is sheer terror.

    I am fairly certain that demons are experiencing the agony of disunion 
    with God all of the time.  That, I believe, is one of the reasons why 
    the people that they control the most, often seem to try and literally 
    draw the peace right out of their victims.  Demons.  They are 
    vampiric, writ large.

    Yes, so, you must understand that there really are demons.  They are 
    not imaginary.  Not by a long shot.  Got that, bucko?  Goody.  Let's 
    proceed.

    Back to pride.  Satan and his host (demons, and those who serve them) 
    seek to inspire irrational pride in as many people as possible, so 
    that they are able to advantage themselves of the balm of peace and 
    sanity that their victims would otherwise be utilizing for themselves.  
    Even the most minor level of soul-security might be coveted by an 
    agent of blackness.  They especially prize the higher forms of 
    psycho-spiritual stability, such as innocence, piety, noble 
    intentions, selflessness, and on.  By inspiring (among other things, 
    of course) evil pride in the hearts of mankind, somehow, they are able 
    to eat away at one's personal collection of stabilizing character 
    attributes.  They want to steal our brownie points, you see.  To ruin 
    what is good and humble about us.  Again, to simplify, by spoiling our 
    days, they are able to brighten theirs.   This is very, very important 
    to understand.  It is crucial that you ponder upon this reality.  For 
    as long as possible.

    I will continue in another file.

--- bloem.log
    The path that led me to that place
    Thu Mar 25 1999

    I have considered on and off over the past few weeks whether or not I 
    should try to write down some of the many, many dream fragments that I 
    could dredge up from the past few years.  When I finally compile all 
    of these squirrelly LOG files into some kind of book form, there will 
    be a very significant gap, where there should be a lot of additional 
    information about the deeply peculiar nature of my life over the past 
    few years.  I would like to provide as much missing information as 
    possible, because I believe it may actually be of interest to certain 
    people eventually.  I will do my best to be exhaustive, but I can't 
    remember everything, especially my dreams.  Unfortunate, for they are 
    often among the most interesting things of all to recollect.

    Every now and then, I feel sad that I have neglected the recording of 
    various dreams.  Even my waking life is often dreamlike in certain 
    respects, and I haven't written much on that either.  One of the 
    problems, is that it can be very hard to tell whether the memory of a 
    dream fragment or certain impression is going to be profitable in any 
    way, down the line.  Only time will bear it out.  Patience, and being 
    sure to pay close attention to all aspects of one's personal reality 
    in general will help anyone to determine if they have any significant 
    synchronicities happening betwixt their various different mental 
    states - waking, dreaming, daydreaming, brainstorming and on.

    I have learned so very much over the course of the past few years.  A 
    whole lot of it, perhaps even most of it, has been gathered via 
    eldritch intuitive processes that very often defy rational 
    explanation.  I can see the open road, the softer side of Sears, and a 
    whole lot more.  All of it can't be illusory.  There are too many 
    complex interrelated variables involved, such as the cosmic 
    relationship between the numbers two and five.  There is a very 
    large-scale mystery at work there.  You would be shocked and 
    surprised.  Dig in.

    To flesh it all out is my desired goal, but there is no way that I can 
    do that easily.  First and foremost, I have to decide where to begin, 
    in this quest to bring order out of the chaos of my introspections.  
    The best simple way that I can describe how much of the complex 
    intuitive mental process that I am trying to explain began, is that 
    several girls sparked a few of the different jump-off points for my 
    awareness of these alternate, or perhaps I should say enhanced, 
    world-view paradigms.  Because of my natural male pride, and 
    reluctance to credit women for initiating profound intellectual 
    insights, I will refrain from mentioning which of the little devils 
    (the women, you see) were mainly responsible for these varied eurekan 
    experiences that I have had throughout this decade.  Some of the 
    ladies were friends of mine, others I might call enemies, and one, I 
    don't even know personally at all.

    Well, anyhow, from the period of time beginning at the close of the 
    eighties (early 1989, to be specific), up until the present time, my 
    inner world has been more and more often commandeered by what I would 
    like to call 'forces of enlightenment.'  Certain other people might 
    want to believe that something else has been involved, such as 
    brainwashing, or mind-control techniques.  That may be true to a 
    certain degree, but there are certain classes of experiences that I 
    have had that I can safely assume to be way out of the league (as far 
    as them being able to 'effect' such things) of most of the pitiful 
    people that fancy themselves to be occultists, or the modern types of 
    psychological social engineers (that employ drugs and other tools to 
    alter the mindsets of subjects).  I know for a fact, that certain dark 
    forces in our military-industrial complex have been extremely 
    interested in various things that I have discovered.  But, since they 
    are nearly always motivated by greed and evil pride, they will never 
    fully grok much of what I have been trying to get them to understand 
    and implement.  I will have to work more with the regular citizens.  
    They are always more understanding and responsive, to new, critically 
    important information and insights.  The powerful people are almost 
    always demonized (gibborimized, is another term that might be used to 
    describe the traditional drinking cults of the 'mighty men'), and 
    their demons are only interested in preventing their often 
    uncooperative domiciles from being swept clean.  A clear awareness of 
    the bigger picture will often do that.  When the people begin to 
    understand that God is actually real, and coming to assume control of 
    the Earth, there will be a lot of pandemonium.  Not to mention the 
    information regarding other worlds, etcetera.

    These are the kinds of things that I have been made more and more 
    aware of over the past ten or so years.  In phases.  Some of these 
    periods of 'enlightenment' (I do feel somewhat uncomfortable with my 
    use of that word, but there simply is no acceptable substitute, 
    besides 'illumination,' perhaps, which sounds even worse) stretched 
    across days and weeks, others throughout entire years.  There were 
    stretches of perceptual barrenness, as well.  The fields of my mind 
    have lain very fallow indeed, at times.  I know that I have needed 
    those times to reflect and recuperate from the great perplexity and 
    angst that often subsequently resulted from the accumulation of 
    information during the more spiritually lively spans.

    How did the women I just mentioned inspire these insights?  Mostly 
    because of my being attracted in some way to them.  But not always.  
    Anger between myself and certain women has provoked some pretty 
    amazing phenomena, also.  But the info garnered from the far-reaching 
    effects of amor have always been more valuable to me.  It's almost as 
    if I was propelled into an alternate universe, or some wrinkle in the 
    time-space manifold, just by being enamored of some lovely lady, in 
    certain instances.  I very much so doubt that women often have the 
    exact same types of experiences with men, although I'm sure that many 
    of them would fervently argue that they do.  It just can't be the 
    same.

    I have often believed that there were certain things that I understood 
    about women, that many men, and people in general, just didn't.  I was 
    correct, though because of my attempts to (not entirely effectively, I 
    must regretfully report) convey what I have learned, I believe that 
    now, many others also understand some, but not all of those extremely 
    peculiar things that set women far apart from men.  Very bizarre, but 
    apparently true.  It's almost like the role of a woman (and other 
    categorical typologies) on planet Earth is often a kind of spiritual 
    clearinghouse for errant souls from another place.  There's a 
    thumbnail of an attempt at an explanation of what I am getting at.

    To be sure, it can be easy to look at the entire world as some kind of 
    soul-processing facility for spirits from a higher (and/or lower) 
    zone.  Why are we here, and how we got here, should be primary 
    considerations for just about any sentient being stumbling around.  
    Many folks just don't want to give it a whole lot of thought.  Maybe 
    some of those are the people that are most in danger of losing their 
    souls to the MOTB paradigm.

    A very disturbing thing to realize, is that the evils and disorders of 
    this Earth, may in fact be spread much farther than many of us would 
    care to realize.  Beyond Earth.  That is very unsettling.  But there 
    is comfort in the realization that the setting right of the affairs of 
    this planet will also involve the correction of other, perhaps 
    associated places.  I am trying to be careful.  I don't want to say 
    too much, because the spiritual atmosphere is very hostile at this 
    time.  We have just entered a war, and many people don't seem to be in 
    any kind of mood to discuss spiritual matters.  Any time is the right 
    time to try and figure out what the heck has been going on, if you ask 
    me.

    A thought that often saddens me, is that there is more potential at 
    this time for the general dispersal of a greater understanding of the 
    'bigger picture,' but there is such opposition to looking at the 
    possibilities.  People would rather stay focused on the monkey stick, 
    mon.

    Sad.  I have had such an aggravating time with the mystery meat 
    merchants.  They really seem to believe in what it is that they are 
    selling.  Their product is king to them, and anyone that doesn't agree 
    had just better watch out.  Yeah, boyee.

    It's lemur-licious!  I just can't believe these fools.  Man.  What the 
    Lord will say to them on Judgment Day, I don't know.  I hope I'm not 
    around to see it.  But I know that they are going to hold on to their 
    'food of the gods' system all the way up until the Lord comes down, I 
    bet.  Unbelievable.  What a bunch of chest-beating champions they are.  
    Unga.  State good.  What a bunch of gravediggers.

    If you're against what they do, they act as if you are entirely 
    humorless, or something.  They refuse to match up the meaning of their 
    heinous activities with what the Lord has told us is the main reason 
    why He is going to destroy this evil system of things.  I just don't 
    get it.  Why won't they see?

    Demons.  That's why.

    What's that?  Oh, yes, dream fragments...

    There have been so very many.  Here are a few; I deeply regret that I 
    cannot place them in chronological order:

    A feeling of being located 'elsewhere,' in a dimensional or planetary 
    sense, is often involved.  Even though I often find it interesting, I 
    am not very big on science fiction.  I believe that my impressions are 
    significant, and may actually involve very real localities, although I 
    hesitate to say where exactly any of the 'places' might be in space 
    and/or time...

    Sitting on a couch in a semi-clean basement area with several girls, 
    across from someone who resembled one of the drummers from Ujenyx, 
    Thymme Jones.  Opened a large magazine (same form factor as Life), 
    that had a photo of an erupting volcano on it's cover.  There was an 
    illustration of an Asiatic-looking woman, and I either heard or read 
    (probably heard) the words 'white silk.'  The girls seemed rather 
    friendly.

    [NAME DELETED] (who looked completely different; rather elven) greeted 
    me in a dream, and said that she'd been waiting for me to get there.  
    There was a small computer (resembling a Sinclair), with something 
    that looked like a blue LCD screen, that was flexible.  [NAME DELETED] 
    made a brief appearance.

    I believe that both of those may have involved nearby worlds, in other 
    space-time zones, but I couldn't say for sure which one(s).  There are 
    times when I am sure that it is a particular place, and then I 
    discover some reason to doubt my conclusion.  It is incredibly 
    aggravating.  Suffice it to say that I really do believe that there 
    are other worlds of life nearby, barred from our perceptions by 
    barriers of time, as well as space.  Mechanical ability to move 
    through time, as well as space, would prove, or disprove this theory.  
    I am sure that many others know a great many details about these 
    matters.

    Speaking of Mr. [NAME DELETED] (I mentioned him a paragraph ago), he 
    appeared in a few other dreams that I can recall.  In one of them, he 
    was reclining on the side of the AON insurance building with a black 
    chick, that somehow seemed familiar to me.  I think the woman reminded 
    me a lady that lived in his old neighborhood (off of Wilson avenue), 
    named Brenda (at whose home I had my one and only brush with the 
    concept of spontaneous combustion).  I think that she was some kind of 
    witch.

    In another instance, he (Mr. [NAME DELETED]) walked into a room as I 
    was washing my face.  That was the morning right before I found the 
    plasma screen computer that I am working on right now.  In yet another 
    dream, we were making plans to build a headquarters of some kind in a 
    very high mountain cave.  Seriously.  There are other instances where 
    he appeared, but I can't recall any at this moment.

    There have been instances where I have seen dark-skinned people 
    wearing turbans, or something similar, where things in general did not 
    seem to be earthly.  I have also seen a whole retinue of odd 
    creatures, some of which could definitely be classified as 'alien,' 
    others that might fit more into the classical fairy-tale gallery of 
    characters; you know, gnomes, nixes, fairies and on.  Some of them 
    seem to be extremely evil and nasty, and others are apparently 
    harmless or even helpful.  I have seen one thing recently that would 
    really freak you out if you saw it.  It was humanoid, with three eyes 
    (the middle one was on it's side, in the middle of the being's 
    forehead), and very scaly and fearsome.  It seemed to represent 
    something primal, like fire (in the bad sense), or destruction.

    The main thing that makes me able to differentiate between a 'normal' 
    dream (where I am certain that the activities and personalities are 
    exclusively of the Earth), and one of the stranger ones, is that there 
    is often a sort of melancholic feeling that permeates throughout.  The 
    quality of the dream is more 'dreamlike.'  That might be one effective 
    way of explaining what I mean.

    In another, which I am pretty sure involved Mars, there were these 
    really big, weird vehicles.  I think that they were actually 
    articulated, like the 'Big Bend' buses that we have running here on 
    certain avenues in Chicago.  But the articulated area was more exactly 
    in the middle.  They had tractor treads that incorporated three jumbo 
    wheels inside of each track, of which there were four - two for the 
    front segment, and another two for the rear assemblage.  I assumed 
    that each of the triangular tread units could be rotated on a central 
    pivot, but I can't recall if they did that or not.  One of them was 
    driven off of a very high cliff, but landed, and seemed to be not much 
    worse for the wear.  Something gave me the impression that they were 
    operating electrically, but in combination with some other fuel 
    source.  I even remember some kind of charging station, with a type of 
    overhanging shade area alongside it.

    Many moons.  There was one impression of the moon of Saturn, Titan, 
    that I had, where a hand, or some kind of claw popped up from the 
    crusty ice, and tried to pull me underground.  Scary.  Another that 
    seemed to be on one of the gas giant moons, found me handling a box of 
    some kind of computer chips that were roughly shaped like our state of 
    Nevada.

    I seem to be having a period of mental constipation.  I know that 
    there are dozens of dreams that I could recall, but they seem to be 
    very reluctant to bring themselves into the light of memory.

    There was a fragment of one dream, where I recall seeing an animal 
    that looked somewhat like a rhinoceros, but longer, and different in 
    other ways as well.  It was browsing through a very lush, grassy area.

    I definitely think that there is a very real connection between this 
    world's system of royalty, and the preservation of royal succession 
    throughout the ages, and the transference of souls between different 
    worlds.  That is more obvious to me than ever before.  Christ called 
    Satan 'the prince of this world.'  That must mean that there are other 
    princes, of other worlds.  Perhaps the Lord, and his loyal princes 
    have spiritually sent many people throughout the ages, to try and 
    remedy certain socio-political conditions.  Remember, in the book 
    of Malachi, at the end of the Old Testament (of the Protestant 
    version, at least), the Lord promises to send us Elijah, to resolve 
    certain problems, lest the Lord Himself come, and 'smite the Earth 
    with a curse.'  So, obviously, the Lord is able to 'send' people in 
    some way, from 'someplace else' to here.  But all too often, it 
    appears that their missions are misinterpreted, or just outrightly 
    opposed, and they are waylaid.  Sometimes even killed.  We know what 
    happened to Jesus, and all of His disciples.  The Lord even indicates 
    to us in the New Testament that this is so (Him sending various 
    servants, and their experiences of persecution).  These servants must 
    be 'sent' from somewhere.  I know from my personal experiences, that 
    there really is somewhere to be 'sent' from.

    I firmly believe that we can actually know to some degree, just where 
    that somewhere is.  Really, in a broader sense, it must be a 
    collection of localities, considered as one thing, that is, Heaven.  
    Consider the references to the 'many mansions' in the Father's 
    Kingdom, relayed to us by our King, Lord Jesus.  The Kingdom of 
    Heaven.  Maybe it spans much farther than most of us would care to 
    consider.  Yowsa.

    What do you consider a 'dimension' to be?  My definition includes 
    places in regular, discernible universal space, removed by time.  In 
    other words, Mars (for instance), millions of years ago (in the linear 
    way that most of us reckon time), may have been able to support life.  
    But if we were somehow able to, right now, get a glimpse into that 
    age, I would consider that to be 'another dimension.'  Similarly, if 
    there is another world (or worlds) that may be prepared (or 
    re-prepared, if you know what I'm getting at) for life-support in the 
    future, and if we were able to glimpse that - there would be yet 
    another dimension.  Also, I believe that the more standard definition 
    of a dimension may be valid.  Dimension, in the sense of a place that 
    has perhaps entirely different physicalities from what we know as our 
    familiar mathematical whereabouts.  Completely different dynamics and 
    all.  I certainly believe that the One True God, Yahweh, is 
    super-dimensional, meaning that He has dominion over all of His 
    creation, which I believe includes all 'dimensions.'

    I have worried about these impressions.  Sometimes I think that they 
    are all just a bunch of poppycock.  But at other times, there really 
    seems to be a lot of legitimacy to them.  I don't know.  Doesn't seem 
    to be too far-fetched to me.  At all.

    In another sequence, I passed through a semi-underground walkway into 
    a store, where young people were selling some kind of curios that were 
    arranged on narrow glass shelves.  There was a curiously arranged 
    semi-circular stage theater integrated into the building.  Many of the 
    different portions of the complex were connected by a series of ramps, 
    and twisting platforms, in lieu of stairways.  I then took a curving 
    path up and out, and later stood on a bridge that had stonework that 
    incorporated some hexagram designs.

    One, that I had just the other day, was very odd.  I was running 
    through what at first appeared to be a Hispanic neighborhood (I can't 
    say exactly why it seemed to be Hispanic; I think it was the feeling 
    that I got while dreaming), but then it sort of changed, and I was 
    jogging down a hill, at the top of which was something like a gas 
    station.  The hill was extremely steep, and after I got near the 
    bottom of it, I had so much momentum built up, that I couldn't avoid 
    bumping into a wall after dashing through an alley.  I couldn't help 
    but notice how remarkably clear the mundane images (such as some 
    crates and cardboard pieces propped up against a wall on the left) 
    were in this alley that I just mentioned.  It was all very realistic.

    Anyhow, after going through various passageways (I almost walked into 
    what seemed to be a cold-storage area, complete with the long clear 
    vinyl strips that are used in the doorways of such facilities), I 
    found myself slowly walking down a long corridor, that eventually 
    appeared to me to be the back room area of a retail store.  On the 
    left, there were shelves of what seemed to be very colorfully dyed 
    decorative grasses; sort of like very large and fluffy cattail plants.  
    Right before I made a left turn into what proved to be a retail store 
    area, I noticed a ceramic mug with a heart logo on it.  It seemed to 
    be associated with the concept of Valentine's Day.

    When I walked into the store area, there were some racks of things, 
    but I can't recall what they were.  There were two ladies there.  One 
    seemed to be an archetype of [NAME DELETED], while the other appeared 
    to be suggesting Bjork to me, because of her features.  But I don't 
    think that it was her.  I think that it has some relevance to her, 
    though.  It would be tedious for me to describe what I mean.  Anyhow, 
    the [NAME DELETED] doppleganger seemed sort of cheeky, while the Bjork 
    one seemed worried.  They both seemed much, much older.  But well 
    preserved, almost in an undead kind of way.  You could tell that they 
    were very old, but that certain techniques and other things were 
    keeping them alive.  Kind of like they were young and old at the same 
    time.  I felt very surprised and a bit frightened when I saw them, and 
    exclaimed, 'Jesus is Lord,' while grabbing them both behind their 
    necks.

    As I did this, there was a very bad, descendingly sour feeling, and I 
    heard myself (in the dream, of course) pleading with God to let me 
    'bring these people with me into Heaven.'  Simultaneously (this will 
    certainly seem silly to many people), I heard that weird background 
    sound effect from the original Star Trek series; a kind of repeated 
    'pinging' sound.  What happened next was horrible.  They kind of 
    shriveled up in my hands, and I was left with two (what looked like, 
    at least) dried-up monkey skins.  It was such an awful feeling, that I 
    woke up instantly.  Very creepy.  Kind of bummed out my whole day.

    Well, I have spent a good three hours putting this one together.  
    Maybe even four.  I really should spend as much time as possible 
    recording what I can remember of my dreams, because they have truly 
    become more and more interesting (at least to me) as time progresses.

    A note:  The word 'Bloem' is the name of a singer from the Netherlands 
    (Bloem de Ligny; I have not seen or heard her yet) that allegedly 
    reminds many people of Bjork.  The meaning of the name is 'flower.'  
    Right before learning of her (while doing my umpteenth computer search 
    for information on Bjork at the Belmont library), I met a fellow at 
    the Jane Addams center, who told me that he'd lived in the Netherlands 
    for a decade or so.  He described how there was no homelessness and 
    poverty there, but how the taxes were something like 75 percent of 
    everyone's income.  He then said that 'there is always a price to 
    pay.'  Taxes.  Ghastly.  I thought that was an interesting 
    coincidence, along with the experience that I had with that character, 
    Vincent (also from the Netherlands area) some years back.  The one 
    that asked if I 'wanted to see the SWAT team,' around the time of the 
    Olympics.  I will check out her album, Zink, soon.

--- phobos.log
    O'er the sea of tapioca pudding
    Fri Mar 26 1999

    It is sometimes very difficult to know in advance whether the advocacy 
    of a certain set of opinions is ultimately going to be more helpful or 
    harmful.  That dilemma is often a factor, in the presenting of 
    important new ideational concepts, particularly where sweeping changes 
    regarding social structures are concerned.  I am fairly sure that what 
    I think needs to be done, is a far better choice than the usual series 
    of progressions that we have witnessed throughout the course of 
    history, that nearly always lead to one form or another of fascist 
    rule.

    In Scripture, when God commanded the Israelites to go and take over 
    the land that He was giving them as an inheritance (Canaan), mention 
    is made of the need for them to 'drive out the inhabitants thereof 
    before you,' and to destroy their idols and altars, etcetera.  After 
    that, there is some kind of a warning about what would happen to them, 
    if they neglected the very important command that God was giving them 
    about how to deal with the cultures that they were dispossessing of 
    their land.  Something about (if any of the Canaanites remained in the 
    land with Israelites) that they would become a great bane upon the 
    people of God.  That they would attempt to sabotage the Israelites in 
    many ways, is the gist of it, I believe.

    Now, this is going to offend some people.  I think that that situation 
    applies to modern situations (such as here in North America) as well.  
    As much affinity as I have for Native American cultures, it is more 
    than obvious to me that many of them have spiritual roots that are 
    deeply erroneous.  Many of their nature-based and animistic religions 
    are deeply steeped in demonism, and the worship of intelligences that 
    are most definitely apostate to God.

    Cultures that worship objects, symbols, animals and on, are nearly 
    always being manipulated by evil spirits in some way, from what I have 
    learned.  Antichristian Amerindians could very definitely cause much 
    evil to precipitate upon this nation, from what I believe I have 
    learned.  Any people that are against the real Jesus Christ are a 
    potential threat to our stability, but Satanic Natives even more so, 
    because of the introduction of the Heavenly castaways, as of late.  
    The Dragon and his angels.  Some of them appear to have been deposited 
    in the Americas.  I know for a fact that they are spiritually 
    operating in big ways, in many different kinds of people and cultures.  
    They are controlling a great number of individuals.  The slow boat is 
    speeding up.

    Of course, there is very little difference between the worship of 
    false gods from one culture to another, so I am certainly not trying 
    to single out Native Americans, or any other group to lay undue 
    Christian contempt upon.  Just about all of the cultures involved in 
    North America have pagan origins of various different kinds lying in 
    their misty pasts; European, African and Asiatic, as well as the other 
    cultures.  The important thing to remember, is that the various 
    different forms of Christianity are what largely replaced the 
    'naturalistic' worship modes that were in effect here on this side of 
    the Earth, prior to the new arrivals, and worship of the Father and 
    Jesus Christ.

    In fact, I very strongly advocate the rise of as many truly Christian 
    Native Americans as possible, in all areas of the civilization.  They 
    could change many, many things for the better, and extremely rapidly.

    Now, what I believe is happening, regarding the situation concerning 
    the 'table of demons' activities, is that certain forces (especially 
    the many different fraternal orders - which is somewhat ironic to me, 
    because of the heavily feminine nature of the tactics that are being 
    employed) have been, for a very long time, trying to seduce the 
    Christian masses into believing that there can be a compromise made 
    between what Almighty God wants for the world, and what Satan, and his 
    host want.  That kind of a concept seems to have been subliminally 
    popularized over the past few decades, especially.  The entertainment 
    industry is largely responsible for that.  I must admit that I have 
    even entertained the notion that it might be possible for the Lord to 
    achieve a certain degree of peace with His enemies.  I think that many 
    people would very much like to believe that that might be possible.

    I don't believe that there will ever be any agreement of amity between 
    God and Satan.  I just want to make that clear.  But I do believe that 
    people that have been (wittingly or unwittingly) serving the 
    adversaries of God can be led to the truth of the Gospel, and thus 
    avoid the fiery perdition that they would otherwise have to look 
    forward to.  In other words, I believe that some tares can be 
    converted into wheat for the upcoming harvest.  The Lord really is 
    going to gather the wheat into His barn.  And the souls that insist on 
    being tares, are going to be bundled, and cast into the furnace.  That 
    is why Jesus has sent forth certain angelic forces, as it is explained 
    in the Bible.  Those things are really going to happen.

    Before delving more into that, I will digress a bit:

    There once existed a tribe of people that were known in ancient times 
    as the Phoenicians.  Their nation existed in the northern vicinity of 
    what is now modern Israel, with perhaps some protrusion into the area 
    above.  They were principally a maritime civilization, that placed a 
    great emphasis on trading with many other nations of the Mediterranean 
    area, and beyond.  I think that they have been completely assimilated 
    into other tribal groups by now.

    One of the many interesting things about them, is that they were the 
    nearly exclusive possessors of the ability to produce a purple dye 
    that was very much in demand in many places during their day.  In 
    fact, they were so known for producing the unique dye (which was 
    extracted by some peculiar process, from certain mollusks), that 
    they became widely known as 'the sellers of purple.'

    Another interesting thing, is that they were the inheritors of the 
    ancient religion of Baal worship, which has been occasionally 
    identified by some scholars, as somehow being associated with the 
    planet Mars.  Yet another thing of interest - the British have a very 
    keen interest in the Phoenicians, and many of them seem to believe 
    that certain aspects of their tribes were founded by that nation of 
    long ago.  It is one of the several ways that the modern British 
    attempt (particularly in the aristocratic circles) to trace their 
    history all the way back to one of the cradles of civilization.  
    Others seem to be more in favor of Judaic ties, or other tribal 
    associations.  Maybe a little bit of all of that applies to modern 
    England.  I perceive a lot of disparate influences at play in their 
    cultures.  Now, remember (I am getting back to my original train of 
    thought, be patient), during the ministry of Elijah, the people that 
    he was most at odds with, were the Baal-worshippers, particularly the 
    priests of Baal.  In fact, at one point, he had hundreds of them 
    slain, after they miserably failed a test to prove the superiority of 
    Baal over Jehovah.  You can read all about it in the Old Testament.

    Additionally, there is the consideration, that when the famous 
    alliteration of the fall of the devil is made in the Old Testament 
    (the lamentation upon the king of Tyre), the ancient city of Tyre is 
    actually (at least throughout some of the course of it's history) a 
    Phoenician city.

