When Two Lives Cross
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Anger is a strange little concept. One minute it isn't there, but in the next minute, there it is. It seems to have a strange habit of checking into your brain, intent on spending the night or two. It can be divided into two simple categories: mild anger and insatiable rage. Mild anger takes very little to be satisfied. You get angry, you break something, poof, it's gone.Rage is a whole different thing. You get angry, you break something, you kick your cat, your cat scratches back, you grow angrier, you break some more, you burn the house, you burn the school, you burn everything else. After a few days in your padded cell, you emerge a new person and start over. In a simpler explanation, it's that little devil often found hanging on Elmer Fudd's shoulder, screaming, "Kill the wabbit! Kill the wabbit!"
A prime example of that rage is currently lodging inside Kazuma Kuwabara's head. Perhaps it’s because of the fact that Kuwabara had also undergone a little unwanted transgender operation in the process that was making him a little loose in the head. Whatever the reason, he - ahem, she - was busy strangling the unfortunate tourist guide. Judging from the expression on the said guide's face, he wasn't particularly happy with his predicament.
"Whaddaya mean, there's no cure?" Kuwabara roared into his face, shaking him hard. "There's got to be a cure somewhere!"
"He can't answer you! Let go, will ya?" Yuusuke managed to pry a few of Kuwabara's fingers off the guide's throat. The guide's face turned from near black to a weird purple color. A definite improvement.
Kuwabara relaxed her hold a bit. She was strong, even as a girl. "And why can't he?" she snapped, still gripping in her hand the very reason why he couldn't. Rage seemed to have realized there was no room left for it in her head, and proceeded to kick her brains out the back door to make room. "I’m not gonna spend the rest of my life in a female body"
"Because you're holding his vocal chords. Unless you know ventriloquism, he can't talk." That shook the guide loose. Puffing wheezily and trying to force air into his lungs, he started sputtering. "Not guide fault! Guide never say to man to dance on pole and jump in spring!"
Breathing heavily, Kuwabara continued glaring at him. As a girl, she didn't look half bad. Her hair was cut short, cropped around at the base of her neck. Her eyes were wider now, and her dark brown eyes could be seen more clearly. Her face was less oval-shaped, and the clothes she wore seemed loose and baggy.
"Have another way to be man full time." the tourist guide continued.
"There is?" Kuwabara looked a little hopeful, her anger almost gone. "How?"
"Spring of Drowned Man. Nannichuan. Very tragic story - "
"Yeah, yeah." Yuusuke interrupted. A Female Kuwabara made him nervous for a reason. He wondered if he could still beat her up when they were fighting. "Just tell us where to find it, and we’ll get going."
"Unfortunately, Nannichuan no longer in opera-"
The man’s voice ended in a squeak as Kuwabara’s hands found his throat once again.
Yuusuke sighed.
"Stop! Kuwabara-san." Yukina protested, coming over to them, and leaving behind the bevy of girls surrounding the unconscious Shizuru. "It’s not his fault, really!"
Yukina-san?! Yukina-san was talking to her?! And concerned for her?! Kuwabara turned to look at Yukina with adoring puppy dog eyes. A sweatdrop rolled down Yuusuke’s cheek. He’d almost forgotten about Kuwabara’s infatuation with the green-haired Yukina."Hai, Y-yukina-chan?" Kuwabara squeaked, gazing at her with a look in her eyes that can only be known as infinite adoration bordering on the edge of obssession.
"Kuwabara-san? Something wrong?"
"N-n-nuh-nothing." Kuwabara stammered, her face going red. Yukina was standing very close, after all.
The three people shifted uncomfortably. Kuwabara didn’t know what to say to Yukina. He just stood there with a goofy grin on her face. The tourist guide saw his chance and crept away at the first opportunity.
Yukina didn’t know why Kuwabara was acting this way. < Is she sick?>, she wondered, reaching up suddenly and feeling her forehead. That only seemed to make her redder. She could have sworn that was steam coming out of her ears.
Yuusuke just simply didn’t know what to do. Technically, Kuwabara was a male, but still........he hoped Kuwabara could learn to at least act like a female.
Maybe if he could get away with throwing him into another spring. He looked at the nearest ones. Kuwabara the Octopus or even Kuwabara the Cat was better than Kuwbara the Female. Then his eyes widened. Spring of the Drowned Yak, Ram and Eel? < How the hell did that happen?>
"Oh, that." said the guide, who was edging closer to Yuusuke, probably because he knew he wouldn’t kill him. He followed his gaze. "Very tragic story of yeti riding on ram while carrying eel fall in spring and drown what 950 year ago."
"A WHAT?!" A thousand questions sprung to mind. Do yetis exist? What was it doing on a ram in the first place? And carrying an eel? How can an eel drown?
Shizuru came to, took one look at her transsexually misplaced brother, and fainted again. Kuwabara didn’t even notice.
"Oh, stop that." Genkai complained, lookin a little haggard, which wasn’t normal for her. But then again, she had just spent ten full minutes trying to revive her, and the day was nowhere near normal.
