So, let's continue shall we...

[Return to Menu]
PART ELEVEN: STILL FIXING THINGS...

During the first two weeks of December we got our song - Shania Twain's "You're the One". Wanda even dreamt about Shania singing at our wedding! We continued to chat a lot, and tried to determine a way in to the future! I remember chatting about her paying her father back for her college education debts, which at 23 she still had! This was a reason why she did not have that much money, which was one reason for it being difficult for her to come to SA. She also claimed she lied ONLY about material things, like finances (that she had more money than she really had), the plane tickets, etc, but she claimed that her feelings for me were real. We also spoke about her moving to SA, and for example, on 01 December 1998, she claimed that she was in fact already packing up things around the house!

What was really amusing, is that on 08 December 1998 Udolf gained access to Wanda's VP account. She claimed he hacked it. But nevertheless, he came into VP as "woblue" and attempted to talk to me as Woblue. Of course he did not know that her real name was Wanda, and he soon gave him self away! Such are the intrigues of VP! I THINK that he was unhappy that I was still with Wanda, and that he was not able to get her back for himself! Just speculation of course, but a good theory I believe!

Things between me and Wanda changed from good on one day, to terrible the next, as we had discussions about the past lies, and about her past relationships, like Udolf! I could bore you all with the details, but hey there are more important things!

Then came 12 December 1998 - another watershed day! We had a bit of a tense conversation about some issues, and she eventually decided to confess to a few more things, which were, well, in hindsight, rather unbelievable. Firstly, she admitted she was not 23, but 36. Phew! That was quiet a change. I of course asked about the photos. She said that the one of her in the blue bikini (SaraPic ?) was her when she was younger - to which we can now say "yeah right". The telescope girl picture (SaraPic ? ) she admitted was not her, but "in my defence" she said, it looked a lot like her - to which I can now also say "yeah right". She offered to scan new pics of herself, so that I would be able to see how close this pic (SaraPic?) was to how she looked. Of course getting more photos out of Wanda was a nightmare still to come in the future.

But that was not all I learnt that day. I was also informed that I would not only be getting a wife, but in fact also a 10 year old daughter, Felicity* (*I will not be using her real name on the web site). Well! This certainly was news! Wanda said she lied about Felicity because she "had to protect her daughter"! I am still today trying to work out how she could make her daughter "unsafe" or "unprotected" by telling me about her. Basically its rather simple! Wanda thought that I would not be interested in her, if I knew about the child! Well perhaps, or perhaps not, but now we will never know, will we? She told me about how she had been back-stabbed by VP people, for example those in the Germany room, and that she did not trust anyone! So she lied to me to protect herself and her daughter. The fact that she would hurt our relationship with all this lying and "protecting herself and her daughter" did not seem to concern her.

We the also naturally spoke about her previous relationships. About Felicity's father; about her boyfriend's, those men in her life besides the daughter's father. Incidentally she said that she had a boyfriend called Mark during the previous year. She had broken up with him in about March 1998 she said, because he cheated on her, with one of her best friends. I had previously spent much time consoling Wanda about this situation. I learnt more about Mark in months to come, so you should watch this space!

Life went on, however, and we tried to fix the mess (believe it or not). We even started planning the next trip for her to come to SA, or myself to go to the USA.

[Return to Menu]
PART TWELVE: STILL TOGETHER

Wanda and myself battled through the next weeks. I did not trust much she said, and she on the other hand was getting more jealous by the day. I chatted to a lot of ladies in VP, all just plutonic relationships, but Wanda always thought that talking meant more than talking for some reason. On 15 December 1998 we had an argument about, believe it or not, Iborian from Africa. Myself and Iborian had chatted that day, and next thing I was being interrogated about my relationship with Iborian, and if I phone her, and so on and so on. It was all ridiculous because we were just chatting. This is only one example of something that happened on average twice a week. I figured, however, that she would quit being jealous when we were together off line, so I overlooked the problem. A the same time we were still talking about all the lies she told since May 1998, and had plenty discussion trying to come to terms with it all. In the meantime a meeting was still on the cards.

Of course I had nothing but suspicions about Wanda's motives by now, and did not really trust her to come to SA anymore, and so we decided that I would go visit her in the USA. It was not that simple, however, as I was not sure that she really wanted to see me. So it was agreed that she would pay for the ticket. On 09 December 1998, I booked a flight (reserved an actual seat) to Detriot (near Toledo) with my travel agent. I would leave South Africa on 17 December 1998, and return on 14 January 1999. I then faxed her the form on which she would fill in her credit card details. Then I waited for her to fax it back! She did this on 10 December 1998; the details all nicely typed onto the form. I promptly sent this through to the travel agent!

