The other victims of domestic violence

Help is available for abused men — but are they willing to take it?

August 6, 2006

By MEGAN VARNER
Index-Journal senior staff writer

In a 2000 study, the U.S. Department of Justice estimated that more than 2.3 million adults experience domestic violence each year in America, victims of a crime that quietly rages each day within the walls of homes across the country.
And while some might quickly assume those victims are women, the Department of Justice study, available on the Battered Men Domestic Violence Web site, estimates that nearly 835,000 of those victims are men.
Though cases of men suffering emotional or physical abuse from their spouse or partner occur less frequently than cases with female victims, local law enforcement and victims advocates said help and services are available to every victim of the crime — regardless of gender.
“We don’t see (domestic violence against men) nearly as often as abuse directed toward women, but we do encounter it,” said Greenwood Police Chief Gerald Brooks. “We handle those cases the same as (female victim cases). The law applies equally to all people.”
The dynamics of domestic violence are the same for female and male victims, said MEG’s House Executive Director Alice Hodges, and victims can often feel fear, depression or shame as a result of their victimization. As with many crimes, Hodges said it is difficult to know the actual number of domestic violence victims of the crime because many victims — male and female — do not report the problem to authorities.
“The key is getting them to call us for help,” Hodges said. Though MEG’s House is a local emergency shelter for abused women and children, Hodges said the agency has provided shelter and helped with legal assistance for male victims.
Local victims advocates said men might be hesitant to report the crime to authorities because society’s traditional sex roles depict men as the stronger gender.
“They are socialized into believing that they can handle it on their own,” Hodges said. “The shame is compounded by not being able to control their wives. ... They face internal shame that their friends may see them as weak.”
Another factor that can keep men silent might be the fear that authorities would think the woman was the victim in the situation, but Lt. Tara Scott, with the Greenwood County Sheriff’s Office, said deputies are trained to absorb all details of a domestic violence scene to determine the true “primary aggressor.”
“They take everything into consideration,” Scott said, adding that factors such as drugs or alcohol usually play a role.
Deputies also look at a person’s demeanor and past criminal history for clues.
“Criminal domestic violence is rarely a one-time deal,” Scott said. “Deputies are usually able to easily see who is acting in an aggressive manner.”
Signs that a person might be a victim of domestic violence are similar for both men and women, said Mary Ann Stroup, victim assistance director with the Greenwood County Sheriff’s Office. A spouse or partner who is a “control freak” with a domineering control can be a red flag for friends or family that a loved one is being victimized, Stroup said, adding that victims often become secluded in their own home. She said children also can exhibit signs of stress in domestic violence situations involving their parents or guardians.
“It affects the children just as much as it does adults because they have to grow up in that environment,” she said. Since January, there have been 23 cases of domestic violence incidents where a man was identified as a victim, Stroup said. Of those reported cases, only a few men followsed through with the agency to receive assistance.
“Lots of times in domestic violence, they (the victims) report it ... but they end up not wanting to do anything about it,” she said. “Men typically don’t pursue assistance.”
For those cases that do come up in court, Stroup said the legal system does not favor one gender over the other, especially in domestic violence situations that create child custody battles.
“Family court judges rule just as fairly for men as they do women,” she said. Stroup said she isn’t sure why male victims often decline assistance, but she said the agency is always prepared to work with any victim who needs help. “We treat every case equally,” she said. “We can offer the same services to men that we offer to women. There are a lot of resources we can tap into.”
Victims assistance provides help in signing warrants and obtaining orders of protection for victims. Stroup said the agency doesn’t typically need to offer emergency shelter assistance to male victims — she said no one has ever requested that — but if a request were made, she said the agency would work with other statewide assistance groups to fulfill the need.
“We’ll think outside of the box to help in another way,” she said.

Poznick succeeds on clay

Ware Shoals coaching staff believes defense will help
take pressure off an offense that lost six starters