Hiei, who was some distance apart, scowled. Kurama, who was walking towards her, paused. He wasn’t really sure what to expect, after watching Kuwabara go ballistic. But then, Hiei glared all the time. And he didn’t even seem to care that he had just undergone a gender transplant.
Still, he had to admit, Hiei was actually very pretty as a girl. She still had the same height, and her hair was as spiky as before, albeit a little longer. What was new about her was her long dark lashes, and her face and hands were noticeably feminine.
It wasn’t until he was closer when Kurama began to REALLY notice Hiei. She had discarded the long cloak she usually wore, and was wearing dark pants. Since Hiei hadn’t found the need to conceal the upper half of her body before, she was also wearing a loose, sleeveless shirt.
Her chest had expanded long since then, though.
Hiei didn’t know it, but the clothes she was currently wearing wasn’t leaving much to the imagination of anyone looking at her, as it only served to show off the shapely curves she had newly acquired that hadn’t been there before.
An observation Kurama noticed. He gulped audibly.
Hiei suddenly flickered out of view.
"Hiei?" Kurama was startled. < Where could she be going?>
Out of nowhere, the guide produced a large gleaming kettle. His aim was good, as the kettle dumped its contents all over Kuwabara. She yelped as the boiling water drenched him. "Hey! What’s the big idea, you idiot!"
Then he realized that his voice had turned masculine once more. He looked at his hands. He felt his hair. As a safety precaution, he checked under his shirt.
"I changed back?" he asked incredulously. "I’m a man again?!"
"Yup, you are." Yuusuke agreed, looking a little relieved.
"I’m a man!" Kuwabara began dancing around, a happy yet even stupider expression on his face. "I’m a man, I’m a man!"
Sweatdrops appeared on the heads of a few other tourists as they stared at a man they decided was a lunatic.
"What’s he doing, Kaasan?" said a little girl, tugging at her mother’s skirt. "Is he sick?"
"That would happen to you too, if you don’t eat vegetables." The mother warned. "You don’t want to be as crazy as him, do you?"
The little girl pouted.
"I’m a man!"
"Get a hold of yourself, willya?" Yuusuke muttered, his face red with embarassment.
"Hot water, you change back into man." The guide explained. "Cold water, you change back to cursed form."
Kuwabara stopped. "You mean it ain’t permanent?"
"It be permanent only if you find Nannichuan."
Kuwabara felt a little better. At least the only thing he would have to do is avoid cold water.
"Look out, mister!" A young boy running past him yelled, squirting him with his water gun. "Bang! Take that!"
Easier said than done.
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One minute Ranma was struggling frantically, trying to yank the damn cat from her shoulder, and the next minute she was knocked into the ground. The cat meowed, scampering away. Ranma’s first thought was < Oh great, Akane’s at it again.>
Looking up, he realized that it wasn’t Akane.
The spiky-haired girl stood and growled over him, a deadly-looking sword in a hand that was wrapped in bandages. From the way she was brandishing it, it didn’t look as if she had an injury, though.
Ranma wondered if she was one of those Chinese Amazons. Chinese Amazons were a weird lot, and the girl, although cute, looked as unusual as one can get.
She rolled out of the way just as the sword came down, nearly taking off her head. < Damn, she’s fast.>
< Damn, she’s fast.> Hiei thought, as the other girl quickly scrambled to her feet. She swung again, but missed. With the exception of Yuusuke and maybe even Kuwabara, Hiei hadn’t known any human could move this quickly.
The red-haired girl jumped straight up, and tried to attack her from above in a flurry of fists, but Hiei simply stepped out of the way, sticking out one foot while doing so. Her opponent tripped, stumbled, then landed facefirst into the ground.
< I can’t believe it! She’s better than I am!> was Ranma’s last thought before blacking out.
"Hiei!" Surprised, Hiei turned, only to feel something hot and scalding hit her face.
"What in the-?!" he roared, more of surprise than from pain.
Kurama hurried over towards him, a huge kettle in one hand. "Sorry about that." he apologized "But the Juusenkyo guy said that hot water could change you back into a male. I had to do it quick, before another accident could happen." Actually, he just wanted to change Hiei back. Looking at girl type Hiei gave Kurama thoughts he knew he shouldn’t be thinking. Of course, he wasn’t going to tell Hiei that.
"He did?" Hiei looked at himself. Kurama was right, he wasn’t a girl anymore.
"Unfortunately, cold water activates the curse." Kurama looked back at the unconscious girl. "And what does she have to do with all of this? You shouldn’t be going around picking fights, you know." he chided, picking her up and slinging her easily over one shoulder.
"She kicked me into the spring." Hiei said in a way that made it seem like a very reasonable explanation.
Kurama shook his head and began walking away. "It was an accident, most likely. Let’s hear her side of the story before you start doing anything rash." He paused for awhile, then added more quietly, against his better judgement. "Besides, you’re beautiful as a girl, you know."
Hiei stare at Kurama’s retreating back. "I am not beautiful." he stated stubbornly.
Kurama’s laughter, rich and long, came drifting back to him.
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The first thing Ranma saw when she opened her eyes was Cologne, peering down at him. It was not a nice thing to wake up to.
"Yyaaaahhhh!!! Old ghoul!"