[Return to Menu]
PART THIRTEEN: LATE DECEMBER

After I sent the Credit Card authorisation to the travel agent on Friday 10 December 1999, I awaited the call from them about how they would get the ticket to me. Well, I did get a call, but it was too tell me that the credit card authorisation had been denied. Later that Friday evening (10 December 1998) Wanda and I had a looooong discussion. She told me about how her limit was only $1000, and she swore that she thought the limit was $2000, and besides, why would they deny authorisation just because of going $60 over the limit (the total amount for the ticket would have come to $1060). She claimed that she had called the Credit Card company and asked them to increase the limit to $3000. Then she said she another credit card - some Gold Card, and that she would fill in the payment form again, with the Gold card's details, before the end of Friday, and she would then send this form directly to my travel agent. The Saturday we chatted again. Now she said that she would "handle" the ticket from her end - I assumed that meant she would buy a ticket in the USA. She also suddenly developed "problems" sending/faxing her card details to the travel agent directly. She was worried the details would fall into the wrong hands. So the Gold Card details had obviously not be sent to the travel agent on Friday as she had promised. When I questioned about the previous card that should have had its limit raise to $3000, she said she had problems getting the limit raise - the company had not done that. Needless to say, nothing came of this attempted trip to the USA. The credit card matters did not get solved, and I had to cancel the seat reservation.

We spent a lot of time battling through issue, such as the credit card problems, the pictures, the failed trips she had "planned" to SA. The relationship almost ended a couple of times during the December. On 14 December 1998, for example, she sent me an email. She wrote that because I had lost respect and love for her, she could no longer continue. However, it was of course not as simple as that. It was only a matter of time, a phone call, and a chat or two, and we were back on track.

The on 19 December 1998, I asked her to send me another picture. She had sent me a picture of Mark (the boyfriend that had cheated on her), so I told her that she must have a picture of herself (only natural if she had one of him). She started countering by saying the picture was not recent, and said that she thought that I wanted a recent picture. She also said that the picture was not very clear. She was of course just stalling, but eventually after much back and forth, she sent me WandaPic1. This picture was, however, of her at age 25. So naturally I requested a more recent one, which she said she would send me soon. Then on 21 December 1998 she sent me WandaPic2 by email. She told me that she had had this picture taken especially for me, at a studio, and so it was nicely framed.
	WandaPic1		WandaPic2

During that same chat on 19 December 1998, we also talked about the previous pics. She admitted that the white bikini pic (SaraPic8) was not of her. About the "telescope girl" picture (SaraPic5) she claimed that if she put her hair up like the girl in the picture, that she would look exactly like that, and that is why she sent it to me. But she claimed that the baseball pics (SaraPic1-4), the ski-ing trip (SaraPic6), as well as the blue bikini pictures (SaraPic7) were all of her.

That just about brought the year to a close. Except for working through the issues of the past; attempting to subdue my constant suspicions of everything she now said and did, and at the same time trying to regain my trust in Wanda, nothing more dramatic happened. But there was still much more excitement, as well as heartache to come in the future.

[Return to Menu]
PART FOURTEEN: INTO THE NEW YEAR WE GO...

January was a reasonable non eventful month. There were countless issues that we had to sort out. Of course we spoke often about meeting... still yes, and yet it seemed that Wanda was not really that interested any longer. I suppose the countless chats we had about the past 8 months of our false relationship, were a little harsh, what with all the discussions about the lying and deception and so on. It was during this December - January period that I found much about the real Wanda. I tired to forage my way through the web of deception to the real woman, but this was no easy task. She gave me some truths, but it was obvious that much was still hidden. I uncovered things on a continuing basis, and every time I found out about another lie, or a new deception the trust was trashed again. There was stuff from people from the VP Germany room that I spoke, who told me things about her causing problems in the room. I also found out about some her other VP names - she had more names than is normally would say. She used these names to chat to her other online friends, even striking up more than just simple friendships at times. She also used to names to chat to myself, eg "xxcandixx", pretending to be a airline stewardess and thereby trying to find out what I talk about when talking to females online.

