the celebrity episode



by darcy



this story is a total alternative universe story where being gay is completely acceptable. also, this story is done in a manner very much like a screen play, so the writing style is a lot different than my usual styles before this. still enjoy this parody of FEAR.

***additional disclaimer- i am in no way affiliated with MTV or the show FEAR. this story is done purely as a humor piece. any and all brands or movies mentioned have no relations to nsync or myself. they are used as a piece of fiction only. further more, i have nothing to do with the winchester mystery house. all my information was gathered on my tour and through websites. to the best of my knowledge the information about the house itself and any stories behind it are true. if you have further questions on the winchester mystery house you can contact me or visit their official website at: http://www.winchestermysteryhouse.com.




One day earlier

Flash...

"Welcome to the Winchester Mystery House gentlemen. How are you guys feeling?" the tour guide asked.

"Good," the five men responded in merry unison.

"Great. Well, I'd like to ask you to follow me and to stay with me at all times. With 160 rooms and many strange and bizarre characteristics, this house can seem to change before your very eyes and getting lost is an easy thing to do," the man continued.

"Lucky for us, I have a great sense of direction," Chris stated with a laugh.

"I certainly hope so, considering caretakers who have spent many years living here have stated the house has mysteriously changed and they have become lost for several hours," the tour guide informed.

"That's really creepy," Justin whispered loudly.

"Luckily that hasn't happened lately. We tour guides say that they must have just gotten turned around, which on experience is easy to do. Especially at night," the tour guide explained.

"How lovely," Lance said with no feeling.

"So join me now gentlemen as we take a tour of the Winchester Mystery House. Home to Sarah Winchester.

Flash...

"This is the main entry way. Let me tell you of the story of Sarah Winchester and what some have said to be her bizarre and crazy obsession with this house," the tour guide began.

"Great some psycho little old lady. That makes for a creepy bedtime story," Joey laughed. The other four men with him chuckled.

"It's a fascinating story really. It was said that after the untimely death of her first and only daughter and the death of her husband soon after that, Sarah had sought spiritual advice from a psychic. There upon the spiritual advisor stated that the souls of the hundreds killed by the rifle her husband had produced were haunting her. Thus the untimely deaths of her family," the tour guide continued.

"That's eerie," Justin whispered to JC.

"Shh... It's just a story. Listen," JC responded.

"The medium advised Sarah that she must buy a home in the west and construct it as the spirits told her to. Only then will they be appeased and she may perhaps even find immortality. So, Sarah moved here and bought a six room farm house and started construction, and boy did she. The Winchester Mystery House consists of 160 different rooms. It was a seven story house, but after the big earthquake it become what is today at four stories high. It's construction started in 1884 with workers building almost 24 hours a day for 38 years," the tour guide explained.

"Why did it stop?" Joey asked.

"The construction ended only upon Mrs. Winchesters death, which happened in this very house," the tour guide answered.

"Ooo... that's icky," Justin said with a shiver.

"So with the so called spirits as guides, Sarah created this house. Which includes modern heating and sewage, gaslights, three working elevators, two basements, 47 fireplaces including all gas, wood and coal burning, 40 bedrooms, about 5 kitchens, two ballrooms, one of which was still under construction at the time of her death. It also includes 40 stair cases which consist of a total of 3676 steps, 52 sky lights, 950 doors, not including cabinets, approximately 10,000 windows, 17 chimneys with evidence that there could have been two others. One chimney in fact goes from the first floor and rises up four stories and ends about 1 1/2 feet from the ceiling. You will also find here doors leading no where, stairs that rise to the ceiling, a cupboard that opens to an astonishing 1 food deep cubby, a post that is upside down, a window in the floor, doors that open one way, another cupboard that is as big as a room and much more," the tour guide said excitedly.

"More?" Lance asked.

"Yes, and we will see how construction sometimes centered around the number 13," he replied.

"How so?" JC asked intrigued.

"I will show you the kitchen drain with 13 holes and the blue room with its 13 coat hooks, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Why don't we see it for ourselves?" the tour guide asked.

Flash...

"Here we have one of the five kitchens. There have been many strange occurrences recently having to do with this kitchen. One tourist asked the tour guide she was with who they got to dress up like Sarah in the kitchen. The confused tour guide later asked his supervisor who reassured him that no one had done so or had authorization in the house but guides. Another account was when a tourist passed by the kitchen and saw water overflowing to the floor. The guide reported it immediately and upon going to clean it up, there was nothing, and here's the clincher. There is no plumbing in the house, so where the water came from even if it was there, we don't know," the tour guide explained.

"Great, just so lovely," Lance said.

"It's ok Lance. I'll be here," Chris reassured.

"Shut up Chris," Lance said sarcastically.

Flash...

"Now this room is called the seance room and is also known as the blue room, obviously since the room is completely blue. This room is where Sarah would come to communicate with the spirits. Here is where most if not all the inspiration for the bizarre construction of the house was made. You can see here the 13 coat hooks lined on the wall," the tour guide explained.

