(I dedicate this to a wonderful man who has given so very much to me, and who is the inspiration for this writing, I send him my love, always and forever....Butterfly)
Recent changes in my life have guided me to thinking about the idea of what I have learned about Love. How grandly life and experience has colored my past imaginings of what Love was all about.
As the majestic oak patiently lets go of the leaves that adorn its branches; so too, have I released many of the unrealistic expectations I previously had of Love.
Now, as the seasons of my life have changed, the brilliant sunsets of relationships have gilded my understandings in a light of understanding. Love and its definitions have continued to confound humanity as a whole. It is entirely based on individual expression and experience.
For myself, I see my naive fantasies are slowly maturing into the knowledge of what love is and what love is not. Love is not possession, neediness, ownership, trade-offs, expectations, or fulfilling one's own needs, nor is it holding on to someone who may wish to fly free. That is not love, but fear hiding behind the appearance of Love.
From what I now see, Love can only exist where the ego is put aside, where the heart can rise above the fear of risk and where it arises out of wanting solely for others what they want for themselves. Easy? Not by any stretch of the imagination.....it is one of the most difficult things a person can endeavor to achieve, but also the way to set oneself free to love unconditionally.
For true Love means the shedding of false pride, exposing our own human needs and frailties. It honors the rights of those we love, granting them the very things we would wish for ourselves, and also gifting them with the freedom to make individual decisions without interference or guilt induced by us.
Love, in fact, says this: Yes, I cherish your individuality, your differences from mine, your need to be your own unique person. I support you in all of your goals, I am with you throughout the struggles, I stand by you as you move forward and become more beautiful. I do not seek to hold you back, judge you or inhibit you in any way. My only goal is to assist you in your growth as a person, to want for you what YOU want for you. My love for you shall not lessen, nor shall it disappear, for Love is always in existence, it is the force that resides in the heart and soul of every person.
Love is what we all are.....for you ARE Love, I am Love. Therefore, while we have free will in expressing or withholding love, it is there nonetheless. To answer any question, ask yourself "What would Love do now?"
In my own life, the honest answer to that has been in setting free the very people I love. I have found it to be the ultimate challenge, to love them without expectation, without condition, to merely love them wholeheartedly and for who they are, while freeing them to live their own choices. Of course, my fears of being alone, of letting go, of losing love, surge right to the forefront. Tears, sadness and uncertainty cannot be ignored, only faced as they come. That is the roughest part, of that there is no doubt. Yet to claim to love someone WITH your whole heart and then hang onto them will stifle even the purest of loving intentions. It is not in gaining the possession of another's love, but in freeing them to love without contraint and to decide where they choose to experience Love for themselves, that we love both them and ourselves more honestly. For in the end......"Love is all that matters" Butterfly 2/10/02
A Life Gift for Today
For today, observe your relationships and decide if there are any areas you can lovingly set someone free; be it to make a choice differently from your own, to pursue a dream, to state their feelings without fearing they will be attacked, or perhaps, even letting them go, wishing happiness for them and saying goodbye. Simply search for a way to love someone in a better and different way than you have in the past......just for today...that is where it all begins! :-)
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Copyright Butterfly 2002
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