February was a little more interesting. My dad and myself decided that we would both go to Germany to visit my grandfather for his 90th birthday on 01 March 1999. Checking around on the net, I found that one could get an air ticket from Detroit to Paris for as little as $183 on special. This naturally did not come about every day, but prices were often below $250. So Wanda and myself started to plan for a meeting in Paris. I would spend a week in Germany with the grandparents from 27 February 1998 - 04 March 1999, and then go to Paris. Wanda would arrive on Thursday 05 March 1999, and we would then spend a week there until 13 March 1999.

Considering the past numerous failed flights that Wanda had "arranged", I of course seriously doubted that she was actually coming to Paris. I was still unsure as to why it was that she did not want to meet me, except for that she convinced me that it was because she was scared to meet someone from the net, or scared that she would not measure up to my expectations of her, or something. So I asked her to show me proof that she actually did have a ticket to Paris - to fax me a copy of the ticket, or to scan it in and email it to me, or anything! Considering what she had done to me in the past, I did not think that was this too much to ask. Yet it took days of arguing about it from the beginning of February 1999 -she said I should trust her; that she was NOW telling me the truth; she promised she was coming COUNTLESS times; she said she really loved me; that she would not hurt me ever again, etc, etc, etc. We eventually on 15 February 1999, after many phones calls, and chats arguing about it all, she did then send me something. The last page of an air ticket is the voucher or receipt, and this is what she scanned in and sent me. She had bought the ticket on 04 February 1997 as indicated on the receipt.
I was a little puzzled about the 30 Sep 99 date that was on the on ticket. It made me very suspicious to see this date on the receipt, and I wondered it this was in fact a legitimate ticket at all. I eventually figured, however, that the date was somehow related to airline regulations or something, and so did not pursue the matter any further. She did after all promise that it was legitimate, and said she loved me, and etc.
	Air Ticket Voucher/Receipt

As I mentioned previously. February was not an easy month. Wanda and I had a lot of flights, and mostly about the air ticket, and whether she actually had one. Well that question was solved by her sending me the scanned ticket. However things were not all just clear from the onwards. During the past months we had given each other access to each others email and VP accounts, in an attempt to engender trust in our relationship. So from time to time I would check on Wanda's AOL email account, and see who she was writing to, and who was writing to her. There was, however, never anything much to be concerned about... well until that one day... 20 February 1999. It was Sunday morning about 1 am (SA time) or 6 pm (USA time) or about 7 am (Australian time) that I read an email from an online lover boy in Wanda's AOL account.

[Return to Menu]
PART FIFTEEN: THE EMAIL

The email was from non other than Gattling (yes Gattling from Africa room). See Gatt, I told you I would make you famous!! Of course I don't really have problems with chatters sending emails to each other, not even a male to my on-line girl friend. This email was, however, not the normal sort of email that friends write to each other. In this email there were statements like "I need you more than anything in the world..." and "My heart has been pounding furiously these past few hours in need of you" and the email ended with "Love you always and forever...Gatt". Certainly this was not just an email from one friend to another. Well at least not what I would define as just good old friends. So here was a thing brewing. Of course, for the content of emails to be such, there must have been quiet a bit of chatting going on in VP between my on line girl friend and Gattling, which was of course the case!

What is also rather ironic is that at the time Gattling was pretending to be my friend. I say pretending because in the email Gattling made reference to a conversation that he and I had on 17 February 1999. During this conversation Gattling became very quiet, and indicated that he had lag, and he sort of stopped chatting with me. In the email Gattling then wrote "Besides that, Iiwas talking to Ripster after you had left. Actually he had IMed me lol. He was asking me why i was suddenly ignoring him. It seems like i have made quite a good friend with him...lol. I guess that will end REAL fast after he finds out about us... hehe". I guess that sort of ruined the friendship eh Gattling?

Of course Gattling now says things like "VP is not real, just a game".. bla bla bla, and "it was not real" and of course his favourite excuse "she conned me". All those excuses, however, mean nothing of course because they both knew exactly what was going on.

Well as you can imagine, I was a little devastated. But, hey, first give the girl a chance. So, later that Sunday morning (20 February 1999) at about 3 am, Wanda, Gatt and myself got together in a room for a chat. During this chat Gatt claimed the email was written by his cousin "G_funk_era". He claimed that G_funk had access to his email account, and wrote on behalf of Gatt. Somehow that did not really make sense, however. In the email Gattling wrote about Jemal, with who he was chatting quiet seriously at the time. This was not something that another person, even a cousin would have written about.