August 6, 2006

By CHRIS TRAINOR
Index-Journal Sports Writer

Who says you have to go to France to see a clay court tennis champion? The Lakelands area now has one of its own.
Jordan Poznick, who is set to be a sophomore at Greenwood High School, won the South Carolina Boys 16 Clay Court State Championship Tournament July 28 in Greenville.
The win is Poznick’s first clay court state championship. The player said he was confident about his chances heading into the event.
“Well, I went into the tournament as the top seed,” Poznick said. “Then, some of the other higher seeds lost, and I was confident about my chances against the ones that were left. The draw worked out really well for me.”
In terms of juniors tennis in South Carolina, there are three events that stand out as “majors.” They are the clay court championships, the hard court championships and the Belton Masters. Having won the hard court title in 2005 and the clay court crown this year, Poznick said he is heavily anticipating next year’s Belton Masters.
“Belton is the only one of the majors I haven’t gotten,” Poznick said. “I would have a feeling of completion if I could get that one next year.”
Poznick’s road to the clay court title was not without its bumps in the road. The Greenwood High player, who pounds whistling groundstrokes using an inverted forehand, strained a muscle in his abdomen just prior to his championship match with Alex Holland.
Despite the searing pain, Poznick outlasted Holland 6-4, 6-4. Poznick said the pain made the final showdown nearly unbearable.
“Alex knew I was in pain,” Poznick said. “After a couple of serves, I was holding my stomach. But, I fought through it.”
Poznick said he enjoyed his match with Holland, despite the pain and fierce competition. He said Holland has become a good friend over the years as the two have played the various events on the juniors circuit.
Despite winning many juniors tournaments over the years, Poznick said this one was particularly special.
“I believe I’m only the third or fourth person from Greenwood to win the clay court state,” Poznick said. “It feels good to win it, but it makes it better knowing that.”
Chris Trainor covers area sports for The Index-Journal. He can be reached at: ctrainor@indexjournal.com.

Opinion

When tolerance is lost can woes be far behind?

August 6, 2006

The people of South Carolina and their counterparts all over America have their work cut out for them.
That statement, to be sure, can cover a multitude of “whereases” and “wherefores.” Some might even say it covers a multitude of sins. Be that as it may, there is one particular area of social intercourse where a lot of cooperative work is needed to help redirect our attention, attitudes, abilities, accountability, and - this may be the most important - acrimony.
What’s happening in this country? That’s a serious question. Everywhere you look these days there’s a degree of contentiousness and mean spiritedness never before seen among Americans. You might expect it from extremists on the right and left, but not from everyone in-between.

THAT DOESN’T MEAN THERE haven’t been disagreements galore. As a matter of fact, good ol’ healthy debate is an integral part of what our freedoms are all about. No, it’s something else, something far more disruptive and debilitating. It’s like death ..... death of tolerance.
The primary catalyst for this negative state of affairs must be politics. What else can explain how we’ve quietly watched civility slip away without even a whimper. We spend so much time finding fault with somebody else we simply don’t realize what it’s doing to us, individually and collectively. It’s not only politics per se, although few things aren’t affected by politics in one way or another.

WE’RE CONTINUOUSLY AT ODDS over so many religious and social issues, among others, that it’s become a no-holds-barred battle royal that nobody can win. To the contrary, everybody loses.
It’s simple. When we turn tolerance into intolerance, and make it a way of life, which it seems we are doing by leaps and bounds, we have to ask ourselves where we are going. Wherever it is, it won’t be anywhere that basic freedom isn’t always in danger of becoming a victim of our intransigence.
What happens? St. Mark said it first and Abraham Lincoln repeated it: “A house divided against itself, that house cannot stand.”
That’s worth thinking about ..... that is, if that’s tolerable.

Obituaries

Alcott Russell Ashborn

McCORMICK — Alcott Russell Ashborn, 84, of 803 Augusta St. Ext., husband of Helen Fooshe Ashborn, died Saturday, Aug. 5, 2006 in Greenwood.
Born in Waterbury, Conn., he was a son of the late Addison Ray and Inez Wheeler Ashborn. He was a World War II Air Force veteran, retired from the aircraft manufacturing industry and was of the Episcopal faith. Living in McCormick for 20 years, he was a member of American Legion, Experimental Aircraft Association, Elks USA and Loyal Order of the Moose. He was also a member of and past master of Mine Lodge No. 117 and a Shriner.
Survivors include his wife; two sons, Robert Ashborn, of Castaic, Calif., and Scott Ashborn, of Bristol Conn.; two daughters, Amy Guglielmi, of Oakville, Conn., and Rae Zabit, of Goshen Conn.; two step daughters, Sharon Pipke, of Terryville, Conn., and Connie Rosengren, of Thomaston, Conn.; two sisters, Joan Johnson, of Prospect, Conn., and Nancy Travis, of Sun City West, Ariz.; seven grandchildren; four great-grandchildren.
Private family services are at a later date at Waterbury Cemetery, Waterbury, Conn.
The family is at the home.
Memorials may be made to HospiceCare of the Piedmont, 408 W. Alexander Ave., Greenwood SC 29646.
Strom Funeral Home is in charge.

Nickey Boozer

CHAPPELLS — Nicholas Eugene “Nickey” Boozer, 66, of 855 Highway 702, husband of Shelby Balchin Boozer, died Friday, August 4, 2006 at Hospice House of Greenwood.
The family is at the home.
Services will be announced by Blyth Funeral Home & Cremation Services.

Bobbie Kirkland

Bobbie Kirkland, 53, of 624 Chiquapin Road, died Saturday, August 5, 2006 at Self Regional Medical Center.
The family is at the home of her sister, Janet Boyd, 1112 Rock House Road.
Services will be announced by Harley Funeral Home & Crematory.
Online condolences may be sent to the family at www.harleyfuneralhome.com.

