I can’t sleep, I just can’t breathe
when your shadow is all over me baby
don´t wanna be, a fool in your eyes
´cause what we had was built on lies
and when our love seems to fade away
listen to me hear what I say
Justin looked at his reflection in the mirror, gasping slightly at his appearance; the bags under his eyes from sleepless nights were covered with a thin layer of makeup, but the pain. The pain couldn’t be hidden from view. His view looked down, the Armani suit or expensive shoes couldn’t make up for the pain he was going through. They were just a mask trying to deceive the people he’d seen over and over again since the fight. But behind the mask was his corpse. Sure he was alive, but his heart and soul weren’t there anymore. She’d taken that with her when she’d left.
She wouldn’t have left if it had been for him. He knew since the day he’d asked Theresa to marry him, it’d been his fault she had left him to an eternity of misery and agony without her. Without Taylor there, there wasn’t anything inside. The smiles, grins and false enthusiasm were the security blanket that kept his engagement together, while; with each fake example of joy came even more pain and burden onto his heart. He has lying to himself and the world by going through with the lies. The lies. That’s what had gotten him there.
i don´t wanna feel
the way that i do
i just wanna be
right here with you
i don´t wanna see
see us apart
i just wanna say it straight from my heart
i miss you...
She’d told him; she couldn’t handle it anymore. She couldn’t handle the media, the rumors, the time apart. She told him, that even though she loved him with all her heart and would never find another man like him, another soul mate who could ever take his place, with each day he was gone, another part of her died. The suffering in her eyes was enough to break his heart. He didn’t want to hurt her, he knew that much. But it was hard for him to give her everything she wanted everything she needed in life while he was touring. But then, after that breakup, everything fell apart. The group took a break, but he didn’t have anywhere to go. Justin had found out she was dating someone else.
If anyone could have warned him of the pain of knowing the love of your life was with someone else; he would have fought until every inch of her was next to him every single night of his life. He would’ve gone through heaven and Earth to be with Taylor. She was the only kind of person who could complete him. No other woman was made to put up with his antics, teasing, touring, and leaving than her. But in the end, she’d taken everything she could have taken and broke. Fell apart like a dam who’d concrete had never been strong enough to support.
But he was the reason they had broken. All she had ever asked from him was love, and he couldn’t give her that much. Justin choked and ran his hands through his unruly curly hair, smiling. Remembering the time she’d cut his hair to a close curls. But those memories weren’t going to happen again. He staggered back and sat down on the stool putting his face between his hands and sniffling. She was gone.
what would it take, for you to see
to make you understand that i´ll
always believe
you and i, can make it through
and i still know, i can´t get over you
´cause when our love seems to fade away
listen to me hear what I say
He looked at the door, his head turning slightly, one eye on the door one on the engagement ring on his finger. He knew he had two options, stay there and wait longer letting his life be ruined by marrying a woman whom he didn’t love. Theresa, there was no doubt in his head that she would make a wonderful wife for any man, but she wasn’t what he needed. If he stayed sure there would be part of him that would like the life he had, with kids, a home bound mother and the fairy tale life, which he’d been drugged with, believing could be achieved with Theresa.
Or he could go the hard way.
Justin looked at the door, conspicuously. If he walked out that door right then, he could try and bring back the best thing in his life. Taylor. She completed him, she was his soul mate, and there was no cell in his mind that could think otherwise. He’d run on her name since the beginning thinking of the better days when they had both dreamed of that big house with miniature Justin’s running around making life a living hell by trying to hack off their own hair. Yes, he knew there would be problems on his road back to her heart. But nothing was impossible.
Fairy tale or Real life.
i don´t wanna feel
the way that I do
i just wanna be
right here with you
i don´t wanna see
see us apart
i just wanna say it straight from my heart
oh baby i miss you, i do...
He chewed on his cheek silently, eating away at the tender flesh there, the pain was now shadowed by numbness, and his mind had now taken a one-way track. It was up to him completely what he would do. Go with what his head said the more optional and fulfilling life. OR, the road where nothing was for sure, he wasn’t guaranteed anything but only had the simple hope of passion and prophecies to guide him.
The choices.
´cause when our love always
fades away
listen to me hear what I say
i don´t wanna feel
the way that i do
i just wanna be
right here with you
i don´t wanna see
see us apart
i just wanna say it straight from my heart
i miss you, i miss you
i do...
Justin peered through the small window looking at the beautiful flowers scattered around outside the church. The sun beamed onto the mass of light brown curls and he grunted, finally understanding what his road was. No one had ever assured him success as a musician or had ever pushed him to want to be a superstar; it had always been his own will to keep going even with the days were dark. There would’ve been no Justin Timberlake without his motivation.
Stepping back, he closed the window and nodded to himself. He remained and took one last look at himself on the banister mirror, nodding confidently. There was a spark again behind his cobalt blue eyes, the spark of hope and trial. He had to do what he had to do. Justin lunged for the doorknob turning it slowly, before taking one last look inside the room. He wasn’t meant to marry Theresa.
“I’m coming for you, Tay.” He murmured to himself, shutting the door.
i don´t wanna feel
the way that i do
i just wanna be
right here with you
i don´t wanna see
see us apart
i just wanna say it straight from my heart
oh baby i miss you, i do...
((I Miss You by Westlife))