    The point that I am trying to make, is that I believe that the 
    English-speaking world (which I call 'the Realm,' which includes most 
    of the nations that have an English-speaking majority) has a dual 
    spiritual heritage; Christian, and the mystery cult religion of 
    Baal-worship (which I will henceforth refer to as Masonry).  The 
    acquisition of the lands involved in the Realm was effected largely 
    under the influence of the Christian heritage (keeping in mind that 
    many pagan cultures were dispossessed of said lands), but now, the 
    dominant cultural influences seem to be based on the Baal cults, or 
    some kind of tangential paradigm.  This is something that many people 
    understand very well in a fuzzy, Vaseline-smeared lens kind of way, 
    but are very reluctant to acknowledge more straightforwardly.  The 
    worship of Baal (and all other false gods) is a very ugly business, 
    involving all of the things that should be objectionable to anyone 
    that claims faith in Jesus Christ.  I think that I'll just leave it at 
    that.  Well, no, I'll attempt to clarify just what I mean...

    In the New Testament, those practices are referred to as 'the deep 
    things of Satan,' 'things done in darkness,' 'not even worthy of 
    mention,' or 'the worthless traditions of our fathers.'  Did you know 
    that Baal and Beelzebub are synonyms?  They are perfectly 
    interchangeable names.  Beelzebub is Baal.

    The Lord lets us know, in no uncertain terms, that Beelzebub is the 
    'prince of devils.'  He also says (through apostle Paul, I believe) to 
    newly converted Christians, that they once followed the 'course of 
    this world; of the prince of the power of the air (again, Beelzebub); 
    the spirit that even now works in the children of disobedience.'  
    Please remember that there may be some kind of extraterrestrial 
    connection that needs to be understood, when we are considering the 
    activities of the prince of devils.  Yes, there really is spiritual 
    wickedness in high places, Virginia.

    Now whether that spiritual wickedness involves Martians, Moonians, 
    Venusians, hyper-Terraneans (for they that understand what I mean), or 
    any other hypothetical dwellers of 'elsewhere,' I cannot say for sure.  
    I personally believe that one or more of the aforementioned places (in 
    other dimensions, of course) are probably involved.  If you think that 
    I am joking, I can assure you that I am not.  The Lord is opposed to 
    Beelzebub, and all of his children.  The people that agree to 
    participate in Masonry are the spiritual 'children' of Beelzebub.

    If you are interested in your soul's survival into the Lord's Kingdom, 
    it is absolutely paramount that you understand that.  The devil's 
    children are not going to inherit the Earth, or any of the rest of the 
    Lord's Kingdom.  They have a very dark fate ahead of them, from which 
    none of them will escape.  I know this to be absolutely true.  If you 
    have doubts about it, sincere prayer to God may reveal the truth of it 
    to you, if the Lord is willing.

    Now, one of the reasons why all of this has been so gosh-darn 
    difficult for so many people to figure out, is because of the shame 
    factor involved in the imposition of those wicked 'blessings' that 
    take place in certain Masonic initiations.  Some people speak 
    gigglingly of the 'gift of gab,' or they use other, usually veiled, 
    ways to refer to the evil deeds that are perpetrated upon the 
    unsuspecting victims of the priests of Baal.  To be blunt, it appears 
    (though I have no direct proof of it) that the administering of 
    poisons, demonic possession, rape and sodomy are standard fare in 
    their religious rituals.  If that doesn't seem ugly to you, you are 
    probably not going to Heaven.

    You probably have another appointment.  A hot date.

    There are many other false gods, but I think that it's safe to boil 
    them all down to Baal.  Astarte, and other female divinities, such as 
    Diana, also seem to be very popular.  In the Old Testament there is a 
    reference to the pouring out of drink offerings to someone described 
    as the 'Queen of Heaven.'  If they are real, extraterrestrial 
    intelligences, they are probably opposed to the Father.  All of them 
    are in the pantheon of Satan, no doubt.  Those perverse mystery cults 
    of sex and war have thousands of different variations, but they are 
    all the same thing, basically.  The Mark of the Beast.  Mystery 
    Babylon, Mother of Harlots and Abominations of the Earth.  Satanism.  
    It's all the same stuff.  Nothing nice.

    Definitely not Christianity, my friends.

    The Lord warns us that all of the people that accept the Mark of the 
    Beast are going to hell.  All of them.  No exceptions.  You have been 
    warned.

    I guess it's just hard for many people to believe that those 
    abominations are actually the Beast markings that we've been warned 
    about for going on 2000 years.  Jesus told us that the spirit of 
    antichrist was in the world, even when He was here.  These people are 
    fantastically stupid.

    The Lord has told us that someone would come along that would place a 
    'mark' upon all people:  rich, poor, free, bond, and on.  I can't 
    claim to know exactly who that person is, but I feel very strongly 
    that the developing situation is very real.  I am determined to wake 
    up as many people as possible to it.  That my writings have not been 
    returned to me is proof enough for me.  It indicates that very dark 
    possibilities may lie just ahead.  If the Lord will not effect the 
    return of my book, I don't think that there's anything that I'll be 
    able to do about it.

    And I know that the will of the people that I believe have stolen it 
    is evil.  There is just no getting around it.  It's closing time.

    Yes, I think that the Dragonettes have wrapped their scaly paws around 
    my invention, and are probably planning to use it to advantage 
    themselves in evil ways, as usual.  They want their religion of rape 
    and murder to spread as far and wide as possible, because it is what 
    seems good and prudent to them.  They can see no end to their 
    whoredoms.

    However, their evils will eventually end.

    As best as I can tell, the brightest thing that could happen, as far 
    as this situation is concerned, would be for my intellectual property 
    to be restored to me.  That would be a very glorious thing, indeed.  
    But, as usual, the malefactors just don't get it.

    Gling (sound of a halo lighting up)!

    The Lord, and his loyal host, will prevail, of course.  It just 
    endlessly irks me that most of these people won't give any serious 
    thought to the possibilities that I've been trying to get them to 
    consider.  A whole lot of them are going to go to that very real lake 
    of fire.  This I know, but I feel almost completely powerless to do 
    anything to improve the situation.  I feel lucky to know that I am 
    saved.  It is an awesomely happy thing to understand.

    The gloom in my nature stems from my lifelong experience with people 
    that consistently reject some of the most important aspects of the 
    Gospel.  It's not like I have always lived a good life.  In fact, I am 
    quite familiar with many different types of vices.  I know that 
    repentance is the main key to being forgiven for one's sins.  It is 
    depressing to know that God is not going to lead everyone out of 
    error.

    There is one other thing, that I should make mention of.  Right after 
    the account given in Genesis of the Deluge, we are told a little story 
    about Noah getting intoxicated, and one of his sons 'seeing his 
    nakedness.'  The curse that Noah pronounced, after waking up, and 
    realizing what his son, Ham, had done to him, was directed towards 
    Ham's son.  The name of the cursed son was Canaan, and the curse was 
    of servitude to the progeny of Noah's other two sons.  Just another 
    reason why I see the continuing of those sickening practices as 
    slavery, of a very nasty kind.  Our civilization is full of people 
    that have been routinely subjected to those Canaanite curses.  We are 
    a largely spiritually indentured nation, but most people aren't even 
    aware of that fact.  Those practices need to be ceased, or the end 
    result will be disorder of the highest magnitude.  I am trying to put 
    forth as much information as possible, to convince people just why 
    those diabolical practices, and the people that are in favor of them 
    continuing, need to be understood for what they are.

    The enemies of God.  Do not serve them, or you will certainly share 
    their condemnation.

--- tugboat.log
    I come from the land up over
    Sat Mar 27 1999

    I watched a rebroadcast of a Bravo special on Bjork tonight.  I saw 
    most of it a few months ago.  Tonight, I got to see some of the 
    opening that I missed from my first viewing.  She actually recorded an 
    album when she was seven years of age.  The bit that they played was 
    pretty cute.  She spent ten years in classical music school.  I also 
    learned a bit more about her pre-solo career with Kukl, Tappi Tikarass 
    and the Sugarcones - er, no, that's Sugarcubes.  Fun stuff to watch.  
    A nice diversion.  I forgot all about world peace.

    And the darkness of the devil.

    Not that I think that Bjork is all about sweetness and light.  But, 
    compared to other things, she sort of is.  At least I hope so.  Maybe 
    she has a black, crispy center.  Probably, actually.

    Sometimes I just get to feeling kind of burnt out on all of these 
    issues.  Nobody really cares much about the spiritual condition of the 
    world, anyway.  Often, I wonder why I continue to bother about it at 
    all.  There is no way that most people would take me seriously.  Only 
    lunatics would listen to me carefully.  It's not that I think that I 
    might be crazy.  I know that I am not.  It's just that the people are 
    so heavily invested in denial.  At times, it seems that virtually 
    everyone is insane to some degree.  Not me, thank God.

    I am as sane as the next man.  Saner, even.

    There is a passage somewhere in the Bible that says that 'the worlds' 
    were framed by the actions of God, or something close to that.  
    Descriptions of Heaven as a plurality of places can be found in many 
    different instances.  Although mention is made of Heaven as being 
    drastically different from Earth in many respects, there are definite 
    similarities indicated, such as the activities of eating and drinking 
    in Heaven with Lord Jesus that are mentioned in the New Testament.  
    Also, we are told that 'Heaven and Earth will pass away.'  Which, 
    obviously, indicates to us that Heaven, like Earth, is perishable to 
    some degree.  Another thing that we are told, is that in the far-flung 
    future, there will be 'a new Heaven and Earth.'  Why aren't the 
    preachers and pastors discussing these very important issues?

    I don't know; all I can say for sure, is that anyone that indicates 
    that they seriously believe that there is life anywhere else in the 
    universe, especially nearby, is treated as thought they were 
    completely insane.  Especially someone that claims to have personal 
    experience with these matters, such as myself.  Why I should be 
    treated this way, is just beyond me.  The entire series of awful 
    things that have happened to me are just unbelievable.  And yet, 
    nobody seems to make the connection that all of that endless contempt 
    being directed my way (as well as towards others in similar 
    circumstances, I am sure) might just indicate that there is some 
    validity to my arguments.

    I am convinced that the real secret about the world, is that most of 
    the powerful individuals are connected in some way to a group of 
    people that are the spiritual wards of a little clan of intelligences 
    that have been cast out of the Heavens, after losing their war against 
    Yahweh.  It's as simple as that.  But that appears to be the main 
    thing that much of our civilization is in denial about.  The nasty 
    practices are just a smoke-screen, to keep anyone from seriously 
    considering such possibilities.  I am more and more convinced each day 
    that all of the people that are 'participating' are going to hell.  I 
    hate to think that it's so, but...

    If anybody would be willing to discuss those matters in a completely 
    sober way, without any giggling or grinning, then maybe I would feel 
    that I might be somewhat wrong in my estimation of the meaning of 
    those initiations.  But the simple fact of the matter, is that nearly 
    nobody can do that.  They just break into chuckles at the mere thought 
    of those 'baggings' of people.  I have laughed too.

    But after a while, for those of us that lean towards sanity, it just 
    ain't funny no mo'.  The end result of those evil practices will be 
    fascism.  And mass death.  Murder, and a whole lot of other evil 
    manifestations will blossom in our society, If the imbeciles that 
    perpetrate those evils are not checked.  That is what has been 
    happening already, but I am certain that it will get far worse.  Evil 
    men and seducers will wax worse and worse, for sure.  The only hope we 
    have left, is for our spiritually limp authorities to finally do 
    something to stop those cults of devilish foolishness.  The nation is 
    spilling over with demonic activity.  And that ain't too cool.

    Sometimes, I feel like the primal square.  I can understand how 
    certain people might not want to listen to what I've been saying.  I 
    irritate myself a great deal.  It's just that the combination of 
    things that I have endured indicates to me that there is a great need 
    for as many people as possible to attenuate themselves to the 
    possibilities of various things that might happen in the future, 
    concerning Christianity.  We have had thousands of years of paranoia 
    over these issues, and now that things really seem to be coming to a 
    head, it's almost as if there is a gigantic wave of spiritual apathy 
    washing over everyone.

    I just don't know what else to do, but wait.

--- bunyip.log
    The devil is in the details
    Sun Mar 28 1999

    Spent a lot of time just resting today.  My eye feels pretty lousy.  
    At least the pain isn't as bad as it was last week.

    Looks like they are going to be waging war in the Balkans for quite 
    some time.  The campaign that they are executing now is supposed to 
    involve something like three major phases.  But everyone says that 
    they aren't going to commit any ground troops.  That is how nearly all 
    wars are won, which I'm sure everyone knows.  But, you never know what 
    is going to happen from one week to the next.

    One thing that I think is good about the whole affair, is that Clinton 
    appears to be coming out somewhat in opposition to the Russians.  The 
    key thing to remember, at this point, is that it is a very 'seems to 
    be' kind of a situation.  So far.  The way that the international 
    scene has been developing over the course of this century, I wouldn't 
    be too surprised to learn that all of these political events were 
    somehow scripted in advance, by whatever combination of world forces 
    that have agreed to take control of the planet, in a world 
    governmental sense.  In other words, there might be more than a little 
    bit of acting involved in the unfolding of current events.  It takes a 
    very suspicious mind to get to the real truth of the geopolitical 
    situation nowadays.  Nobody is playing it straight.  Politically, 
    nearly everyone and everything seems to be unsound.  Many powerful 
    nations have evil ulterior motives, I believe.  Greed, of some kind, 
    often seems to be a factor.  Nations are just legitimized gangs, 
    anyway.  Always looking for fights.  And finding them.  But it's the 
    very clever ones, that use elaborate PR tactics to convince the 
    world at large that their motives are truly good (sometimes, it 
    appears, the motivation really is humanitarian - would that were 
    always the case), that tumble out of their rumbles smelling rosy.

    I think that our Department of Defense needs to remember that we are 
    embroiled in a conflict in a European theater, not in Africa, Asia or 
    the Arab world.  There is a very big difference, not least of which, 
    is that the Balkan area is part of the sphere of Soviet influence.  
    Mostly in an unspoken way.  But still, it is.  I seem to recall 
    hearing at various different times, that there is a large contingency 
    of terrorists that operate out of Albania.  Actually, I heard someone 
    on television mention today that there's a rumor that some Albanians 
    are connected in some way to a major terrorist from the Islamic world.  
    I can't recall his name at the moment, but I know that he (and his 
    organization) claimed responsibility for the bombing of an American 
    Embassy building that occurred in Africa not long ago.  I certainly 
    believe that there is a chance that some terrorist acts might occur, 
    as a result of the US and NATO getting involved in the Balkans.  But, 
    surprisingly, there isn't much talk along those lines.

    People are fleeing Milosevic's forces in Kosovo south into Macedonia, 
    where they have already received something like 20,000 people over the 
    past year or so.  They say that maybe they can handle that amount 
    again, with help from other countries.  I heard some reports of 
    atrocities.  People being slaughtered.  Nothing that isn't already 
    happening here in the good ol' USA.  Evil is pretty much the same all 
    around the globe.  Only here, they try to paint a smile on it's face.

    One of the people that were speaking in favor of the position of 
    Milosevic, and his loyalists, said that Albright and Clinton are 
    'obsessed with destroying the Serbs.'  I wonder if that's true.  And 
    if so, why?  Maybe they are really acting as puppets, to do 'dirty 
    work' for the Russians.  One never knows.  Another person equated the 
    Serbs with the Nazis, and said that many of them were Axis 
    sympathizers during W.W.II.  I saw someone carrying a placard at a 
    Communist rally against NATO, that was inscribed with the words:  
    'Adolf Clinton.'  Yeah.

    That's how I kind of feel about the whole situation here in the US.  I 
    know that Clinton, and all of his contemporaries, know exactly what 
    has happened to me (for instance).  This atrocity has been perpetrated 
    upon me, and obviously viewed by a substantial amount of individuals.  
    And yet, nothing has been done to rectify the situation.  I can only 
    imagine how many other people have been treated similarly.  Maybe 
    many; maybe only a few.  Something about it all smacks of fascism.  I 
    think that Clinton, and his people, are really just very 
    well-disguised fascists.  Maybe they are even Nazis.  There seems to 
    be a lot of evidence, at least from my vantage point.  At the very 
    least, I think that they are possessed by the devil.  That is obvious, 
    to anyone that has an eye for spiritual detail.  Janet Reno, with all 
    of her veiled hostility, and scads of other people always looking 
    nervous, guilty and sweaty.  Perhaps they are all on heroin, cocaine 
    or something.  I'll just bet that somebody has caught some of them on 
    video.  Doing it.  There are teeny-tiny full color cameras that can be 
    installed virtually anywhere.

    The possibilities of high-level political blackmail are virtually 
    endless.  Especially if you really think about the high-tech 
    capabilities that many evil world forces now have at their disposal.  
    Something very, very interesting might happen on a future New Year's 
    Day.  Pirated communications satellites could replace regular 
    television signals with unthinkable broadcasts.  Stuff like that.  
    Real 'Outer Limits' scenarios.  It could happen.

--- ragnarok.log
    Ollie ollie oxen free
    Mon Mar 29 1999

    Some days I feel almost as if I'm living in the past.  That is the 
    only way that I can think of at the moment to describe it.  There 
    seems to be a very written, fated kind of a quality to all things.  I 
    often feel as if I am stumbling along through one jumbo-size deja vu.

    There was a point at which I engaged in heavy speculation regarding 
    whether I might have found my way into some kind of a time loop.  One 
    that might involve another nearby world, perhaps removed from this one 
    by a great stretch of time and/or space.  But my theories began to get 
    too confusing and the reasoning involved, too spaghetti-ish, for me to 
    continue to ponder upon those possibilities.  I still think that 
    aspects of that kind of paradigm might apply, but it is hard for me to 
    include God in that kind of an equation without worrying about the 
    potential of blasphemy.

    Where I am/was most worried (concerning God), is can there be a 
    comfortable connection made between the concept of our Almighty God, 
    who is perfect, and us, His creations, who most definitely are 
    imperfect, and the possibility of God moving us along towards 
    perfection via our now staggering, now halting technological progress.  
    Obviously (at least to me, and the others that know what I'm talking 
    about) the heavenly forces (good and evil) have what might be 
    considered by many to be a very high degree of technological prowess.  
    There definitely is a very advanced set of capabilities at their 
    disposal.  And at ours, of course - there appears to be a great deal 
    of overlap.  Certainly much of that is due to back-engineering of 
    certain mechanical devices.  That has been taking place over the 
    course of much of this century.  As well as various kinds of 
    innovations in many fields of science that have allowed us to 
    understand the more esoteric aspects of energy relationships.  
    Particle accelerators and such have revealed many wonders that the 
    general public knows next to nothing about.

    One of the sad realities, is that there has been no commensurate 
    advancement in the dynamics of human psycho-spiritual development.  
    That, again, is largely due to the refusal of the world's main power 
    groups to drop their many variations on 'ancestor worship' practices, 
    that is, the demonic cults.  That is what is absolutely insuring the 
    utter doom of this order of things.  It no longer frustrates me to 
    realize that nobody seems to fully understand that.  We are told that 
    the Lord Himself is putting it into the minds of the people to fulfill 
    His will for the end of this age.  Who am I to argue, if it is so?

    Let the Lord's will be done, is what I say.  Only He knows the 
    complete truth of all things, anyway.  I trust Him.  I just feel sorry 
    for the people who don't.

    Now there appears to be more and more of a rising voice for the 
    deployment of NATO ground forces over in the Kosovo region.  That is 
    what we will have to do, if we are actually serious about winning a 
    war there.  Otherwise, the guy will probably just dig in, and bide his 
    time.  A very disturbing development today, was that there is some 
    kind of an accord between Milosevic and Saddam Hussein.  Supposedly, 
    the Iraqis have agreed to supply the Serbs with oil, and other 
    supplies, while the Serbs in return, are promising to help repair and 
    rebuild some of Saddam's war planes.  Lovely.  That is muy creepy.  
    Next thing you know, that cozy alliance will blossom into a world of 
    trouble for NATO, with various ex-Soviet republics getting on board, 
    etcetera.  The weird thing, is that Milosevic is ousting Muslims from 
    Serbia.  How that he is able to get Hussein's support, is somewhat 
    mysterious to me.  I thought that Saddam was a card-carrying Muslim.  
    I don't get it.

    In a way, I think it would be good for us to send troops over there.  
    Maybe it will help to insure that we will have at least one more 
    generation of heterosexuals in our nation's future.  Something about 
    our young people seems very socially unhealthy.  There is no spark of 
    national romanticism.  No desire for truth and honor.  No bravery.  
    Wickedness and shameless deceit are championed all the live-long day.  
    The kids seem morally pale and sickly.  Almost poisoned.  Antidote:  
    War!

    Ha.  Just joking, sort of.  I am actually beginning to believe that 
    Milosevic is a bad guy.  Maybe it is just the crafty media, softening 
    up my mind; brainwashing me.  Doing what they do best - spinning.  
    Probably.

    No, but seriously, if the Serbs are really beginning to team up with 
    the likes of Saddam, you just know that even greater evils could be 
    looming on the horizon.  And if we don't follow up with some ground 
    troops, NATO will just look like an ol' bowl of Granny's oatmeal.  
    With a big, greasy prune smack dab in the middle of it.  Sickening, 
    unappealing.  Various member nations may begin to dishonor certain 
    aspects of key agreements, or even drop out entirely.  It would be 
    scary, because I know that the Soviets would just love for that to 
    happen.

    Folks here just don't seem to be able to grasp the concept of what the 
    Soviets are really all about.  Our people are just pretty stupid, in 
    general, I guess.  The Soviets, and Communists considered all 
    together, have been responsible for the deaths of well over 100 
    million people throughout the course of the twentieth century.  They 
    are definitely big-time murderers.  What is wrong with our current way 
    of 'doing things,' is largely due to Soviet, and Communist influence.  
    That is why I am so very happy that we once again have a chance to 
    firmly oppose the Russians, and world Communism, which I firmly 
    believe has never stopped being the awful threat that we once clearly 
    perceived it to be.  Anyone that knows anything about politics knows 
    that the Democratic party is jammed with Socialists, Marxists, 
    Communists, you name it.  Nearly all of those people tend to be 
    completely amoral, and fervently anti-Christian.  This I have learned 
    from many bitter experiences, not from the mealy mouth of some tired 
    old jingoist.  I know the truth of it.

    So, as unpleasant as it is for me to say it, I really do believe that 
    there may be more than a few good reasons for us to get seriously 
    involved in a war in that region.  Yesterday, I was almost ready to 
    say that we should just leave the situation alone.  I don't think that 
    would be the wisest course.  I just hope that whatever happens, we 
    avoid starting another world war.

    But that might be unavoidable, unless God is with us.  Hopefully, He 
    is.

--- zhaoxing.log
    I'd like to teach the world to sing
    Tue Mar 30 1999

    Those of us that have the hope of entering into the Lord's Kingdom 
    don't need to concern ourselves overmuch with many of the 
    free-floating anxieties that many of our non-Christian contemporaries 
    enjoy.  We have all of the time in eternity to look forward to.  In 
    fact, that is a very good way to determine whether or not someone is 
    in the camp of the enemy - they often have a restless, nervous quality 
    that is deeply etched upon all aspects of their character.  Granted, I 
    do believe that there are times when Christians should also be deeply 
    nervous and restless.  Now may be one of those times.  But, 
    ultimately, we really have very little to worry about, whereas the 
    damned certainly do.

    Not very long ago, I watched a live conversation on C-Span (I love 
    that channel) between Li Zhaoxing (the Chinese ambassador to the US), 
    and a lady interviewer.  Mr. Zhaoxing seemed to be a likable fellow, 
    but he repeatedly downplayed all aspects of the issues relating to the 
    illegal transfer of American defense technology to his countrymen.  He 
    said (which I believe is true, for the most part) that China has a 
    long history of scientific progress, and was perfectly capable of 
    developing all of the technologies in question without any assistance, 
    legal or not, from the United States.  He gave the chronology 
    regarding China's development and testing of atomic and hydrogen 
    bombs, and related other information that generally supported his 
    claims that they have in no way needed to refer to western sources for 
    ideas to augment their war machine.  Well, I don't know if I believe 
    that completely.

    I agree that China, and it's scientific community, are no slouches 
    when it comes to being sharp in R&D regards, but there seems to be a 
    lot of evidence that they actually have pilfered some of our trade 
    secrets.  Personally, I think that international blackmail tactics 
    have a whole lot to do with it.  I have been trying to get these 
    people to understand the far-reaching implications of their 
    willingness to tolerate the practices of occultic foolishness that I 
    have long been speaking against.  Those practices are of the devil, 
    and his host, and will only advantage all of our adversaries in the 
    long run.

    China may well wind up being one of those adversaries, although at the 
    moment, I feel uncommonly optimistic about our relations with them.  
    They can be an extremely charming company of individuals, especially 
    when one considers how very out of order much of our culture over here 
    is.  Even though they are Communists, I admire them in many ways.  I 
    am constantly thinking of ways to get them to accept Christianity.  
    That would really transform them for the better.  One problem, is that 
    most people here seem to be far more interested in getting the Chinese 
    to drink Pepsi, and wear Nikes, than to help them to commit themselves 
    to the coming Lord of the World, Jesus Christ.

    [NAME DELETED] has told me that he has received documents from the DoD 
    which had been acquired from China, and then subsequently discovered 
    to be info that had been gleaned from our defense community, and then 
    translated into Chinese.  There is some evidence.  I think that many 
    people in the defense community are well aware of such things taking 
    place.  Much of it may be legal, with all of the technology transfer 
    agreements and all, but I am sure that some of it is not.  Piracy of 
    all types of information is very common, all throughout the world, so 
    it would not surprise me at all to discover that such things were 
    taking place.  There are so many low-quality people in our 
    government's federal bureaucracy, that it boggles the mind.  I'll bet 
    that many of those people cannot at all be trusted to keep our nation, 
    and it's defense information safe.

    There is a such a climate of stupidity prevailing, at all levels of 
    society.  It is the perfect environment for things to go wrong, in 
    small and large ways.  Nearly everyone knows how very simple it is to 
    transfer information of all kinds, all over the world, via the 
    Internet.  It doesn't take the proverbial rocket scientist to 
    understand the kinds of things that might be happening.  Again, I 
    think that those blackmailing activities, especially the most 
    offensive (occultic, involving hypnotism, witchcraft, and on) 
    varieties, are one of the very gravest threats ever to our national 
    security.  Anyone that doesn't believe that that is so, is probably 
    some kind of pawn of the devil anyway, and should basically be 
    considered to be an enemy of our state.  If we cannot keep this nation 
    under God, we very likely are going to lose it to the enemies of the 
    Lord.  Satan, and his people, have been advantaging themselves within 
    our nation, at the expense of those of us that love God.  That, I 
    firmly believe, is what has been going on.  It is just ever so tragic 
    that precious few people clearly understand that.