So we had Gattling call G_funk on over to our room. We then tried to discuss the matter (all 4 of us) but without much success. G_funk was actually no help at all during that chat. He did not properly answer one single question that I put to him. In fact his lack of English made the conversation most difficult. Secondly his lack of knowledge about the email, and the situation in general was pretty obvious. He did not write the email. Beside, today I know he wrote it! I saw more emails a few weeks down the road. Not only this, but I also found out about the chat names that Wanda used when chatting to Gattling. (More about this in the future)

What is really disturbing is that Wanda sat by the whole time, letting Gattling and G-funk try to lie their way out of it. Additionally, she gladly added her 2 cents worth when appropriate, which meant of course lying through her teeth.

At the time both Wanda and Gattling proclaim loudly that this all meant nothing. Later Wanda claimed that I myself had driven her into Gattling's arms because of all the arguments we had - about her lying in the past in general, and about the air ticket specifically, during February 1998, when she did not want to send me proof that she had a ticket. Well, we did argue a lot, and there were many fights, but the reason for all those were that she lied in the past, and then in February did not want to send me the proof of the ticket. And now it is all my fault that she was looking for 'love, kindness, and acceptance' elsewhere? Go figure!!!!

So this little flirtation meant nothing to Wanda or Gattling, and it was just a game to Gattling as he himself said (VP is not real life remember Gattling). In that case, since its all so very meaningless, no one will mind if I just once break my own rule about not pasting entire chats and things in here so as not to bored the readers, and just paste the whole email!!

So here goes "NOTHING"!

I guess you can decide for yourselves what was going on! However, at the time, I was not quite sure what was going on. I convinced myself somehow, that Gattling and G_funk were telling the truth. I was convinced that Wanda really did love me still - she told me so countless times. She told me she was still coming to Paris.

So, notwithstanding the situation, I got over this issue AS well. Had I know that sometime in the future I would be reading more about the Gattling - Woblue situation, I might have ended it right at this point. In the meantime I was still hoping for a meeting in Paris in two weeks time. So I went to Germany.

[Return to Menu]
PART SIXTEEN: PARIS HERE WE COME

On 26 February 1999, it was onto an Olympic Airlines flight to Frankfurt, via Athens. For those that want to go see Athens Airport by the way - well give it a miss. It is old and dilapidated. My dad and myself spent the next week with my grandparents near the city of Kassel. On 01 March 1999 granddad turned 90 years old. Phew! So we had a royal old bash in one the restaurants.

During the week Wanda and myself did of speak quite often. I had my cell phone, and also bought about a couple of phone cards for use at the local pay phone. The grandparents would have had a heart attack if I had called the USA from their phone, so I thought I would spare them that! We spoke about the up and coming visit in Paris, where we would meet, and what we would then do. There had previously been discussions - many chats and telephone calls - about the best transport to Paris; about hotels to stay in; and what to do in Paris or wherever we went. At one time, before I left South Africa, we discussed the possibility of going to Monaco, and that was in fact still on the cards. I have always wanted to see Monaco, so we investigated, for hours, the rail and air transport options to Monte Carlo, as well as the VISA requirements for Wanda and myself; accommodation there, and so on.

Well, Thursday 04 March 1999 came. There was breakfast, and final chatting with the grandparents. It was about 12 hours before I would meet Wanda in Paris, that evening, at 6 pm, under the Eiffel tower! Romantic huh? Yeah I thought so too - was my idea! In fact she had landed that morning in Paris at 07:30 am.

Well after breakfast, whilst waiting until we were going to leave for Frankfurt (from where I would take a train to Paris) I took a walk around the little town of Kaufungen where we stayed. Then at about 10:00 as I walked past a payphone in the town, I decided to phone Wanda in the USA, where it was about 03:00 am. Silly of course right? Wanda was in Paris right? Naturally that was silly, because at that time she was Paris. In fact, she should have been in Paris for about 2.5 hours already, and at this time perhaps already winding her way through the city to a hotel somewhere, and making ready to find the Eiffel tower for 6 pm.

Nevertheless I did call her! Guess what? She answered!!! STOOD UP AGAIN!!!

I learnt from Wanda that she had called my grandparents house just 10 or 20 mins before that (before I called her from the payphone). I had, however, not been at the house, and therefore I had no idea that Wanda had called there. So she was actually expecting my call, and that is why she answered the phone, because, I guess, under normal circumstances she would not have answered, being about 3 am in the USA as it was. Well, I don't even remember if she offered any excuses for this failure to come and see me, and actually I don't think she did - it would have just been bull anyway. She had failed to meet my ultimatum - remember where I had said that she better come to Paris and that if she did not, it would be over between us. I reminded her of this, and then I called her a few choice names, that I have especially reserved for cases like these, and then put the phone down.