WHAP. "Oh do be quiet, son-in-law." Cologne said, a little irritably. "I see someone has managed to beat you, after all."
Ranma sat up and looked around. She felt a little ashamed, having someone beat her for just less than a minute. Ranma was a very good martial artist, one of the best in fact, and her defeat was a huge blow to her ego. They were still at Juusenkyo, she realized. Aside from Cologne; Shampoo, Ukyou and Kodachi had crowded themselves around him.
"You okay, Ranma?" Shampoo asked.
"Oh, you had me so worried, Ranma honey." Ukyou said, engulfing him in a hug.
"Hey!" Kodachi protested heatedly.
"Aiya!" Shampoo cried, glaring daggers at Ukyou.
While his fiancees argued among themselves, Ranma continued looking around. The Tendos and his father were standing around at one side, talking quietly. There were some people mingling with them that he didn’t recognize.
Then his attention was diverted when he spotted Ryouga coming. As he sat down beside her, she noticed that he was looking at one of the people, a green-haired girl, with a strange look on his face.
"Did you find the new Nannichuan?" She asked.
Ryouga looked disgusted, then shook his head. "I asked the guide, but he said it had dried up a long time ago. We made this trip for nothing." All the while, he didn’t stop staring at the girl.
"Great. Just great." Ranma slumped back down dejectedly.
Then was jerked back up again when Kuno’s Hug of Death enclosed itself around her.
"Ah! Pig-tailed goddess! My heart is glad to see you so well-recovered! I love you, pigtailed girl!"
Ranma has had it. She had suffered defeat, she was still stuck in a female body. All that work for nothing.
And now this.
"Get. Away. From. Me!" she screamed, tossing Kuno with a kick that would have made a 49ers linebacker proud.
Kuno sailed through the air with the grace of an eagle, and fell into one of the springs with the grace of a bullfrog.
Sploosh.
"Aiyaa! You fall in Spring of Drowned Twins! Very tragic story, of twins what drowned there 800 year ago........"
Ranma had another one of her premonitions of dread.
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"It’s the least we can do." Akane insisted. "Ranma was responsible, and it’s only fair that you come and stay with us at the Tendo Dojo until we find a solution."
"For 500 yen a head." Nabiki said.
Akane gave Nabiki a Look.
"That’s very kind of you." Genkai said, "We’ll be happy to accept your offer, but I must warn you that we might be something of a nuisance. Some of us don’t have any manners." she said, eyeing Kuwabara and Hiei warily. They both eyed her back, both in female forms once again. Water guns seemed to be popular with little boys nowadays. Or at least, with those visiting the Juusenkyo Springs.
Genkai’s trained eye also noticed, that unlike previous situations, Kurama was as far away as he could get from Hiei, stubbornly looking at everyone but her. < Hmmm........>
"Oh, of course you can stay with us." Kasumi said. "We wouldn’t mind the company, wouldn’t we Father? Father?"
Soun Tendo was crying. "How?!" he sobbed. "I have three unwed daughters, two freeloading houseguests, and now I have nine more visitors staying for an indefinite period of time. How can we live with my meager income?"
"What income?" Genma asked.
"You’ll figure something out, Daddy." Nabiki said pleasantly, patting her father’s shoulder.
Soun sobbed.
Yuusuke brightened. "Hey, we’re staying for free? That’s great!"
Soun sobbed even louder.
"Ah, but it is a wonder why I have not seen you before." Startled, Kurama turned to find a dark-haired man waving a bokken in front of him. "Are thou but a mirage I see, or perhaps a green-eyed deity who hath come for me?"
"That actually rhymed." Nabiki said with some suprise.
"Ummmm........what?" Kurama gaped.
"Very well. I will DATE with you!"
"You will do WHAT?!" Kurama sputtered, backing away. "But I’m not a girl!"
"Oh my." Kasumi said. "He isn’t?"
Nabiki blinked. "He is sort of feminine.........."
"Hey!" Kurama protested, as Kuno began stalking him.
"Ah, but you are as shy as a rose that first sees the sun. Come to me, my - "
Akane willed a mallet into existence.
BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK
"Sorry about that." Akane said in an apologetic tone, finally lowering her mallet. "Kuno’s like this all the time. His brain grew tired of him and moved out a long time ago."
"Oh." Kurama said, getting as far away as possible from the bump-riddled figure on the ground.
"Hn." Hiei snorted derisively. "Almost as stupid as Kuwabara."
"*What* did you say?" Kuwabara snapped, turning to her. Then she froze, looking behind Hiei, a surprised expression on her face. "How did he get there?"
"What the hell are you looking at?"
"Ah, how the gods smile down on me. Come into my arms, my raven-haired sprite!"
Before Hiei could even turn around, or before anyone could say, "deja vu" (whichever comes first), she found herself firmly squashed into the Hug of Death, part Two.
"YOU?!!"
"I WILL DATE YOU!"
Tatewaki Kuno #2 was booted into the air, courtesy of Hiei, who had learned by that time how effective that technique was.
"He's got a twin?!" Kuwabara asked.
"No." Genma said, looking thoughtful. "Do you suppose........?"