Macie Lollis

WARE SHOALS — Macie Medlock Lollis, 83, of 4 W. Fleming St., widow of Richard B. Lollis, died Friday, Aug. 4, 2006 at her home.
Born in Ware Shoals, she was a daughter of the late Fletcher C. and Annie Smith Medlock. She was retired from Riegel Textile, was a member of the Quarter Century Club and an active member of Ware Shoals First Baptist Church where she taught Sunday school for 56 years. She was a former director of WMU, Silver Lining Choir, Prison Ministry, and Home Bound Ministry.
Survivors include two daughters, Janice McDonald of the home and Linda Simpson of Ware Shoals; a brother, Calvin “Rusty” Medlock of McKinney, Texas; 3 grandchildren; 2 great-granddaughters.
Services are 3 p.m. Monday at First Baptist Church, conducted by the Rev. Leon Jones. Burial is in Greenwood Memorial Gardens.
Pallbearers are Dan Branyon, Joe Skinner, Mark Strickland, John Simpson, Harold Kay, Clark Roach and Lyman Golden.
Honorary escorts are T.E.L. Sunday school class, Don Boling, James Gordon, Kay Robinson, Boyce Lancaster, David Hodges, Danny Riddle, Lamar Cain, Howard Branyon, Bob Drake.
Visitation is 1-2:30 p.m. Monday at Parker-White Funeral Home.
The family is at the home.
Memorials may be made to Ware Shoals First Baptist Church, P.O. Box 449, Ware Shoals, SC 29692.
Parker-White Funeral Home is in charge.

Martha Mattison

HONEA PATH — Martha Boland Mattison, 85, formerly of 821 E. Greer St., Honea Path, SC, widow of Wilmer Babb “Bill” Mattison died August 5, 2006 at Wesley Commons Nursing Home.
She was born on January 21, 1921 in Laurens County, a daughter of the late Eugene Boyce and Lula Anderson Boland. She was a member of First Baptist Church of Honea Path.
Surviving are two sons, Steven E. Mattison of Columbia and his wife, Jeanette, and W. Michael Mattison of Charlotte, NC; two sisters, Julia Babb of Ware Shoals and Doris Culbertson of Greenwood; and two grandchildren, Jessica and Phillip Mattison.
Visitation will be at Pruitt Funeral Home in Honea Path, SC on Tuesday, August 8 at 10 AM with funeral services following at the Oakbrook Memorial Park Chapel in Hodges at 11 AM. Burial to follow in Oakbrook Cemetery.
Martha Mattison lived a full life, always giving more than she received. She loved her family and took great pride in them.
Parker-White Funeral Home.
PAID OBITUARY

Ruby Minor

Ruby Earline Minor, 95 of 217 B Merriman Ave., died Saturday, Aug. 5, 2006 at Hospice House.
Services will be announced by Harley Funeral Home & Crematory.
Online condolences may be sent to the family at www.harleyfuneralhome.com.

Robert Warren

EDGEFIELD — Robert Warren, 59, of 311 Moores Drive, died Thursday, Aug. 3, 2006.
Born in Edgefield County, he a son of the late Chris and Trula Whatley Warren. He was a member of Liberty Spring Baptist Church and a retired chain saw operator.
Survivors include three brothers; Chris Warren Jr. and William Warren, both of Edgefield, Sammie Lee Warren of Aiken; five sisters, Mary L. Warren, Janie Stevens, and Claudeen Warren, all of Edgefield, Elizabeth Warren of Trenton, Josie Lee Warren of Greenwood.
Services are 1 p.m. Tuesday at Liberty Spring Baptist Church, conducted by pastor, the Rev. Henry Merriweather, assisted by Minister Jimmy Gilchrist. The body will be placed in the church at noon. Burial is in the church cemetery. Pallbearers are family and friends; flower bearers are nieces.
Viewing is 1:30 p.m. Monday at Butler & Sons Funeral Home, Saluda.
The family is at the home.
Butler & Sons Funeral Home is in charge.

Ella Mathis Williams

Ella Mathis Williams, 88, of NHC Healthcare Center, widow of J.C. Williams, died Saturday, Aug. 5, 2006 at NHC Healthcare Center.
Born in Greenwood, she was a daughter of the late Wiley Mathis and Lula Harris Mathis. She was a member of Pine Grove A.M.E. Church, Callison.
Survivors include a son, Willie Earl Williams of Forest City, N.C.; three daughters, Josephine Patterson, Annie Campbell and Ella Mae Williams, all of Greenwood; two sisters, Mary Reid of Edgefield and Elizabeth Thomas of Greenwood; 23 grandchildren; 21 great-grandchildren; four great-great-grandchildren.
The family is at the home of a daughter, Joesphine Patterson, 229 Manning Road. Percival-Tompkins Funeral Home is in charge.
Online condolences may be sent to the family at pertompfh1@earthlink.net.