I guess I now sort of had a problem with regard to what I should be doing with the second week of the holiday. I was finished with visiting the grandparents, although I could have stayed there the second week as well. However, I actually wanted to go and do something else. So I toyed with the idea of going to Paris anyway; or perhaps going to southern Germany, and the latter is basically what I thought I would do in the end. So, I still went to Frankfurt with my dad, not quite decided about how I would spend the second week of my overseas holiday.

[Return to Menu]
PART SEVENTEEN: OF COURSE WE MET AT LAST

Whilst at the airport with my dad, waiting for him to catch his flight, I considered the idea of heading over to the USA to see Wanda. In the meantime I phoned Wanda once or twice from the Airport to see what her reasoning could have been for again standing me up, and to give her a good piece of my mind. So I made a reservation for an US Airlines flight to Detroit, on Friday 05 March 1999. After seeing my father off, I went into Frankfurt, where I spent the night.

The next day I departed at 09:00, and I arrived in Detroit at about 07:30 on Friday evening. Searching for a way to get to Toledo was a little more difficult than I anticipated. I imagined that things would be more as in Germany, with trains and buses running from and to every conceivable corner of the country. However, that is no the case in the USA. There you either have a car or maybe get lucky with a bus to your destination (but not around towns much) or use a taxi at astronomical fees or course, much the same as in South Africa by the way. Nevertheless, I eventually found a couple who wanted to share a cab to Toledo, and at about 21:00 we set off, straight into a snow storm. We first dropped off one passenger at some place in Detroit, then set off for Toledo. The trip which usually takes about 45 mins took over 3 hours, and I eventually arrive at my destination at about 1 am, on Saturday morning, 06 March 1999.

I rang the door bell but to no avail, again and again, but, well in the USA people sleep rather deeply it seemed. I could also not call her from my cell phone, as I had not originally asked for a roaming agreement for the USA, and there was no pay phone around that I could see. So, after standing around being snowed on for about 15 mins, I eventually decided to ring for the downstairs neighbour who was still awake. The neighbour lady then went up the stairs, knocked until Wanda opened up, and told her that she had a visitor at the main door. I think she must have realised at this point that it was me. At least she did hear it was me when I thanked the neighbour lady for her help. So it was that a few moments later I was standing in Wanda's apartment.

[Return to Menu]
PART EIGHTEEN: ANOTHER WANDA

So there we were, Woblue and Ripster, face to face, after 10 month on the net. I suppose you will be able to imagine my surprise that the women that stood in front of me was a stranger - I had never seen her before. When she spoke, I did recognise the voice, but as for her appearance, I had NO idea who this women was. I would not have known for sure that it was Wanda, had I not known it was her, in her apartment.

Yip, you guessed it!!!! The picture that she has sent me, viz WandaPic2, was a fake. I was surprised in a way, but not too shocked I guess. I suppose I had expected something of the kind. With all that had happened, and having been stood up countless times, I had already been pretty sure that she was not the girl in the picture.

What did she look like? Well, she is blonde. She is of average height for a woman. She is also somewhat overweight - about 55 pounds (25 kg). I estimate her weight at about 180 pounds (82 kgs). This is quite a bit up from the figure of 125 pounds that she told me, and everyone else in VP, about. I would also say, for those that always ask me, that she is quite pretty. If she was at her normal weight, I am sure this would prove to be true!

It took no major analysis to realise the reason for the continual failures to come and see me. The weight problem was, in my opinion, the single most significant factor in the whole deception game that she played. She figured that no one would want her like that, so she changed things a little, and whilst changing the weight, why not just change a few other things, like for example, reduce the age, and lose the daughter!

During the time we spent together we had countless discussions, arguments and fights, and so we tried to work through the problems and lies of the past. She did I must say tell me some more things about herself, her previous marriage, her daughter, things that happened on the net, and so on. Of course, I could never really be sure just what she was still lying about, or lying about more to cover up past lies! I tried, however, to get all my major questions answered.

During the week, during the discussions, and in other things that I saw, I found out quite a few things - things that had taken place during the past months, that broke my heart a little more. However that was also to be expected I suppose! If I had found out about so many deceptions already from the other side of the Atlantic, then you can imagine that I would find out more whilst in Toledo!

We also did a few fun things together as well. What I found out in the process, and what was quite encouraging is that off line, she is actually a nice person. She is very sweet, soft spoken, gentle, and kind.