Everyone turned to stare at the Spring of the Drowned Twins. Another splash emanating from it indicated where Kuno had landed.
"This is turning out to be an interesting vacation." Genkai remarked.
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Five hours later, at the Tendo dojo..........
"I hope we’re really not inconveniencing you in any way." Genkai said, apologizing for what seemed like the fourteenth time. She was seated at the table, watching Kodachi and Ukyou at the front lawn, trying to kill each other. She couldn’t help but be amazed. Of all the weapons in the world, why choose something like spatulas and ribbons? It looked to Genkai as if Ukyou was trying to cook Kodachi, and Kodachi was trying to gift wrap Ukyou at the same time. It was all too confusing. If Yuusuke ever showed up for practice one day with an oversized kitchen utensil as a weapon, she was going to kill him.
"Oh, think nothing of it." Soun assured her, also for about the fourteenth time.
Splash. "Noooo!! Get away from me!!" Female Ranma and Neko-Shampoo ran past them, shrieking and meowing like crazy.
"We’re used to little things like these." Soun continued as Genkai stared.
"Doesn’t bother us one bit." Genma agreed.
"I.......see."
In truth, Genkai didn’t. From what she could tell, Kasumi, fanning the still unconscious Shizuru, seemed to be the only sane person in the household. She doubted that most of them knew Kuwabara and Hiei had fallen into Juusenkyo, especially that unusual bokken-wielding boy. Shortly after arriving at the dojo, Yukina, Botan and Kurama thanked their hosts, made the customary greetings and etiquette, and retreated to the safety of the garden. So did Ryouga, who was brooding over something, and often throwing Yukina looks Genkai couldn’t decipher. Akane had caught up with the now-male Ranma and was pounding on him again, for some new atrocity she had just thought up. Nearby, Keiko was doing the same thing with Yuusuke. That was another thing Genkai had noticed. Keiko and Akane had a lot of things in common. Beating up their unofficial boyfriends, for one. And they both have a mean left hook. They even finished each others’ sentences.
BLAM. "You stupid, ungrateful - "
BONK." - pervertic, two-timing, - "
"JERK!" they both yelled in unison.
BONK BLAM BONK BLAM BONK BLAM BONK BLAM BONK BLAM BONK BLAM
Even their poundings had a rythmn.
Worse, now there were three Kunos running about, all still spouting bad poetry, and even dumber than usual. They didn’t seem to be aware of the fact that there were three of them, and were only interested in chasing Akane, someone they dubbed “the pigtailed girl”, Hiei, Kuwabara and Kurama, who,in their eyes, were the five most beautiful girls they had ever seen. Unfortunately, four of them aren’t even technically real girls.
Kurama had escaped earlier. That leaves four.
"My carrot - haired princess!" Kuno cried.
"Get away from me, you jerk!" Kuwabara yelled, running as fast as her legs can carry her.
"My raven-haired sprite!" another Kuno proclaimed, passing his counterpart from the opposite direction.
Hiei took one look at the glaze-eyed, lovestruck man charging down at her, and flickered out of view.
Kuno stopped and looked around, confused. "You can’t hide from me! My love will find a way!", he roared to no one in particular.
That leaves three. Since Akane was busy, and the pigtailed girl was nowhere to be found, that left one possible target.
"My love!"
"My love!"
"My love!"
"Eeyyyaaaggghhhhh!!!"
"Oh my." Kasumi said, looking up mildly at the melee that was wrecking their living room. "I wonder who the real Kuno is?"
"Who knows, sis?" Nabiki said, idly thumbing through a magazine, "They’re all so stupid, it’s hard to tell."
Shizuru stirred. "Owwhhhh.......where am I?"
"You’re at the Tendo Dojo," Kasumi told her pleasantly. "How are you feeling?"
"Unsure of my own sexuality. Any of you have a cigarette?"
"Somebody help!" Kuwabara shouted, trying to hold Moe, Larry and Curly off with a chair as if her life depended on it, which it actually did.
Nabiki turned a page.
"Nabiki, she’s our guest." Soun reminded her.
"Oh, very well." Nabiki sighed, "But that’ll be 100 yen." Standing up, she headed towards Kuno, a kettle in one hand. "Heads up!" she sang, throwing hot water all over one of the Kunos.
Almost immediately, the other two madmen disappeared.
"Thanks." Kuwabara panted, finally lowering the chair.
The remaining Kuno looked around, first at Kuwabara, then at Akane. He held out his hands.
"I will DATE both of you!"
Two pairs of fists landed on Kuno’s head. Beads of sweat trickled down Genkai’s forehead. Even Kuwabara’s acting weirder than usual. Not that she could blame her.
Soun didn’t even seem to notice. "Kasumi, dear." he said pleasantly. "It’s almost dinnertime. Be sure to prepare one of your special recipes, okay?"
"I’ll start making it right away, Father." Kasumi promised. "I might need a little help, though."
"Oh, I’ll help." Akane volunteered, finally turning away from the bruised Thing Formerly Known as Ranma.
