He's staring at me. It makes me uncomfortable. It almost feels like he was staring into my soul. He can do that you know, stare into my soul. He looks at me with the most amazing green eyes.
"Talk." he says. He wants me to explain how I feel for him. He knows, he is just wanting ME to say it. I know, I didn't take all those physclogy classes and learn nothing.
"Nothing." I say. But he just keeps staring. He knows.
"Say it."
"No." I can't tell him. He is the object of my affection. I had one hell of a time telling Joey, and that's because Joey heard me say his name in my sleep.
How did I get here. How. One minute I'm in love with Dani. The next.... Lance is all I can think about.
"Chris. Just say it."
"I can't."
"Why?" He is getting impatient. That's one thing you do not want. An impatient Lance. He has enough patients for all of us. So when he loses it, you know its bad.
"You'll hate me."
"Christopher. I know now and I don't hate you."
"Than why do you want me to say it." This is ridiculous. Just say it Chris. Why cant you tell him how you feel.
He is doing it again. Searching my soul. He is the only person who can molest a soul with his eyes. How, I don't have a clue.
"I want to hear the words come from your voice."
"I hate life." I blurt out. I so hope he forgets it. Please Lance don't make me say it!!!
"Life is just a phase your going through, you'll get over it. Now, don't change the subject. Say it."
I can almost hear Dani's voice, "Just say how you feel Chris." She had been so supportive. She had forgiven me. He had even told her how he felt for Lance. She had said she loved me, but my friendship means more to her than losing me all together.
Damn Joey couldn't keep his mouth shut. He had told Justin. Justin had told JC. I'm not really sure who told Lance.
JC had been the one that had tried to get me to tell Lance. He had said "This is an opportunity." Even though, to me, it doesn't look like one.
"Opportunity alway looks bigger going than coming." Dani's voice says to me.
"Why can't you say it?" I hear myself say. I'm not sure how many seconds or even hours have passes since one of us spoke. But than again, my mind tends to think fast.
Remember Chris. What happened last time you were in love. You didn't tell them than he ran off with that Robert guy. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again. But I haven't made it yet. Maybe experience also enables you to keep from making them twice.
"Please, Chris. Please, just tell me." He is touching me. His warm hand is holding my cold one. Somehow it gives me strength I thought I lost a long time ago.
I find the words on my tongue. It would be so easy. I can say it. The 4 words I have wanted to tell him since the day I first laid eyes on him.
"I love you, Lance."