‘10-year-old going on 20’

Youth waits on tables — and adulthood

November 28, 2005

By JOANIE BAKER
Index-Journal staff writer

There have been many jaws dropping at T.W. Boons lately, and it’s not just because the food is good.
It’s because the 10-year-old barely able to peep over the counter is taking orders and waiting tables just as well as peers twice her age.
Sarah Ellen Wideman might have to stand on a folding chair to ring up orders and stretch a little farther than most to reach the sweet tea canister, but the 4-foot tall waitress handles a couple of tables with as much ease and charisma as if it were all pretend. But unlike other girls her age who pour tea to their teddy bears with a snuggle in return, Sarah Ellen receives tips from customers who say she’s the best waitress they’ve ever had.
Tony and Anna Wideman, owners of T.W. Boons and parents of Sarah Ellen, said they hadn’t really planned to let their daughter waitress at first.
“At first she just ran the register and when we were completely dead and someone would come in, we would let her wait on them,” Anna said. “It didn’t take us long to figure out she was more than capable of doing this. Most people absolutely love her. Some are kind of taken aback at first, but once they see she’s competent then they’re fine.”
But waitressing about three hours a day during the week only makes up a plate crumb of Sarah Ellen’s day. In addition to her homeschooling, Sarah Ellen takes piano lessons, rides her horse competitively and is an accomplished gymnast. She said she uses her tip money to help pay for the costs of gymnastics.
Anna, who teaches gymnastics at the YMCA, said Sarah Ellen has been going to work with her since she was a baby and taught herself how to do a back handspring at 4 years old. She said Sarah Ellen has always learned by mimicking and has been very grown up for her age.
“The biggest insult to her is when people talk to her as a child, she likes to be spoken to as an adult,” Anna said. “I tend to forget she’s 10 years old and then she does something absurd and I get so mad before I think, well, she’s only 10.”
Sarah Ellen said working in the restaurant is fun and challenging, but most of all she enjoys seeing her family there.
“Just getting to be with them instead of sitting behind a desk is pretty nice,” she said. “I can go eat breakfast with my grandparents if I want to.”
Anna said the many people worry about the socialization skills of homeschooled children, but she thinks Sarah Ellen receives more socializing and life lesson than most people.
“She has realized the harder she works and the better she does the more tips she will get,” Anna said. “She’s also seen people who come in and are lazy and do a bad job and she sees that when you do that, you lose your job which is something you learn as an adult. At school they are taught to socialize only with people their age, but how often in life are you in those situations?”
Sarah Ellen’s grandmother, Libby Bartley, works at the restaurant so that she can be with Sarah Ellen and keep an eye on her. She said most people are impressed with her, and that she has even drawn in her own fan club.
“She thoroughly enjoys every minute of it, so it’s not like she’s here without choice,” Bartley said. “I know it’s probably hard for some of the other waitresses to watch her get tips because she’s cute and they’re working for a living, but they see her do the full job. She’s not just playing around getting in the way.”
That is why Ralph and PJ Foster travel from Aiken about once a month to have Sarah Ellen wait on them. PJ said she was so enamored with Sarah Ellen the first time they stopped at the restaurant while passing through, that they now call ahead to make sure she’s working before coming in.
“You’re just amazed that this little thing can do all she can so well,” Foster said. “You’re just so taken aback and caught up watching her. She came over and talked with us and she was like a 10-year-old going on 20.”
Foster said as an amateur photographer, she knew right away that she needed to capture Sarah Ellen and document it. She said she thinks most people are just as stunned as she was the first time they see her.
“When she sticks that pad out of her pocket and starts writing, she’s just so businesslike, she was teaching her grandmother the ropes,” Foster said. “I’m sure there are some people who are pleased that this young girl is able to flourish in an environment like that guarded by her family, but I’m sure there’s the other side who don’t think she should be working. But her family is protecting her and showing her what life is and letting her experience it.”
Though some may question the legality of letting a 10-year-old wait tables, according to the South Carolina Department of Labor, Licensing and Regulation, generally, no employment is authorized for minors under the age 14, but there are exemptions from this restriction. And one of those exemptions is that at any age, minors may work in a business or establishment that is owned 100 per cent by the parents of the minor.
But according to Bartley, waiting tables isn’t really work to Sarah Ellen anyway.
“Sarah Ellen can give it back just as quick as she takes it,” Bartley said. “One day a man had a plate that was completely clean, not a crumb on it. When Sarah came to take it away, he said with a smile ‘That was just awful,’ and just as quick as she could she said ‘well in that case, we’ll charge you double.’”
All in a day’s play for Sarah Ellen.