    Anyhow, Li Zhaoxing said that next week, a very big Chinese premier of 
    some kind will pay a visit to the US.  He seemed to indicate that the 
    future course of Sino-American relations may be seriously affected for 
    better or worse, depending on China's perception of the outcome of the 
    potentate's trip.  I hope that everything goes well, because I would 
    like very much to see the relationship between China and the US 
    stabilize and improve.  I think that the two nations have a great deal 
    to offer one another, although I believe that both nations also need 
    to alter themselves in fundamental ways to allow the highest degree of 
    cooperative progression to ensue.

    Mr. Zhaoxing was very personable, although he did exhibit a few of the 
    characteristics of they that are being influenced by evil spirits.  
    However, that certainly is nothing new to me - our nation is simply 
    crammed with people that have the same kinds of problems.  He also 
    seemed to be heavily in denial about the aforementioned illegal 
    defense technology transfer issues, saying for instance, that the 
    allegations were 'fabrications pulled out of thin air,' or something 
    close to that.  Whatever.

    China is supposed to only have twenty or so heavy nuclear missiles in 
    it's armaments, but with the MIRV technology to enhance even just a 
    few of them, their destructive capabilities would be dramatically 
    increased.  Something to worry about, for sure.  Also, there is the 
    lamentable fact that we have no missile defense system, which I 
    believe I have already mentioned in other files.  Many people still do 
    not understand what that really means.  If more people did, there 
    would be a far greater uproar over it.

    Yet another horrifying thing to contemplate, is that beyond FEMA, we 
    have no concrete contingency plans for civil defense, in the event 
    that such an unspeakable thing as a nuclear war, or series of 
    large-scale terrorist events should actually precipitate upon us.  
    No bomb shelters, stored rations, etcetera.  China and the Soviets 
    have very, very extensive civil defense programs in effect.  In 
    certain Russian and Chinese metropolitan areas, there are veritable 
    underground cities, with level after level of warehoused food and 
    other provisions, that are being renewed on strict schedules.  Don't 
    believe that?  Go check it out.  It's true.  They have long been 
    making plans to protect many of their civilians from the brunt of a 
    nuclear war, whilst the drunks over here won't even discuss such 
    matters publicly.  These are the kinds of issues that have been 
    burning in my mind for years.

    They are protecting their people, while we are poisoning and raping 
    ours.  Who do you think is smarter?  Who do you think actually cares 
    for their nation and people more?  Sadly, the answer appears to be 
    that the Communists, although they have the wrong god (no god at all, 
    that is), actually appear to have genuine love and concern for the 
    welfare of their charges, while our people (especially the younger 
    set) are largely just interested in chasing dollar bills and having a 
    'good time,' even at the expense of our nation and it's citizenry.  
    That is why I am so very ashamed of our country, in many ways.  It 
    used to be great, but not any more.  Now, it's just kind of dumb.  I 
    am convinced that many of our own, are our very worst enemies.  The 
    Satan-worshippers are going to be responsible for our nation's demise, 
    if it comes to that, which it just might.

--- arkan.log
    After supper he began to joke
    Wed Mar 31 1999

    Things have gone from bad to worse, over the course of the past 
    twenty-four hours or so.  Three American soldiers that were doing some 
    kind of patrol along the Kosovo-Macedonia border were captured by 
    Serbian forces (possibly, it hasn't yet been officially confirmed) 
    when they strayed too far across into Kosovo.  That is bad, because 
    they will probably be POWs for a very long time.  It may take quite a 
    while for the Serbs to even acknowledge their capture, and if/when 
    they do, surely they will be used as bargaining chips by Milosevic.  
    Another thing, is that today, I actually got to see a live interview 
    with the guy that is basically second-in-command in the Yugoslavian 
    army.  He is supposed to be more or less directly responsible for the 
    main brunt of the offensive actions that have been taken to 'cleanse' 
    the Albanian peoples from the Kosovo region.  His full name is 
    something like Zeljko Radnajovic (I may have the spelling incorrect - 
    probably), but he is widely known as 'Arkan.'  He is a very successful 
    businessman in Yugoslavia, and is married to their top pop star.  He 
    also owns a football team, and is widely liked by many of the Serbs.

    Just today, the international war crimes tribunal (which is 
    headquartered in the Hague) indicted him on several counts of war 
    atrocities related to actions that were taken by the Serbs in the 
    affairs concerning the Bosnia-Herzegovinia region.  He is blamed for 
    the torture and murder of many people.  He is on the Interpol shit 
    list, and has warrants for his arrest in many different European 
    nations.  Also, he has worked as an assassin for a certain character 
    known as Tito.  Make that man a general!

    Those kinds of people seem to be on the rise all throughout the world 
    nowadays.  Murderers, and criminals of all kinds are very popular.  
    They make perfect fascists.  These people over here just haven't the 
    foggiest idea of what it would mean for us to get into a war with the 
    Serbs.  As I imagined, Arkan explained that if NATO sends in any 
    ground forces, the Serbians will fight against them tooth and claw.  I 
    bet.  Personally, I don't think that our people are ready to fight a 
    hard-core war in that region.  We don't have the moral upper hand, is 
    what I think it comes down to.  Our young people have been very badly 
    programmed over the past few decades, and for us to thrust them into 
    that violent arena would be sending a great many of them to very 
    untimely deaths.  I am sure of it.

    It's not that I am frightened of this Arkan fellow.  Certainly not.  I 
    just know that he is a very serious chap, and is prepared to do what 
    it will take to cause a lot of misery for our people in that region, 
    if it comes down to it.  Now listen.  There is a missing dimension to 
    human communication, that from time to time, I believe I am able to 
    pick up somewhat.  It's kind of like when one has a radio that 
    occasionally tunes in far-flung stations, that aren't normally 
    received in the area.  Well, today I 'picked up' a very grim note of 
    dedicated hostility towards NATO, and more specifically, towards the 
    US, from Mr. Radnajovic.  There was no mistaking it.  Also, there is 
    the fact that the Russians are sending seven warships into the 
    Mediterranean area right now.  And there's the connection with 
    Hussein, and the endless hostility of some of the Arab world's 
    leaders.  I don't know.  The situation looks bad.

    From the outset, I figured that we might wind up looking like 
    villains, while the Russians, and the anti-NATO forces would seem 
    good.  In other words, I have felt early on that this whole situation 
    might have a lot to do with high-level Satanic intelligences trying to 
    galvanize many disparate world forces together against NATO.  I know 
    that the main threat to the progress of world Communism (and a truly 
    Satanic world government) is NATO.  The Communists surely know that.  
    So, anything that can be done to make NATO look bad, is good in their 
    eyes.  It is very crucial to understand that, even though it should 
    seem perfectly logical to anyone that is even slightly aware of the 
    main dynamics of the Post Cold-War scenario.  Unfortunately, many 
    Americans don't even understand the simplest aspects of all of these 
    issues.  The other day, [NAME DELETED] asked me what NATO was.  Argh.  
    You know, even though she isn't American, you'd think that by reason
    of the fact that she lived through W.W.II in Germany, that she would be 
    aware of such important things as that.

    Passover is beginning.  I wonder what the Lord thinks of all of these 
    developments.  Sometimes it seems as if He is really going to allow 
    everything to just pour right down the drain.

    I think that one of the best ways for the US to handle this situation, 
    would be for us (and other NATO nations, of course) to offer asylum to 
    all of the Kosovian refugees that Albania and Macedonia can't absorb.  
    That would be about the only bloodless way for us to maybe come out of 
    this affair looking anywhere near good.  Just let the Serbs have 
    Kosovo, and be done with it.  After all, it is a very important and 
    historically significant part of Yugoslavia.  But we would definitely 
    have to issue an extremely stern warning to Milosevic about moving 
    anywhere beyond that point.  Otherwise, we are going to have to get 
    into it with him, in a big way.  And that will be no picnic, I can 
    tell.

    I feel somewhat ambivalent about all of this.  There are many reasons 
    why we might have to go to war against them, but then again, there are 
    are almost as many reasons why perhaps we shouldn't.  A very great 
    dilemma.

    If there was only a very short amount of time in which to make a final 
    decision about it, I would most likely be in favor of us sending in 
    troops, primarily to help preserve the integrity of the institution of 
    NATO.  That is ever so important.  But, I would prefer to have enough 
    time to bring them (the Serbs) to some kind of a peaceful compromise.

    Arkan said that the Serbians are willing to live peacefully with the 
    Albanians, and blamed the NATO bombings for the mass exodus of the 
    refugees.  The whole crux of the matter hinges on whether those people 
    can coexist peacefully in the Kosovo region.  Why not get them to help 
    tailor the main aspects of whatever peace agreement can be reached, 
    rather than have the NATO forces invade.  He also said that 'thirty 
    years of negotiations are better than one day of war.'  That sounded 
    pretty decent, right?  Let's see if they are really interested in 
    peace, is what I say.  If they are doves, let's be doves too.  He also 
    indicated that the KLA (which is an Albanian-sponsored organization, I 
    believe) has been trying to facilitate the annexation of the Kosovo 
    region into Albania.  He analogized the situation, by saying that the 
    US would not allow our state of Texas to secede, and be annexed by 
    Mexico, even if all of the people in it were of Mexican descent.  Good 
    analogy.  I'll bet that made a lot of people over here think about the 
    situation over there differently.  Probably got a lot of Canadians 
    thinking, too (considering the long, drawn-out fuss that has been 
    going on for years over the possibility of the province of Quebec 
    seceding from the Canadian union).

    Even though I know a lot more about all of these issues now, I still 
    don't feel as if I know enough.  I know practically nothing about 
    Milosevic, and the Yugoslavian government.  I have a very foggy 
    understanding of their history, and relations with the other ethnic 
    groups in the vicinity.  I am sure that filling in all of those gaps 
    would help anyone interested to reach a more educated conclusion about 
    what course of action should be taken by NATO.  I don't think it will 
    pay to be hasty.

--- nunavut.log
    You've not seen nothing
    Thu Apr 1 1999

    Video footage (from Yugoslavian television broadcasts) of the three 
    American servicemen (Stone, Ramirez and Gonzalez) that were captured 
    by the Serbs yesterday was shown today.  Looks like they had some kind 
    of a tussle with their captors; one of them appeared to have fairly 
    substantial bruises on his face.  They looked pretty angry, and it was 
    a bit eerie to see their images captioned with their names translated 
    into Cyrillic characters.  It almost seemed like they were Soviet 
    prisoners (Russia, and some of the nations in the Balkan area, use 
    that alphabet).  The Kremlin today issued a proclamation that 
    indicated that they consider the area to be a region of Russian 
    'geo-political interest.'  See?

    It is really sad to see all of those refugees endlessly streaming 
    across the Kosovo border into Albania and Macedonia.  I wonder if 
    those fascist jerks in the Yugoslavian government really care about 
    those people at all.  The fascist jerks here don't give a damn about 
    my situation.  The whole world seems to be ruled by thugs.

    I'm already sick of the whole thing.  Nobody gives a shit about what I 
    think, anyway.  I am hoping that the situation simmers down soon.  I 
    saw another interview (on NBC) with that character Arkan.  The correct 
    spelling of his full name is Zeljko Raznatovic.  This time he seemed 
    pretty threatening, and I am very sure that the deeply sinister 
    undercurrents that I sensed yesterday were real.  I think that those 
    Serbs have some kind of an ace in the hole, that has to do with 
    international terrorism.  There is a very high level of defiance at 
    play there that does not sit well with me at all.  I smell some kind 
    of a nasty blackmail scheme by the Communists behind all of it.

    I saw Wesley Clark, the Supreme NATO Commander.  He seemed fairly 
    sober and sturdy, but nervous, with a slightly quavering voice.  He 
    showed a long series of slides that depicted where the bombing sorties 
    were being done, and said that they are going to continue until the 
    Serbs stop 'cleansing.'  I don't think that many of the NATO people 
    were prepared for these developments.  Soon, they will be having their 
    50th anniversary celebration.  It is going to be a much more somber 
    affair, due to the unfolding events.

    I am not going to waste time by repeating my statements about how 
    upset I am at the policies of the western nations, concerning those 
    evil occultic practices that I hate so much.  All I am going to say, 
    is that they have been digging their own graves.  If they aren't 
    sensing that by now, they probably never will.  Those activities have 
    led to the moral and ethical destabilization of this nation (and I 
    suspect many of the other western nations, as well), and no doubt has 
    darkened us significantly in the eyes of the Lord.  I know that He 
    hates hypocrites.  These people that are calling themselves 
    Christians, and also kissing Baal, are going to 'receive their portion 
    with the hypocrites,' as promised, eventually.  Their dollar bills and 
    pfennigs will not save them.  That cup of filth and hand of whoredoms 
    with '666' invisibly inscribed upon them, and all of the people that 
    have partaken of the same, and accepted that mark, are going to be way 
    shocked when they finally realize what they have gotten themselves 
    into.  Hell.

    I would have liked very much to have had the opportunity to more 
    adequately warn them, but nobody called me.  They just laughed.  Now 
    it looks like they might have to deal with the consequences of their 
    stupidity.  I am not righteous, but the Lord certainly is.  I know 
    that he is not going to help a bunch of Satan worshippers.  Let them 
    continue 'doing that.'  Let them 'do that' all the live long day, 
    week, month, year, decade, century, millennium, eon, and on.  They can 
    'do that' eternally, if they really want to.

    It is wisdom to them.

    On a lighter note, today is the day that the new Canadian territory of 
    Nunavut (formed from the eastern division of the former Northwest 
    Territories) is officially established.  I will probably have a whole 
    lot more to say about it over the course of the year, because it is of 
    great interest to me.  Other files will contain various details.  I'll 
    bet the residents up there are all feeling pretty good.  Hopefully, 
    they had a very pleasant day.

--- japheth.log
    And Noah awoke from his wine
    Fri Apr 2 1999

    Did a little scrounging today.  Found a lot of miscellaneous items; a 
    small AM radio, an Escher calendar (one of my favorite artists), 
    assorted boxes and doodads, and an old version of the SimCity program 
    for the Mac, which I brought over to [NAME DELETED]'s, after debating 
    it internally at great length.  After all of the negative things that 
    I have experienced in association with her and the household, I have 
    almost decided to completely part company with them.  If they only 
    knew.

    Brad answered the door, and said that [NAME DELETED] was spending the 
    weekend with [NAME DELETED] in Cicero (where she, her baby and 
    boyfriend now live).  He said that he'd make sure to get the software 
    to her.  Brad is a good guy, basically, I think.  He used to date an 
    odd chick (late eighties; early nineties) named Jessica, that was all 
    obsessed with vampires, and the old Dark Shadows soap opera series.  
    She had tons of the episodes on videotape, and played them all the 
    time.  I think the main character's name was Barnabas something; 
    Jessica thought that her future soul-mate was going to look almost 
    exactly like him.  She showed me a picture that she'd drawn, based on 
    some kind of a vision she'd had, and I couldn't help but see a very 
    striking resemblance to Leonard Nimoy (Mr. Spock on Star Trek).  
    Strange lady - but aren't they all?  She and Brad broke up eventually, 
    and I think she moved downstate.

    They bombed two key governmental buildings in downtown Belgrade today.  
    They were nearly completely destroyed.  Various Yugoslavian officials 
    were all over the news networks today, complaining about the NATO 
    assault.  Almost all of them said that they wanted peace.  I also saw 
    some KLA people (based in London), that seemed to be slobbering over 
    the chance to go to war against the Serbs.  They are supposed to have 
    an army numbering somewhere around 30,000 strong, but are very poorly 
    (or not at all) trained, and have limited munitions.

    Christiane Amanpour (a CNN correspondent) said that she'd heard some 
    of the refugees tell tales about mass killings, but added that she was 
    unable to corroborate them.  It appears that Milosevic has ousted 
    something like a third of the ethnic Albanians from the Kosovo region.  
    People are saying that there is a good chance that he will now accept 
    some kind of an agreement with NATO soon.  I sure hope so, because if 
    we send in troops, the scene will surely get much uglier.  I still 
    think that there is a chance that the Russians have some kind of a 
    major sneaky play coming up.  I'll bet they don't like what is 
    happening.  Then again, as I've noted before, international politics 
    often seems to be choreographed by the forces of spiritual wickedness 
    in very high places.  One never knows.

    I am really tired of it.  Hopefully, it is resolved soon.

    I gave two of the purple pteranodons away today; one to Ching (the 
    girl in the video store on Argyle - she gave me some Asian movie 
    posters a few days ago), and the other to a lady that works in a dry 
    cleaning store on Clarendon; she let me have a really neat Lincoln 
    Park Zoo 'Caroling to the Animals' poster (dated December 6th - I 
    gave it to [NAME DELETED] for her birthday) that was displayed in her
    store window last year.  The neat thing about it, is that there is a
    cool graphic of three penguins (one holding a conductor's baton) in a
    row, with a big polar bear standing directly behind them.  I thought
    it was neat, because those creatures are symbols of the polar regions,
    which I like very much.

    It is good to see that our people are able to more or less come to 
    their senses in a short space of time.  I am sure that we will need as 
    much sobriety as possible in the coming years.  When things begin to 
    go wrong, many will be caught completely unawares.  Lots of folks are 
    very deeply embedded in ungodly foolishness.  The unexpected should be 
    anticipated, and where possible, prepared for.

--- arrow.log
    As they rounded the corner
    Sat Apr 3 1999

    Maybe today would be a good day for me to finally write a file about 
    the near-death/out-of-body experience that I had back in early 1989.  
    I've put it off for so long.  But I really don't feel much like 
    writing at all.

    Nah.  Now is not the right time.  I'll get around to it eventually.  I 
    feel really uneasy about many things at the moment.  Although I can't 
    say exactly how it is being done, I am fairly sure that there is a 
    pretty sophisticated espionage operation going on, that revolves 
    around my life; as crazy as it might sound, I am certain that the 
    people involved are reading these files.  You can call me a 
    schizophrenic, if you want.  I am not stupid.  It is happening.  
    Again, I can't say for sure exactly how I am being monitored - 
    probably in several different ways.  It is a monumental invasion of my 
    privacy.  Of course, I am furious about it, but there isn't much that 
    I can do to stop it.

    It appears to involve the little 'our gang' MOTB fraternal 
    demonization cult people; very likely a combination of the police, 
    Mafia and local politicians and media personalities.  You know, your 
    friendly neighborhood Satanists.  Probably the very same people that 
    set me up to be poisoned and violated by the disgusting voodoo 
    cultists.  I thank the Lord that none of those types will be members 
    of His Kingdom.  Many of them will sizzle.  Good.  I think that a lot 
    of them deserve it.  Of course, that is just my opinion.

    After nearly four years of this aggravating shit, there is no way that 
    I can think of anything nice to say about the people that have 
    perpetrated this miserable situation upon me.  If they can't see what 
    they're headed for by now, they very likely never will.  I thank God 
    that I am saved into Heaven.

    If they insist on playing Fascistic and Communistic games, they are 
    going to have that kind of a future.  That I know for sure.  If they 
    can't be coaxed away from the devil's sensibilities, they are going to 
    be totally overcome by Satan and his host.  That is what has been 
    happening.  There seems to be nothing that I can do to stop it.  Maybe 
    it is God's will.  Probably.

    I believe that I could help, but I have felt that I should wait to see 
    if anyone would respond to my writings.  Nobody has, so I have taken 
    that as a sign that I should just leave it all alone.  I may be going 
    home to the Lord soon.  If so, I pray that He will be as merciful as 
    possible to my family and friends.  Some days it seems like nearly 
    everyone is damned to hell.  The nightmarish crap on television would 
    have anyone in their right mind believing that from time to time.

    Satan has a very big family on Earth.  Like the Lord has told us, they 
    are going to be bundled, and cast into the fiery furnace, when the 
    time comes.  Think it's a joke?  Think again.  God is no Bozo.

    And the wheat is going into His barn.  The Sea of Glass.  We get the 
    olive branches, and they get the weeds.

    It's the Lord's righteousness that I look forward to.  I have no 
    righteousness.  None of us that are being saved do, really.  It's the 
    goodness of Jesus Christ that covers our sins, and insures our 
    salvation.  I wish that I could prove what horrors lie ahead for the 
    people that will not repent and accept the salvation of Christ.  The 
    fate of the seriously wicked people is going to be really awful.  They 
    have no idea.  If they did, they would stop all of their infernal 
    practices.  The funny thing, is that all of the evil spirits know what 
    is ahead.  Probably not perfectly.  But they know.  They all know.  
    And me, although I certainly am no evil spirit, I also know what lies 
    in the future, as far as the end of all of the wicked is concerned.  I 
    feel lucky to not be numbered amongst them.  Can't say that I 
    understand all of the gory details, but I absolutely know that God is 
    eliminating all of the willfully evil folks.  They that refuse to 
    repent.

    Make sure that you ask the Holy Spirit to seal your forehead with His 
    mark, to prevent you from being destroyed along with Satan, and his 
    beast-marked people.  All of these issues are very real, and you had 
    better take it seriously.  That little black dot is the beast.  It 
    symbolizes the devil, and his fate, I believe.  That's Sheol, Gehenna, 
    Hades, Tartarus, Hell, etcetera.  You don't want to go there.  Accept 
    Jesus, and be saved.

--- pneuma.log
    You are the sunshine of my life
    Sun Apr 4 1999

    I guess I really should begin to flesh out some of my personal 
    theories about what has been happening, ala the end-times scenario, 
    and what may be involved in the composition of the Lord's Kingdom, 
    etcetera.  I already have, somewhat, but there is much information 
    that I have been reluctant to record, because I am not very sure about 
    a lot of it.  It is very important to remember that much of what I 
    have been considering as possible, even if it is the absolute truth, 
    would be very difficult, if not impossible (at least at this time) to 
    prove.  The fundamentals, like the literal existence of devils, I am 
    very sure of, but other things, such as exactly where and what the 
    Kingdom of Heaven is, are a bit more unclear.  Most of my beliefs are 
    based on a combination of personal experience, and data gleaned from 
    the Bible, and related texts, that seems to support what I believe.  
    There is so much information, that I simply cannot cover it all in one 
    file, so I'll try to stretch it across several.

    I won't be very thorough, as regards correlating things in a 
    bibliographic sense, I just want to sort of sketch it all out, without 
    having to be burdened with the need for exactitude.  If I ever get the 
    chance to publish a more serious text, of course I will be more 
    exhaustive.

    Before I commence writing, I just want to say that I believe that many 
    of the strange experiences that I have had throughout the course of my 
    life, and in particular over the past ten or so years, quite possibly 
    could shed a great deal of light on many very important issues 
    relating to Biblical prophecy, and the fate of this world and it's 
    people.  In fact, I have felt for a very long time that the Lord may 
    actually want me to write about what I believe I know.  It almost 
    seems to be a mission that He has specifically selected me for.  If 
    that doesn't sound too high-falutin' for you, please read on...

    Maybe I should bother to put together a rude outline of what I would 
    like to disclose.  It almost seems as though I will have to be 
    somewhat thorough in my approach from the outset, if I am to get as 
    many people as possible to seriously consider the things that I think 
    may be quite possible.  It is just very tedious to have to wade 
    through texts in search of specific information.  No, I will keep it 
    as simple as possible.

    Even though (in regards to these matters) I, in many respects, am not 
    of very great importance, I'll begin with a bit of information about 
    my life.  The reader is reminded that the real focus should be on the 
    Lord, and what He may be trying to help us to understand, via my 
    relating these experiences, and my interpretations of them.

    From a very early age, I have wondered about the nature of the world 
    and of the universe.  Also, I have though about God a lot.  I have not 
    lived a perfect Christian life, but I believe that I have kept the 
    Lord in mind throughout most of it.  One way that I can kind of sum up 
    a very important aspect of the development of my spiritual awareness, 
    is that I have become progressively more and more aware over the years 
    of the concept of evil as an extremely intelligent and unbelievably 
    complicated force.  I'm sure that many people could say the same.  
    Also, I have discovered that the evil intelligences are parasitic, 
    that is, they literally invade the minds and bodies (in either 
    temporal, or more permanent instances) of the people that they seek to 
    manipulate.

    When one becomes aware of the reality of intelligent, dedicated evil 
    spiritual forces as a reality, it is nearly inevitable that some 
    degree of curiosity about why such things are existent will ensue.  
    Certainly, our culture is full of information that suggests that a 
    great many people have had experiences with the presence of such 
    spirits.  There is always the argument that the power of suggestion 
    alone might be enough to create favorable psychological conditions for 
    the manifestation of belief in such things.  But that, I firmly 
    believe, is simply not so.  They really exist.

    So, after coming to the conclusion that the spirits in question were 
    actual, and not figments of my, or anyone else's imagination, I had to 
    refer to the Bible to help me to sort out how to handle the 
    unpleasantness of such awarenesses, as well as to better understand 
    the position of man, in relation to those evil spirits.  The main 
    reason I felt comfortable with the Christian approach to such things, 
    rather than any other, is because I'd had a moderate amount of 
    experience with the Spirit of God throughout my life, and when these 
    understandings really began to crystallize, my faith enabled me to 
    more than adequately cope with every point of the sinister paradigms.  
    I began to really see that Satan and his host (operating within or 
    without human bodies) are truly subservient to God, and those of us 
    that properly wield the Holy Spirit against them.  I also began to 
    understand what the main enemies of the Spirit are; sin in general, of 
    course, but especially lust, greed, and unrighteous wrath.

    Those are the primary weapons that Satan and his unholy family attempt 
    to use against humans (as well as groups of individuals, such as 
    families, businesses and nations) that want to stay aligned with the 
    Lord.  If and when they are successful at evoking and maintaining such 
    bad spiritual conditions in the souls of their victims, they are able 
    to wield a very high degree of control over such individuals.  What it 
    comes down to, is that they are able to manipulate incredibly well the 
    people that they are able to keep in various states of ungodliness.

    The simple balance of life experience on this world, in this age, is 
    fear versus faith.  The absence of one equals the presence of the 
    other.  The best way to eliminate fear is to have an ongoing 
    relationship with the Spirit of God.  It is a must for anyone that has 
    become a target of the devil's unwholesome advances.  There is no 
    other way to adequately contend with Satan.  If you think so, feel 
    free to try and formulate your own prescription against the endless 
    wickedness of those little devils.  Whatever you come up with, it will 
    very likely be an utter flop.  There is absolutely no substitute for 
    the power of the Almighty.

    I'll admit that I have tried many and sundry ways to battle them 
    without God's help.  Ha.  Please don't bother making the same 
    mistakes.  The many occultic systems, talismans, rituals, etcetera, 
    very often worsen the spiritual atmosphere for most of the people that 
    put faith in those things.  Such methods often result in a very great 
    increase in superstition and fear, which is the perfect open back-door 
    for the operations of the devil.  Also, try not to be overly 
    influenced by people that claim to be seers, mediums or prophets.  
    Many such people are inhabited to some degree by evil spirits, 
    especially the ones that exact payments for their services.  I believe 
    that many have been led astray by such individuals.

