JENNIFER FLEMING

My name is Jennifer. I have a wonderful husband and son. My first pregnancy was a joy. I loved being pregnant with my son. He was born in August 1998. We were so excited to be adding to the family with another child. I was due in August 2000.

That all ended on February 26, 2000. I will never forget that day. I had been to the doctor a month before at 10 weeks, and we had heard the baby’s heartbeat. I remember the doctor reassuring us that the odds of losing the baby after that were very small. I nervously went to my next monthly check up. I was 15.5 weeks along. I had no problems during the pregnancy that would have led me to believe that there was anything wrong. I just had a bad feeling. Sure enough, my worse fears were realized when the nurse practitioner could not find the heart beat with the Doppler device. What took seconds, seemed to me an eternity. She sent me nervously down the hall to the sonogram equipment. That is the worse feeling I have ever had. I just knew that the baby was gone. I kept hoping for a mistake. The nurse practitioner nervously put that sonogram equipment against my stomach. She moved it around and finally I could see my baby. I saw immediately that there was no heartbeat or movement. My heart sank and the tears came. The nurse practitioner said to not jump to conclusions until they could examine me at the hospital with better equipment. I told her not to spare my feelings, and that I knew that the baby was gone. I called my mom and my husband from the office to tell them the terrible news and that I needed to go to the hospital to have a sonogram with better equipment. The tears took over and I could barely get the words out. I drove home in a state of shock.

My husband drove me to the hospital. It took a few hours to get a sonogram to confirm the bad news. I told the sonographer, that we knew the baby was gone, but that the doctor had sent me here for further analysis. I was still hoping deep inside there would be a miracle when she looked at the monitor and that the better equipment would pick up something different. She confirmed that the baby had died. She kept looking at the screen for what seemed like forever. Finally she went and got the doctor to look at the screen. I knew that there must have been something more on the screen than what they were telling me. I heard them mention the word molar. I knew immediately what that meant. I looked over at my husband and told him that it meant that this pregnancy could become cancerous and that we will have to wait possibly up to a year to try to have another baby. The doctor came to the hospital that night to do the D&C. We went home afterwards in shock. What had started as an uneventful day, had ended in a nightmarish way. All I wanted to do is get into bed and never wake up.

My HCG levels fell to negative nine weeks later. It seemed to take forever. They fell from 144,000…4900…600…160…50…30…15…10…10…finally to 4 on 05/01/00. Yeah, I did not have to have the chemo…yet. I am currently taking monthly tests for six months. The wait is excruciating. I am definitely learning a lesson in patience.

This has been the most tragic ordeal that I have ever gone through. I will be glad when it is part of my past and only a distant memory. I hope that some day I will be able to help someone else as a result of this experience.