Soun turned a little green. This made Genkai all the more puzzled. < He doesn’t bat an eye when his house is demolished, or when there’s a huge fight going on in front of him, but he suddenly looks sick when his daughter wants to cook him dinner? What’s wrong with that?>
"Ah, Akane," Soun began, "Maybe you should leave the cooking to Kasumi. You’ll be busy, what with entertaining our guests and all....."
"Oh, don’t worry! They’ll be fine without me!" Akane said, nodding towards the newly revived Shizuru, who was having a ball, having snatched a new kettle and a pail of water and was hounding an unsuspecting Kuwabara.
Shizuru poured the contents of the pail on Kuwabara, a wicked grin on her face.
"O - nee - sa - ma." Kuwabara protested, his voice changing at every syllable, "Cut it out!"
"Humor me, Kazuma. Serves you right, for nearly scaring me to death.A few more and I might let you go."
< Oh no.> Genkai thought. < Even sensible Shizuru.>
"Shizuru!"
Shizuru looked apologetic. "Sorry, obaasan. I just feel.....kinda weird today."
Genkai knew the feeling. She wondered if it had something to do with the Nerima air.
Ranma leaned over and whispered confidentially to Genkai. "You better get out while you can. Akane’s cooking is worse than poison. If I were you, I’d go to the nearest ramen shop and stay there till supper’s over. Go on, I’m saving you from a fate worse than d-"
That was far as Ranma got. The ears of people often ticked off are known to very sharp.
Akane kicked Ranma headfirst into the pond, drenching Genma, who was the nearest.
"Just you wait!" she snapped. "I’m gonna cook the best meal anybody’s ever tasted! Ha ha ha!!" With that ominous threat, she turned and followed Kasumi into the kitchen.
Genkai stared after her, then at the furry panda that was sitting at the spot Genma had been occupying a while ago.
"May I be excused?"
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Hiei looked around, satisfied. < Good. The idiot’s gone.>, he thought, jumping down from the tree he had been occupying. Deciding that she didn’t want to go the rest of the day as a girl, she began heading back towards the dojo, where she could hopefully snag some hot water without being seen.
"If he ever comes near me again," she muttered. "I’m gonna kill him." She was about to say more, but whatever she was going to say came out in a very un-Hiei-ish squeak.
Someone - or something - was stuck at the back of her pants, holding tightly to her derriere.
"Ah." it said happily, in a creaky voice, "So nice and full. As well-rounded as Ranma’s. Just the way I like it."
"Get OFF me!" Hiei roared, very close to losing her patience. She reached behind her, tore off the irritating object and flung it down the road.
"Wild, aren’t we?" The thing hopped back to its feet to reveal an old man with a hideous face and evil eyes. Those same eyes bulged at the sight of Hiei’s chest. (Hiei was wearing a shirt, but pervertic eyes are just as sharp as the ears of those who are royally ticked off.)
Hiei drew out his sword. "I’ll kill you, old man."
"You’re not like most of the other girls, are you? The ki emanating around you is impressive, pretty lady." Happosai looked more closely at her."Are you challenging me, then? Don’t you know who I am? I am Happosai, the all-powerful martial artist!"
Hiei bristled. He was beginning to irritate her, and it made her want to kill him all the more. "I’m not a girl, you idiot!" Hiei paused. That wasn’t true, she was a girl at the moment.
"Could have fooled me, sweet. You’re either one of those crossdressers or --- ah!" Understanding dawned in Happosai’s eyes. "You’re another of those clumsy clods who’d fallen into Juusenkyo, aren’t you? So you plan to trick me, neh?"
< Clumsy clod?!! Me?!!>
"Die!" Hiei snarled.
Happosai began to glow, large quantities of ki surrounding him. "Feel my wrath!" he exclaimed, jumping eight feet into the air and unleashing an assortment of hissing bombs at her.
He was planning to take her down in a showy display of power, Hiei realized with a bleak smile. If that’s the way he wanted it.
"Ja Ou En Satsu Ken!" Hiei blurred out of the way. When she reappeared behind Happosai, the flaming sword enveloped in black fire was already in her hands.
THWACK.
A startled (and slightly toasted) Happosai sailed through the air, catching a very good bird’s eye view of the whole of Nerima, until he was just a small speck in the sky.
Puzzled, Hiei slowly lowered his sword.
An ordinary man would have been cut into ribbons right now. Happosai, on the other hand, was barely scratched, not including the huge bump on his head where Hiei had thwacked him. Even if he had managed to avoid the blade, he should have been burned to a crisp.
Hiei shook her head in disgust. That had never happened before.
< What went wrong?>
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Ranma was shocked. The girl, one of the Tendo’s guests, the same one who had nearly killed her, had beaten up Happosai in less than a minute. And with almost no effort at all, to boot. As far as he knew, no one has ever done that before. She herself, had taken almost a day of studying Happosai's techniques to finally beat him.
She shifted slightly from her hiding place behind a nearby post, where she had taken refuge and hide until Akane simmers down. < I’ve got to learn that technique she did. I’ll be unstoppable!> She thought excitedly. < A little bit of Saotome charm, then bingo! She’ll be putty in my hands.>
She continued watching as the girl shook her head, looking disgruntled, sheathed her sword and started walking back towards the Tendo dojo. < Now, what was her name again? Lei? Shurei?>
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"Shishihoukoudan!"