    And definitely stay away from witchcraft, and other types of pagan 
    traditions.  All such practitioners are enemies of the Lord, no matter 
    what they might say and believe to the contrary.  The influence of 
    they that are members of such communities can be very difficult to 
    completely overcome.  I know the truth of this, from bitter 
    experience.  Try to pray for such people, if you know any, but never 
    join in any of their practices, because the spirits that are 
    controlling them, may very well attempt to take over your soul.  I 
    have some interesting (at least by my estimation) theories about 
    witches, and pagans in general, that I will put forth later.  
    Strangely, many of them seem to know very well that Christ is coming 
    to rule the world, but for various reasons, they refuse to accept Him 
    as Lord.  The Lord tells us that 'every tongue shall confess that 
    Jesus is Lord.'  It is so; even they that are in extreme opposition to 
    Jesus will admit that He is Lord above all.  Wait and see.

    There have been several key life experiences of mine, that have really 
    helped me to better understand the reality of the intense spiritual 
    warfare that is being waged on Earth, and beyond, in the Heavens.  The 
    most important, was my being rescued spiritually after having 
    something like a heart attack back in early 1989.  Rather than 
    providing the details here, I will prepare an entire file on that 
    alone.

    At this juncture, I will simplify things by saying that my 
    near-death/out-of-body experience is the most important foundation for 
    my faith in Jesus Christ.  The memory of it has provided me with 
    endless comfort over the years.  Even though I am still puzzled about 
    certain aspects of it (again, I will go into minute detail when I 
    finally prepare a file about it), it definitely has provided me with 
    the solid foundation of faith that has carried me through all of the 
    extremely miserable things that I have been enduring over the course 
    of these past few years.  It also has helped me to see, even more 
    clearly than before it took place, what a very awful spiritual climate 
    has been generally prevailing upon Earth in this age.

    Another very important experience that I have had, has to do with my 
    being tricked into some kind of an occultic 'set-up' back in July of 
    1995 by two people, whose names are C------ K----- and R------ A------ 
    [CHICAGO ADDRESS DELETED].  I was invited to come over and relax in 
    their backyard.  To have a few beers.  The main reason why I trusted 
    them, is because R. A------ mentioned that he knew an acquaintance of 
    mine.  Also, two friends of mine that were around at the very moment 
    that I met up with Mr. A------ seemed to know him, and didn't indicate 
    that there might be any cause for concern.  Big mistake.  Never trust 
    strangers.  I believe that the two are practitioners of some kind of 
    animistic religion, such as Vodoun or Santeria.  Something like that.  
    They definitely are servants of the devil.  They indicated that C. 
    K----- has something to do with the legal community; that she was 
    attending law school.  It is hard to believe that, because of what I 
    believe they may have done to me.  Very evil people, that I am fairly 
    sure are going directly to hell.  Sick bastards.  I don't like to hate 
    any people, but those two have really earned it from me.  The evil 
    situation that I strongly suspect they perpetrated upon me, has caused 
    me more grief and anger than almost anything else in my life.  I will 
    probably have to prepare a file entirely on that alone, also.

    Other very unusual experiences that have been important, generally 
    fall into two categories; dreams and visions.  I have had many bizarre 
    dreams, that have often seemed to have relevance to serious spiritual 
    matters - but it is often difficult to remember them.  The best I can 
    do, is to record the fragments of them that I can clearly recollect.  
    That is what I have done from time to time.  I will continue to do so, 
    because I think that it may become increasingly important.

    Now the visions...  I can divide them into two categories also; those 
    of spirits, and those of other things that seem to have relevance to 
    important spiritual matters.

    Several very importent instances of the latter variety, I had at 
    various areas along the lakefront, whilst relaxing, and gazing up at 
    the clouds in the sky.  To be perfectly honest about it, some of the 
    things that I saw were so completely strange and shocking, in certain 
    respects, that I have given a lot of thought to whether they might 
    have been artificially generated, using some type of very advanced 
    technology, that I am not aware of.  Certain types of peculiar inner 
    visual processes have caused me to consider the same possibilities.  
    There is no doubt in my mind that some kind of intelligence has been 
    directing and metering some, if not all of the things that I have seen 
    and experienced; the real question in my mind, is whether it has been 
    human, demonic, angelic, or a combination.  I would like to report 
    that all of what I have seen has been of God, but that, I believe 
    would be untrue.  This may go back to the point I made earlier about 
    avoiding the spiritual influence of people that are at odds with God.  
    Aspects of what I've seen and felt have been decidedly evil, so there 
    appears to be subjective evidence for at least some degree of 
    manipulation of my mind by forces in opposition to the Lord.  This, of 
    course, I deeply regret, because I think that my judgment may have 
    suffered greatly at times as a result.  But it is good, in that my 
    mind has always been kept alert, suspicious and focused on attaining 
    the highest degree of accurate spiritual discernment possible.

    The last important category of experience that I will mention, is of 
    the many unusual events that unfolded subsequent to my forwarding a 
    preliminary manuscript of an unfinished book that I have been 
    compiling (Odhinn Voodoo Buddha) to a woman (Lauren Cohn) that used to 
    work as a morning newscaster at the downtown news offices of ABC/WLS 
    Channel 7 (she since has jumped ship over to CBS/WBBM Channel 2).  
    There is a lot to write about concerning that.  Again, I will need a 
    file, or perhaps several, to properly treat it.  Much strangeness in 
    relation to my book.

    Those are the main categories of experiences that I have had, that 
    have led me to believe what it is that I think I know about God, the 
    Kingdom of Heaven, and what the basic dynamics of life on Earth in 
    this age are.

    One of the most disturbing conclusions that I have reached, is that 
    very few people appear to be worshipping the True God.  Or maybe, a 
    better way of putting it, would be to say that many folks just don't 
    seem to understand the grave danger of certain practices that lead to 
    a seriously compromised faith in the Lord.  In the Bible, we're told 
    that one 'cannot partake of the table of the Lord, and of the table of 
    demons,' and that 'no man can serve two masters, he must love the one 
    and hate the other'; things like that are very important to keep in 
    mind, especially in this age of morbid attempts at across-the-board 
    moral compromise in many areas where there really should be none at 
    all.

    Practically everyone in the United States, Christian or not, is 
    familiar with the concept of 'political correctness,' and the attempts 
    to implement it, in order to erase many age-old concepts of what is 
    right and what is wrong.  To me, it is a detestable institution.  I, 
    like many other Christians, am fully in favor of equity for all 
    members of our society, but not at the expense of those of us that 
    want to preserve a more classical view of certain moral, ethical and 
    social ideals.  To be in favor of eliminating the representation of 
    the beliefs of one group, in order to develop a more 'democratic' 
    civilization would be grand hypocrisy, because to restrict the 
    opinions of some, in order to permit the views of others, isn't the 
    way to bring about greater understanding, and social parity.  It is 
    completely chauvinistic.  Besides that, certain people are just plain 
    wrong.

    Anyhow, what is important to remember, is that, as Christians, we are 
    constantly at war with the devil.  We are not to try and accommodate 
    him, his people, and their sickening desires and practices.  If we do 
    this, we are no longer Christians, but pretenders.  This the devil 
    knows well, and he has had a very great degree of success, all 
    throughout the course of human history, as far as getting Christians 
    to compromise their faith is concerned, due to the general laxity of 
    spiritual fidelity.  It hasn't been difficult for him to deceive many 
    of the masses into worshipping him in many vile ways, while also 
    claiming faith in Jesus Christ.  Thus, there has almost always been a 
    large amount of deep hypocrisy at play in Christendom; it's just that, 
    at this apparently late date, you'd think that there'd be less of it 
    amongst the faithful, rather than more.  There seems to be more of it 
    than ever before, at least from the limited observations that I have 
    made during my lifetime.

    We must remember that the Lord hates Christian hypocrisy, especially 
    when it comes to those evil 'traditional' practices that so pollute 
    the true worship of Him.  He does not approve of the masses that seem 
    to have little or no problem at all with 'kissing Baal.'  Do not do 
    that.

    Well, I'll leave it there, for now.  As time goes on, I'll add meat to 
    the bones.  Remember, we are at war against the devil, and his people.  
    We cannot afford to be flakes.  Much is at stake.  The Lord will not 
    assist us, if He is displeased with our faith.  Keep all 
    anti-Christian practices out of your life.

--- darkie.log
    Scrubbin' de double bubble
    Mon Apr 5 1999

    Just saw Quoc, as I was throwing out some garbage; he was walking down 
    the alley.  I told him that I stopped by his Ma's a few days ago, and 
    that she'd said that he'd left for Tennessee.  He says that he's been 
    in the city since Christmas, and intends to stay, and continue 
    working.  I was tempted to offer to go get a few beers for us to 
    share, but quickly thought better of it.  He may be having a few 
    problems of his own, and I don't want to help cause any kind of 
    friction in his life.  It was good to see the dude.

    Looks like they are going to bomb ol' Milosevic until he has no choice 
    but to acquiesce to their demands for him to cease his 'cleansing' of 
    the ethnic Albanians from the Kosovo region.  I saw some footage of a 
    refugee camp today, and was appalled to see swarms of people lying on 
    nasty blankets in the mud.  A lot of them were coughing; some of them 
    are supposed to be seriously ill.  Lots of them looked like they 
    needed medical attention of some sort.  One gentleman said something 
    about ten to fifteen people dying in his camp each day.  Another 
    person, a female health worker, said that there are fears of a cholera 
    outbreak.  They all looked totally wretched; many women and children 
    were sobbing, and some of them appeared unable to move properly.  
    Everybody seemed to be very tired.  Really spooky stuff to see.  
    Scared looking crowds of scraggly individuals huddled in filthy tents, 
    sprawled in cardboard boxes, and more of them constantly arriving.  A 
    steady stream of displaced humanity.  Hmm.

    Maybe the dude will come around.  Maybe not.  Whatever happens, I am 
    fairly certain that NATO ground troops are going to be involved, 
    eventually.  Hopefully only as peacekeepers; to help usher the 
    refugees back home, and to assure their safety.  If most of those 
    people aren't returned to Kosovo, I will be sure that there is some 
    kind of behind-the-scenes high-level conspiratorial evil going on.  
    Something that involves the Russians, and probably various members of 
    the 'international community' (I can't stand that term).  I heard 
    someone mention that there are gold mines in Kosovo.  What may have 
    happened, is that a rich vein of ore might have been struck.  If so, 
    the Serbs (along with their allies, the Ruskies), of course, would 
    want to have complete control of it, and the entire region.  That 
    would make perfect sense to me, because I know that would explain why 
    the Soviets have been so quick to make moves against NATO.

    A few days ago, a Yugoslavian said something to the effect that he 
    believed that the USA (he specifically mentioned the CIA) and NATO are 
    responsible for the destabilization of the Balkan area, and in a 
    potentially greater sense, Europe.  I have heard the argument put 
    forth that a concerted effort by an Anglo-American combine was 
    primarily responsible for the collapse of what used to be known as the 
    USSR.  In fact, that source also said that the very same thing has 
    been scheduled for the United States and North America, at some future 
    date.  Maybe it is true.

    A repartitioning of this nation (and perhaps much of the rest of the 
    continent) has been envisioned by many disparate political 
    organizations, such as the Ku Klux Klan, and various other special 
    interest groups.  I don't think that the time is ripe for such 
    potential developments, but I do believe that the occultic lodges, and 
    their ongoing nefarious activities are nudging us ever closer to the 
    manifestation of such possibilities.  I think that a very big (but 
    seldom clearly understood) part of the reason why those 'traditional' 
    activities continue, is that they strongly reaffirm certain types of 
    racist views about various different social classes.  What is foggily 
    suspected about certain races, becomes crystal clear knowledge, when 
    the dark illumination of personal experience is cast upon those filthy 
    practices.  The eerie thing about it, is that the folks that are being 
    targeted for negative stereotyping, generally don't seem to be smart 
    enough to understand that they are being set up in a big way for what 
    I believe will ultimately be a program of mass relocations by the 
    federal government, perhaps even outright exterminations.  If they did 
    understand, there would be a very great clamor by many organizations 
    to bring those disgusting voodoo cults, and their sickening activities 
    to a swift end.  I guess there just aren't many intelligent people in 
    certain racial groups.  That's too bad.  I really believe that some of 
    the final consequences of those evil practices will be a phenomenal 
    rise of violent racism, and barbaric manifestations of murderous rage 
    on a heretofore unknown scale.

    All of this might sound real wild-eyed (especially since things are 
    currently running quite smoothly), but I am certain that a particular 
    series of destabilizing events could allow such extreme horrors to 
    quickly precipitate.  It is dangerous for a nation to deliberately 
    capacitate indignation and rage in any it's members.  It is never wise 
    to do that.  Happy citizens do not walk around with chips on their 
    shoulders, you see.  Mass destruction will be the end result.  It all 
    hinges on the economy.

    Alas; if only the demented serpent-cultists would stop their 
    anti-Christian MOTB system.

--- djinn.log
    The little dog laughed to see such a sight
    Tue Apr 6 1999

    Few people know the truth of it.  There is a lot of very funny 
    material in the Bible.  Nobody ever really thinks of it, because 
    nearly everyone is obsessed with the frightening prophecies of the 
    fearsome future ahead.  There is much mirth.  One of my very favorite 
    examples is Habakkuk 2:19, where we are warned in a wry way against 
    the worship of idols.  Very likely, the writer wasn't attempting to be 
    comedic, but I can't help but chuckle over those lines.  There are 
    many other examples that I can think of, but I won't bother to point 
    them out now.  Really, this is no time to be looking for humor in the 
    Lord's word, but it is good to know that God took great care to 
    include some very amusing passages in both the Old and New Testaments.

    I think that all of us that love God should be praying for Him to 
    continue to be as merciful as possible towards mankind.  It is very 
    easy for many of us to lose our patience with others.  At least, I 
    know it is for me.  But I am really amazed when I consider how 
    fantastically forbearing the Lord is with the world.  It really cheers 
    me to remember His kindness.  Takes the chill off of the often frosty 
    reality of human social relations.  What these people call love is a 
    poor substitute for the real thing, for sure.

    Loving one another.  Yeah.  These folks don't know how.  What they 
    call love is usually an extremely carnal counterfeit version of the 
    true concept.  I have experienced very little sincere affection here 
    on Earth.  I've always tried to be as friendly as possible, but have 
    seldom experienced a commensurate degree of reciprocity.  Many of 
    these characters are emotionally unhealthy.  Severely.

    So much free-floating hostility is in the air at times, that it almost 
    becomes difficult for me to breath properly.  It can be very 
    oppressive and cloistering.  The weight of it often has me feeling 
    very morose.  The ironic thing, is that I am not at all a depressive 
    person.  My basic character is very upbeat, almost disgustingly so.  I 
    have excessively focused on various woes over the past few years, as 
    a result of the intensely disagreeable psycho-spiritual circumstances 
    that I have had to endure.

    I have nearly completely lost all faith in the idealistic concept of 
    the United States of America.  It is a sad thing, because I really 
    used to love our country.  I still love it somewhat, but after all of 
    this bad treatment, there is no way that I'll ever have the same good 
    feelings about this land.  It is a sham, in many respects.  We are 
    still a great nation, but mostly in the technical sense - not where it 
    really counts.  Though some of our citizens are still reasonably kind, 
    there is no real collective good conscience and heart left.  Too many 
    dollar bills, I think.

--- darpa.log
    One nation under God
    Wed Apr 7 1999

    I am just hoping and praying that I will find some way to leave this 
    insane city.  Maybe even the nation.  I am convinced that the MOTB 
    paradigm is real; that all components of such a system have already 
    long been developed, and are now being tested on selected groups of 
    people.  Perhaps it has gone far beyond that, even.  There is very 
    little doubt in my mind that the situation is real.

    Again, as I may have mentioned before, I am continually reminded of an 
    episode from the second 'Star Trek' series, titled 'The Game.'  Anyone 
    that has watched it will know what I mean, if they also are aware of 
    what seems to be rapidly developing.  The people that are playing the 
    hellish 'game' that the anti-Christian forces are perpetrating seem to 
    be virtually unable to understand that they are really going to wind 
    up in hell.  That helps me to understand what is meant in the Bible 
    about their 'minds being seared with a hot iron.'  I really wish that 
    there was some way to snap them out of it, because I am perceiving 
    that a huge amount of souls are going to be eternally lost.  The Lord 
    tells us that everyone that accepts the MOTB is going to the Lake of 
    Fire, that has been prepared for the devil, and his angels.  I 
    certainly don't want to go there, and I won't.

    Many Christians often talk about how certain groups of people, such as 
    Jews and Communists, are often extremely unresponsive to the message 
    of the Gospel.  I have learned, to my utter astonishment, that many 
    Christians are unresponsive to certain extremely important aspects of 
    the true message of Jesus Christ.  Jesus extensively warned us about 
    demons.  Many Christians doubt, or don't believe at all that they 
    exist.  Jesus told us to stand against the MOTB, and the Great Harlot 
    (which I believe are basically the same thing), and her cup of filth.  
    Many Christians appear to be fully compliant with the insanity of 
    those realities.  Jesus warned that believers would be delivered up to 
    affliction, and hated all throughout the world for His name's sake.  
    It appears to be happening, and worsening every year.  I understand 
    these things, and I am sure that at least a few others do, but many 
    people just seem to want to continue to 'do that.'  How it is that 
    they are able to so easily ignore the sinister meanings of those 
    practices, I can't say, but it is scary.  That is the MOTB/Mystery 
    Babylon paradigm; I am more sure of it each and every day.  
    Participating in that system is accepting the 'religion,' and curses 
    of the serpent, Satan - the original murderer, who began his career by 
    inspiring Cain to murder Abel.  That unholy shit is no game.  I am 
    sure that many people are going to hell because of those rituals.  
    Think about it.

    I have determined that the US (along with various other nations) very 
    well matches up with some of the main negative symbols that are 
    depicted in the end-time scenario of the Bible.  I don't feel like 
    being too specific, because it is really difficult to be completely 
    sure about what I am perceiving.  I just know that there appears to be 
    a profound deficit of wholesome behavior, sanity and common sense 
    here, and I know for a fact that there are some tremendously powerful 
    evil spirits at play in our culture.  One of the things that many 
    folks just can't seem to grasp, is that those spirits can operate in 
    all different kinds of people.  It seems that they can move very 
    easily from one type of culture to another.  That probably would 
    explain why, for instance, people in general can't distinguish the 
    kind of misfortune that has happened to me, from the crimes that the 
    Nazis perpetrated upon their victims during W.W.II.  It is the exact 
    same type of evil, probably being perpetrated by the very same groups 
    of malevolent intelligences.

    Many people just can't fathom that, because the sick thing that has 
    been done to me was perpetrated by a Jew (C------ K-----) and a black 
    (R------ A------).  I know what I am talking about, but if I tried to 
    explain it to others, many would not understand.  They cannot make the 
    connection.  Evil is evil.  The demons that were involved in the bad 
    thing that has happened to me are the very same ones that effect 
    atrocities in cultures all throughout the world.  There is no real 
    difference between murderous cults of one kind or another; they are 
    all Satanic.  But somehow, the situation in America has 'evolved' in 
    such a way, that allows for many of our stupid people to somehow fully 
    accept the evil abominations of those voodoo cultists, and even in 
    many instances to view them as somehow being 'good.'  Wacky.  There is 
    no difference between what they do, and the evil of, for instance, the 
    Nazis, or the Communists.  They are all practicing murderers, and 
    should never be tolerated in any truly Christian civilization.  I hope 
    that God hates what they do, and what they have done to me.  I'm 
    fairly sure that He does.

    Just today I saw a very interesting explanation of a new technology 
    that was described as a 'bio-chip.'  It has very profound 
    implications, especially for the field of medicine.  Basically, it's 
    an array of thousands of very small sponges, about a micron square 
    each, that all have specific DNA information added to them by a 
    robotic process.  A prepared fluid solution that is to be tested is 
    applied to the array; if similar biological materials are present in 
    the liquid, they bond with the appropriate areas of the matrix, thus 
    providing a very efficent way of quickly investigating and identifying 
    the chemical composition of substances.  The technology was developed 
    by a combine of several very different organizations, including DARPA, 
    and several Russian scientific institutions, including the Russian 
    Human Genome Project.

    I remember [NAME DELETED] being very upset about seven or eight years 
    ago about a technology transfer agreement that had been reached 
    between the state of Illinois, and an area in the Russian confederacy 
    known as Georgia.  He seemed to be spilling over with bad feelings 
    about it.  That was fairly near the start of his association with the 
    DTIC, and he seemed paranoid about a great many things.  I'll bet he'd 
    be interested in the bio-chip technology.  It will speed up, and make 
    far more economical, many different types of important medical 
    research.

    Concerning the Balkans; there are a lot of misgivings about the 
    military role of the US, on the part of many commentators.  One 
    gentleman pointed out that we have not much more than a million 
    enlisted persons in our armed forces, and seemed to be suggesting that 
    there might be important reasons for us not to commit any ground 
    troops.  Others talked about Albright and Clinton having some kind of 
    vendetta against people in the region, or something like that.  
    Another guy expressed dismay about the fact that during a recent press 
    conference, Clinton said that he was 'reading up on the area' (the 
    Balkans).  The fellow explained that such a statement didn't help him 
    to feel confident about the President's role as Commander-In-Chief.  I 
    see his point, but at least Clinton was being honest, and expressing 
    his poor understanding of the region.  I am not very aware of the 
    historical dynamics of that area of the world either.  It is never 
    wise to pretend to know more than you do, especially when in a 
    position of authority.  If your lack of accurate knowledge is exposed, 
    your credibility suffers.

    I wonder if I should try and convince Frank Babula to help finance a 
    project for Mr. [NAME DELETED] and I.  If I put together a decent 
    explanation of what it is that I'd like to develop, it might actually 
    go over very well with Frank, and some of his associates.  I'm sure 
    that he would be nice enough to circulate a few copies of whatever 
    proposal coalesces.  I really want to try and prototype some of the 
    things that I have been wanting to manufacture.  But I'm not sure 
    whether I can trust the guy.  Even [NAME DELETED] doesn't seem very 
    trustworthy at times.  But the dude is one of the best friends that I 
    have left, and he has a lot of technical expertise that would take me 
    years to acquire.  It is almost ridiculous to consider going forth 
    without him.  If only I could get him to really accept Christ.  The 
    man upstairs will take care of it, I hope.

--- toe.log
    Nail-biting action
    Thu Apr 8 1999

    Not long ago, I watched Clinton give a fairly long speech on various 
    reasons why Americans should be interested in improved relations with 
    China.  The Chinese premier, Zhu Rongji, is now in the US, and will 
    visit a half-dozen or so cities (including Chicago) over the next 
    week.  I don't quite understand how his authority compares with that 
    of Jiang Zemin, but all by all indications, he is a very important 
    figure in the Chinese political pantheon.  China loosened some of 
    their restrictions on imports of American agricultural goods, and that 
    is supposed to help them tremendously with groups like the World Trade 
    Organization.  There is a great deal of complexity to issues 
    concerning China, and it's relations with the western nations; it 
    really tasks the mind to try and reach a decisive conclusion about 
    what, for instance, the US attitude towards them should generally be.

    Ideally, I would like the US to primarily play the role of an usher 
    that comfortably seats China in the theater of free-market world 
    economic matters.  That is the main focus of most Americans that are 
    involved with them now; the next most important concerns would 
    probably be education, and cultural and technological exchanges.  I 
    would very much so like to see Christian missionary efforts stepped 
    up, but I am very sure that there would be much opposition to that by 
    many of the Chinese politicos.  It is very important for us to bring 
    the message of the Gospel to them; I can't stress it enough.  It will 
    prevent an increase in negative spiritual cross-fertilization.  Please 
    think about that.

    Part of the reason why we have been having such a profound increase in 
    evil spiritual manifestations, I believe, has to do with the spiritual 
    ramifications of the intensification of our social, political, 
    scientific and economic connections with Asia in general, not just 
    with China.  But China is the largest piece of the complete puzzle of 
    Asia, of course, and we must take great care to influence them more 
    strongly as regards religion, meaning Christianity.  We must include 
    the active Spirit of God in all of our dealings with them.  Otherwise, 
    we may well be far more manipulated by them (and Communism in general) 
    than we already currently are.  What that could mean ultimately, I 
    will leave up to the worthy professionals to predict.

    The spirit of Communism has often proven to be very murderous, and if 
    we cannot call upon God to quench that force, it will infect us even 
    more gravely than it already has.  Make no mistake, Communism in 
    spiritual respects is decidedly anti-Christian.  Many very savage acts 
    have been carried out by some of the nations that have embraced 
    collectivist political philosophies.  Some of them have been on a very 
    large scale, if you know what I mean.  I am not imagining things.  The 
    democratic nations have not been slouches when it comes to barbarity, 
    to be sure, but when you start counting the toe tags racked up by the 
    Fascists, Socialists, Communists, etcetera, you'll begin to get the 
    picture.

    In Communist nations, TV watches you.

--- loop.log
    Those bad mice
    Fri Apr 9 1999

    Did a lot of cleaning and organizing today.  Yesterday (Thursday 
    afternoon and evening), actually.  Finally sorted through all of the 
    vinyl albums that I had stored in some metal crates.  I was surprised 
    to find several Gary Numan LPs, as well as a lot of other stuff that 
    was in the collection.  I decided to discard as much extra clothing as 
    possible; I don't wear most of it anyway.  [NAME DELETED] is always
    loading me up with the stuff.  A lot of it doesn't fit well.

    I will be working hard in this room for another full week.  It will 
    take at least that much time to completely go through everything.  The 
    papers and memorabilia I'll finish lastly.  I want to remain calm, and 
    just keep diligently plugging through it all.  The insanity of the 
    sheer volume of items in this apartment sometimes can really wear on 
    my nerves.  I will never have a home this full of things.  Maybe a 
    storage area.

    What a lame existence I have.  I've got to get out of here and go find 
    myself a wife.  That is going to be a real task.  There is no way that 
    I'm going to be happy without a decent family life.  This urban shit 
    is sickening.  I can't even stand thinking of all of the things that 
    are wrong anymore.  It's not my fault that people are the way that 
    they are.  I want to get away from all of the mentally ill creeps that 
    have been perpetrating the brand of wickedness that I've been 
    describing.  They are sick.  There is nothing that can be done to help 
    them.  They are too far gone.

    There are a lot of very, very strange things that I have seen, that I 
    would like to describe, but when I get close to feeling comfortable 
    enough to begin relating the details, suddenly, it seems better to 
    wait until another time.

    Some days, I think that it would be absolutely safe to stay here in 
    Chicago, and start a business, or something.  But at other times, that 
    seems to be completely out of the question.  These people just don't 
    know what is going on.  Or maybe they do, and are severely in denial 
    about it.  This city seems to be some kind of a major spiritual 
    landing pad, for very unwholesome intelligences.  I guess nobody has 
    given much though to the Ferris wheel that is installed at Navy Pier.  
    Sounds silly; but I know what I mean.  The people downtown in the Loop 
    just don't get it.

--- seagull.log
    The Vengabus is coming
    Sat Apr 10 1999

    It is really amazing to realize how easily the mind can be drawn away 
    from a righteous frame of reference in this atmosphere.  Evil thoughts 
    are always distracting me.  I am trying to pray constantly.

