by Asia
"I don't think we have this much time."
Joharran saw her discomfort and wondered "it's alright, we'll talk about it some other time"
Emerald's eyes filled with tears 'he is so good to me' she thought 'and I'm shamelessly lying to him'.
"it's alright..." he said again.
"no, it's not." she cried and ran away.
"Emerald..." he tried to grasp her hand, but she got away "don't go". but it was useless, she quickly disappeared in the darkness.
Joharran sat heavily on the ground "what did I do wrong?"
Emerald ran blindly through the darkness until her side hurt. she slowed down and walked down the path. looking up through the tears she thought she saw a movement through the living room window. she held her breath for a minute. nothing moved. 'must be the wind' she thought to herself as she entered the quiet house.
*****
"hurry up, will you?"
"what's the rush?"
"Emerald, you are not listening. what have we talked about at breakfast?"
"I don't remember."
"we talked about dinner. we are having dinner at Pol's house today."
"Sam, are you telling me that we are going to Pol? today?"
he could notice the annoyance in her voice "I knew something was wrong when you agreed so quickly." she was so weird sometimes.
"how could I agree to that?" she felt terrible, this day was so awful and now this.
"your agreement was only for the record. his mother invited you, you have to come." he hated to go also, but there were no other choices.
*****
they rode in silence in the cool breeze of the afternoon. the carriage in front of them was rapidly getting away, but they kept their pace. there was no need to hurry now. the sun was about to set down, and they didn't want to miss it.
when the light was getting weaker, and the sky turned to bright orange they stopped the horses, savoring every moment of the beautiful sunset.
Sam heard Emerald sigh and looked at her face closely. she had tears in her eyes, though she tried very hard to control them.
"what is going on with you?" he tried to catch her eyes but she avoided him.
she shrugged but didn't answer.
"we used to tell each other everything, and now, I know something has happened. but you won't let your best friend to help you..."
Emerald could not control her tears now "it's just that I'm sick of all this lies..."
"what lies?"
Emerald looked at his eyes. she wanted desperately to tell him.
"come on, tell me. I want to help."
'oh, this is so hard' she struggled with herself. she wanted so much to spill it from her heart.
*****
"how are you today ?"
Pol turned around in shock. not just that Emerald actually talked to him, she was actually nice. and what was more surprising, he felt as if she was flirting with him. "are you okay ?" he asked nervously.
"I'm great, would you like to go outside for a while ?"
"of course" he agreed quickly.
Emerald put her hand in his and they walked out. not before she saw the astonish look on her father's face.
Sam followed them quietly. he didn't want her to be alone with that beast. so he hide in the bushes.
it was hard hiding in there. he had to suppress a few chuckles and laughs, seeing them together. Emerald behaved like some in love teenager, smearing herself over him. 'Emerald is the best actor ever' he thought to himself. but could not escape the pang he felt in his heart. he tried to ignore it, but it didn't leave him the whole night.
though he didn't want to admit it, he was jealous.
*****
Sam watched them for a few moments, and then sadly went back in to the house. Emerald could handle him herself. Pol didn't even notice him, he was so absorbed in Emerald's flirting.
'step 2 is about to begin' he thought to himself as he entered the living room.
Joseph had a big smirk on his face when he turned to Sam "I see she got back to her senses "
Sam forced himself to smile "yes, we had a long talk, that's why we were late."
"oh, what did you tell her that changed her mind ?" Joseph was surprise but very proud of his nephew.
"I kind of opened her eyes. I told her that she has no choice, and that he will be a good provider to the children she'll have. she was convinced it is the best for her."
"very good. keep it up." he was very impressed. his daughter was hard to persuade.
Sam only smiled.
*****
"you were the best. I'm telling you. even Margaret was confused." Sam was ecstatic.
Emerald made a bow "thank you, thank you" she said to her fake audience.
they both laughed.
still chuckling they mount the horses and started the way home.
"you should see him, I think you and Joharran are much alike." she smiled at him. suddenly Emerald remembered last night, all the high spirit vanished. "but I guess you won't. I think I really ruined it this time."
"don't be such a pessimistic, I'm sure he is waiting for you right now."
"oh Sam, I don't want to lose him..."
*****
the night was extremely bright. there was no clouds and all the stars was shining. Joharran sat near the stream, looking at his reflection on the still water. he was deep in his thoughts and didn't hear the steps behind him. when he looked at the pool again there was another set of eyes looking at him.
Joharran took Emerald's hand gently and pulled her close to him. they sat in silence for a few minutes, then Emerald turned to him, her eyes were wet.
"I'm sorry."
"don't be, it's okay"
"no, stop being so nice. I know I've hurt you."
Joharran lowered his head "did I do something wrong ?"
"no, not at all. I would like to explain myself. but before that, there is someone I would like you to meet." she got up and went behind the bushes. she returned leading a horse, after her was another man who was leading a horse too.