A huge ball of angst-fueled ki filled the sky, startling an innocent flock of birds and narrowly missing a passing plane. Ryouga was bummed out, as always.
Leaning heavily against a tree, he let out another sigh.
He had always thought that it was Akane who filled his heart, with no room for anyone else. True, there’d been many occasions when Ranma had donned one of his disguises and tried to make a play for him, hoping to embarass him in front of Akane. But he saw through Ranma sooner or later, and he always came back to Akane in the end, didn’t he?
An image of a young, cute green-haired girl entered his thoughts. He tried pushing it away, but it came back, insistent.
< If I am in love with Akane, why am I attracted to Yukina? Even Yukina’s a pretty name. I wonder if that’s her natural hair color, or what? Not that she wouldn’t look pretty otherwise. And that thing she does with her eyebrows..........wait. I’m getting off the subject. Where was I? Oh, right.>
He had always thought love meant staying with that person forever, never going astray even when someone with a potential cuteness factor comes along. With Akane, he had been batting zero. He HAD fallen for almost every girl with a potential cuteness factor. Why couldn’t he be faithful?
< Because you know she only likes you as a friend. You wish that she would return your affections, but she never does. the only thing about you that is an important part of her life is P-chan.>
He felt tears, hot and salty, gathering in his eyes.
< Am I really in love with Akane?> Ryouga asked himself.
He didn’t want to think. He was afraid of what his answer might be.
"Damn!" he cried, driving a fist into a tree trunk. "Forgive me, Akane!"
"Eeyeow!"
< Huh?>
Ryouga was suddenly thrown back towards the ground. Something had landed on top of him, and was using him as a mattress.
"Oh! I’m sorry! Thanks for breaking my fall!"
A pink-eyed girl, with blue-hair tied in a high ponytail, looked down at him, a sheepish look on her face. And in spite of what he had been thinking earlier on, the first thing that entered Ryouga’s mind was the fact that she was cute.
Awkwardly, she lifted and dusted off some dirt from her pink kimono. "Are you okay? I’m not too heavy, am I?"
"No. " Ryouga lied, wheezing slightly.
Giggling, the girl helped him stand.
"What were you doing up in that tree, anyway?"
"I was resting."
"Resting? In a tree?"
"I like trees." she defended herself. "By the way, my name’s Botan!"
"I’m ah, Ryouga."
"Who’s Akane?"
Ryouga froze, then began to blush. "Nobody."
"Nobody? Hey, isn’t that the girl who invited us to Nerima? What - " Botan broke off as a loud beeping noise filled the air. "Oh!" she began rummaging aroungin her kimono sleeves, finally pulling out a large briefcase. How she had managed to fit it in there, Ryouga had no idea.
"I have to go, Ryouga! Maybe next time?" Botan smiled at him.
"Um, sure."
"Bye!"
Shock number two came when Botan suddenly drew out an oar, hopped on it, and flew away.
Ryouga stared after her, then turned and began ramming his head against the tree trunk. As usual, the force of his blows sent the tree falling on top of him, causing the birds nesting there to get angry and start pecking at him, flapping their wings and screaming about stupid people trying to harm poor innocent birds like them.
For once, Ryouga didn’t care.
---------------------------------------------
Not far away, in the same garden, another guy was having an almost identical problem.
Kurama caressed a long blade of grass near him, but his thoughts were very far away, as mixed up as his emotions were.
He was suprised at how much had happened during the past few hours. Two of his male friends were now female, or at least, they were most of the time. Another, an aquaintance, had not only managed to turn himself into triplets, but he now believed Kurama to be a girl, which he most definitely was not. That didn’t stop him from being chased around.
He still couldn’t believe that Hiei now had a girl’s body. He didn’t want to think about her in any context, but she frequently entered his thoughts.
< That’s natural, right?> He tried to assure himself. < He’s your best friend, after all. If Hiei didn’t fall into the Juusenkyo Springs, you’d still be thinking of him.>
On the other hand, if Hiei didn’t fall into the spring, he wouldn’t be having these same thoughts about her that he was entertaining now.
He’d been sitting here for more than an hour now, and so far he wasn’t accomplishing anything. But as he slowly stood up and stretched, he did come to one conclusion: There was no way he was going to tell Hiei - or anyone else for that matter - what he was feeling. It was probably just the shock, or maybe even just a passing infatuation. He thought female Hiei was pretty, nothing more.
Maybe if he repeated it enough times to himself, he might even believe it.
He turned to go, but a soft rustling noise made him look back.
A girl, a year or so younger than him, with long magenta hair, was crawling on her hands and knees near a thick clump of bushes, obviously looking for something. Kurama frowned slightly. He hadn’t seen her among the people who offered to let them stay at the dojo. Better to be safe than sorry.
The girl edged forward, until she disappeared within the bushes, delving deeper. After a moment, Kurama began to follow her from behind.
---------------------------------------------
"Yo." Ranma said, as he caught up to Hiei.
Hiei regarded him with a wary expression. "Oh, it’s you." she said, and started walking a little faster.
