Today there is joy in my heart. Why? I thought you'd never ask.
Today the continental United States saw a little Cuban boy fly home with his father, his step mother, and step sibling.
The world as a whole saw a close to this otherwise boring, tedious, incredibly stupid battle involving a little boy that no-one could really give a turd about.
Speaking of turds, I find that I must turn to Elian Gonzales's relatives. Let's deal with his female cousin - you know, the one who could really use a good breast job and some plastic ass surgery? (By the way, don't bother e-mailing me their names because I really don't give a turd). His cousin is a great person if you like incest-porn (see the classic film "Taboo" with Kay Parker in that case). First off, she was his self-proclaimed surrogate mother. When the cameras turned on she was all over him, shoving her tongue all up and down him, crying tears of joy as she tried to lick him all over. Frankly, it was just disgusting.
It was disgusting because every time the cameras turned on, the incest show turned on. Every time the cameras turned off, it was more or less "why am I not on camera getting some exposure and fame?" Maybe this freak really did love Elian. But it seems she could love him only on camera (again, see the film "Taboo" - Dorothy Le May, mmmm ...).
Everywhere Elian went, the clan was sure to follow. Of course, the clan ensured that the cameras were there, constantly rolling, constantly watching an aspiring actress portray her oh so erotic love for Elian (did I mention you ought to see "Taboo"?)
Let's turn to the drunken (so-called) great-uncle. When INS stormed the house, they did so armed. Why? Because it was believed (and known for that matter) that good ol' drunkie was armed. Drunkie even told the press that he would greet the Federal Government with armed resistance. Why then didn't he fire when they stormed the house to take his oh-so loved great nephew? He was apparently so drunk he couldn't find his gun. Truly an inspiring family, truly a family a little child should grow up with. Especially when the family stashes you in the closet with a fisherman and a preacher (is there a joke in here?) Let's not even go into the extensive criminal records and felony convictions of the rest of the cousins. Let me just conclude about these relatives by saying that they offered Elian no haven. They offered him an extensive education in criminal law. Unfortunately, the education was from the wrong end.
Now let's turn to that ass-wipe mayor of Miami. Can you believe he told his fellow Cuban citizens that they ought to revolt and greet the Federal Government's actions with civil unrest. Pardon me? Isn't this clown a government official? Is he seriously telling the electorate that they ought to dispose of the Rule of Law simply because they have been perverted into believing that Elian is some type of messiah? This clown should be shot in the streets for treason (and subsequently urinated on, repeatedly and frequently).
The Rule of Law requires citizens to rebel when a government is truly and inherently unjust. Here, the Federal Government wanted to reunite a boy with his loving, NATURAL AND LIVING father. That makes the government inherently unjust? That justifies civil disobedience? Lesson learned - never vote a dumb-ass into office.
Let's just leave it at this - thank God this moronic episode is over. I'll never understand America's infatuation with the lives of idiots. Take JFK Jr. for example. What did he do in life? Not much. He was the son of a famous dead president. Yet, he was plastered all over the news, the Coast Guard and the Navy went looking for him when his plane went down, he's all over the tabloids, etc., etc. Why? Because Americans have too much time on their hands. This is why they can care about bullshit issues like "Who did JFK Jr. eat as his last meal?" as opposed to some perhaps more relevant issues like "What can we do to stop our children from purchasing automatic weapons, going into a school, and going on a bloody killing spree?"
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