"Joharran, I would like you to meet my cousin, Sam." then turning to Sam. "Sam, this is Joharran."
Sam was impressed, Joharran was a very big man by all means. and he didn't had a posture of a slave, in fact he could have looked like the master without those weary clothes. he knew Emerald was right.
"Sam would watch over us tonight " she said in zelandonii "it is very dangerous for us to be here alone."
Joharran nodded in understanding.
"and this is my horse star."
Joharran patted star's neck in admiration. the horse was very big, bigger then the horses in his time, he was sure. and he was white. white was sacred to the zelandonii. he never saw a white horse before, though he heard stories "he is beautiful."
Emerald only smiled. she went with Sam to place the horses near the trees, then Sam went to watch and they were alone.
she was about to sit down when Joharran said "don't sit on the mud. it would ruin your outfit. lets go for a walk"
after a couple of minutes of awkward silence Emerald realized she had no other choices. might as well say it and get over with it.
"my father wants me to get married " she said quietly.
"I'm sorry, but I don't think I understood you. what is 'father'?"
Emerald looked at him with surprise "I'm his daughter."
"men can't have babies!" he exclaimed.
"I know they don't have them. but they create them..."
Joharran sat heavily on the ground.
"are you okay?" Emerald asked worriedly.
"yes...no...I don't know." he answered weakly "could you explain it for me please?"
"what's there to explain?" Emerald couldn't understand the fuss he maid of it.
"our believes are very different."
"it is not about believes, it's plain fact."
"we believe that the mother bless a women with child, and uses the spirit of the men. but I guess you'd know better than me"
"when a man and a woman ah...making love..." she said in embarrassment "the man make the woman pregnant." she couldn't make herself to say it in more specific details.
"she was right..." he mumbled with disbelieve.
"who was right?"
"Ayla, she knows it. she always insisted that Matanya was Jondalar's daughter also."
after a few minutes of trying to comprehend it he remembered that she tried to tell him something "your father wants you to mate ?"
"yes, actually he decided that a few months ago."
Joharran's face fell "what about us?"
*****
Joharran's face drained, he let go of her and paced backward.
"I'm sorry Joharran, I didn't mean to lead you off like this. you have to believe me..." she pleaded him. she could taste the salty tears that fell from her eyes.
Joharran felt cheated, he was about to turn around and leave, when he remembered his dreams. "in my dream, you were crying for help..." he looked strangely at her "I was send hear to save you, I'm sure of it. but save you from mating? can't you just say no?" 'this people's customs are so strange' he thought to himself.
Emerald sat heavily on the ground "I can't, the fathers are the ones to arrange it, they can do what ever they like."
he looked at her face, they were full of desperation, and his heart melted. he sat down next to her.
"my father, he is..." she didn't know how to say it, and started another approach "there is another big farm in this city, very close to us. her owner is very ill. my father, he wanted the farm to himself. I'm...the only way to get it." she said sadly "so he made me marry...mate his son" she finished with a sob.
Joharran was thunderstruck "what a father would do it to his daughter?"
"there is one more thing i have to tell you...if you would not want to see me after that, I'll understand..."
Joharran nodded, he could see that the tears came back to her eyes, but he saw something more, he saw fear. he could feel her fear burning his soul, like in his dream.
she knew she had to tell him, but it was so hard. she closed her eyes and tried to find the words to say it, there was no way. she stressed her brain harder, and harder. then, she didn't feel the ground anymore. she felt like in a trance...
the wind scattered her hair, but she didn't care. she loved riding on her horse, she loved the wind blend with the sun on her face. but most of it, she loved to hear herself laughing when she bounced on Angelina's back. so she laughed...
when she felt that the horse needed a rest, she guided her slowly to a halt. then, tied her to a tree near the bank so the horse could drink her full. then she found a place to lie down, and fallen to a quick nap.
suddenly she felt that something was blocking the sun. she opened her eyes but it was dark. reaching her hand to her face she felt some kind of a handkerchief on her face, then someone took her hands and tied them to her back. the realization came to her when she felt him fumbling under her dress.
"nooooooooo..." she screamed and squirmed as hard as she could, but he put his hand on her mouth to cover it. she could smell his cologne. she opened her mouth and quickly bite it. she heard him scream "try it again" he whispered to her ear, then she felt the cold steel on her neck and stopped fighting.
"that's better " he said with a sneer.
"no, please...I am virgin. please..." she had no choice but beg "please..."
"shut up!"
he pushed her head to the ground until her mouth filled with soil.
her tears was streaming down her cheek, and then fell on the grass. she screamed when she felt him enter. never in her life she felt anything so painful as this.
in the sound of the screaming he pulled her hair "shut up, or I'll kill you!" he yelled.
she felt him push, and with every push she felt a tearing inside of her. until it was beyond her will of power and she past out.
*****