Things To Do To Your Roommate!

Keep your room real messy for a few weeks. Clean it while your roommate isout. Leave before they come back. Arrive after them and then angrily accusethem of cleaning up your room.  


Take all of the hair out of their brush and stick it to the wall with scotch tape.


Insist on cleaning their fingernails for them every night. 


Crumple empty chip bags the whole time your roommate is home. 


Make a shrine dedicated to them. 


Whistle one note of a song and repeat it for 3 days, then pick a new note. 


Play Scottish music 24 hours a day full blast. 


Every night at midnight, stick your head out the window and scream "GO AWAY MONSTERS! GO AWAY!" Do this every night for 6 weeks. 


Sniff their underwear while they're still wearing it. 


Buy fish and a fish tank. Dye the water with food coloring. Talk to the fish and giggle often while staring at your roommate. 


Tie all your socks up in knots. Hang them from the ceiling. Count them every time you walk in the room. 


Every time your roommate walks in the room, shake their hand and smile sweetly. If they refuse, wipe the smile off your face, clench your teeth and growl whenever they walk in the room for the next two weeks. 


Watch test patterns. 


Collect bottles of colored water on the floor. Refuse to discuss them. 


Buy lots of slinkys and hang them from your ceiling while humming "It's Slinky, it's Slinky..." 


Buy lots of pictures. Hang them up upside down. Stand on your head to look at them. 


Tack candy wrappers on your walls. 


Buy Barney dolls, tapes and posters. Carry the doll around singing "I love you...You love me..." and paint your face purple. 


When your roommate throws something out, grab it from the garbage exclaiming "I can't believe you're throwing this away! I've been wanting one of these for so long!" and toss it in a large card board box. Do this for a month or until the box is full. Then dump it on your roommates bed saying its their garbage anyway. 


Talk to "invisible friends" about your roommate. When they look over, look away quickly and smile. 


Stare at your roommate dreamily while slightly smiling...all the time. 


Refer to them as if they are a crowd of people.  Use phrases such as "Could all you guys keep it down?" when your roommate is the only one in the room with you and it is silent.


Demand to be taken to your roommates leader.


Throw eggs at them.


Get a large box of lego bricks, and constantly dig through it looking for a 'certain piece".  Swear often and throw the plastic men around.  Interrogate the little men and accuse your roommate of conspiring with the enemy.


Throw socks around the room.  Name them.  Move them around.  When asked to clean them up, explain that they are free range socks and need to be allowedto becoming naturally fluffy and that you're just doing your part for the environment.  Then ask what they have done lately.


Get a cell phone.  Phone them constantly. When they say hello, stay quiet, then say hello, and then act like they are the one who keeps phoning you all the time.


Act surprised every time they enter and say "oh, I wasn't expecting you until later."  When asked to explain, just say "oh nothing. Nevermind."  Then pick up the phone, and say "the gig is up".  Slam down phone.  Pretend nothing happened.


Respond to everything they say with a question.


See how much self groping you can do before they say something.


See how nude you can get before they object.


Start collecting AOL cds as if they were rare items.  Create display cases.