    I saw a Christian television program called 'Carmen' last night that 
    depicted Satan and a demonic (in a kind of semi-parody) character 
    engaged in a conversation about the main threat to their success - 
    believing, praying Christians.  It was great.  Something about it 
    reminded me of my friend Carlos Santiago - he would have loved it.  At 
    one point in the talk between Satan and the demon, the fact that 
    children in the US see something in the neighborhood of 14,000 murders 
    depicted on television by the time they are teenagers was mentioned 
    (the lesser devil was giving a glowing report to Satan about it; in a 
    demonic 'good news' context).  I have heard people complain about 
    that, and other related issues, but it was real eerie to see those two 
    devilish characters mention it.  The little imp even replied to 
    Satan's question, 'has it been successful?' (regarding the kids seeing 
    the murders acted out on TV), by saying grinningly, 'just take a look 
    at the news!'  Yeah.  Eek.

    Satan has been very successful indeed.  The minds of many people are 
    just swimming and leaping with many varieties of wickedness.  I sense 
    the disease of darkness oozing from the pores of many of the 
    characters on television, as well as in everyday walk-around life.  
    One of the saddest things that I have had to learn, is that what can 
    appear to be a charming kindness emanating from some folks often 
    isn't.  People sometimes have very carefully constructed personality 
    facades.  A thin veneer that, when peeled back, often reveals a nasty 
    ol' boogie.  When considering all this, I am reminded of the form of 
    Good and Plenty candies.  That is how a lot of people are.  Pink and 
    bright on the outside, with pitch black innards.  Brr.

    I have witnessed so many disgusting, disturbing things on television 
    over the years.  I won't waste time with descriptions; many others 
    have seen them as well.  It is obvious to me that TV (and other media) 
    has been heavily used to bring about a radically evil shift in mores 
    over the past few decades.  The result, is that we now have a 
    civilization that is at least as desensitized to (nearly all forms of) 
    human cruelty as they were back in ancient Rome.

    Also, on that same show (Carmen), the host had a conversation with a 
    guy who extensively talked about the problem of 'generational' ritual 
    abuse Satanism.  Very big problem.  It will lead to the downfall of 
    the US, if it continues; I am surprised that it hasn't already.  It 
    almost seems to be endemic.  Mention was made of the fact that victims 
    often are raised to believe that their families are Christians, but 
    eventually they discover that it is only a front for the Satanic 
    activities.  That really hit home with me, because it is exactly what 
    I have been perceiving over the course of the past few years.  I am 
    absolutely certain that a lot of the ministers that I have been 
    watching on television are actually members of Satanic cults.  I am 
    not going to accuse anyone, because I know nothing specific about 
    their private lives.  It's just a feeling that I get.  A frightening 
    thought.

    Boris Yeltsin made some very threatening comments yesterday, in 
    conjunction with the continued military actions of NATO in the 
    Balkans.  Some warbirds on Nightline said that he wasn't 'playing with 
    a full deck.'  I believe that they can't understand, because just like 
    I expected, their demonic residents are preventing them from seeing 
    the writing on the wall.  I think that some really bad things may 
    happen.  The zombies will not listen to reason.  That's too bad.

--- zephyr.log
    As I was going to Saint Ives
    Sun Apr 11 1999

    I have tried to sort out and make sense of the incredible jumble of 
    strange experiences that I have had in my lifetime thus far.  Coming 
    to definite conclusions about certain aspects of what I've been 
    through isn't simple.  I have been praying a lot, but sometimes, it 
    even seems like the Lord is allowing the evils that I have been 
    decrying to continue and worsen.  Also, I have given thought to the 
    possibility that the evil activities that I have spoken of are not the 
    MOTB system.  I think that they are, but of course, I could be wrong.  
    Again, as I believe I have said before, even if I knew for an absolute 
    fact that those 'traditions' were the MOTB, it would still be 
    difficult to convince many people to abandon them, because the force 
    of peer pressure appears to be a very significant factor.  When one 
    considers why such irrational and sinister practices persist in a 
    (so-called) Christian society, in spite of the apparent match-up with 
    dark Biblical symbology, the cursory answer seems to have something to 
    do with a sort of peer pressure that allows that filth to be 
    acceptable in the eyes of the (by my estimation) sorry fools that 
    participate in that damnable system.

    Certainly, the deeper answer has everything to do with the reality of 
    the unseen evil spiritual realities.  I would like to begin to go into 
    some of the issues that I have been avoiding; descriptions of 
    shuddersome things that I have seen, as well as a few (apparently - 
    one never knows) nicer visions.  Now may be the time.

    First, I would like to say that this has been one of the days that I 
    have been 'raving' (as [NAME DELETED] puts it).  Sometimes the 
    frustration over all of the shit that I have been enduring gets to me, 
    and I try to express it as best as I can to [NAME DELETED], who often 
    responds with unbounded hostility.  I may have mentioned that I 
    strongly believe that there is some kind of electronic bug in the 
    house. There are also wiretaps, very likely.  These kinds of 
    suspicions might seem silly (to someone that doesn't know about the 
    kinds of things that I do).  They seem ridiculous to [NAME DELETED], 
    even though I have gone to very great lengths to try and explain to 
    her how such a thing might be accomplished.  It is probably a system 
    where the audio of our conversations is transcribed, and put onto an 
    Internet web page.  That would explain why it seems that so many media 
    people appear to be 'hip' to the things that [NAME DELETED] and I have 
    been discussing.

    She doesn't exactly understand why it is that anyone would be 
    interested in what we talk about.  I have told her that she isn't 
    aware of the extremely odd phenomena that unfolded after I delivered 
    the unfinished manuscript of my book (Odhinn Voodoo Buddha) to Lauren 
    Cohn (who I hoped would assist me in getting it edited and published; 
    I believe she (and/or others) may have opted rather to steal it from 
    me.  If so, that's too bad).

    Well, anyway, that is the main reason why I believe that our home is 
    bugged.  I am nearly 100 percent sure of it.  Even worse, it appears 
    to have been going on for several years, and seems to not be conducted 
    by the CIA or the FBI.  If that were so, it wouldn't bother me much.

    The private sector is spying on us, along with (probably) local 
    governmental agencies.  It is really offensive, because the people 
    that are supposed to be looked up to as our authorities are allowing 
    it to happen, apparently.  So, that is compounding my aggravation.  My 
    life has become some kind of diversion for a bunch of unapologetic 
    Satanic assholes.  After they poison and afflict their victims, the 
    ghouls watch the progression of their sufferings by spying on them in 
    their homes.  Those people are some real jerks, whoever they are.  
    Spiders, vultures or vampires is more like it.

    Here's one example (that will help to explain why I suspect/know that 
    this is happening):

    A while ago, I began to have very strange and unpleasant feelings 
    about [NAME DELETED], and [NAME DELETED]'s household.  I am not going 
    to be specific, because I don't want to come across as being 
    accusative.  I'll just say that I feared (and still do) that someone 
    might be molesting [NAME DELETED].  I had some very ominous 
    forebodings about it, and couldn't ignore them, although I hoped that 
    I was just paranoid.  I expressed my worries to [NAME DELETED] out
    loud, over the course of several weeks.  Subsequently, there was a
    veritable explosion of conversational occurrences in the media that
    indicated to me that people had been listening to our talks here at
    home.  This went on for months, and is ongoing.  It was/is really
    unbelievable.

    The worst thing of all, is that many people seemed to be wickedly
    laughing about my worries.  The endless mocking really let me know (in 
    yet another way) that many of these people have very deep problems 
    that have a lot to do with demonic possession.  The concept of 
    children being harmed should never give anyone cause to feel mirthful.  
    The many ways that people 'made light' of those touchy issues really 
    scared me.  Those are clear signs of the presence of evil spirits.

    That situation really helped me to become aware of the reality of the 
    espionage.  We were being spied on.  I was convinced.  Also, it became 
    apparent to me that the people doing the spying are extremely evil 
    folks, the kind that approve of child molestation, and other forms of 
    extreme immorality.  Godless people.  I really hate those types.  One 
    thing that I have learned over the years, is that there is no 
    reasoning with that kind of a crowd.  They are just like many drug 
    addicts and homosexuals.  If you even try to approach them in a 
    friendly way, they think that you share their interests.  Once they 
    realize that you don't, many of them become fantastically hostile.  
    That is largely because of their fear of exposure and condemnation.  
    They use their anger to cover up their pathetic orientations and evil 
    lifestyles.

    I know that all of us are sinners, so I try to never be heavily 
    judgmental.  But when the life and happiness of your loved ones are 
    at stake, it is difficult not to be.  That so many people would laugh 
    about the well-being of my little daughter really disturbed me 
    greatly.  That struck a strong sour note with me.  My cynicism 
    increased exponentially as a result.

    I don't want to expand on this much more; but I'll mention that there 
    even seemed to be subjective evidence that [NAME DELETED] may have 
    gotten wind of my suspicions.  Now, even I tried to talk myself into 
    believing that I was being irrational and paranoid, to think something 
    like that.  But as horrible as it might seem, it just might be so.  
    There are very pervasive subcultures (Satanists, witchcraft groups, 
    etcetera) in this nation that often revolve around molestation, 
    murder, rape and many other unpleasantries.  I know that they exist.  
    I suspect that [NAME DELETED], and some of her friends (one of which I 
    know for a fact is a Satanist - Amy) may be involved with such a 
    group.  Such people are often very sophisticated - they network; even 
    if [NAME DELETED] isn't directly involved with what has happened in my 
    life, someone may be relaying information in some way to her about it.  
    Or, she may actually have become a witch, or worse.  Maybe she and her 
    friends have tried to curse me.  There have been times when it has 
    seemed quite possible.  That might be the case.  Ha.

    I just wanted to unload my feelings about that.  Now, on to the 
    visions; I'll start with a disagreeable one.  The nicer ones can wait.

    Well, before I begin (another digression), I really should explain 
    that the very first person that helped me to take seriously the 
    concept of demons was a friend of mine, [NAME DELETED].  She moved my 
    perception of them from the figurative level to the literal, 
    experiential level.  She helped me to believe and know.  Not directly, 
    as in an occultic sense where such beings are summoned up, but in a 
    rather circuitous way.

    In fact, the whole account of how I met her, the things that we did 
    together, and conjunctive stories about many of the friends and 
    associates that we had during the time of our relationship, would 
    really be the most proper way to go about doing this.  But there is 
    just too much information to tangle with.  It is all very interesting.  
    I am hoping to write a very detailed book about all of it someday.  
    For now, what I describe will have to be abridged.

    Soon after she and I met, we became comrades, and began to socialize 
    with several friends that we had in common.  Very peculiar, that [NAME 
    DELETED].  Her mother had recently committed suicide, and she was very 
    distraught about it, understandably.  However, her charming 
    personality was extremely engaging, and in retrospect I have to remark 
    that it is amazing how upbeat she was, in general.  I think that part 
    of the reason why we got along so famously, is because we were both 
    suffering from profound losses; mine was my aforementioned ex-wife.

    At one of our little social events, as she and I were walking through 
    a hallway (in a building on Wilson avenue) towards an elevator, I had 
    my very first clear look at a demon.  It manifested from within her, 
    and the thing about it that made it so definite, wasn't so much the 
    visual aspect of the experience, but rather the accompanying 
    powerfully evil feelings.  It was reddish, and the visual was very 
    brief, but real.  It was almost as if she had strongly blushed; but we 
    were in a very dim hallway, and the 'blush' was a sort of low-light 
    incandescence that revealed an unexpected presence.  It appeared in 
    her face, and then quickly disappeared.  It was so real, that I spoke 
    some rebuking words against it, which I can't exactly recollect at 
    this time.  I do recall speaking against it in the name of Jesus 
    Christ, which of course, is the proper way to interact with any bad 
    spirit.  If any of the readers ever have a similar encounter, please 
    remember to respond to such unclean intelligences by immediately 
    calling on the Spirit of God.

    My shock was mild, but definite.  [NAME DELETED] widely smiled, and 
    said 'what?' when I reacted as I did.  I have since learned from other 
    such experiences that people often are not at all aware of the 
    presence of evil spirits representing themselves through their bodies.  
    Many people don't believe that such things are actually real.  But 
    after you have viewed them with your own eyes, you know for sure that 
    they are real.

    I told her what I'd just seen, and I can't remember what she said, but 
    I do know that she knew of the reality of demons, and spoke of them on 
    many occasions prior to and subsequent to this incident.  In fact, I'd 
    even poked fun at her a time or two about her prattlings about such 
    things, even though I'd had many odd spiritual experiences before 
    meeting her.  I had already sensed the presence of evil as a definite 
    intelligence in many situations, but I'd never seen anything clearly 
    like that.  I made a note of it later, in one of her journals, which 
    she probably still has.  This took place in late 1988, or early 1989.

    Now, I want to reiterate that I'd had some very profound spiritual 
    encounters (I am thinking specifically of two separate incidents; one 
    that involved Carlos, and another with Ru and Justice - I'll describe 
    them in another file) before this occurrence, some of which involved 
    heavily negative forces.  Again, not to put too fine a point on it, 
    the big difference here, is the visual factor.

    Ok, that was just the beginning.  Her and I had many, many other 
    profoundly strange experiences and adventures that I'll put into 
    writing as I find the patience to do so.  I am certain that lots of 
    people have had these sorts of happenings in their lives, but few feel 
    like talking or writing about them.  There is way too much silence 
    about such things.  What I have just described is a really mild 
    affair, compared to some of the more bizarre manifestations that I 
    have seen.

    Now, I am going to leave off describing any other instances for now.  
    It seems to take a lot of energy out of me to write this stuff down.  
    I would like to say that actually seeing an evil spirit is a very 
    important development in the life of a Christian, because some 
    hard-core groundwork for active faith in God can be lain, depending on 
    the kind of reaction that the perceiver has.  I must stress that the 
    correct reaction, is to call upon the Spirit of God immediately.  That 
    is the right way to deal with those devils.  If you attempt to relate 
    to them in any other way - outside of the authority of the Holy Spirit 
    - you are treading on very thin ice indeed.  Lemme tell ya (which is 
    something that dear [NAME DELETED] used to say a lot).

--- photovor.log
    Only electric vehicles are there
    Wed Apr 14 1999

    The Lord has been very kind to me.  I went scrounging several days 
    ago, and found (in one of the alleys where I am always finding all 
    sorts of decent items) an excellent monochrome computer monitor.  Not 
    the typical kind, that can only display DOS screens, but a really nice 
    one, that can display VGA in greyscales.  Nice.  About a month ago, 
    while out on a dig, I found a discarded AST 386, which I almost didn't 
    retrieve (I'd been seeing all sorts of abandoned computers and 
    components throughout the neighborhood, and most of them are usually 
    inoperative, or badly in need of repair; the 386 with the gas plasma 
    display that I found a few months back being a notable exception, of 
    course).  When I got the monitor home, and hooked it up to the AST, 
    the screen popped up; it works.  I am working on it right now.  It has 
    a 100MB hard drive, and best of all, it has both types of standard 
    floppy drives, and an IRWIN tape drive, to boot.

    I have been working feverishly for the past two days.  Finally, I have 
    been able to take care of a number of important data tasks that I have 
    been thinking of for (literally) years.  Backed up the Psion; backed 
    up my LOG files; transferred various information to 1.44 floppies - 
    there's a plethora of wonderful things to do, now that I have the 
    proper tools for the tasks.  The real challenge will be to try and 
    hook up the IBM to the AST, and do file transfers.  That will be 
    scary.  But if it works, and I'm able to smoothly synchronize the two 
    machines, and easily shuffle files between them, it'll be grand.  I'll 
    be very happy.  I am already very happy.

    Probably, a lot of people just wouldn't understand why I would feel so 
    elated over a few outmoded PCs like these.  The main thing to 
    remember, is that I really love computers.  A lot.  They have provided 
    more constructive happiness and sane entertainment for me than 
    anything else.  And the reason why my love of them is so much more 
    sincere than many others' fickle affections towards the things, is 
    because I still remember the days when eight kilobytes of RAM cost 
    something like five hundred dollars.  Those people explaining the Y2K 
    thing aren't kidding; computer memory was very dear back in the 
    seventies and early eighties, and every attempt was made to squeeze 
    the most use possible out of it.  I remember trying to minimize BASIC 
    programs that I was writing in every way imaginable; abbreviating 
    words, using only one-letter variables, placing multiple commands on 
    one line, etcetera.  Those were fun times, because you really had to 
    use your brain to get the most out of computing.  Nowadays, it seems 
    that everyone is spoiled by all of the sophisticated software and 
    cheap memory that is available.  It is really amazing how quickly the 
    home computer revolution took place.  The entire developed world has 
    been profoundly changed because of it, to say the least.

    I have been ignoring the news, because all it does is get me worrying 
    about the world, and a whole lot of things that I have no control over.  
    Why bother?

    I have been steadily organizing my room, but it still doesn't seem 
    much better.  There is just so much stuff.  I wish I had a storage 
    space for some of it.  Aggravating.  It colors my concentration; I 
    can't even think normally, because of the nagging feeling that I've 
    got to finish sorting everything in here out.

    I haven't been feeling very well.  It might be because of my irregular 
    sleeping schedule.  Sometimes I feel as if I could just float away, 
    like a soap bubble on a summer breeze.  Nah; I just need some 
    shut-eye.

    I had to delete a lot of offensive material from the AST.  That took a 
    while; there may be more.  I know that there are still various 
    personal files of the previous owner lurking on the hard drive.  I 
    will hunt each and every one of them down until they are all deleted.  
    That's the kind of a ship I run, you see.  No cotton candy and no 
    circus peanuts for nobody.

    One of the most pleasing things that I was able to do, was to finally 
    consolidate all of my LOG files that I could access (there are some on 
    the IBM 386 that I can't yet get to - it's floppy drive is broken) 
    onto one floppy disk.  Something like 320 files.  Pretty voluminous.

    I just can't get over how much all of this has pleased me.  I guess a 
    very big part of it, is that I now actually have the ability to make 
    1.44 disks, which opens up a whole world of possibilities for me.  I 
    will be able to send pertinent files to [NAME DELETED] and others.  I 
    saw an ad a while back that featured a new disk drive (manufactured by 
    Iomega, the company that makes the Zip drives) that uses very tiny 
    rotating media; I think it was called a Clik drive, and the little 
    disks hold 40 megabytes.  They are very tiny - the size of matchbooks.  
    If anyone makes a decent, affordable portable computer that uses 
    those, it will be a very big deal in the long run, I bet.

--- gothic.log
    Judgment is coming
    Tue Apr 20 1999

    There has just been a series of shootings at a Denver area school 
    (Columbine H.S., Littleton, CO; in Jefferson county), involving two 
    students dressed in black trenchcoats, and wearing black face masks.  
    Eight of the injured students have been recovered from the school 
    building, but it is feared that many others may still be trapped 
    inside, unable to leave, for fear of having to pass by the gunmen.

    This is all very sad news to me.  I was hoping that we'd seen the last 
    of such awful scenes a few years back, when the (I think it was the 
    last occurrence of such a thing) Jasper incident took place.

    Unfortunately, it has happened again.  Several students called into a 
    Denver television station, and relayed various types of information to 
    the people there; one young man said that the two gunmen were part of 
    a 'trenchcoat Mafia homosexual group.'  Another kid that phoned in was 
    a hundred or so yards outside of the school, hiding in some bushes (he 
    said that he was praying to the Lord that the two offenders didn't see 
    him from one of the windows).  One of the last of the kids that I 
    heard, was actually inside of the school, hiding under a desk in a 
    classroom, and watching the two local Denver television news anchors 
    on a pocket TV.  He'd contacted them via his cell phone.  Pretty 
    dramatic stuff, but it really nerved me out to watch it, so I shut the 
    TV off.

    A lot of people made statements about the cause of the situation being 
    attributable to the 'world we live in today,' or something to that 
    effect.  One of the students actually made a plea in favor of the 
    gunmen, along those lines, saying that society should be blamed, 
    rather than those two perpetrators.  To me, that's pretty ridiculous, 
    even though I certainly can understand what the young man was getting 
    at.

    With all of the crud being forced into the minds and bodies of young 
    people these days, some occasional violent and chaotic manifestations 
    are to be expected, but these types of high-level situations should 
    never happen.  Each of the two young gunmen were alleged to have two 
    shotguns; one of them was carrying a small Uzi, in addition.  They 
    also had a supply of pipe bombs, several of which they detonated in a 
    parking lot, and later, inside of the school's cafeteria, and perhaps 
    in the library area as well.  Insanity.

    Don't average people understand why those sorts of things are 
    happening?  Are these people really all that blind to the facts?  You 
    know, I can't claim to understand the exact reasons why any particular 
    incident of this type goes down, but I do feel that there is very 
    little attention given to the spiritual issues relating to alienated 
    youth, and the many disturbing trends in young peoples' subcultures.

    I have never seen a sicker set of cultural weirdnesses than those that 
    have emerged over the past decade.  Many adults just don't know, 
    because they have long ago detached themselves from the currents of 
    popular culture, or are still living in an 'oldies' mindset, based on 
    the pop cultures of the sixties, seventies or early eighties.  A lot 
    of the new music, and attendant 'cultural' norms, are very, very sick 
    and demented.  The glorification of violence and perversity has really 
    been amplified.  That has long been a base element in nearly all 
    modern rebellious youth cultures (a sort of common denominator), but 
    nowadays, things have really started to go over the top.  Few of the 
    authorities really seem to care very much about young people being 
    influenced by such Satanic shit.

    As far as I understand it, what you meditate upon, is what you will 
    become, and a lot of kids seem to be soaking up some really nasty 
    vibes, via pop culture.  Along with those bad vibrations, come evil 
    spirits, that are often more than willing to set off such violent 
    episodes in young people.  This is the same phenomenon that we see in 
    the urban street gang cultures.  Violence, violence, violence.  And no 
    end in sight.

    And for most of the people that have been 'marked' by that sickening 
    system, there seems to be no kind of way out of the constantly 
    churning cycles of hate and hostility.  Nearly everyone knows what has 
    been going on in 'the world that we live in today,' why aren't any of 
    the people brave enough to stand up, and speak out against the Mark of 
    the Beast?

    Do they really think that those disgusting practices are excusable?  
    Do they think that we are serving a Lord that condones homosexuality, 
    child molestation, murder cults, snuff films, perverse sex, etcetera?  
    What is going on in their minds?  Not a whole lot, as regards 
    righteousness, I see.  I think many of them have completely lost 
    whatever minds they once had to the black snakes that are the true 
    objects of their worship.  They certainly aren't worshipping Almighty 
    God.  They are devoted worshippers of sex, money and shameless filth.

    They just won't understand until they are literally on their way to 
    eternal destruction.  That's just too bad.

    Right now (I turned the TV back on), they are saying that several 
    people are being held hostage.  Dozens of students (and probably some 
    faculty members) have been evacuated over the past hour or so.  A few 
    of the fleeing youths have been taken into custody, but nobody seems 
    to know if they are associated with the offenders.  A few dozen people 
    have been shot.  One girl was hit in the chest nine times.  This all 
    began around 11:15am (Denver time).  Twenty people are currently 
    listed as injured; I have just learned that the girl that was hit nine 
    times has just gotten out of surgery, and is listed in stable 
    condition, believe it or not.  Three other victims are still critical.  
    The two gunmen are still holed up inside.

    There are at least a hundred police cars arrayed around the Columbine 
    complex.  SWAT teams from several counties have been called in, and 
    there is even a tank-like armored vehicle trundling through the 
    school's parking lot.

    It's a bit later now, two dead suspects have been found in the school 
    library, and the casualties could reach as high as twenty-five.  SWAT 
    teams are still combing the area; several booby-traps have been found 
    - pipe bombs inside of knapsacks.  For the most part, it seems as 
    though the ordeal, which has continued for the past five hours, is 
    over.  Another student said the 'trenchcoat Mafia' was a group of 
    about twenty young men (some who wore pancake make-up and painted 
    their nails - Gothic style), that were generally seen as outcasts by 
    the majority of students at the school.  They were drawn to violence 
    (and the especially vile brand of violence in the popular media, as I 
    expected), and another student claimed that some of them played 
    wargames with toy guns on the school grounds from time to time.

    There really seems to be little hope for the destructive trends to be 
    slowed or stopped in our culture.  The main reason why, I believe, is 
    because of the nearly universal denial of the fantastically negative 
    spiritual impact that the disgusting practices of 'traditionalism' 
    have on the young people of this nation, and beyond.

    Kids being beaten, molested, raped, harassed, persecuted - often by 
    their parents, 'guardians,' or close friends and relatives.  And the 
    perpetrators of such atrocities seeming to believe that there is 
    something good and 'right' about what they do to their innocent 
    victims.  Surely, not all of the children that perpetrate such 
    terrible crimes have been mentally or physically abused, but I suspect 
    very strongly that most of them have been.  There is no other 
    explanation for such senseless acts of violence being acted out by 
    such young people.  The very real demonization that results from those 
    hateful anti-Christian activities is more than obvious to me.  
    Hopefully, the Lord will help the fools that don't or won't understand 
    the truth of those evils to see clearly.  The little 'brotherhoods' of 
    pathetic pedophiles and murder hobbyists can't carry on those Satanic 
    practices forever, without incurring the wrath of Almighty God.  I 
    suppose they think that the Lord is on their side.  Not.

    It will be a very joyful day when all of those people are finally sent 
    to the furnace, where they belong.  Amen.

    Another thing that I just thought of, is that certain destructive 
    forces within the entertainment industry have assumed the roles of the 
    prime psychological abusers of our children.  There is no need for me 
    to try and list the individuals and organizations that are most 
    responsible - anyone that is not in denial about these matters should 
    be able to determine for themselves who the culprits are.  Even 
    children who live in homes that are completely free of anti-Christian 
    cruelties can now get their fair share of mind-numbing Satanic ritual 
    abuse.  All they have to do is flip on the trusty television set.  
    There, right before their glistening eyes, will delicately unfold all 
    of the delightful abominations that their spongy little minds and 
    hearts can absorb.  Murders, rapes, you name it - all on the boob 
    tube.  During prime time, or nearly anytime.

    I guess the folks that produce all of that shit think that they will 
    not have to answer for it in the long run.  They will.  Of that, they 
    can be sure.

    By the way things are going, I think that it is entirely possible that 
    the United States is still scheduled for wholesale destruction.  I 
    believe it.  This has got to be the latter-day Babylon, or at least a 
    very significant part of it, which the Lord has promised to destroy.  
    I know that He will keep His promise.  I am so disgusted by the 
    endless whorishness of our people, and their oblivious attitudes.  I 
    really think that the US would be far better off completely destroyed, 
    than to continue along under the will of the insane Satanic 
    conspirators.  Probably, more souls would be saved, if we were shut 
    down.  With the people at the 'top' being the godless vacuums that 
    they appear to be, I know that the collective head of this nation is 
    truly jam-packed with darkness, and consequently, the entire body (of 
    the nation) is corrupt.

