WOMEN/MEN TRANSLATIONS: 



Women's English : 

Yes = No 

No = Yes 

Maybe = No 

I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry. 

We need = I want 

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by 
now. 

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. 

We need to talk = I need to complain 

Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to. 

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset 

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. 

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think 
about? 

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. 

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. 

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and 
wallpaper..... 

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! 

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. 

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. 

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really 
not going to like. 

I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good 
game on TV. 

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful. 

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me. 

Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead. 

Was that the baby/dog? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk 
him until he goes to sleep. 

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is 
important. 

The same old thing = Nothing 

Nothing = Everything 

Everything = My PMS is acting up 

******************************************

Men's English: 

"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry. 

"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy. 

"I'm tired." = I'm tired. 

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex 
with you. 

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex 
with you. 

"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with 
you. 

"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with 
you. 

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage! 

"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle 
you. 

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal 
out of this. 

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological 
trauma are you going through now? 

"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question. 

"I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex? 

"I love you." = Let's have sex now. 

"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now! 

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better 
before. 

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't 
look that much different! 

"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a 
deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me. 

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have 
sex with other guys. 

(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' 
dress and let's go home!