"This room gives me the creeps," Justin said with a chill.

"It's all in your head J," JC responded straining to hear the tour guide.

"There are two doors to this room. One that only opens into the room and one that only opens out of it. This room also has been notorious for sightings of Mrs. Winchester," the tour guide smiled.

"Brilliant," Lance said with a sigh.

Flash...

"This is Sarah Winchester's last known bedroom. In fact, this is where she spent her final hours and finally passed on. This room seems to have the most frequent and bizarre sightings. One tour guide reported an open window by he desk where Sarah had often sat. On the desk is a family album that is always open. The tour guide and visitors then witnessed the album pages turning in opposite direction from the breeze coming in," the guide explained.

"That's not possible," Chris laughed.

"Sir, I've been here many years and the one thing I've learned is anything is possible," the guide replied seriously.

"Chris, quiet, you'll upset her," Justin said quietly.

"Upset who? Sarah?" Chris asked continuing his laughter.

"Another account was when two authors stayed the night in this very room. They heard footsteps in the evening while they slept but dismissed it and went back to bed. Later in the wee hours of the morning they woke to hear organ music. Then a few moments later they had heard a loud crash and then silence. In the morning they checked the video surveillance. They saw one of the three organs in one of the video frames. It appeared to be normal, nothing unusual, but in the very next frame, they saw the organ keys smashed on the floor. No alarms had been tripped even though they were all on and working that night," the guide continued.

"Perfect," Lance said taking a deep breath.

Flash...

The arrival

Five figures walked into a well lit courtyard. They all carried a backpack and either a suitcase or duffel bag. They made their way to a building with it's inside lights on.

"Well, we got through this one. That wasn't so hard. Look there's the computer they told us to find," Joey said pointing to the computer.

The men walked up to the computer, they sporadically put their luggage down and made their way to the computer.

"First dare complete. Find the computer. This is going to be so easy," Chris laughed.

"Shut up Chris. We aren't even in the house yet," Justin replied in a whine.

Flash...

The place is real.

The people are real.

Flash...

Five people.

They know each other well.

They've never been here before.

Their objective: To determine if the place is haunted.

Flash...

No camera men. No crew.

Only a home surveillance system.

They film their own experiences.

They are alone.

Flash...

"Ok, so if the rest of this is as easy as finding this computer, we have it made," JC stated.

"Well, let's get this over with. Press start," Lance said pointing to the screen.

Joey sad down and directed the mouse to the start button. Eerie music spilled from the speakers. Then a deep voice boomed.

"Welcome to the Winchester Mystery House gentlemen. Hope that the tour you took earlier today was insightful. However, it is now time to get down to business. Here are the rules. Number one, you must follow the instruction in this web site in your investigation of each supernatural hot spot," the voice said. On the computer rule number one scrolled across the screen. "Number two. Use your camera equipment to document your experiences at all times. Three, if and only if you complete both nights of the investigation, you will get $50,000 donated to your favorite charity. Lastly, if you decide to quit, you will donate nothing. This is a team effort. Everyone has to do a dare or nothing will be donated."

"Sounds easy enough," JC stated as he picked up a hand held camera and turned it on.

"Like taking candy from a baby," Chris joked picking up the other camera.

"Your job tonight is to familiarize yourself with the five supernatural areas. The person in each spot is to stay there for a minimum of 15 minutes.   You are to observe carefully for any signs of supernatural presences. Then report your findings. Here are your first two hot spots. Your investigation starts now. Good luck," the voice finished.

The computer screen went blue except for a black box in the middle that stated, "First Two Hot Spots."

"Oh great here we go," Justin said nervously.

"It's ok babe. I'll be here," JC smiled holding Justin's hand.

Joey clicked the box and a layout of the house popped up. One room on the ground floor was highlighted in red. Another room on the second floor was also in red. "The first room is the kitchen. Mrs. Winchester is notorious for showing up and moving things there. Second is the blue room also known as the seance room where Mr. Winchester communicated with spirits," the voice started again.

"I'm not going to that room," Justin said his eyes wide.

"You will draw from the five straws next to the computer. The two who pick the shortest straws will go and stay in the rooms for the 15 minutes. The two who pick the medium straws will go as safeties. They will go as support or to help if anything goes wrong, however they will not be allowed to enter the room. The one with the longest straw will stay and navigate the other through the house. Oh yeah, due to remodeling there is no power in the house in which until you men yesterday, no one had been in for months," the voice informed.

"Oh shit," Justin whined.

"These must be the straws," JC said picking up the five straws and arranging them to look the same lengths in his hand.

Lance took first pick pulling a medium straw. He let out a soft sigh at the sight of it. Chris took his turn, finding himself with a short straw. "Cool," he smiled.