    The United States of America is an endlessly filthy, sodomized, 
    vermin-infested carcass of a country in the spiritual sense.  It once 
    was great, but not any more.  It's no longer Christian at all; it bees 
    all about Baal.  It, and it's sickening Satan-sucking soulless zombie 
    prostitute population needs to be destroyed.  God will do it, I bet.  
    He promised.

    I hope so, because what has been happening is truly very disturbing.

--- buzz.log
    Snap, crackle and pop
    Wed Apr 21 1999

    In yesterday's file, I made a reference to an incident in a city named 
    Jasper, that I thought was similar to what happened yesterday in 
    Littleton.  I think some other kind of tragedy took place in Jasper; 
    Paducah and Jonesboro were the places that I was trying to recall.  
    Anyhow, what I was attempting to say, is that I thought that these 
    sorts of terrible incidents weren't going to continue past the last 
    few occurrences, one of which was the Paducah incident.  Children 
    coming to school with high-powered rifles and homemade explosives just 
    isn't right.

    There is some literature that Mr. [NAME DELETED] supplied me with, 
    that suggests that the NSA may be one of the more actively involved 
    United States agencies, as regards the new electronic warfare 
    paradigm.  There was a reference to a complex system of highly 
    effective subliminal suggestions, using extremely sped-up (that only 
    the subconscious mind can discern) voice sampling bits, and broadcast 
    over certain high frequencies to tiny micro-miniaturized receivers 
    (that theoretically could be subdermally implanted in victims).  Using 
    this system, victims could be gradually harassed to a point where they 
    could easily be 'commanded' to commit crimes of various sorts.  The 
    article claimed that the NSA calls those sorts of people 'shooters on 
    a shelf.'  Probably, if there were a secret plan by a certain 
    intelligence agency to assassinate some high-profile US citizen, such 
    a psychotic, rifle-ready character would be brought forth by the 
    digital witch doctors, to do the dirty deed.  It's sad to think that 
    they could do that.

    I have felt that some of our intelligence people and agencies might 
    have been involved in the perpetration of certain psychological 
    offenses that I have noticed in the general media and entertainment 
    industry, but I really wasn't sure as to how far we'd 'progressed' in 
    the psychotronics department.  Pretty far, it now appears.  That's 
    sort of strange to me, because I always felt that the Russians had the 
    jump on us, from the information I read in books like 'Psychic 
    Discoveries Behind the Iron Curtain.'  I guess there's a whole lot of 
    covert technology that probably has been being tested and used for 
    many years, if not decades.

    If what I have been reading is true, it is very bad news, because it 
    explains why there has been such an incredible increase in the 
    aggravation of the spiritual atmosphere over the course of the past 
    few years.  The broadcast media may be loaded with encoded suggestions 
    of all kinds.  Also, I imagine that the HARP project, which could 
    potentially alter the integrity of the Earth's ionosphere, may have 
    some connection with a general psyops program, that has at it's base, 
    the very tiny subdermal transceivers that I have seen several diagrams 
    and schematics of over the past decade or so.  That technology is no 
    longer speculative; it is all too real.  It is possible to place a 
    micro-sized 'bug' on a person (probably without them being aware of 
    it, perhaps by agents wielding special applicator devices, that can 
    operate in broad daylight at least as stealthily as professional 
    pickpockets), that will allow them to be tracked all throughout an 
    entire continent, and perhaps even most of the world, by satellite.

    The information that [NAME DELETED] provided was abridged, but 
    substantive enough to be believable.  In one portion, a person that 
    allegedly had worked with certain federal agencies, and had used 
    various covert technologies, said that there were many, many instances 
    of the NSA, and other federal agencies causing great mental pain and 
    anguish in the lives of many people, even their own employees.  Some 
    of them were driven to commit suicide, often claiming that they were 
    hearing voices in their heads, or claiming to have been possessed by 
    demons.  These sorts of effects also appear to have been effected in 
    the lives of individuals involved with the entertainment media.  Kurt 
    Cobain's suicide is supposed to be attributable to the influence of 
    the NSA, and this new technology.  Supposedly, they began to heavily 
    persecute him after he let on in his song lyrics that they were 
    pestering him ('the friends inside my head' - one of the lines from a 
    Nirvana song mentioned).  The Talking Heads, and some of their lyrics 
    were also mentioned.

    If all this shit is true, these Nazis must be stopped.  It doesn't 
    matter if they have all of the superior technology in the world; if 
    the Lord wants their activities to cease, they will.  All real 
    Christians have got to pull their stupid heads out of the sand, and 
    realize what is happening.  The MOTB system is burgeoning all around 
    us, and the assholes that have set it up, are using it to cause all 
    kinds of serious disturbances, all throughout the world, quite 
    possibly.

    What is most offensive to me, is the concept of a bunch of phony 
    Christians that are too busy worshipping black snakes and dollar bills 
    to even realize or admit that Satan is completely taking over the 
    world with the MOTB.  A sack of shitty people that would rather get 
    down in the dirt on their knees and 'do that,' than stand up for the 
    truth of Jesus Christ, which, of course, has absolutely nothing to do 
    with that Fascist funky filth.  Bastards.

    The non-stop monkey-ass antics that have been being perpetrated are 
    obviously all about that new psionic weaponry that the irresponsible 
    morons that are 'running' our nation are using against our own 
    citizenry.  The psychotronic mind-gamers of the NSA, CIA, FBI, 
    etcetera (perhaps in combination with other world intelligence 
    agencies, perhaps not), are very likely responsible for a long list of 
    artificially instigated atrocities, such as the Jonestown massacre, 
    the Heaven's Gate cult, and now, the 'trenchcoat Mafia' murder spree.  
    What a bunch of snakes.  The punks would rather cybernetically whore 
    out the entire United States, than be righteous, and expose and end 
    their abominational practices.  I am intensely offended, and I hope 
    that the Lord is, also.

    Where is the outrage?  Why am I the only one?  Well, I'm sure that I'm 
    not the only one, but it feels like it.  It's like the entire media is 
    run by Beelzebub, or some other similarly non-luminous character.  The 
    Lord hates Dagon, Mat and Baal worshippers.  This nation appears to be 
    absolutely crammed full of them.  Even Christians appear to be bowing 
    down to them.  That's why I'm convinced that if things don't change 
    dramatically, and very soon, we are truly in for some big-time 
    destruction.

    Certain people in the American military-industrial complex seem to 
    have intertwined with the organized crime syndicates of the world into 
    one huge, Satanic lump.  Obviously, the individuals that did this 
    particular evil thing to me had something to do with the heroin trade, 
    and some sort of crime syndicate(s), but there also appeared to be 
    intelligence agency elements at play, both domestic, and foreign (I 
    think French, Russian or Chinese).  Intelligence agencies all 
    throughout the world are always trying to manipulate minds, so I 
    basically understand that.  However, I have never had anything to do 
    with heroin, so I really can't say what the motivations for such 
    wickedness on the part of those elements of the equation are all 
    about, but I suspect that it may have something to do with them being 
    able to continue receiving a steady supply of the Chinaman's yummy 
    opiate paste.  Probably, there are very disgusting and pathetically 
    drug-addicted wealthy people that would pay for such horrors to be 
    effected upon innocent victims.  This is a truly depraved nation and 
    world, especially when you consider that Christians are mixed up with 
    all of that hideous shit.  Those are the devil's people, for sure.  
    They will deserve every blessed minute of eternity that they spend in 
    the unapologetic flames of hell.  Amen.

--- asteroid.log
    When you're with me I'm smiley
    Thu Apr 22 1999

    Something very interesting just crossed my mind, so I had to wake up 
    and write it down, before the thought escapes me.  In my last file I 
    mentioned that I believe that there is a potential element of heroin 
    trade involved in some of these incidents where people are led into 
    occultic traps that involve the administering of soporific poisons, 
    and subsequent monkey business, including possible zombie rituals, 
    physical violations, etcetera.

    Well, I just remembered an old acquaintance of mine, from back in my 
    very early high school days (whose name, I deeply regret, I cannot 
    recollect) at Whitney Young, who introduced me to the concept of 
    fantasy role-playing games in general, but more particularly, to the 
    TSR game known as Dungeons and Dragons.  The individual wasn't 
    especially physically noteworthy in most regards, excepting perhaps 
    that he was a bit on the tall side, but he had a very interesting 
    psychological profile, as best as I remember.  Wish that I could 
    dredge up his name.  At any rate, this guy showed me how to set up and 
    play fantasy game campaigns, which ultimately radically changed my 
    perceptions of many aspects of human psychology.  The main thing that 
    I learned, was that many (I had already written 'most,' but really, it 
    isn't most) people have a sort of built-in 'fantasy/adventure' 
    mechanism, which, when properly triggered, can often lead to some very 
    startling revelations about the true psycho-spiritual character of the 
    individuals in question.  In other words, one can learn a great deal 
    about the true nature of people while playing games with them.

    Although the many different games that I was made aware of were all 
    intriguing (Gamma World, various spy and military games), the main 
    focus of our conversations were D&D adventures.  At that particular 
    time (the very early eighties), the fantasy role-playing game genre 
    was probably approaching it's heyday, because, you must remember that 
    the home video-game industry was about to seriously make it's debut in 
    the consumer market.  Right around that time, one of the very hottest 
    games available for home use was Pong, and variations on it, like the 
    ColecoVision console, which included a skeet game, with a plastic gun 
    on a cord.  But that was all about to change.

    The reason why I decided to wake up, and chronicle this, is because I 
    just remembered that my buddy also was keenly interested in the 
    writings of a science-fiction author, Frank Herbert.  His most famous 
    works are the books in the Dune series.  Now, I haven't read all of 
    the books in the series, in fact, to be perfectly truthful, the appeal 
    of the series somewhat escaped me, until I got to see the cinematic 
    version of the story, which was very well done (at least in a visual 
    sense), and wonderfully atmospheric for the time.  That really opened 
    it up more for me.  Again, although I cannot get exquisitely 
    particular about the storyline details involved in the books, I can 
    give a vague sketch of the general gist of the plot.  The main theme, 
    is of a series of planets that are ruled over by a royal class of 
    people (divided into various 'houses,' and having many rivalries and 
    intrigues between them, as you'd expect), with a somewhat dark thread 
    of religiosity coursing throughout, as a kind of binding force.  One 
    of the most memorable aspects of the series, is that a very integral 
    part of the cultures involved in the story, was the trade of something 
    known as 'the spice,' which, I believe, would only grow on one of the 
    series of planets, a barren desert world.

    Yeah.  Now, this spice (which, of course, was highly addictive), after 
    it had been ingested for quite some time, caused an actual monstrous 
    physical metamorphosis to precipitate upon the users, which ultimately 
    led to them being submerged in some sort of amniotic-type fluid, in a 
    kind of large aquarium on rollers.  At least, that's what appeared to 
    happen to one of the users (anyone that hasn't seen the film version, 
    should).  Really, that's about all that I need to say about Dune, 
    because I'll quickly get to the point of all of this.

    In the Bible, a Greek word (pharmakios) used for sorcery, really, when 
    literally translated, means 'drug usage.'  What that means, basically, 
    is that drug usage and sorcery are interchangeable.  The one is the 
    other.  Drug users are sorcerers, whether they choose to believe it, 
    or not.  The medieval accounts of witches flying through the air on 
    brooms, and other such fantastic stories, are largely attributable to 
    accounts given by the witches themselves, after having smeared their 
    bodies with a paste made from hallucinogenic herbal compounds.  Those 
    same witches often claimed to have been spirited away to other worlds, 
    where they engaged in various peculiar activities with beings that 
    seemed to be very real indeed to them.  Many shamanistic experiences 
    involve drug usage, including the rites of various Native American 
    groups.  European, African and Asian cultures all have records of 
    shamans, and strange tales of peculiar journeys embarked upon during 
    episodes of drug usage.  The reason why I am mentioning all of this, 
    is not to diminish the credibility of any people that claim to have 
    had experiences involving such journeys, but to perhaps help all of 
    us to understand why this is such an experiential common denominator, 
    this concept of the shamanistic 'trip.'

    There even seems to be a very hard-coded symbol in our culture that 
    points to the commonality of such an experience - that of the wizard's 
    conical hat, with the stars and planets embroidered upon it.  That 
    archetype has been with us from at least the Middle Ages, and perhaps 
    even longer.  I recall hearing on a radio program, that some Native 
    Americans claim to have found themselves actually aboard space 
    vehicles while engaging in Peyote rituals.  I am completely aware of 
    what they are talking about.  In fact, I will expand on this much more 
    in the future, if I have the opportunity to do so.  The point that I 
    am trying to make, is that it appears that in 'the real world,' there 
    really is a more or less common experience of some kind, that involves 
    brief transits of the spirit from one dimensionally fixed locality to 
    another, and back.  These experiences, often, though not by any means 
    always, involve some kind of altered mental state, sometimes involving 
    drugs.  The argument could be made that all perceptions made in a 
    chemically-influenced state are not to be trusted, and I, for one, 
    could certainly understand that line of reasoning, but the sheer 
    volume of similar reports warrants some kind of serious consideration, 
    I think.  Especially now.

    There may be some kind of connection between drugs and the 
    extraterrestrial phenomenon; perhaps it has something to do with the 
    reason why the Lord commanded Adam and Eve not to eat from the fruit 
    of the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden.  After they did that, 
    the serpent had much control over them.  And remember, we are told in 
    the Bible, that serpents are wise.  Probably a lot wiser than we 
    think.  The ones that are running the 'game' that has been going on 
    here in America sure get really hostile and ugly when it is even 
    suggested that those activities be brought to an end, so I strongly 
    suspect that there is some deeper, perhaps celestial, level to what it 
    is that they are attempting to do, by promoting those ungodly 
    activities.  If I told you what I think it might be, you would really 
    think that I'm crazy.  You must understand, that the Lord, and His 
    angels have really been fighting a very serious war in the Heavens 
    against Satan and his angels.  Just think about that for a while.  
    What are the main points of contention between them?  What, if any, 
    physical areas of the Heavens are involved?  Where is 'the place' that 
    Satan and his angels lost?  Why aren't Christians asking these very 
    important questions?  Huh?

--- kate.log
    Didn't have the money for a guitar
    Thu Apr 22 1999

    I really enjoy the music of Kate Bush (I have a jumbo-sized poster of 
    her lovely visage hanging on the south wall of my room).  I also like 
    a lot of Tori Amos' work, which has very similar tonal, lyrical and 
    aesthetic dynamics.  Love those ladies.  I kind of miss my artistic 
    life, especially the musical aspect of it.  If there wasn't such a 
    dark and oppressive atmosphere prevailing, I would probably be trying 
    to find some decent bandmates; even though the music industry is 
    largely full of shit, I have some hope that there will eventually be a 
    cycle of renewal.  If we can remove at least some of the heavier 
    serpent-cult elements from it, there might be real hope for some truly 
    melodic music to once again rear it's pwetty head.

    I would like peace to be attained without the need for anyone to lose 
    their heads, figuratively, or literally.  Only faith in God can 
    provide that peace.  I am sure that many people would like to see some 
    of the disgusting bastards that are operating in the entertainment 
    industry relieved of their filth-filled heads.  I must admit that I 
    have felt that way on more than one occasion.

    I have come to the sad conclusion that many people of certain cultural 
    bents will simply never be able to appreciate some of the, shall we 
    say, brighter aspects of musical craft.  Certain individuals are just 
    trapped in a lightless, sensual mindframe, is what it appears to boil 
    down to.  Unfortunately, they seem to feel most comfortable when they 
    are able to successfully drag the general consciousness down into the 
    muck and mire, especially that of the youth.  When the children of the 
    land are completely emotionally darkened by the very lowest cultural 
    impulses, the entire root of society's survival imperative begins to 
    gradually degenerate.  That is why there seems to a great amount of 
    indifference on the part of even many adults.  Because it appears that 
    our posterity have very little hope for a sane and stable future, one 
    of the consequences of that perception (whether correct or incorrect), 
    is that many grown-ups seem to have thrown all caution to the four 
    winds, giving in to every form of vice, for fear that there isn't much 
    time left, in which to 'live' out their potentially short lives.

    When nearly all of our so-called leaders appear to be ghoulishly 
    advocating the behind-the-scenes, whorish MOTB activities of the New 
    World Order social paradigm, one can't help but feel deeply cynical 
    about the future.  Serious, God-fearing people should be in deep shock 
    over what has been happening.  The bagged and tagged '666' heads, and 
    their hellbound souls, can't help much to improve the spiritual 
    equation, that much appears to be quite evident.  The children appear 
    to be far more sensitive to all of this than most adults probably 
    suspect; many of them have responded by catapulting themselves into 
    shameless hedonism (one classic reaction of human youth to an unstable 
    social environment) and the worst kinds of obsessions with empty 
    vanities, and varieties of cruelty.

    It's really a pity that there are so many individuals that are 
    play-actors when it comes to the concept of Christianity and true 
    righteousness.  People that would rather base their 'rightness' on 
    their genotype, political party, or bank account.  Entirely phony 
    Christians, that probably couldn't care less about Jesus Christ, and 
    the very important warnings that he gave us about the events directly 
    prior to the end of this age of darkness upon planet Earth.  People 
    that demonically molest their children as a matter of ('traditional,' 
    you see) course, and yet dutifully attend church on Sundays, with 
    pursed lips, and folded hands.  Disgusting, unworthy specimens, whose 
    faces I hope I won't be seeing in the Lord's Kingdom (unless they 
    repent).

    And then, when their little ones turn around and cause some kind of 
    significant disruption in the civilization, all they do in response, 
    is clasp their clammy hands to their blanched faces, and read lines 
    like:  'Oh, where did we go wrong?'  Please.  This nation is full of 
    very evil spiritual practices, that if left uncorrected, will 
    definitely result in some very uncontrollable events unfolding in the 
    not-so-distant future.  Middle America is seething with hostility and 
    discontent, because of those Satanic 'ancestor worship' practices 
    being passed down for countless generations.  The devils that have 
    been hopping from parents to children, and then to the children's' 
    children, and on, are very, very real, and should be considered as the 
    prime risk to our national security.

    As I have said before, one of the biggest impediments to us being able 
    to make progress in these regards, is the nearly complete consensus of 
    the society at large, to remain firmly in denial about these crucial 
    spiritual matters.  Everything of an unexplainable spiritual nature, 
    must be spoken of in the shop-talk of the professional psychiatric set 
    (whose members are often heavily demonically possessed individuals, 
    themselves).  Even people that have plainly seen the creatures that I 
    am speaking of (demons) many times, are (and understandably, because 
    of the condemnation that often results) often extremely loathe to 
    identify themselves as understanders of the horrifying reality of 
    their actual existence.  If such creatures do not exist, then why are 
    there entire bookstores devoted to the understanding of the mechanics 
    of such odd perceptions?  Jesus (and many other people in the ancient 
    world, as well) spoke of, and spiritually moved against them with 
    great deliberation.  I must repeat, they are absolutely real.  The 
    firm understanding of the reality of their existence, is one of the 
    most important master keys to a more accurate analysis of what has 
    been happening on a spiritual level.

    I am not claiming to be a expert on them - far from it, but I am way 
    beyond being convinced that they exist.  One explanation why so many 
    people are devoted to denying that they are real, is that apparently, 
    the demonic possession saturation level is extremely high at this 
    time, and as I have mentioned before, we are enduring an even more 
    pernicious wave of the spiritual creatures, some of which may actually 
    have arrived from other dimensions, planets, or possibly, they may 
    even have been liberated from some form of imprisonment deep within 
    the bowels of the Earth.  In fact, some of them may actually be the 
    disobedient angelics arriving upon Earth, after having lost the war in 
    the Heavens against Yahweh, and Archangel Michael.

    Do you think that all of this is a bunch of malarkey?  Nope, it is 
    real, and again, I must reiterate that I cannot claim to have a 
    perfect, or even nearly correct understanding of the exact dynamics of 
    the situation - I only have my own experiences to draw from, in 
    combination with what I have learned from the Scriptures.

    Those evil spirits have been 'taking over' the Earth, via those 
    unmentionable practices.  That is why the resistance level to evil of 
    all kinds is so tragically low, at a time when it needs to be at it's 
    highest.  One interesting possibility, is that the Sumerian mythos 
    claims that there was an advanced civilization that once existed on 
    the planet Tiamat (the 'Watery Dragon,' which is now the asteroid 
    belt), which was very matriarchal in it's character and organization.  
    The serpent character, Enki, somehow is associated with that world, 
    and if any of that is to be believed, many answers to the deeper 
    questions of the Big Picture may lie there.  Again, I must repeat, 
    that I am not claiming absolute faith in any of those possibilities; 
    but from my experiences, it seems as though it might actually be 
    possible.  I have not yet written a file explaining some of my more 
    incredible experiences; maybe some of the reasons why I believe that 
    such possibilities should be seriously considered will become apparent 
    as time goes on.

    I am very worried about being wrong, of course, and leading anyone 
    astray as a result.  The best insurance that I can offer against that 
    possibility, is to encourage anyone that might ever peruse these files 
    to sincerely pray to God about these matters, if they are anywhere 
    near being concerned about such things.  I know that I am not the only 
    person to have had a bizarre life, filled with confusing, and often 
    contradictory spiritual events.

    If I had to boil my general theory down to a one-minute speech, it 
    would likely be something like this:  I believe that the Kingdom of 
    God is comprised of a collection of different localities in the 
    literal (and possibly beyond; I imagine that entirely immaterial 
    worlds might also be involved) Heavens; life-supporting worlds, not 
    unlike planet Earth, but enjoying complete freedom from the oppression 
    of the spiritual darkness and confusion that results from the 
    violation of God's ordered will for all of His creatures.  Certainly, 
    the arrival upon Earth, of a physical Jesus Christ should bear out 
    that possibility (remember, Jesus said that we would eat and drink 
    with Him in the Kingdom).  Furthermore, I believe that these 'mansions 
    in the Father's Kingdom' have some sort of ability to exist within a 
    common timestream, although, by our current reckoning of time (in a 
    linear sense), they might actually be removed one from another, by 
    millions, or perhaps even billions of years of time.

    To be absolutely clear about it, I believe that God the Father is 
    completely spiritually transcendent, but is able to directly operate 
    within all of His creatures, in any way that He so desires.  I believe 
    that Jesus Christ is literally the only begotten Son of God, in the 
    sense that He is the Prime Creation of God, the Word of God.  As the 
    man, Jesus, He will be the full representative of God in the flesh, 
    perfectly qualified and able to righteously rule over all of the 
    nations of the world.  As Christians, we must understand at least that 
    (about Christ).

    Something that all Christians should be very worried about, as I have 
    attempted to convey as best as I am able, is the possibility that a 
    quorum of anti-Christian forces might be able to produce an individual 
    that would counterfeit the return of the man Jesus Christ to the 
    Earth.  It is very important for all of us that consider ourselves to 
    be awaiting the return of Christ to the Earth to be aware of the 
    desires of the enemies of God to thwart His good will for the people 
    of the world, and to create their own, false, version of a world 
    messiah.  There are all kinds of possibilities - I have attempted to 
    explore some of them in past files, and I will probably continue to 
    speculate for as long as I am able to.

    One of my main reasons for concern, has to do with what I very 
    seriously believe was a sort of 'mission' of mine - to provide the 
    people of good faith with as complete an understanding as possible of 
    one way that this sort of thing might manifest.  The characters that 
    have misappropriated my intellectual property have done the Body of 
    Christ a grave injustice, I fear, for this whole experience that I 
    have endured, if properly presented, quite possibly could shed a 
    brilliant light upon certain possibilities.  I fear that the 
    individuals that have derailed my mission may attempt to use some of 
    my ideas for destructive purposes.  If I am correct about the Lord 
    giving me such a mission, then I would imagine that the people that 
    are responsible for ruining it are really going to be in for some 
    tremendous problems, in the long run.

    It is really lamentable that people of certain cultural backgrounds 
    appear to be primarily responsible for causing these misfortunes to 
    befall me.  I would that it were not so.  As I have said to a relative 
    of mine, it is almost as if there is a conspiracy to cause as many 
    negative ethnic stereotypes as possible to be presented to the general 
    public.

--- tagalog.log
    I'm sorry, it ain't what it seems
    Fri Apr 23 1999

    Just got off of the phone with [NAME DELETED]; she is no longer 
    working six days a week, as she has done for about five years.  I 
    decided to ask her what she thought about The Littleton incident, and 
    the concept of Goth kids perpetrating it.  She basically thought it 
    was pretty messed up, but to be honest, I didn't really listen too 
    much to what she said, because I began to describe the odd 
    synchronicities between that tragedy, and my visit with Mr. [NAME 
    DELETED].

    I told her how I supplied him with a shareware version of ID 
    Software's Castle Wolfenstein game, which includes all kinds of Nazi 
    symbology, like portraits of Adolf Hitler, Eagle Swastikas, and other 
    assorted niceties, like armband-wearing guards that you must kill for 
    points.  Weird game, which I thought might help ol' [NAME DELETED] to 
    lighten up a bit about his predicament re psychotronic harassment.  On 
    the disk label, I wrote:  'Invade a Nazi Fortress, like a Good 
    American Boy,' which I thought he might find funny.  The main 
    synchronicity between our visit, and what happened in Littleton 
    subsequently, is that the carnage at the high-school took place on 
    Hitler's birthday.

    That would be disturbing enough, but there is much more.  In the small 
    package that I prepared for the dude, I included:  two floppies 
    (containing two Pac-Man type games, and a few text files that I 
    prepared especially for him), a tape of Carlos' band, Scorched Earth 
    Policy, a poster from the Robocop film, and a photocopy of a 
    LaRouche-associated article, entitled 'George Bush's New World Order 
    Means Global Genocide,' written by Nancy Spannaus.

    I believe that Ms. Spannaus is an active member of the LaRouche 
    organization, which (as nearly everyone knows) has been ruthlessly 
    criticized by most people in the American media as being, well, bad in 
    their eyes.  They are largely verboten in media circles, even as 
    casual conversational fodder.  I think the reason why, is because they 
    are extremely anti-Satanic.  Most of the media people, and nearly all 
    of the other power-brokers, are slavishly serving mammon, so it 
    figures that LaRouche, and his associates would be largely written out 
    of the societal equation by the cultural brainlords of the USA.

    It might take a lot of writing to get people unaware of certain 
    political dynamics to understand why all of this seems very 
    significant and profoundly interesting to me.  To simplify, I will say 
    that I believe that certain political forces in America have been 
    actively trying to manufacture an antichrist figure, and a surrounding 
    scenario to accompany such a personality.  I believe that George Bush, 
    and various other major political figures in the USA pantheon, have 
    literally been trying to do just that.  I feel very strongly that they 
    are all part of a very large Luciferian conspiracy.

    They appear to be guilty of using very advanced technology to attempt 
    to manipulate the minds and souls of many US citizens into evil 
    channels.  You may have heard the accusations that the CIA has been 
    involved in crack cocaine drug traffic out on the west coast.  I 
    cannot verify whether or not that is true.  However, I firmly believe 
    that some of our intelligence people are guilty of transgressions far 
    worse than that; more heinous even than many of the crimes committed 
    by Stalin, Pol Pot and the Nazis.