This was such a contrast to the lying, possessive, jealous, cheating, deceiving, troublemaker, that I spoke to online. How could she be two such different people?

[Return to Menu]
PART NINETEEN: NOT ALL BAD... BUT MORE SURPRISES

The week was not all bad, and just fighting and arguments. The reason I am telling you this, is just so that you the reader do not have any questions about Wanda's hospitality. She let me stay in her home, we shopped and ate together, and did some interesting and fun things as well. We went to dinner at a restaurant in Toledo with another couple, friends of her's, where I had swordfish for the first time. Wanda even bought me some new clothes for this occassion. For anyone that comes across swordfish by the way, its high recommendable. We also did some bowling (where I came horribly last, hehe), and a car show. On Friday 12 March 1999, we went to the Toledo Zoo. On the Saturday morning before I was to leave again for Europe, we went to the Windsor Casino (Canada), where we lost a quick $40 (Canadian) in the slot machines. There was at some stage a question about Wanda giving me money, as much as $1000. This is in no way true. She did, however, pay for just about all of the things that I just mentioned above. I had, however, paid for the ticket to get to the USAfrom Europe, so that was only fair.

During the time that I was there, we naturally did some stuff on the computer. Once whilst downloading her Email from AOL, I learnt that one can use the AOL Mangement program to store old emails. In this program there were another 5 emails from Gattling to Wanda, written during February. They were all in the same vein as the email mentioned above, with "miss you", "want and need you" , "love you like crazy", etc, etc. She had obviously always downloaded her email onto her home computer, and into the AOL management program, and therefore I did not see these emails. In any case, I did not check her AOL but on the rare occasion, so it was just a MAJOR co-incidence and bad luck that I did find the one email in the AOL web account still! She must just not have gotten there in time to download it. Also, I did not see any emails FROM her TO Gattling. She claims never to have written any to him, but, oh well, can't really believe that. It jsut more likely that she never saved any is more likely. Wanda was pretty good about writting emails, as I personally know. However, even if she did not write TO Gattling, the emails that he wrote to her, were not JUST written without any encouragement from her, and this was naturally done in chats in VP.

Sadly, I found one such chatt saved on her computer, also from February - late February if I remember correctly. It was just one chat, but enough to show me that more was going on than just simple friendship. it was pretty hard to see the girl you love, and some other guys making romantic small talk and flirting with each other.

Then for another surprise about Wanda, and her dealings in Virtual Places. For those who don't know Excite's Virtual Places (VP) you should this note first.

It was on Thursday 11 March 1999, that I went to pick her up from work at the College. Whilst there, I thought I would just chat quickly on VP. When the VP browser opened up, I got a surprise, because I had never before seen the chat names that I saw then.

The first name on the list in the account was "kayalas_kisses" (spelling may be a little off, but its close enough). I forget the other names now, there were a few, but I did not make mental notes of the others, as the first one was bad enough. This was the name (well at least one of them) that she used when chatting to Gattling, during February 1999. Interesting acutally, because I took up so much of her time already in VP, that she should not really have had time to chat, with other names, to other people.

Oh well!

Months before, in about October 1998, Wanda had created an account with the name lady_ripster, which was a name that she used in VP with me from especially October onwards. I had last spoken to her as 'lady_ripster' just before I left South Africa for Germany on 25 February 1999. If she not spoken in VP after that day, the lady_ripster account would have been the account that would come up, when I opened the VP browser.

It was therefore OBVIOUS that she used the account with kayalas_kisses between 26 February 1999, when I left for Germany, and 11 March 1999. So her liaisons with Gattling continued whilst I was in Germany, whilst during that time she and I were talking about her coming to Paris. Their chatting no doubt continued whilst I was in Toledo. Or she was chatting with other people using those names - who knows! She claimed not to have spoken in VP since I left South Africa, but, well, I am quite sure that Wanda would not do without VP for 14 days. At the very least it was clear that she had spoke with this "kayalas_kisses" name LAST, which must have been after I had left South Africa. That was enough for me!

This was not the only 'additional' VP account that Wanda had. Of course it is no problem having more than one account, as most VP chatters, including myself, do have more than one. When you, however, create accounts to have such things as online affairs then it becomes unacceptable. This in addition to all the accounts that she created to come in and chat to me personally, to check up on me, during the months before. This did not end then either, and in the future she would still create new accounts and names, for chatting in VP to check up on me; trying to "catch me out", doing who knows what, as well as using the names to create friction between myself and some of my online friends. But enough about that now.