A block of ice would have been warmer. Ranma realized that Hiei was gonna be tough to win over. "So, just want to um, say that you’ve got great fighting skills."
Silence.
"I mean, I was passing by and saw you beat up that crazy pervert, and not everyone could do that."
Silence.
"So," Ranma tried again, "Where did you learn how to do that stuff?"
"Go to hell." was what Hiei wanted to say. Inwardly, Hiei was beginning to steam. The guy was annoying her, and she hated being annoyed. But he was part owner of the place she was staying in, and Kurama had warned her at the Juusenkyo springs to be polite, his emerald eyes twinkling with laughter.
< Damn. Why the hell am I thinking of his eyes again?>
"Don’t remember. Look, I’m a little busy." Hiei said, hoping he’d take the hint.
"Oh." Ranma said, "Well, sorry to bother you. Maybe next time."
< There won’t be a next time.> Hiei thought, as she disappeared from view.
Ranma was satisfied, for the moment. At least she talked to him. That seemed like a big step. Next time, he’ll really lay on the charm, for sure.
He was too bust gloating to spot the young Chinese girl riding pass on a bike, nor did he see the two other girls in the garden nearby, who had suddenly stopped fighting with each other. They were all staring at the space Hiei had been standing on with open hatred and jealousy.
---------------------------------------------
"YUUUUSSSUUUUKKEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
Yuusuke and Genkai looked up, startled, as Botan landed on the ground, slightly breathless.
"Yuusuke, Genkai-san, it’s Koenma-sama!" She indicated the beeping suitcase she was holding.
"Koenma-sama?" Soun asked.
Botan immediately began to look guilty. "Oops. I didn’t mean to blurt it out....."
"Oh, that’s okay." Yuusuke assured her. "They may as well know, anyway." He lifted the suitcase, undid the clasps and lifted it open.
Soun gaped at the different sophisticated-looking consoles and gadgets within the case. But what really caught his eye was the monitor at the center of all those gizmos.
"Does that thing get cable?" he asked, as Yuusuke began fiddling with it.
Botan gave him a weird look.
After a few moments, the monitor crackled and came to life. Once the static was gone, everyone could see the short chubby boy seated at a chair four times his size. He was busily sucking on a pacifier. Mounds of paperwork were stacked all around him.
"About time you answered." he said, as Keiko, Yukina and Shizuru joined the group.
"Sorry about that, Koenma-sama." Genkai apologized.
"Koenma-sama?" Nabiki asked. "Why does that name sound familiar?"
Yuusuke grinned. "Maybe because he’s the son of Enma-Daioh, King of the Dead?"
Soun and Genma stared at the screen, stared at each other, fell on their faces and began to grovel.
"Dad! Mr. Saotome!" Nabiki protested.
Koenma stared at the two, comfusion eminent in his eyes. "Who are those humans?"
"Long story." Kuwabara sighed, as she sat down beside Yuusuke.
Koenma stared at Kuwabara. "Kuwabara? Is that you? Why the hell are you dressed up as a girl?"
"Because I AM a girl." Kuwabara snapped, looking insulted.
"We had a little accident......"Genkai began.
"Little?" Hiei scoffed, reappearing next to her.
Koenma’s normally chinky eyes grew round. "HIEI?!!"
"What?" Hiei gave him one of her best glares. "Where’s the hot water?" he snapped at Yuusuke.
Koenma began making some strangled noises. He hunched over on his huge desk, so that nobody could see his face.
"Oh dear." Kasumi said. "Is something wrong with him?"
Koenma looked up again, but his face wasn’t red from shock. He was laughing so hard he nearly fell off the chair.
"K-k-kuwabara and H-hiei.......girls!", he snorted, barely able to catch his breath. "I’ve wanted to see this for a long time! Ahahahahaha!"
Gloom and Doom gave him the evil eye.
Still chuckling, Koenma managed to right himself up. "Genkai, Yuusuke, you’d better give me all the details." he said, stifling another laugh. "I’ll see if I can go down to Ningenkai today. But right now, we have a serious problem."
Yuusuke narrowed his eyes. "We?"
"Well, it’s more like another mission for you." Koenma said smoothly. "Of course, I’m confident you’ll be able to do it."
He cleared his throat. "Reikai has been detecting some strange spiritual presences around where you’ve been staying. It’s pretty unusual, because they seem to be at close proximity with each other. There’s a chance that they might even be working together.” He paused. “And one of them is an S-class youkai He’s been going by the name of Akura, and he’s pretty vocal about his wanting to rule over Makai ang Ningenkai."
"S-class?" Yuusuke exclaimed, then gave an arrogant grin, "I’v e beaten S-class youkai before. This’d be a piece of cake."
Genkai frowned at him. "Don’t get so cocky, Yuusuke."
"What’s an S-class?" Akane asked.
"It’s a demon, from a lawless world called Makai," Genkai explained. "The youkai are categorized according to their level of ki. S-class is the highest level."
Koenma nodded soberly. "And what’s more, I have reason to believe that they might even be after the Dimensional Crystal."
Genkai looked grim. Everyone else, with a few exceptions, looked confused. Hiei looked as if he didn’t care what it was, and Soun and Genma were still groveling.
