I can’t believe this happened. I’m serious, I thought it couldn’t happen to me. Walking through the solemn house, I never comprehended how you were gone. The photos haunt me like a horrible nightmare rerunning itself in my head, I swear I know you feel what I go through, because sometimes I can feel you still here. The pictures of what we had, seem to be my only light, the sweet memories of our love making seem to be my only savior.
“How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh
Outweighed the bad.”
I hope you know there wouldn’t have been a me, if there had been a you. You made me who I am with your love and accepted me for not being perfect. I ask myself why you liked me sometimes, and still laugh at what you said. You said I was so diplomatic and understanding never let anyone tell me I wasn’t good enough. You always said you needed someone strong, I’m sorry I’m can’t hold myself up anymore. But living just seems to hurt too much; I’d rather be with you.
“I thought we’d get to see forever
But forever’s gone away
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.”
The light at the end of the tunnel just seems to be drifting away, the rock that was once beneath me is starting to crumble away. You held up the fort when I couldn’t hold up myself, thank you for understanding. I know you wouldn’t want to me to go now, but baby, I there isn’t anything more but yesterdays. Yesterday, I saw your Mom, she started crying as she cast her eyes on me, it seemed to me I was an infection causing pain to all those around me. She used to love me, yes I remember…but that was before you left.
“I don’t know where this road
Is going to lead.
All I know is where we’ve been
And what we’ve been through.”
Oh sweetie, it still hurts too much to be without you, I hope you know what I mean. These days just seem so longer without you being near. I swear I tried to live without you, and tried to just keep on fighting but these scratches in my heart just keep on bleeding and hurting more and more. You probably do see the pain I go through without you; I have no reason to keep on fighting if you aren’t here. There’s nothing to look forward to after these long hard days; I come home to nothingness and loneliness as my friend. No one looks at me the same way, only with pity in their eyes, whispering to their neighbors “Her husband died.”
“If we get to see tomorrow
I hope it’s all worth the wait.
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.”
It’s my time to go now, I know I can hear you waiting for me already, please don’ try to stop me, this is how it’s meant to be. If one of us goes both of us go, at least that’s what my heart says. Even though the officers said it was a freak accident, I’m positive it was meant to be, just like the man upstairs knew I’m going up already. So here’s the knife, can’t you see? The picture of you and me in my hand, it’s been too long since you’ve held me, but soon enough we’ll be together. These dreams of you and me, they will be fulfilled.
“And I’ll take with me these memories
To be my sunshine after the rain.
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.”
I’ll see you soon, JC, just you wait. I’m going up to meet you, and let it be just like yesterday.
“And I’ll take with me these memories,
To be my sunshine after the rain
.
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.”
Song Credit: It's So hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday by Boyz II Men