Saturday 13 March 1999 came very quickly. It seemed that whilst that Wanda and I spoke, and whilst I was finding answers to questions, that there were always more questions cropping up. There had been so many lies, and lies to cover up the previous lies, that it seemed like there was no way in which I could be sure what the truth really was. I was still pleased, however, that I was able to see her face to face. I am sure meeting in person must have given her a sense of reality about our relationship - that I was a real person, and not just a name on the computer screen, a voice on the phone, and an abstract entity to be played with. So I was able to obtain some measure of closure, by going to see her in the USA, even though there remained many issues about which I was not (and can never be) certain what the truth was exactly.

When I left the USA, it was also the end of our relationship. I had given Wanda an ultimatum that if she did not come to Paris then it would be over. However, nothing goes in a straight line. We still had quiet a lot of contact, in chat and on the phone. It is not easy just breaking something off cold, especially when one chats in the same room in VP. As the people in the VP Africa room know, many problems exhibited themselves from March 1999 until Novemeber 1999. Such were the extent of these problems that I eventually decided on 04 December 1999 to lauch this web page.

[Return to Menu]
PART TWENTY: LIFE BACK IN GOOD OLD SOUTH AFICA

I had said that it would be over if she stood me up in Paris, and I intended to stick to that. Instead of making one error, fixing it, and never making the same again, she had continued to lie to me on a constant basis. We had the chance to fix it from late November, when I received that fateful email, all the way to March 1999, when she did not come to Paris. Each time, after something major happened, just when I thought that we were building the trust up, it was trashed again. By March 1999 there had been so many lies, so much deception, that there was no way that I would ever be able to trust Wanda again. I had been hurt many times. By doing this she had started choking the feelings that I had for her and never given them a chance to recover, and I had almost involuntarily been pushed away from her by her own actions. However, on should never assume that anything goes in a straight line. I still felt so much for this girl, and there is no simple on-off switch, to turn all feelings concerning a person off. Moreover, I’m not the type of person that breaks of relationships that easily, and even if this case it was hard for me to just let go cold turkey. I stupidly figured that we could perhaps have some sort of friendship, and so we continue chatting, and speaking on the phone. I can’t really be sure why, as could never have been any realistic hope that things would ever work out! So we continue some sort of relationship, although I hesitate to say it was very normal. We spent more time arguing and fighting than anything else.

In the past, in 1998, before I got serious with her, I had met quite a few people from the net, a few of which have remained friends and acquaintances in varying degrees. It was always interesting to find out a little more about the person who was on the other side of the computer screen. Just for the record, and especially for Wanda, I must say that none of the women that I met ever were given the impression that I intended anything more than just friendship. We perhaps got on well on-line, and the chance is always there that we might get on well off-line. None can complain that I hurt them, as there was never anything going on, or even promised. If we did not become the closest of friends, that is also ok, because not every meeting was supposed to lead to intense friendship, but rather the purpose of meeting was to see who is chatting on the other computer. A number of these meeting have, however, led to new friendships, which shows that net friendships can become more.

I was determined to try and continue life after Wanda, so to speak. So after coming back from the USA, I thought that I would continue meeting a few people. So it was that from the first week back, I chatted online, made a few new friends, and also met some of them off line.

Why is this important at all? Well it’s simply because Wanda cannot accept, even until today, that I came back from the USA and immediately continued life as normal, and meeting, especially, women. She said this means that I never loved her, did not care about her, etc. This is just plain ridiculous. Of course I loved her. Just the fact that I was willing to forgive her for all her lying and deceiving, and continue with a relationship after Nov 1998, should be enough proof. Why was it easier for me that for her to continue life as normal? For me our relationship started dying on 25 Nov 1998, and because of her continued deceptions, it never got a chance to be revived. So when I got back from the USA, I did not need not to go into mourning for months anymore.

Then was the problem that she often accused me of "hiding" things from her, mainly about who I see and go out with of course. Many people in the Virtual Places Africa chat room have heard her directing this accusation at me. Due to the fact that some of the people that I met were from the net, she would eventually find out about it, and understandably she would be upset at this, especially considering how jealous she is. She then accused me of "hiding" these meetings from her. Wanda and myself spoke at length about this problem. She said I should tell her before I met anyone, so as not to be hiding anything. I then tried this method, and told her before I met someone, or before I would go on a date, but her reaction to this was also bad, almost the same as if I did not tell her anything. So it was a "catch 22". In any event, for those that heard that I was "hiding" things, THIS is what it was about.