Joey went next pulling his straw slowly. The long straw then revealed itself, "Ha! Ha! I"m the navigator," Joey laughed trying to do his best "Flight of the Navigator" impression.

"Damn, my turn," Justin fretted. He reached for a straw. His hands trembled as he pulled the straw revealing a medium one. "Thank god," he sighed.

"It's you and me Chris," JC smiled.

"Let's do it," Chris yelled.

Flash...

12am midnight

Day One

Joey watched the four monitors in front of him. He saw each of his friends in each monitor. He knew they were still together just outside the main door. Each were equipped with a rotating steady camera that was attached to them to record them at all times, and with a flashlight.

Joey picked up his walkie talkie," Test. Test. Can everyone hear me? Over."

"Loud and clear fat one. Over," Chris' voice came threw. Joey saw Chris say it on the monitor then make some obnoxious face at the camera.

"That's a rodger, over," JC replied smiling.

Joey saw Lance with an intense face on one of the screens, "You ok Scoop? Over,"

"Yeah," Lance said.

"Lance, you have to say over so we know you're done. Over," Chris scolded.

"Shut up Chris. That's dumb. I know when you're done talking," Lance replied.

"Fine, whatever," Chris replied.

"Ok, so nix the over garbage. Baby J. How ya doing?" Joey asked laughing at his friends.

"Not good, this place is scary Joe. I'm not even inside and I have goose bumps," Justin replied. His face showed on he screen with a child like fear in it.

"You'll be ok buddy. I'll be here all the time," Joey replied then laughed softly.

He saw the four men enter the house. Their flashlights bounced around them creating a strange effect on the monitors he watched.

"OK, JC and Lance you two are going to go to the kitchen," Joey announced.

"No Joey. I'm going with JC. You can't make me go with Chris. It's too scary," Justin said his voice shaking.

"Justin, this is to do something you've never done before, so let go of JC's apron strings and go with Chris," Joey instructed.

"JC please, I can't do this without you," Justin whined.

Joey saw JC smile at Justin, "Joe, just let him. Otherwise we'll never hear the end of it. Do you really wanna hear him all night?" JC replied.

"Fine, whatever. JC you and who ever need to make your way to the kitchen," Joey answered.

"Where are we going Joe?" Chris asked.

"You and Lance need to head upstairs to the blue room," Joey responded.

"Oh, great," Lance replied.

Flash...

"OK Joe. I see the kitchen. Now what?" JC asked.

"OK JC, now you must go in there alone for 15 minutes to record any activity or to see what may go on," Joey instructed.

"You mean he has to go inside alone? That means I have to stay out here by myself. I really don't think that's a good idea," Justin replied.

"It's a good idea, and it's what we have to do to get through this," Joey responded.

"But I'll be alone in this dark hallway. I don't think I can do it," Justin said his voice full of anxiety.

"Justin. This is JC's dare, not yours. Get over it and you'll be fine. I'll talk to you," Joey laughed.

"Ok, but I need people to talk to me," Justin replied.

"Ok, I'm going in. You'll be fine babe. I'm only feet away. See ya on the other side," JC joked.

"Other side? Other side of what?" Justin asked getting freaked out.

"It's a figure of speech. You'll be fine," JC said as he leaned over and kissed Justin.

"Man guys, can't you keep your paws off each other for five minutes?" Joey asked.

"Bite me," JC said sticking his tongue out at the camera.

JC then walked to the entry of the kitchen. He pointed his flashlight into it. It looked like any old kitchen. He entered it slowly. "OK Joe, start the time. I'm in," JC said his heart pounding nervously.

Flash...

"OK Joe, we're at the stairs. They are so tiny. There has to be hundreds of them to get to the second floor," Chris said shining his light on the small steps.

"It says in the information that Mrs. Winchester was a small lady and in her old age, these steps were easier to climb," Joey informed.

"Ok, we're almost up. How is JC and Justin?" Chris asked.

"I'm fine. Hurry up so we can start the time," JC replied.

"We getting there. How's the kitchen?" Chris questioned.

"It's fine. Nothing exciting," JC answered.

"Ok, so I think we're now just outside the room Joe. Now what?" Chris asked.

"OK There should be a door in front of you. This door only goes in. You can't get out through it. You have to go in and sit in a metal chair for 15 minutes alone. Lance has to stay outside until you're done," Joey explained.

"No sweat. Going in," Chris stated pushing the door. Lance stood still his flashlight fixed on Chris until he disappeared.

"He's in Joe," Lance said.

"How are you doing Lance?" Joey asked.

"It's dark, but so far so good," Lance replied, his heart pounding.

"I'm in, start the time already Joey!" Chris shouted as he sat in the metal chair.

"Ok, you have 15 minutes. Both you and JC need to observe radio silence so you can view and listen to anything that may happen," Joey instructed.

"Roger," Chris said.

"Start it already," JC replied.

"Ok, ok, starting now," Joey answered.

+part 2+

+back to fiction+