The Lonely Crowd

 

There is a sense of jadedness and discontent invading the playing of EverQuest, after two years of time and thousands of hours played.  Part of this malaise may be the game mechanics, but part of it may be that finally, after all this time, players find that virtual friendships and guilds don't satisfy that basic human need to be liked for what we are and who we are, with all our warts and flaws and human beauty.  Humans crave attention;  they spend time seeking it out.  We form our concepts of ourselves to a large extent through the reactions of others to us.  People seek attention in various ways, including drawing negative attention to themselves by breaking the rules, thus becoming infamous.  Others get attention by being a good person, or being helpful, or succeeding in reaching lofty goals.  We are a pack animal--we like to be with others.  That can clearly be seen in the number of guilds in EverQuest, as well as the prolific number of chat boards and news sites devoted to the game.

 

Yet for all the attention seeking that goes on, there is a curious lack of depth in social interactions amongst players.  For all the talk about role playing, there seems to be very little of it; players like to present themselves as they are as people behind the keyboard, for the most part.  Yet rarely do the friendships and collaborations in the game go beyond the cartoon characters to the real people that exist behind the screen, that crave attention for who they really are.

 

Is EverQuest our version of the Holodeck in the Star Trek universe?  It's the closest thing we can have to a total immersion in another environment, where we can do things and adventure like most people can never do in the time they spend away from the computer keyboard.  Yet in the imagination of the Holodeck, the people who enter them are still themselves--Worf or Tuvoc, themselves made up creatures, to further the paradox of this example--stay themselves in the scenario they imagine.  In our version of the Holodeck, called Everquest, we are transformed into cartoons that in most cases look nothing like our true selves.  We suspend our realities for those hours spent in Norrath, inhabiting a dual world, one sitting as our frail human selves at the keyboard, the other as our beautiful and powerful characters.  We are not "ourselves" in this universe, this alternate reality, as some people would like to term it.  I suggest that EverQuest is not really and alternate reality at all, however, in the most pure sense of a world being divorced from our own.  We come to this world with all of our personal baggage, our cultural expectations, our personalities, and each person has a unique worldview that colors their gameplaying.  As players, we acknowledge these differences--there wouldn't be as many guilds as there are without the recognition of personal differences--but then we draw the line and form friendships that rarely scratch the surface of who we are as individuals, how we live in the world we inhabit as physical creatures with histories and emotions.

 

We all come together in groups, and guilds, yet our interactions are superficial for the most part.  The activities in EQ are task-driven, with personal goals dependent on the assistance of others.  Despite the fact that players communicate to one another constantly during game play, we rarely get to deeply know those who surround us.  Many people have seen pictures of their guildmates, but that still does not satisfy what every human being needs in this world, which is actual face to face human interaction.  We are highly evolved beings, with complex limbic brains that allow us to interpret the most subtle facial expressions.  Human beings need to be touched.  They need to be considered in their entirety, as three-dimensional beings.  EverQuest play satisfies none of these needs, and perhaps is contradictory to some of them.  Players can hide behind a cartoon character, never revealing what is happening to them on the other side of the computer screen.  All most of us ever know is that someone doesn't show up for a while, or cuts down on their play time.  It might be that the person just got busy, or maybe they got sick, or maybe they lost their job and could not afford to play anymore. 

 

I think that some people really do strengthen their friendships to the point where they can see their fellow player characters as real human beings, and talk with them as real friends do about their concerns and triumphs in life.  But I don't believe this is the normal state of things.  I think this is the exception.

 

Surprisingly, we bring our personalities to the game, and they become very apparent early on.  Generosity, selfishness, intelligence, sense of humor, caring, organized--all those character traits of individuals become apparent over time.  It isn't possible to play and not reveal fundamental things about yourself.  But how someone expresses themselves in writing, behind the face of a fantasy creature, cannot possibly reveal what a person is like in all their glory as a human being.

 

But do we really get to know each other in more complex ways in real life?  Going to school, or work, we may know someone by their job description, and seeing them in the lunchroom, or walking down the hall.  We can get to know them to some degree through our interactions with them in the work or school environment, which may lead to dislike or the notion that we would like to get to know that person better.  I would suggest that in EQ the ability to form more intimate human interactions is stunted by the medium of text, and that we can never truly get to know someone if the interaction stays strictly on a textual basis.  EQ is also a group activity where we depend on those around us to achieve our goals.  The nature of the activity assumes that we will get to know who is smart, brave, fast, slow.  It takes human relationships in a group situation to a new level that is perhaps not equaled in venues other than those that involve physical danger, such as law enforcement or the military.  We are forced to work together to achieve the highest levels of success in the game.  This means that we must form character judgements about people to know if we can trust them in a group situation.

 

Given the context, and the amount of effort that people put into the game and leveling their characters, it would stand to reason that the lack of human interaction on a more complex level would become an issue after two years had passed.   The lack of attention to the issues that shape us as people, in life, becomes a burden to carry as players continue to interact in a fantasy character persona on the game.  It is easy to forget that the person behind the keyboard has personal problems, is dealing with a family, or lack of one, or a job, or problems with illness or finances.  We don't talk about these things.  Sometimes the lack of real life context can be a relief in the game, but if one looks at the social interactions that shape the world of EverQuest, the trend is clearly for more personalized sharing of player selves.  I refer here to in-game marriages, social events, guild chat rooms and rules, and even cybersex.  Cybersex is an interesting manifestation of the need for human companionship on the level of real human interaction away from the keyboard.  Humans need to be touched, to be loved, to have attention.  Cybersex, despite its rawness and superficiality, can be thought of as a way to be touched, even in a virtual sense.  Sex is the ultimate in human intimacy.  In the virtual world, it is also a form of human intimacy--we interact with another individual in a personal way, for just a few minutes.  We get and give individualized attention to another person's needs and desires.  On a perhaps more romantic level, in-game marriages are a way to reach out to another human being as well, and create a closeness that does not often occur in the day-to-day interactions in EQ play.  Guilds are another example, binding people together and giving them the attention they crave in a more intimate setting.

 

Yet in the end, even all these things do not satisfy the need for human affection, caring, and attention to the real person behind the keyboard.  And that lack of personal validation may be one of the reasons that people become burned out on the superficial game play that occurs as time goes by in EQ.