    It's because they largely don't appear to be very horrific (as in 
    blood spatters and scattered limbs), in an external sense, that 
    average citizens seem not to believe that the kinds of evils that our 
    intelligence agencies have been perpetrating upon our own citizenry 
    are as bad as they really are.  Make no mistake, they are very bad, 
    indeed.

    I believe that a group of people have been 'monitoring' [NAME DELETED] 
    and myself, (and probably a lot of other victims), and somehow 
    (perhaps with the assistance of very advanced technology) 
    choreographing certain events along with our activities.  Now, that 
    might sound really nutty, but there appears to be a huge volume of 
    subjective evidence to support this view.  It is just so exhausting to 
    try and relate every last one of the niggling details that have led me 
    to believe that this kind of a situation might actually be possible.

    During one particularly frenetic period of psycho-spiritual chaos that 
    I endured about two years ago, I recall hearing an interruption in a 
    radio broadcast that I was listening to, and overhearing some 
    communications over hand-held radios, something that appeared to refer 
    to an operation called 'Salt and Light.'

    I have been constantly trying to figure out the truest meaning of the 
    unpleasant things that have been happening to me over the course of 
    the past four or so years.  I am convinced that our government is 
    behind at least some of it, as unhappy a thing to report as that is.  
    Again, I think that they have been seriously attempting to 'build' a 
    false prophet, or antichrist type of figure, with what they have done 
    to me, and probably several other people.  At first (back around 
    1996), there were people that approached me, and pretty much readily 
    admitted (in a periphrastic way) that they were trying to manipulate 
    me.  One woman called it 'the grand experiment.'  If that isn't a 
    spiritual high crime, I don't know what is.

    I am going to tell you quite candidly, that I believe that they (the 
    American military-industrial complex, perhaps in combination with 
    other world powers, perhaps not) have some kind of a base, or bases in 
    the nearby Heavens, perhaps on the Moon and/or Mars, and that the 
    people that have been operating at such a high level, now appear to 
    find great amusement in trying to manipulate the lives of individuals 
    such as myself and Mr. [NAME DELETED], using the kinds of evil 
    technologies that I have discussed from time to time within these 
    files.  They are quite literally 'playing god.'

    It has been suggested to me that anyone that would 'bite' the bait of 
    actually participating in an 'antichrist program,' would have all 
    kinds of unbelievable technological support from our government.  All 
    sorts of phony (technologically created) miracles would be manifested.  
    I am sure of it.  Back-engineered spacecraft, 'aliens,' etcetera, and 
    some kind of bullshit, world-government-supported storyline to go 
    along with it all, most likely.  The works.  The most ugly thing about 
    all of it, is that so many of the people that appear to be in the 
    sold-out to Satan '666' crowd, claim to be Christians, thus adding a 
    heavy degree of confusion to everything concerning these most weighty 
    matters.

    One comforting thought, in the midst of all of these unsettling 
    perceptions, is that I do not believe that the evil forces responsible 
    for such abominations will be allowed to fully manifest their ungodly 
    plans, until after the Lord has delivered the Body of Christ from the 
    Earth, as He has promised us.  The real 'fun' will begin for the fools 
    that want it, after we Christians are delivered from this insane 
    asylum that the world is becoming.

    I believe that the real reason why no one has attempted to communicate 
    with me about my experiences, is because most everyone seems to 
    realize that the real perpetrators of the disgusting atrocities 
    (poisonings, voodoo ritualism, violatings) that have been 'going on,' 
    are hellbound incarnate devils, or fallen angelics.  Even Christians 
    are being abused with the MOTB system, that appears to include some 
    kind of satellite-based neural communications network, operating 
    throughout much of the world.  Apathy abounds, when such systematic 
    evils begin to prevail.

    I am trying hard not to be apathetic, but it is difficult not to be, 
    considering the circumstances.

    One other coincidence that bothers me, is that right before I finally 
    departed from the [NAME DELETED] household, he asked me to take a look 
    at some microcircuitry that he claimed to have retrieved from within 
    his own body.  He'd shown me something before, a few hair-like wires, 
    and some small bits, that possibly could have been micro-miniaturized 
    electronic components of some sort, but after examining them closely, 
    I must admit that I wasn't entirely convinced.

    I told him that I'd rather not take a look at it (a thought has 
    crossed my mind - it very well could have been the same stuff; perhaps 
    he'd forgotten showing it to me some time last year), because it would 
    haunt me (for the rest of the day - I was already feeling rather 
    spaced-out).  He seemed disappointed, but quickly turned and directed 
    me into his room, where he extracted a small sheaf of papers from 
    underneath a large stack.

    I then headed for the door; as I left, he said something like 'those 
    are your briefings.'  I didn't think much about it, and just returned 
    home.  Upon closer examination, several days later, the papers proved 
    to be very significant, in a synchronistic sense, for they provided 
    specific information about ways that intelligence agencies might be 
    able to direct individuals to perform violent acts, using a system of 
    highly sped-up subliminal suggestions, broadcast over radio 
    frequencies to specially designed subdermal micro-transceivers (I have 
    already provided a brief sketch of that system in a previous file).

    This is just one simple example of the type of uncanny coincidences 
    that have absolutely plagued my life over the past few years.  After 
    having noted many, many such odd occurrences, I simply cannot believe 
    that they are accidental.  There is little or no doubt in my mind that 
    there are people and forces that are literally trying to manipulate my 
    life, internally, as well as in more external ways.  The intense fury 
    that I have felt over this cannot be appreciated by anyone that has 
    not had the depth of negative experience that I have had, I am sure.

--- pijunhed.log
    Come on baby, tell me
    Fri Apr 23 1999

    All of the insanity that has been happening over the past few days 
    (the Littleton tragedy, and it's after-effects) has really got me 
    thinking about many things.  For one, I hadn't realized that the 
    'Gothic' movement had become violent.  I was almost an active part of 
    it (because of several of my friends), back in the days when I was 
    working in nightclubs like Cabaret Metro, and Limelight.  In fact, it 
    probably has changed significantly since the beginning of this decade.  
    The term 'Gothic' used to bring to mind relatively mellow groups like 
    Bauhaus, The Cure, Siouxsie and the Banshees, and a slew of other, 
    primarily post-punk, mostly British bands.

    What they call Gothic nowadays, seems to run more along the lines of 
    Trent Reznor and NIN, Marilyn Manson and KMFDM.  Perhaps a more 
    appropriate term for the newer forms would be 'post-Gothic,' or even 
    just 'Industrial' (as in the Industrial music genre).  Noise, or 
    Industrial music, and it's chaotic, mechanistic sensibilities, are far 
    more what the current musical culture concerned appears to reflect.

    The Gothic subculture in Chicago was extremely non-violent, compared 
    to nearly all of the other alternative scenes, with the possible 
    exception of the Ska, or Mod scene (even that set had plenty of 
    belligerence within it's ranks).  My favorite band (The Cocteau 
    Twins), in it's early stages, probably would be classified as a Gothic 
    band.  But again, the application of the term to the new, violent 
    culture that has arisen is incorrect, as far as I'm concerned.  The 
    only thing that the old Gothic culture has in common with the new, is 
    the black, or dark clothing, and the obsession with brooding, dark 
    themes.  The violence and insanity simply is not present (at least not 
    to the current degree) in the old music.

    This all disturbs me, because of a lot of very unusual coincidences, 
    relating to the course of my adventures in the halls of subcultural 
    experience over the years.  I have noticed a general trend towards 
    violence in just about all of the music subculture divisions, even 
    ones (such as the Goths) that once were notoriously non-violent.  The 
    local Skinheads (American and Nazi), Punks, etcetera, all used to make 
    fun of the Goths, because they were so peaceable.  I guess now, there 
    will be tons of Goth 'wannabes,' that will have no clue as to what 
    that scene initially was really all about.  A very long way from 'Bela 
    Lugosi's Dead,' lemme tell ya.

    I think, maybe what has happened, is that a lot of the initial 
    participants in the movement got heavily involved with drugs and 
    witchcraft, and thus, the flow of things became dramatically altered, 
    and moved towards violence.  That might be one way of explaining it.  
    The people that I knew that were involved in it, were basically just 
    serious alcoholics.  That was the fundamental vice.

    There was one Frankensteiney guy, Grant (this is so freaky), that 
    (wait 'til you hear this) was actually a jock with a short military 
    crewcut, that on the weekends, wore a black frazzle wig, to be a Goth 
    'weekend warrior.'  No kidding.  He was so successful at it, that he 
    quickly became the premier example of the local 'Goth dude,' scamming 
    all the Goth chicks, fighting the skinheads, etcetera.  This freaks me 
    out, because of the nature of the horror in Littleton, where those 
    characters were actually deliberately looking for 'jock' types to 
    kill.  Weird, right?

    There are a lot of other very odd stories that I could tell about the 
    Goth, and other subcultural scenes, but I really don't feel like it 
    right now.  Maybe later.

    The main reason why I decided to write another file, is to continue 
    onwards in my attempt to clarify some of the important experiences 
    that I've had, that relate to what I believe may happen over the 
    course of the near future, pertaining to the end of this screwed-up 
    system of things, and the beginning of the righteous rule of Lord 
    Jesus Christ.

    Enough of this Goth crap.

    Well, before beginning, I'll make a list of some of my Goth friends, 
    for future reference:  Paulette, Kara (Dragon Lady), Rocco, Brian 
    Wendorf (who now works for Lumpen), Rat, Kim and her brother, whose 
    name I can't remember, and the lovely Smith (a woman, who was a 
    bartender at Limelight).  Come to think of it, I think that even [NAME 
    DELETED] might have fit into that scene category.  I don't think that 
    any of them would have ever dreamed that such a terrible thing would 
    ever happen, involving people claiming affiliation with the Goth 
    subculture.  The mind reels.

    On to the more serious stuff...

    Concerning the possibility of life on other planets in this solar 
    system, in other time-space zones:

    I think that it's possible.  If Almighty God created life on this 
    world, Earth, which is in the middle of a series of planets, any of 
    which, given the proper distance from the Sun, in relation to Sol's 
    photonic output (which, over the course of billions of years, might 
    fluctuate quite significantly), should be able (with the Creator's 
    touch, of course) to easily support life of the carbon-based variety 
    that we are familiar with.

    One must keep in mind that the main reason why this planet is able to 
    happily sustain life upon it's surface (so far), is because of a li'l 
    ol' thang known as an atmosphere.  If our atmosphere's delicate 
    chemical profile was significantly altered, even by just one or two 
    percentile points of nitrogen (or other gases), we might all quickly 
    roast, or freeze to death.

    One might ask, 'life on Mercury? - preposterous!'  Well, it might seem 
    ridiculous, until you consider the possibility of the expansion and 
    contraction of the orbital phases of the planetary bodies, along with 
    increases and decreases in the ratio of the Sun's output.  Have you 
    ever seen a bit of flaming char that has been cast off from a roaring 
    fire?  Well, then you probably are aware that most inflamed solid 
    bodies, have a degree of fluctuation to the process of their burn.  
    Sparks sputter.  Our Sun is not unlike a jumbo spark - I am sure that 
    it, too, is sputtering, but over phases that stretch across millions 
    and billions of years, and perhaps even farther.  One never knows.

    Anyhow, what I am getting at, is that there might possibly be a time 
    when the Sun's output would be dramatically different from what it is 
    currently.  More output, and planets and moons further out would be 
    better candidates for worlds of life; less, and, well, you get the 
    picture.

    Now, am I saying that this is the actual way that things are?  No, I 
    am merely speculating; however, this theory, in conjunction with the 
    possibility of advanced civilizations possessing the ability to 
    traverse time-space boundaries, makes the 'life on other worlds' 
    theory a lot more believable to me.  Again, as I have mentioned in 
    other files, the Heavens are mentioned in plural form, all throughout 
    the Old and New Testaments.  It makes very good sense to me that our 
    Lord has not been resting on His laurels throughout the vast expanses 
    of time and space available to Him.  I don't see why He wouldn't 
    create life on other bodies within this solar system, in other 
    time-space zones.

    The thing that is difficult to understand, is the potential 
    relationship between ages on another world, say Mars, and our current 
    age on planet Earth.  My experiences suggest to me that there is a 
    great amount of order to celestial matters, as they are directed by 
    the Lord, and His loyal creations.  Not to get too detailed (because 
    I want to save a lot of this for another file), but I know for sure 
    that there are actual intelligences posted in the Heavens, that 
    regulate spiritual traffic between this world, and at least one other 
    place that I strongly suspect is a world similar to this planet in 
    many ways.

    To those that are entirely unaware of this kind of thing, that might 
    sound mildly, or even extremely disturbing, but for someone such as 
    myself, that from experience knows the truth of it, it is a mighty 
    revelation that is very hard to share with others.

    I could write for days about many things.  I feel it is my duty to 
    chronicle as many of my experiences as possible.  But for now, I am 
    going to rest.  I am tired.

--- gibborim.log
    And not some puppet on a string
    Sat Apr 24 1999

    I am hoping that the Lord will give me the opportunity to develop some 
    of the ideas that I've been thinking of, without having to cooperate 
    in any way with the damned masses.  It is really hard to believe how 
    many people are stuck on the evils of that inane system.  It seems 
    that practically everybody that has made it in America has had some 
    sort of 'brush' with those evil traditions.

    I have tried for many long years to look at the concept of 'voodoo 
    politics' from as many different angles as possible.  I don't believe 
    that I have recorded some of my thoughts along those lines as of yet, 
    so now may be as good a time as any other.

    First, I realize that similar situations that others may have been led 
    into, might differ quite significantly from mine.  The perpetrators of 
    such abominations may vary greatly in age, ethnic background, 
    etcetera, from one incident to another; but, I am fairly certain that 
    the basic actions executed are principally the same.  Concerning those 
    'actions,' I believe that they are a symbolic reenactment of what the 
    serpent did to Adam and Eve after deceiving them, or Ham to Noah, 
    after the flood waters receded.  The book of Habakkuk, one of the 
    minor prophets of the Old Testament, contains a lamentation against 
    people that 'give strong drink to their neighbors, that they may look 
    upon their nakedness.'  Read it.

    One of the most disturbing aspects of trying to understand such 
    occurrences, is the fact that the main proponents of such activities 
    appear to be non-Aryan peoples, such as Blacks, Hispanics, Jews, and 
    on.  As unsettling as it is to contemplate that, it must be considered 
    carefully.  Of course, nowadays, many Aryan people seem to be very 
    willing participants, primarily because there appears to be a very 
    strong economic incentive involved for the people paying allegiance to 
    antichristian intelligences.  One of the great ironies of all of this, 
    is that Baal, considered as an actual group of spirits (antichristian 
    angels - Samyaza and his cronies), may actually be primarily Aryan, in 
    the context of considering the Martian question, and activities that 
    appear to be happening between Earth and Mars, Venus and/or elsewhere.  
    This may all sound clumsy and confusing, but at this moment, I am 
    writing mostly for myself, based on what I believe I have learned 
    about the Heavens.

    As I have indicated before, I haven't, as of yet, provided a lot of 
    additional information about my psycho-spiritual experiences, and my 
    interpretations of them, so there may be many gaps in understanding 
    exactly what I am trying to indicate, until I am able to fill in the 
    holes, by relating more information.

    To repeat, I am not entirely sure about a lot of what I have 
    experienced.  I have held back from writing this stuff down, for a 
    long time, because of my worries about possibly being wrong about 
    certain things, and misleading people as a result.  I will liberally 
    pepper these files with affirmations of self-doubt, because I have 
    learned that it can be a very dangerous thing to put too much faith in 
    one's own spiritual reasoning, no matter how convincing the 
    subjective supporting evidence may be.  Always leave room for 
    acknowledgment of possible error, when trying to ascertain the more 
    exact details of these types of issues.  Only the Lord knows the 
    perfect truth of these very sensitive and extremely important matters.  
    Anyone that is seriously questing for the truth, must continuously ask 
    Yahweh for His assistance, in the name of Jesus.  Do not forget that.  
    I am warning you.

    The main reason why I believe what I do, has everything to do with my 
    'transfer to the arena' experience, back in 1989, which I have 
    referred to many, many times.  I still haven't even prepared a file 
    that exhaustively details all of the information relating to that.  
    Soon, I will.

    Back to the issue of unholy personages from the Heavens.  Now, in the 
    Apocryphal works, When the disobedient angelics of the antediluvian 
    Earth (the Nephilim, which means 'those who came down') went against 
    the Lord's will, and took wives from among the daughters of men, quite 
    a bit of time elapsed before the loyal host of Heaven were called into 
    play, to effect God's judgments against them.  This must be so, for 
    we are told that the progeny of the illicit liaisons (the Gibborim, 
    also known as the children of disobedience, the mighty men, the 
    biters, reprobates, 'fellers,' what are now some of the disincarnates, 
    or demonic spirits occupying the planet) between angels and humans 
    caused great disruptions upon the Earth for a considerably long period 
    of time (sorcery, cannibalism, and other deep evils were widespread, 
    we are informed), before the holy angels arrived to amend matters.

    A period of time lengthy enough for the first generation Gibborim to 
    have their own children with human women, which have yet another 
    Hebrew name attributable to them, which, unfortunately, I cannot 
    recall at this moment.

    Continuing, the disobedient angelics and their progeny caused human 
    civilization to be altered dramatically, by introducing many alien 
    ideas and technologies, including the sciences of war, sorcery and 
    adornment.  Obviously, if the angels were bringing this kind of 
    knowledge along with them, whatever world or worlds they departed from 
    must have been utilizing the same kinds of information, at least at 
    some point in their history.

    One difficult thing to explain, is how exactly the angels were able to 
    sexually interact with human women, in the first place.  In the New 
    Testament, Jesus Himself tells us that Heaven's angels do not 'give or 
    take in marriage.'  In fact, He tells us that those of us that are 
    being mustered into the Father's Kingdom won't be marrying any longer, 
    either.  My understanding, is that the unholy angels may have actually 
    engineered human bodies for themselves, or perhaps secured them via 
    spiritual possession.

    Then again (and this is something that many people will probably find 
    very hard to accept), they may have already had their own fleshly 
    bodies.  There are many instances in the Bible where angels are 
    described as having physical bodies.  Remember the explanation in 
    Scripture about the difference between the celestial and terrestrial 
    bodies, that 'the glory of the one is not the glory of the other.'

    At any rate, they somehow managed to have material children with 
    Earth's women.  Now, after the Lord sent Archangels Michael, Gabriel, 
    et al, to Earth to bring judgment against the evildoers, there is an 
    account (again, in the Apocryphal book of Enoch, which many scholars 
    dismiss as heretical, but which appears to be very crucial to gaining 
    a better understanding of what has been happening spiritually upon 
    Earth throughout it's history), of the Lord's pronouncements against 
    the mischievous group of beings, the Nephilim and Gibborim.

    He ascribes the entirety of the crime to an angel known as Samyaza 
    (who I believe may actually be equivalent, or similar to Beelzebub, or 
    maybe they are different, I don't know for sure), and sentences him to 
    imprisonment under 'hurled and pointed stones' within the Earth.  The 
    Lord also decrees that the Gibborim should be 'excited one against 
    another, that they may perish in mutual slaughter,' or something 
    similar.

    Leaving aside issues of whether that seems to be a fair judgment or 
    not (I personally believe that God's will is always right, but others 
    often disagree), I will say that there appears to be evidence that 
    something very similar, though different in some important ways, may 
    be taking place in our modern age.  There is the fact that Christ told 
    us that the end of this age would be 'as it was in the days of Noah,' 
    and that gives me reason to suspect that similar spiritual dynamics 
    may be at play, perhaps involving yet another group of disobedient 
    intelligences from the Heavens (the Dragon and his angels), because, 
    you will remember that the descending of the Nephilim, and the 
    subsequent effects of their disobedience, came directly prior to the 
    Lord's decision to inundate the Earth.  See?  The pre-flood world of 
    uncontrollable wickedness was ended by water, and the current age of 
    evil will be closed off by fire.

    We are told that when Lucifer decided to rebel against Yahweh, he drew 
    away a certain amount of angelic personalities from the Lord's 
    service, approximately one third, I believe.  In the book of Job, we 
    are given an example of the devil presenting himself to God in the 
    Heavens, at the same time that some loyal angels did.  So, we must 
    conclude that Satan and his host may have only recently been 
    restricted from traveling throughout the Heavens.  We are told that 
    the devil is actually cast down to the Earth from the Heavens, at the 
    end of this age, prior to, or perhaps during, the Great Tribulation.

    Of course, this concept conflicts with the classical idea of Satan 
    being underground, in caverns, or something like that.  Certainly, 
    there is evidence in the Bible and Apocrypha that there actually are 
    certain groups of evil spirits restrained within the Earth (Samyaza, 
    the four Euphrates angels, Apollyon, and probably others), and perhaps 
    elsewhere (I have reason to believe that Tartarus may be a place 
    completely separate from Earth).  What I am trying to say, is that the 
    groups of angels that have disobeyed God throughout Earth's history, 
    may have actually only been contemporaries of Satan.  Sympathizers, if 
    you will.  The real Satan may actually have only recently been ejected 
    from the Heavens.  That might explain why this century has been 
    increasingly destructive and wicked, because everyone has heard 
    that 'the devil comes down with great wrath, because he knows that he 
    has but a short time.'

    You know, I just attempted to save this file, after writing several 
    very important paragraphs past this point, and the Windows Write 
    application crashed, so I am forced to rewrite the material.  I will 
    try to replicate it as best as I can.  As an interesting note, the 
    'crash' came after I'd written extensively about my theories 
    concerning the concept of racial idealism, as it has been popularly 
    understood in the western cultures of this age.

    The concept of racial idealism, in the western sense, seems to have 
    caused an incalculable amount of psycho-spiritual damage, especially 
    throughout the course of the twentieth century.  The nascent desire 
    for the triumph of genetic idealism has laced modern society with many 
    unusual and unprecedented social problems.  Subconscious angst has 
    increased tremendously because of the many tangential issues, such as 
    abortion, the right-to-die movement, genetic selection, cloning and 
    on.  The ability for the human race to be more involved in it's future 
    development has many different people and cultures worried, and 
    understandably so, when one considers the churning cycles of 
    mind-numbing cruelty that have continued all throughout Earth's 
    history.

    Which is not to say that the desire for an ordered, more racially 
    homogenous world is necessarily an evil wish, not at all; it's just 
    that the wistful idealism on the part of proponents of eugenics, seems 
    to always be corrupted by a balance of marked vampiric blood-lust.  
    Somehow, there always seems to be a need to couple the general desire 
    to better the race with hostile actions against elements that are 
    considered to be enemies of such wishes.  I believe this is due to 
    there being some connection between the disobedience of the Nephilim 
    and their progeny in the antediluvian world.  The people that are 
    touting an Aryan ideal, are really only referencing a racial typology 
    that is not existent on this Earth currently, the one-time Sons of 
    God, that blatantly disobeyed His directives, by descending and having 
    sexual relations with human women.

    The Lord Himself tells us that (upon His return, I assume) He is going 
    to 'make of one blood all of the tribes of man.'  I think that gives 
    everyone reason to believe that God is very interested in producing a 
    far greater biological unity at some future time in Earth's history.  
    I believe that it is very crucial that we realize that, due to natural 
    human chauvinism, we will be largely unable to produce the 
    far-reaching ideal results that many of us would like to see.

    Also, we must be aware that there are many different schools of 
    thought, when it comes to questions of racial idealism.  There are 
    people, such as the Nazis, who believe that there should be one 
    principal race erected above all others, and then there are groups 
    that take a more Romantic view of ethnic ideals, where several groups 
    are arranged in a sort of mild version of a caste system.  Then, there 
    are the Vedicists, or Theosophists, whose views, in my opinion, differ 
    only slightly from those of the Nazis.  Malthusians are probably the 
    most current and popular crowd of people subscribing to such theories, 
    and the most pragmatic, I think.  However, I don't agree with any of 
    those groups.

    The Aryan paradigm runs through almost all of those, and other similar 
    cultural philosophies.  It's extremely important to understand that.  
    I believe that the so-called 'Aryans' of this world, are the 
    inheritors of a very small ratio of genetic and/or spiritual 
    substance, that has been passed down through the ages from the time of 
    the disobedience of the Nephilim.  I feel uneasy about reaching this 
    conclusion, but I believe that it may be completely, or partially 
    accurate.

    You must remember that Satan and his host, basically deeply hate 
    humanity, probably because of the pronouncement of eternal damnation 
    that has been brought against them by the Most High.  They are 
    ultimately going to be eternally destroyed for their disobedience, and 
    those of us that cooperate with them will share the same sentence.  
    You cannot get around that.  Think carefully.

    Back to issues of race.  Besides Aryans, there may be several other 
    groups in the Heavens that have some commonalties with the humans of 
    Earth.  I personally believe that there is one particular type that is 
    vaguely Mongoloid, that may inhabit one or more of the moons of 
    Jupiter and/or Saturn, where I also believe Aryans of the Nordic type 
    may dwell (as well as on Mars), in some other time-space sector.  
    Sound unbelievable?  Heh.  Don't forget that I am referring to those 
    planets being potentially inhabitable in other time-space zones.

    Again (I said that I would pepper these writings with doubt), I cannot 
    claim to know that these things are absolutely true; even if I did, I 
    would have a very difficult time providing proof, right?  In fact, I 
    believe that race (which I will refer to as Lemurians) was originally 
    based on Tiamat, and some of them may have migrated to other moons and 
    planets in this solar system (and perhaps others), just prior to that 
    world's destruction.  Venus may have been one of them.  I think Venus 
    may have been one of the very first planets populated in this solar 
    system, and that it may have once had a completely different orbit.  
    It, also, may be the place of the resurrection.  Jesus called himself 
    'the Bright and Morning Star,' which is a reference to the planet 
    Venus from the ancient world.  But also, there is the fact that 
    'Lucifer' is another name for the planet Venus.  Confusing.  Trying to 
    make sense of what is meant by references to a Heavenly War is 
    challenging, but extremely interesting, no?

    In fact, I will really go out on a limb; I believe that war may have 
    been primarily between those two groups of beings, the Aryans and 
    Lemurians.  Additionally, I think that the 'serpent' described in the 
    Bible may have originally corresponded to a particular genotype 
    amongst they that dwell in the Heavens, but probably now more 
    generally refers collectively to all creatures that ally themselves 
    with the enemies of Yahweh.

    I have had countless experiences with nearly all racial types here on 
    Earth, that indicate to me that Satan has been successfully operating 
    in every cultural subdivision of mankind.  Don't make the mistake of 
    believing that any one Earth group is superior, or more righteous than 
    another, in the spiritual sense.  That is simply not so.  We are all 
    considered equally by the Lord, I believe.  While it is observably 
    true that portions of some groups may have different abilities, 
    strengths and weaknesses from others, please remember that God tells 
    us that 'all have sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God,' and 
    that 'there is none righteous, no, not one.'  Many of us would like to 
    believe that our particular 'team' is better than that of others.  
    That is human nature, such as it is in this age of ungodly confusion.