"Dimensional crystal?" Kuwabara asked.
"It’s the crystal responsible for shaping the universe today." Koenma explained. "The gods made it a long time ago, then hid it somewhere so that no one would be able to take it. It was said that whoever would possess that crystal would be able to take control of all the worlds; Reikai, Makai and Ningenkai. It could even be powerful enough to reopen Meikai again."
He touched a panel, and a computer screen popped up behind him. "From the data we’d manage to gather, the Dimensional Crystal is supposed to have been buried somewhere within Nerima. I can’t say anything further than that, since the Crystal itself is affecting Reikai sensors and neutralizing them as soon as they probe anywhere near it."
"It’s that powerful?" Akane asked, awed.
Nabiki narrowed here eyes. "Why did the gods make it in the first place, then?"
"I think it was sort of a backup plan. If there was something wrong with the universe they’d made, they‘d be able to correct it right away before it falls apart. Unfortunately, the gods are busy right now, and my father dropped the responsibility on my shoulders."
Genkai leaned back, thinking hard. "Well, if Reikai sensors can’t detect the Crystal’s exact location, then it’s alright to say that the youkai out there haven’t been able to, either. We’ll have to split up into teams and search every inch of Nerima, then."
"How will we be able to find it?" Keiko asked.
"Anyone capable of feeling the presence of ki would be able to find it, I guess." Koenma said, after a moment’s pause. "As I recall, that would only work for about a two mile range, though."
Yuusuke nodded. "That’s enough."
"We’ll help." Soun volunteered, finally removing his lips from the ground. Everyone looked at him. "We’re martial artists, and we too can detect ki. Besides, the Tendo Dojo is responsible for solving community problems that are happening in Nerima, and we’re very good at it."
Genkai looked back at Koenma for confirmation. Koenma thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Why not? We could use some help, I guess."
Yuusuke stood. "Hey, what does this S-class youkai look like anyway?"
Koenma blinked at him. "How should I know?"
Everyone hit the floor, hard.
"Whaddaya mean, you don’t know?" Kuwabara demanded, peeling his face off the wood.
"Well, all my scouts reported was that Akura always wore a hood around his face. No one’s been able to see what he really looks like yet."
"Well." Genma said importantly, standing up. "I suppose that the sooner we start, the better the chance we’d find it, right? I’ll go get Ranma and the others."
"Well," Genkai noted, turning to the others. "I think the best place to start would be in our own backyard."
"One more thing." Koenma said. "You can’t touch the Crystal. If you do, there’s not gonna be much of you left when you bring it back."
"What?! How are we supposed to take it when we can’t even hold it?" Yuusuke complained.
"Oh, I’m sure you’ll think of something.
--------------------------------------------
Kurama moved steathily, following the girl from a discreet distance. She was obviously looking for something, judging by the way she was moving about, stopping every few meters or so to feel above the ground with her probing hands. She was methodical, he had to give her that.
After a few minutes, she stopped, stood up and began swearing, her back to him. She knew a lot of colorful words.
Not sure yet of who she really was, Kurama moved until he was only a few feet away from her. "What are you doing here?" he asked calmly.
With a loud gasp, the girl spunned and stared at him with shocked magenta eyes. Then she did something Kurama hadn’t been expecting. With a crackling sound, small glowing spheres appeared on her hand, like little marbles. She threw them at Kurama.
Kurama nimbly stepped to the side, so that the spheres passed harmlessly by him. It hit the ground, spewing out a lavender-colored mist. A second later, there was a blinding flash of light, which was gone as quickly as it came. Summoning his rose whip, Kurama stood still, waiting for the sounds that would tell him where and when his enemy would attack. There wasn’t any, but he waited a few moments more.
Slowly, the mist cleared. The girl was nowhere to be found. Teleportation, he realized.
Kurama narrowed his eyes. The girl wasn’t going to fight. She seemed more afraid of him then wanting to fight with him. < Who was she? And what was she looking for?>
Unable to find the answer, he turned and headed once again to the Tendo Dojo. Genkai would probably want to know about this.
--------------------------------------------
Thunder rumbled in the distance.
Yukina looked up from the flowers she had been sniffing, startled. It had beeen sunny only a few minutes ago. And something began falling out of the sky. One landed sofly on her hand. She knew what it was even before looking at it. It had been the same object she had come to love and was a part of her nature, watching them fall from the sky everyday, back when she was still in her native homeland. But she was puzzled.
< Why is it snowing?>
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"Why is it snowing?" Kuwabara asked, as everyone turned to see the abundant snowflakes drift down onto the backyard.
"I don’t know." Nabiki looked suprised. "This isn’t the right season for snow."
"It could be because of the Crystal." Koenma suggested. "It’s capable of warping weather patterns around the world"
"Well, if that was the case, why didn’t it happen before?" Akane pointed out.
"Probably because", Koenma said soberly, "someone’s close to unearthing it. A lot close."
The dark clouds spread, blocking out the sun.
--------------------------------------------
And from its secret hiding place, the place where it had dwelled for close to a millenia, the Dimensional Crystal began to glow, a fiery red.