Another major problem that Wanda had is that whilst I was meeting new people, and going out with friends, new and old, I continued to chat and speak on the phone with her. I don’t deny that I continued speaking to her, over the months. We were in the same chat room, and often at that, and it was not only myself that initiated conversation – she also did, both online and on the phone. She now assumed my talking to her, constituted a permanent (going steady) relationship. This meant that if ever I met or went out with a women that I was "cheating" on her. There can, however, be no doubt that we were not going out anymore. I did tell her this, and she quite clearly knew this. To indicate how clearly Wanda knew this, one only has to remember that she had at least two on line relationships (with other South Africans) between March and August of 1998. One of these was rather serious, and much more so than anything I have ever had since breaking up with Wanda. She will claim that these relationships were SO serious. I am, however, not stating that they were getting married, but it was serious enough to show that she knew that me and her were finished. So, for those that heard that I "cheated" on Wanda, THIS is what it was about.

So you think that the whole story ends just here. Well sadly there is so much more all leading up to the decision to start publishing a web site about the Ripster-Woblue situation. As you can imagine I would not just publish a web site for fun. The relationship had ended in March 1999, and the web site only started in Dec 1999. So much happened in those months that I could write a book on that alone. A number of my online acquaintances and friends know how Wanda tried to break up my friendships. My chat names were used (very similar names) to cause trouble, or to find out who I was chatting to, and to find out if I was developing a new romantic relationship on line. People were lied to about me cheating on them, and I was lied to about them cheating on me (when there was no even any serious relationship between us). Wanda has contacted countless of my online friends, to warn them about "what I am really like", under the guise of want to "just help them". Remember!! Just because SOME don’t know about this, does not mean that it did not happen to many others. To clear up some outstanding mysteries, I will provide some detail on the kind of things that happened.

Some the people that I during the first few months, especially weeks, on the net, bore the brunt of my hurt from the problems with Wanda. I shared my experiences with these people, and sometimes I told them too much. I had thought that I could trust them, especially the South Africans that I met in person, even though I did not always know them that well. A number of them of course went back to Wanda, and asked her about the situation, where they were naturally told that I was just making up a lot of stuff. Obviously she was rather convincing, because some people actually believed her. Well this web site will hopefully bring to an end any doubt about the situation.

[Return to Menu]
SPECIAL MESSAGE TO
EXCITE VIRTUAL PLACES AFRICA ROOM CHATTERS

Some of the people chatting in especially the Excite's Virtual Places Africa room found time to all gossip about the Woblue - Ripster situation, and add their own themes and ideas into the story. This caused some to also turn against me or Wanda to a degree. You gossips and betrayers – you know who you are, and no one is impressed by your ability to play games with information. Am I being a little blunt? Well, that is the way I am, and I don’t think you should be under the impression that what you did is ok. In mitigation perhaps you have only that Wanda is very convincing, and you were fooled. However, those days are over now, as you should by now know the truth.

Of course there is a lesson in this, and teaching lessons is one purpose of this web site. Don’t trust anyone too soon, not even those you meet from the net. Certainly don’t share those parts of your story which you feel can be used later against you.

On a positive note, concerning meeting people from the net. I can say that the South Africans that I have met were honest about who they were as far as far as appearance and their life in general was concerned. Even those that later gossiped, and caused trouble, at least were not deceptive about who they were. This I would say is commendable.

This does not of course mean that everyone is honest, and there are a number of Africa Room chatters who are deceptive. Some make themselves out to be better than they are, trying to impress and fool the ones that just want to make honest friends. Hackers prevail as well, as Virtual Places and ICQ gives the hackers a very easy starting point for their victims. Then there are the cowardly guests who have the largest of mouths, yet lack the gall to identify themselves. Sadly these guest are very often regular chatters, who one moment pretend to be a friend, and the next swear at you from behind a "guest status". But of course being a guest is not always cute, so there is always the option of coming in under another legitimate looking identity and deceiving people that way. Some Africa room chatters have a myriad of "different" identities, even identities of gender (ie female) opposite to real gender (ie male). It is unimaginable that some people have the time to play games so much, unless perhaps a large part their purpose on-line is to play games and hurt people. So be forewarned chatters ,this IS the current situation in chatting environment, and certainly in the VP Africa Room. To those who are playing the games, I hope that you will stop your games, because eventually you will be caught out, as some of you already have been.

[Return to Menu]
TO CONTINUE... PAGE 3, PART 21...

MENU & CONTACT DETAILS