**THE REAL LESSONS I'VE LEARNED IN LIFE**

I'VE LEARNED that you cannot make someone love you. All you can 
do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. 

I'VE LEARNED that waiting till the last minute to study for 
finals... really is STUPID 
 

I'VE LEARNED that no matter how much I care, some people are just 
real assholes...


I'VE LEARNED that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they 
are more fucked up than you think. 

I'VE LEARNED that it takes years to build up trust, and only 
suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I'VE LEARNED that we are responsible for what we do, unless we 
are celebrities.

I'VE LEARNED that you can keep puking long after you think you're 
finished.

I'VE LEARNED that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship 
is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of 
money to take its place. 

I'VE LEARNED that we don't have to ditch bad friends, because in 
the long run their dysfunction makes us feel better about 
ourselves.

I'VE LEARNED that sometimes the people you expect to kick you 
when you're down will be the ones who do.

I'VE LEARNED that no matter how parents try to protect their 
children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the 
local paper. 

I'VE LEARNED that the people you care most about in life are 
taken from you too soon and all the less important annoying ones 
just never go away. 

I'VE LEARNED to say, "F*ck'em if they can't take a joke" (THAT'S 
RIGHT!) in 6 languages.