Opinion

Observations ... and other reflections

November 28, 2005

The number of aggravated assaults and incidents of forcible sex in South Carolina schools declined by more than half in the past four years, according to a report from the Education Department. The violent crime rates in schools are part of a national downward trend, to the lowest levels in a decade.
That’s the good news. The bad news is that reports of drugs and weapons offenses went up sharply.
How, though, do we explain the widespread ultra violence by youngsters that has become a plague, all over the nation? Are they mimicking video games or violence from “music,” TV and elsewhere? Something is lighting a short fuse in more young people than ever. What? As long as those kinds of crimes are occurring, they overshadow any and all improvements.

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Gov. Mark Sanford is still working to restructure state government to make it more accountable to the people and save money. He has already had some success but more is needed. There’s one area, though, where he’s not likely to do anything but anger some of the powers that be. That’s because he wants to move most of the Budget and Control Board operations into a Department of Administration.
The Budget and Control Board, which has a staff working for it, is composed of the Governor, Chairmen of the Senate Finance and House Ways and Means Committees, the state Treasurer and state Comptroller General. As a group, it wields great power. In fact, you might say it’s the power behind the power in S. C. Prying that power loose would take an act of God. And that, in short, is a quick picture of politics in the Palmetto State.

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Fidel Castro, the Communist ruler of Cuba, accused the “new rich” Cubans of stealing from their country. Could it be simply that a little bit of free enterprise, by comparison, is showing communism for what it is ….. a failure? No wonder the 80-year-old dictator is critical of his own people.

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A recent survey showed that too many public officials and law enforcement officers in South Carolina violate the Freedom of Information Law. Some do it on purpose, while others don’t know the law.
Every public official, in law or anything else, should be given training on what the public has a right to know. It’s inexcusable for anyone not to know. Trust is the foundation of everything in this country. Ignoring or violating the law undermines it all.

Editorial expression in this feature represents our own views.
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Obituaries

Clyde Cooper

Clyde Thomas Cooper, 80, of 109 Morgan St., husband of Alice Mabrey Cooper, died Sunday, Nov. 27, 2005 at Self Regional Medical Center.
Services will be announced Blyth Funeral Home & Cremation Services.

Mary B. Darnell

WARE SHOALS — Mary Brunson Darnell, 96, formerly of 18 N. Riegel Ave., widow of Lewis Henry Darnell, died Sunday, Nov. 27, 2005 at National Health Care of Greenwood.
Born in Greenwood, she was a daughter of the late Allie Independent and Ammie Orene James Brunson. She was a member of Mount Olive Baptist Church, the Quarter Century Club and was retired from Riegel Textile Corp.
Survivors include two grandchildren and a great-grandchild.
Graveside services are 2 p.m. Tuesday at Mount Olive Baptist Church Cemetery, conducted by the Revs. Gerald Crawford and Brian Burgess.
Visitation is following the service.
Memorials may be made to Mount Olive Baptist Church, 149 Mount Olive Church Road, Ware Shoals, S.C. 29692.
Parker-White Funeral Home is in charge.

Buddy Dorn

George Albert “Buddy” Dorn, 81, of 105 Chestnut Court, widower of Doris Simpson Dorn, died Sunday, Nov. 27, 2005 at NHC Healthcare of Greenwood.
Services will be announced by Harley Funeral Home.

Magdalene ‘Nick’ Morgan

Magdalene ‘Nick’ Morgan, 84, of 108 Richard St., died Saturday, Nov. 26, 2005 at Self Regional Medical Center.
Born in McCormick County, she was a daughter of the late Matthew Morgan and Savannah Tolbert Morgan. She was of the Baptist faith.
Survivors include two sisters, Ethel Arnold and Betty Dye, both of Greenwood.
The family is at the home of her niece, Carrie Turner, 108 Richard St.
Services will be announced by Robinson and Son Mortuary Inc.

Dorothy Cochran Murdoch

ABBEVILLE, SC — Dorothy Cochran Murdoch, 97, of Abbeville died Sunday, November 27, 2005 at the Ellenburg Nursing Home in Anderson. She was born in Abbeville County to the late Lawrence Earl and Annie Cochran Murdoch. Ms. Murdoch was a retired nurse and a member of the First Creek Baptist Church. She was preceded in death by three brothers, Guy Murdoch, Maxie Murdoch and Dr. John Murdoch.
Surviving Ms. Murdoch is her brother, Earl C. Murdoch of Due West and several nieces and nephews. Graveside Services are 11:00AM Tuesday, November 29, 2005 in the First Creek Baptist Church Cemetery. The family will receive friends following the service.
In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to the Connie Maxwell Children’s Home, PO Box 1178, Greenwood, SC 29648, or to a charity of one’s choice.
Online condolences may be sent to the Murdoch family by visiting www.harrisfuneral.com HARRIS FUNERAL HOME, OF Abbeville is assisting the Murdoch family.
PAID OBITUARY

CORRECTION

For the obituary of Walter Henry Hill Jr. in Sunday’s edition, a survivor was omitted from the information provided to The Index-Journal. Survivors include a daughter, Zenda Leaks, of Columbia.