    I think that the Lord may be attempting to bring about a certain level 
    of cooperation between forces in the Heavenlies that may have once 
    been at odds with one another, in an attempt to reduce the casualties 
    of the Great War.  I have tried to be as careful as possible in 
    getting to the point of saying this, because I know that it would not 
    be to the liking of many.

    If I am correct in assuming this, there might be some explanation as 
    to exactly why there has been a corresponding realignment of certain 
    attitudes on Earth, as regards racial relations.  This may be largely 
    due to a greater level of communication and cooperation between 
    various opposing forces in the Heavens.  If it is truly so, let us all 
    pray that the greater harmony that seems to be pending will be brought 
    about under the will of the Most High, and not from the result of ages 
    of occultic manipulations by sorcerers, which would assure us of a 
    very temporal, and ultimately phony peace.

    God tells us that 'though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as 
    white as snow.'  That, I believe, might possibly be a hint.  Nothing 
    is impossible for the Lord.

--- jewel.log
    Step inside this place
    Sun Apr 25 1999

    Went scrounging.  Found a lot of little things.  Returned home twice, 
    and then decided to take the four VCRs that I'd found over the past 
    few months to VN Electronics, down the street.  The guy gave me $20 
    for the four broken machines.

    Found a Jewel CD, which was encrusted with food-oriented filth.  Wiped 
    it off with a liberal amount of Windex.  I have it in the CD player 
    right now; it is playing, with no skips, so far.  I love her vocal 
    style, although it can seem a little formulated and contrived after a 
    while.  I can tell that she is a overly intelligent person, hiding 
    behind a less cerebral front.  And a woman, which makes her dangerous.  
    She reminds me of Brenda Gorman, an old friend of mine.

    Right now she is singing a song about Jupiter (it is probably called 
    'Swallow the Moon'), which makes me feel quite sad, for some 
    unexplainable reason.  There are so many reasons that I love women, 
    even though they are often so aggravatingly chaotic and fragile.

    I was going to write about some more important issues, but I have been 
    overcome by emotion.  The sadness of my confusion about the Heavens 
    has impelled me to feel strangely sentimental; it is difficult to sort 
    out the many conflicting feelings.

    Called [NAME DELETED] - left a message.  He is not there, probably.  
    Aggravating.

    I must leave a note about my continuing obsession with Bjork.  Even 
    after trying for (literally) years to forget about her, I think of her 
    every single day.  Very, very bothersome.  I have attempted to replace 
    her with thoughts of other women, to no avail.

--- redwagon.log
    Elementary, my dear Watson
    Wed Apr 28 1999

    Have been cleaning this consarned cluttered room all day.  [NAME 
    DELETED] called on Tuesday evening, and we had a short talk about his 
    actions with the FBI, regarding trying to get them to take the concept 
    of psychotronic assaults seriously.  Apparently, they are more willing 
    to investigate these sorts of complaints as of late.  I would imagine 
    that they have been hearing from more and more people as time goes on.  
    Certainly, they would have to separate the kooks and psychosomatic 
    cases from whatever base of people would actually bother to contact 
    them about such things.

    In a way, it would be pretty hard for me to try and talk with them 
    about my experiences, because even I would like to believe that I am 
    just losing my mind, or something to that effect.  I am not.  And 
    neither is Mr. [NAME DELETED], who seems to have (as I just implied) 
    gotten in touch with some people that will actually seriously consider 
    these complaints.  I know that it is a very big deal for them to get 
    to the point of understanding better what has been happening.  It 
    really is a matter of national security.

    We discussed the possibility that there might be a contingency of 
    psyops experts trying to encourage the development of 'mental 
    illnesses' in the lives of the wealthy, for the purpose of attempting 
    to steer them to certain psychotherapists, who, hypothetically (if 
    they were in cahoots with such a scheme) might forward percentages of 
    their clients' payments for their psychiatric services to intelligence 
    bureaus, or private espionage teams.  That seems to be feasible.  Who 
    knows?

    Another thing I mentioned, was that I believe that the fact that so 
    many of the offensive psychological forces operating in the United 
    States are addicted to drugs of various kinds, including heroin and 
    cocaine, is absolutely no accident.  That is all by design, I am quite 
    sure.  As a simple illustration to try and support my view, I reminded 
    [NAME DELETED] that the entire nation of China was more or less 
    enslaved by the British for a very long period of time, by their 
    encouraging the widespread consumption of opiates.  At a certain 
    point, from what I have gathered from various historical chroniclers, 
    many of the common, and also the wealthier people were heavily 
    addicted to opium smoking (which is one of the reasons why the 
    symbolic 'opium den' is often associated with the China of yesterdays 
    ago; I think that many modern Chinese resent that, and probably 
    consider it to be something of a negative cultural stereotype, and 
    understandably), and were easily manipulated by the Brits, who 
    probably had their fingers in most of the political pies of the time.

    How was itty-bitty Britain able to have such a powerful cultural sway 
    over huge tracts of Asia, and for such long periods of time?  Drugs, 
    mon.  They were a very big part of what the Anglos were able to 
    accomplish in China, and India, as well.  But you won't hear much 
    about such realities in many of the more antiseptic history books, 
    which generally minimize the perception of such things, by reducing 
    it all to a lot of coded-language bullcrap.

    Pretty much the same thing appears to be happening here in America, 
    only I don't believe that it is exclusively the British who are 
    taskmastering the numskulls that are perpetrating the shenanigans that 
    have been happening here.  They may have actually initiated the 
    sequence of 'traditional' events that led us down the flowery path to 
    destruction, but it seems as though other nations, after having 
    learned their heinous methods, have followed along in their 
    footprints, and are now the main aggressors, as regards our being 
    politically and culturally dismantled.  The poisonings and violatings 
    are all for the benefit of they that hate us, whose numbers are 
    growing steadily day by day.  Eventually, we will probably be 
    violently conquered by the Russians and/or the Chinese and French.  
    Probably, nobody would believe that, if I just flat out said it.  
    These people are very stupid.  They don't understand Socialists, and 
    other sorts in that political vein.  The way that we are being deeply 
    hoodwinked is really amazing.  Also, very sad.  But they will not 
    listen.  Dey tink dat de big bad woild is our fwiend.

    The fact that nobody has even attempted to discuss any of these 
    matters with me, is reason enough for me to wash my hands of it all.  
    Let someone else be a hero.  I have had enough.  If the blasted 
    politicians don't care, why should I?  They are the elected officials.  
    I'm going fishing.  Heh.

    Sunday night (after partying a little in the neighborhood with Hutch, 
    and a Native guy), I went looking for Lynda.  Found her, and Victoria, 
    at the bar on Damen and Lawrence.  They were up to no good, and I was 
    fairly drunk, and acted pretty foolish, as best as I remember it.  
    Lynda said that Tony broke up with her from jail.  I sort of made 
    light of it, because I hope that he really isn't going to leave her, 
    what with the baby, and all.  I briefly saw Edith, who was watching 
    little Julio Antonio at her home.

    I don't know, maybe I shouldn't have been so flaky with Ms. Dahm; she 
    seemed a bit strange - I got insecurity vibes from her.  She usually 
    seems very confident.  I am worried about her.  Her ex-husband, Gigs 
    showed up at the bar, after about an hour or so.  Lynda and Victoria 
    split, and Gigs and I got to talking about Joe Frank and Gila, who he 
    says are still sliding around the Chicago area.  I would be glad to 
    see them, even though I know that they are trouble.  We also discussed 
    Marco D'Orio (the spelling of his last name may be incorrect; I've 
    never seen it written out), who (I think) is still in New York, and 
    Junk, who is a guy that [NAME DELETED] lived with at Hell House (an 
    old squat on Milwaukee avenue, near Halsted - circa 1986-1989).

    Junk was a heroin addict, who actually died in Hell House, which 
    greatly disturbed [NAME DELETED], who had fought with him on one 
    occasion, over basically nothing ([NAME DELETED] smashed one of the 
    dude's bottles of Jack, which got him real mad, and he pounded on 
    [NAME DELETED] a bit; Gomez, the old bassist from Ujenyx, came to Mr. 
    [NAME DELETED]'s rescue).  I guess Gigs and Junk were fast friends, 
    because Gigs reverently described him as a 'good brother,' which is 
    about the finest compliment that you can get from most bikers.  Gigs 
    is a biker (a very mellow sort - a tech; he used to have some old 
    Indians in front of his home, which I thought was cool), but I don't 
    think he rides with any club.

    In fact, I tried to get him to remember Caveman (who may have been an 
    Outlaw once) and his girlfriend, Mickey.  But he couldn't recall them.  
    I'm pretty sure that Caveman knows Gigs, because he mentioned Marco.  
    Ah, whatever.

    Gigs seems to want to reunite with Lynda.  He asked me if she ever 
    talked about him, and I said that she did, but she really hasn't 
    mentioned him more than a few times, now that I think about it.  They 
    are supposed to be going on a date of some kind this week.  I hope she 
    stays with Tony, because of their child.  But that's their business, 
    and I plan to stay completely away from all of it.  I've got to get my 
    life on track.

    Gigs and I drove around for a while, looking for the girls, but they 
    had slipped away into some nook or cranny.  Eventually, I headed 
    towards home, after collecting a Radio Flyer red wagon that I'd found 
    earlier, from behind Edith's building, where I'd left it.  Stumbled 
    towards my neighborhood, scrounging all the way.

    About one-third of the way back, as I was digging in a bin, a girl in 
    back of a building asked me if I was collecting aluminum cans.  I said 
    no, and that I was looking mostly for computer components.  When I 
    asked if she had any disks, she went into her apartment, and brought 
    one out and gave it to me.  Her name is [NAME DELETED], and she's 
    originally from St. Louis.  I sat in her apartment for a few hours, 
    and learned that she's a DJ, and spins at clubs somewhere in the city.  
    She was pretty cool, and actually knew about the Cocteau Twins, and 
    the various subcultural issues.  Also, she works at a storage place on 
    Ravenswood.

    After leaving her home, I continued scavenging, and wound up 
    collecting a huge amount of good stuff in the wagon, most of it very 
    decent.  [NAME DELETED] had a fit, when I finally arrived, at about six
    in the morning.  I had to make four or five trips up and downstairs to
    get it all in my room.  One thing that I found kind of surprised me - a 
    glossy sticker of the name '[NAME DELETED],' which is a fairly 
    uncommon name, I think.  It kind of cheered me up, because I have been 
    thinking of her a lot over the past year or so.  I am going to write 
    to her soon, in fact.

--- symb.log
    A definition must not be circular
    Wed Apr 28 1999

    Just got off of the phone with [NAME DELETED].  Tried to say a few 
    concise words about the disturbing things that have been happening 
    over the course of the past few years, but, as usual, it mostly 
    tumbled out all jumbled.

    I described part of an Art Bell radio show that I'd listened to a 
    while back, that involved an account (given by a military aerospace 
    engineer) of a descent into the bowels of what I believe was the 
    legendary Wright-Patterson Air Force base.  This took place somewhere 
    in the fifties or sixties.  The engineer, who was/is a literal rocket 
    scientist, said that his services had been requested by some military 
    officials that had recovered several downed spacecraft.  They wanted 
    him to help them back-engineer certain components, or something 
    similar.  He described being lowered several levels below the inside 
    of a very large hangar, on a huge hydraulic platform that approached 
    the size of a football field.  When the scientist was being led 
    towards the craft that he was to examine, he reported having the odd 
    sensation that the machine was responding to his thoughts, and had 
    actually adjusted some mechanical operational parameters accordingly.  
    I think that he mentioned something about lights altering their 
    intensity on some kind of control panel.

    In a completely different Art Bell show (I just remembered this), 
    another military-oriented man said something about a recovered alien 
    actually having been an integral part of the mechanical operations of 
    another recovered spacecraft.  One, or both of the men being 
    interviewed described the effecting of a electro-mechanical connection 
    between a biological electrical source (such as a humanoid brain), and 
    a purely electronic system (such as the navigational circuitry of a 
    spacecraft) as symbiotic technology.

    This has always been very interesting to me, because I have had many 
    experiences, where some very unusual synchronistic occurrences between 
    my mind, and electronic systems have taken place.  Not too many, but 
    enough to seriously provoke my interest in the topic.  I told [NAME 
    DELETED] that enduring the past four years of brain-busting torture 
    may have helped me to learn some very subtle engineering principles, 
    that may well be of great use in designing specially tailored 
    countermeasures against psychotronic assaults.

    In referring to certain aspects of the psychotronic phenomena, I made 
    an analogy using the fluctuation of the distribution of tension in an 
    arm-wrestling match as an illustrative example.  It wouldn't be very 
    wise to get overly detailed at this time, so I will leave it at that 
    for now.  I am not going to allow anyone to pilfer any more of my 
    ideas.  Hopefully, I will be able to get [NAME DELETED] and I hooked 
    up with upright individuals, that will help us to develop our 
    engineering concepts.

--- dolly.log
    It's all about the girlies
    Thu Apr 29 1999

    How best to mend the fabric of American society, after so many decades 
    of institutionalized and increasingly grievous errors?  It is even 
    possible to begin to think about such a thing?  The weight of misery 
    is very great, and many people have long ago given up nearly all hope.

    I must admit that my love for our nation, and the world in general, 
    has grown somewhat cold.  However, I still feel compassion for most 
    people, including some of those that I hate.  I don't like being 
    angry.  It isn't part of my nature.

    Though I also am 'seeing through a glass darkly,' I feel very strongly 
    that the time has come for the people that have been involved with the 
    'traditional' approach to life, to come up out of denial about what it 
    is that they have been doing, and what, if those activities continue, 
    the ultimate consequences of their actions will mean for our nation and 
    the rest of the world.

    They need to squarely face up to what has been happening, ala the 
    backyard shenanigans, and then commit themselves to completely 
    eradicating those practices.  If that can be accomplished, untold 
    miracles of God's mercy could follow, I believe.

    As unlikely as it seems that such a thing could happen, I am still 
    holding out hope that it just might.  Those foolish and evil 
    activities, and their deeper meanings, need to be clearly revealed.  
    One great problem, is that I am certain that it would take a 
    monumental form of bravery on the part of some of the highest 
    authorities in our land, to lend the necessary credibility to such an 
    unprecedented undertaking.  The kind of bravery, that practically none 
    of our elected officials have, as best as I can determine it.

    That we have such a sad collection of largely perverse, 
    chicken-hearted souls as our leaders is no accident.  That, too, is 
    also by design.  They certainly are not on fire for Jesus Christ.  
    They are on fire for dat monkey stick.  No heroes among them.  They 
    would rather chuckle all the way down to the pits of hell, than to 
    finally snap out of the stupor that they've been in for so long.  It's 
    almost as if they have been cryogenically frozen in a state of 
    negative spiritual suspension.  Don't they realize that what they do 
    is wrong?  Will they ever?

    I am getting angry again.  Well, since at this moment there is nothing 
    much that I can do to help amend matters, I will write about some 
    other actions that might help improve things a bit.

    Many lines of text have been written about the lack of positive role 
    models in the media for our children.  But the media should not be 
    held responsible for the raising of our children.  The immediate 
    family should contain the prime role models for kids.  The fact of the 
    matter, is that we have, in many quarters, very incompetent parents 
    (and extended family structures).  I know, because I am one of them.  
    Absent fathers, crazy mothers, creepy relatives.  Many of our current 
    generation of adults have been raised in single-parent, or 
    'alternative.' types of families.  In many of those families, the 
    personality profiles of some (or even most or all) of the prime role 
    models often left much to be desired in the minds of the children 
    (that are now grown-ups).  Consequently, many of our modern adults 
    have inherited various patterns of deeply dysfunctional behavior.  All 
    of the blame for societal instability cannot be blamed on non-standard 
    family structures, however.  Many traditional two-parent families have 
    a very poor psycho-spiritual constitution.

    So basically, the root of the problem, is the family, and how 
    immediate role models affect children, either positively or adversely.  
    If we are seriously interested in improving our civilization, we must 
    needs be interested in the increased wholesomeness of immediate family 
    structures.  Sound families are the fundamental hallmark of a truly 
    progressive and stable world.

    There have always been evils within kinships of all kinds, all 
    throughout history.  Perhaps in former ages, certain evils were even 
    more pernicious than they are currently.  The main thing to remember, 
    is that this age has a far more complete, and easily accessible 
    palette of wickedness for children to choose from, than nearly any 
    other historically recorded era.

    As the actions of many parents become increasingly questionable, the 
    onus of moral orientation and development is often placed upon the 
    children themselves, which can cause considerable psychological strain 
    for them.  That should not be, because proper instruction on mores 
    should be administered by the guardians.  If they are not teaching 
    good moral and ethical conduct, the youngsters will suffer in many 
    ways, both immediately, and later on in life.

    We have significant portions of the last few generations of our 
    citizenry, that have been raised in families that enthusiastically 
    advocate extremely antichristian behavior, such as witchcraft, 
    homosexuality, consumption of narcotics, criminal activities, 
    etcetera.  Many of those people have achieved very high positions of 
    power in our civilization, and are now broadcasting their moral 
    sensibilities far beyond their immediate families, to the nation at 
    large.  So, we see that our nation's spiritual profile has profoundly 
    changed, and by many estimates, for the worse, because of the 
    alterations that have taken place within our nation's family 
    structures.

    Many military-minded, jingoistic souls would like to attribute the 
    blame for all of this to specific groups, such as homosexuals, blacks, 
    Jews, whites, etcetera.  I don't think that any one group is 
    exclusively responsible for lowering the collective decency of our 
    people.  There is blame enough for all groups.  Even if it were true 
    that only one or two groups were the prime offenders, all of us should 
    feel somewhat responsible, for we are all partakers of sin to some 
    degree.  It greatly irritates me that certain groups do appear to be 
    more offensive than others at this time.  Keep in mind the entire 
    history of our nation, and how currently less hostile groups were once 
    (and could again become) far more transgressive.  Also, certain 
    cultures that haven't had many opportunities to make a negative impact 
    over the course of American history, soon might.  Think of that.

    I said that I would try and give advice.  I will attempt to do that.  
    The encompassing issue is ennobling the relationships between children 
    and their parents or guardians.

    Since there seems to be very little hope of being able to 'convert' 
    the many generations of people that have been embracing certain 
    antichristian lifestyles to a more Christian perspective, I will just 
    say that their errors have been harming us all, not only them, and 
    their immediate families.  Our nation is sodden with pornography, 
    fornication, and perversions of every wrinkle, spot and stripe, thanks 
    to them, and their loose moral codes.

    Drugs of all kinds are readily available in every little hamburg that 
    graces our map.  Crime is endemic, and a way of life for many urban 
    and suburban children.  All of this, is largely because of 
    dysfunctional families, and the far-reaching consequences of 
    immorality.

    What can we do?  The first, and most important thing that I would 
    recommend, quite seriously, is prayer.  The difficulties involved in 
    surmounting the obstacles arrayed against those of us that care about 
    these issues are many.  We must enlist the help of the Lord.  There is 
    no way that one, or even all of us, can tackle these mind-numbing 
    problems.  I want to get inebriated, just thinking about it all.  I'll 
    drink you all under the table.

    The book of Ephesians (also in Revelation), tells us that the Lord has 
    a secret plan for the world.  I believe that I may understand some of 
    it, but I am not going to share my thoughts on that with you right 
    now.  I just want to say that I really love God, and that He, and 
    Jesus have been the main inspirations in my life.  The Lord has 
    promised to show us His exceeding grace in the ages to come, and there 
    truly will be unlimited and unimaginably wonderful times in the 
    future, for those of us that continue to remain faithful, in these 
    perplexing times.

    The Lord is very real, and His good will towards us, as well.  
    Experience with deprivation, misunderstandings, hostility and other 
    assorted misfortunes and miseries have taught me this.  The ages to 
    come are real.  Very real.  I want you to be there, to enjoy them with 
    me, and the rest of us that also know the truth about the future rule 
    of Jesus Christ.

    Until the age of righteousness begins, we will have to do our best to 
    remain calm and good.  We will also have to try and figure out ways to 
    maintain our societal equilibrium.  The Satanic forces have really 
    been pushing it, and the damages sometimes seem to be irreparable.  
    With faith, not so.  We may yet be able to lift the nation up out of 
    the dark, smoky pit that it has fallen into.  I hope so, but one must 
    be realistic.  The Lord may not want us to recover.  He may be 
    planning to destroy our nation, even.  Such things must be considered.  
    We have been very wicked, indeed.

    The children.  If we want a more hopeful outlook for this age, then we 
    must prepare to be more concerned with all aspects of child 
    development, and young people in general.  We cannot continue to allow 
    out posterity to be desensitized by the endless depictions of violence 
    and debauchery in the media, or permit them to embrace the many evil 
    familial permutations, such as 'open' or gay marriages.  Those 
    practices utterly decrease sincere love and respect for mankind 
    (contrary to the beliefs of people who advocate such abominations), 
    and often lead to great confusion, cynicism and stark alienation for 
    many youths who are exposed to them.  God is against the people who 
    live like that, and the Holy Spirit does not permanently dwell in many 
    such homes, from my (albeit limited) experiences with those types of 
    households.  I have tried, mostly unsuccessfully, to engage in 
    discussions about God with people living along those lines, and have 
    often encountered the deepest forms of antichristian hostility.  Such 
    domiciles are practically spilling over with demons.

    To digress a moment, I will mention that I have heard many tales over 
    the years, concerning young people being abused and/or molested by 
    their relatives, or close friends of their family.  In nearly all of 
    the cases where the children approached another family member to 
    complain about such an incident, they suffered ridicule, or denial 
    from the person that they confided in.

    Several young men have told me stories of being raped by friends of 
    their parents, or even family members.  One young girl, a friend of 
    mine, said that her grandmother molested her when she was about nine 
    years of age.  I have heard too many similar stories, to believe that 
    they were all false fabrications by imaginative young minds, or 
    something like that.  I think that they are all too true, and that 
    there is a really sickening dark side to our nation, and much of the 
    the rest of the world, that involves the ritualistic abuse of 
    children, and wholesale denial of it by the perpetrators.

    Of course, if it is so (and it appears to be), it isn't a good thing 
    at all.  That, as best as I understand it from experience, is exactly 
    how the worst curses of demonic possession are passed on from one 
    generation to another.  By rapes, molestations, and other types of 
    violence.  Which is why those practices must stop.  If they are not 
    brought to an end, we will be looking at a fully demonized 
    civilization, like Sodom and Gomorrha, which the Lord hated, and 
    deliberately destroyed.

    The quickest way to begin the improvement of the progression of our 
    social affairs, is to encourage the moral fortitude of the very 
    youngest children, but especially of the young ladies, who, I 
    believe, are morally superior in certain ways to young men.  That is, 
    before they become corrupted by the endless wickedness of the world.  
    Once they have been laid to waste by the many destructive vanities, 
    you can forget about the concept of them being morally superior.  
    Chastity and other virtuous qualities, are fantastically important to 
    imbue in little girls.  Nasty young ladies (and men, of course) have 
    done untold damage to the spiritual nature of this nation and world.  
    Do not doubt it.

    The animistic sensualization of the English-speaking world has 
    proceeded unchecked for about four or so decades.  It is time for all 
    sane people to realize where our vacuous immorality has led us, and 
    whether or not we want to continue our descent into lightlessness.

    Improving the spiritual quality of our children's' lives will make a 
    gigantic difference, over the course of the next few decades, if the 
    Lord will allow us the opportunity to have such hope for renewal.

    Women are very important in all of this, for many, many reasons.  Too 
    many to go into at this time.  But the short answer as to why that is, 
    has to do with the fact that women are the main initiators and 
    arbiters of marriage alliances, and the subsequent consequences of 
    marital bliss or discord.  It is very important that we understand 
    this, and that we encourage our women to choose as wisely as possible.  
    To select men with the best moral and ethical qualities that they can 
    find.  Not a bunch of slouches.  Our future as a nation and world 
    depend on important (and very simple, no?) understandings such as 
    this.

    I am hoping that God will help us all.

--- seiko.log
    We never get to it
    Sat May 1 1999

    Prepared another floppy disk, and a few printouts for [NAME DELETED] 
    yesterday morning and afternoon.  He mentioned having troubles with 
    his mouse driver, so I supplied a few files that may help the 
    situation.  I also included a nice set of utilities, that he might 
    find helpful.  Really, the main reason I wrote him, was to let him 
    know that he can use the HP scanner, if he wants to.  With all of his 
    piles of paperwork, I bet he could really make good use of it, 
    especially since he has a Zip drive.  I can't use it until I get a 
    computer with a USB port, anyhow.

    Thursday evening, [NAME DELETED] came home with a load.  After sorting
    through it, she let me have some CDs; most of them were really skippy,
    but one, an album (Citron) by what I am assuming is a Japanese
    performer, Seiko Matsuda, is pretty cool.  Sort of an Asian Jazzy Pop
    formula, which is one of my very favorite forms of music, when it is
    done correctly, with just enough energy and verve.  I have been
    anticipating a really big wave of Asian Pop stars to make it big in
    the US for going on a decade now, but it still hasn't yet happened.
    Even so, if we have enough peaceful time ahead of us, I am sure that
    it will.

    I have seen some Asian musical acts that really excited me.  Not so 
    much because of a lot of flash and fashion crap (which is what most of 
    our popular music is heavily dependent on), but because of a certain 
    sort of presence, and style of presentation, that is very unique and 
    invigorating, again, when it is done correctly.  There was a time when 
    the mere mention of the words 'Asian Pop star' would make people 
    snicker heartily into their sleeves, if not out loud.  That is 
    changing, as I can see.  No more tone-deaf, monotonous voices, and 
    mechanical and imitative musical styles.  Most of the better Asian 
    groups that I have heard over the past ten years have been extremely 
    original and totally refreshing.  They make a lot of our performers 
    seem like swamp things, bogged down in tar pits of stylistic rehash.  
    Aren't I the world-weary music critic?  Snik.

    I really like Seiko's voice.  One of the songs, 'We Never Get To It' 
    (I think that's the title - I only have the CD) really impressed me, 
    although it is a bit dated (the album is from 1988).  An Asian chick 
    that can sing well is a beautiful thing.  A good band, and back-up 
    singers, too.  I also was given an Alanis Morissette audio CD, which 
    contains an interview with her, from a few years ago.  Haven't 
    listened to it yet, but it isn't very scratched, so it should play 
    fine.  She can sing well too, but she can get kind of whiny, like a 
    lot of chick singers from all around the world.  It's a syndrome.  I 
    like her, and it'll be interesting to hear the interview.

    Yesterday was probably one of the first days in a very long time that 
    I watched zero hours of TV.  Feels good; I'm going to try for day 
    number two, but it'll be hard, because there are new cartoons in the 
    morning.

    [continued in the file TER2.TXT]

    Copyright 1999, 2000
    Terry Washington aka Phoenixx
    1048 W Winona 3E
    Chicago IL 60640-3125
    773-561-0737
    HTTP://members.tripod.com/~mdars/experiences/ter.htm
    HTTP://www.angelfire.com/journal/archer/index.html
    phoenixx100@hotmail.com

    This file was last updated on Thursday, July 13th, 2000 at 3:03am.