Like a sword without its handle, Dragonbait was now without a kingdom or village to call his own. Trying to help his self-image, Dragonbait proclaimed himself King Dragonbait. With no one to hear the proclamation, Dragonbait only felt worse. However, he was still a king and he had to gather a court of knights.
Dragonbait was walking through the Woods of Opportunity one day when he saw a tall, thick-necked man dressed in green leaning on a long-handled ax. “Good day, yeoman,” Dragonbait said, “How goes uh…yeoing?” “I don’t yeo, I chop trees,” replied the thick-necked man. “Well if you don’t yeo, then why do you call yourself a yeoman?” queried King Dragonbait. “I didn’t call myself a yeoman,” the man responded, “You did.” Getting a little annoyed, Dragonbait said, “Well you’re dressed like a bloody yeoman. What do you expect me to call you?” “Stumpneck.” said the tall, green man. “What did you just call me?” screamed Dragonbait. “I’ll have you know I am a king!” “No, that’s my name. Stumpneck.” “Oh, I see now,” said Dragonbait. “Well, Stumpneck, I am King Dragonbait and I am starting a kingdom. I seek the finest men in the land. Do you choose to prove your worth?” “Wait, let me get this straight,” replied Stumpneck, “You’re a king without a kingdom?” “Well, yes for the time being. But that’s not the point, for you see-” “But that’s preposterous! How can you be a king without any subjects or knights or even krillage? What did you do, just proclaim yourself king?” Starting to sweat, King Dragonbait replied, “Of course not, but forget about that, for now’s the time to-” “It just doesn’t make sense man. The feudal system is based on a hierarchy with its top being the king and the lower levels being his knights and serfs. Without the lower levels, it’s just one level. Don’t you get it?” “Ok, ok, ok. Forget about it,” shrieked Dragonbait, “Do you want to prove your worth to my kingdom or not?” “Fine, fine. Allow me to make a challenge unto you to prove my strength. You see I acquired my name because of my great neck strength. To exhibit its strength, I will give you one free shot at my neck with this here ax. However, afterwards, I get a swing of the ax at your neck as well.” “Very well Stumpneck. I accept your challenge.”
So, Stumpneck handed the heavy ax over to King Dragonbait. Dragonbait took some test swings to get used to its feel. When Dragonbait was ready, Stumpneck bent over exposing the back of his bare neck. After taking a few deep breaths, Dragonbait swung the colossal ax at Stumpneck’s stump-like neck knocking his head off his shoulders. Blood splattered every this way and that from the lifeless body on the ground. Dragonbait’s victory and new ax brought his self-esteem level to a new high. After a few girlish kicks to make sure Stumpneck was dead, King Dragonbait’s quest continued.