We live in a multicultural society here in Canada. We get all types. And so, we get all stereotypes too.
No doubt, many of us are guilty of making the stereotype that Chinese people simply cannot drive. Whether our stereotype is based on stupid jokes about their eyes, their cell phones or whatever, many of us are often guilty of such stereotyping.
Yours truly, however, seeks to take it one step further. It's not that Chinese people can't drive. It's that ALL OF YOU BASTARDS out there can't drive! Whether it's Toronto, Ottawa, or God-forbid, anywhere in Quebec, Canadians lack some very basic intelligence in the area of automotive operation. So, for your enlightenment, here is some basic driver's education that you seemed to have missed.
1. When a lane is coming to an end, it is not effective to rush to the end of a lane at 140 km/h only to come to a dead stop and then wonder why no-one is letting you in. If I am beside you, bet your bottom dollar that I will continually inch along and block you out of the lane and onto the shoulder as long as I can. Why? Because you idiot, you had three kilometres worth of warning that the lane was coming to an end and you did nothing about it until the last minute! Why the hell would you expect any sympathy from me?
2. If it is 6:30 am and you are driving to work down Highway 400, there is no need to drive at 140 kms / hr. Most people are doing 120 kms / hr and that's fine. However, we seem to inevitably get a crowd of people that feel obligated to get to the office as fast as humanly possible. Why? Where is the fire? Do you love your job that much that you must drive at inane speeds to get there first thing in the morning? Is it that important to you to shave 32 seconds off your arrival time? Most people are in a hurry to get home, not the other way around jackass!
3. The laws of physics are immutable. A basic law of physics is that one solid body is incapable of passing through another solid body, unless of course it is my fist through your stupid face. Tail-gating me does not inspire me to drive faster. It inspires me to slow down. If you don't like the speed I'm driving at, get into the passing lane. That is why it is called the passing lane, jackass?! -- so you can pass (in case I had to spell it out for some of you idiots). And by the way, it makes no sense to tail-gate me in the passing lane when I am already doing 140 kms / hr, and then when I change lanes, you pass me and come into the same lane as me. What did you accomplish? Nothing. Why did you do it? Because you are just another ignorant jackass.
4. Finally, let's deal with the "rubber-neckers". These are the ignorant assholes that have to slow from 120 kms / hr to 4 kms / hr to watch a policeman give some poor shit a ticket, to get a good look at the dead bodies from an accident, or simply to stare at a radar trap. Have you morons never seen a police car before? Have you never seen an accident before? Take a freaking picture, it lasts longer! If you're staring at an accident, why don't you just pull over and help? I'll tell you why. It is because you are a sellfish shit and you enjoy sponging off the human misery of others. If that weren't the case, you would continue to drive like a normal human being and let the cops and ambulances do their job without feeling like they are some sort of side-show freaks. As for watching people get tickets, if that's your idea of entertainment, then why don't you just stay home and choke your chicken instead? It's just about as exciting.
In conclusion, the next time you are about to make a stereotype about someone and their driving, why don't you stop to consider that maybe it's not because of their race; maybe it is because they live in a city of shitty drivers. Maybe, just maybe, you are one of those incredibly shitty drivers that inspires them to drive as they do. Don't worry, if I ever see any of you crappy drivers walking along the sidewalk, I will do my best to jump the curb and run you over. Here's hoping you have a nice fatal accident with an 18-wheeler truck some day. Have a nice day, jackass.
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