By Jes
Caution:this post painfully pokes phun at the movie CotCB.
Script: written by Jes <for the screen>
Act 1;Scene 1
*Horizon shot...pan left across mountains, getting the sunrise*
*Come in close above the treetops, then down the river*
*Close in on the beach,and then the lean-to*
Enter:Ayla <5 yrs old> [she walks out, looks around,then skips over to the beach,and swims]
*shot of little girl swimming, otters swim away*
[Ayla goes back onto the beach, then begins to play with pebbles,stacking them]
^rumbling noise^
*birds fly from trees*
*shot of pebble falling from the pile*
[Ayla looks around,growing frightened,crying out.]
*shot of trees falling, landslides*
[Ayla runs to the lean-to, but is too late]
*lean-to falls into crack*
^sad music^
end of scene one
---------------------------------------------
Now, let's get behind the scenes footage, shall we???
Director- get a right to left shot of the mountains...RIGHT TO LEFT! YER DOING IT BACKWARDS!!!
Camera guy- right boss...sorry *looks at his hands to see which one makes the "L"*
Director- Okay...nice, nice,catch the sunrise...hey! Where the hell's the sunrise?
Asst.Director- CUE THE SUN!!!!
Director- *rubs his temples* Dammed prop people...Bravo, it's rising now!
Asst.Director- Take it to the trees now- OVER THEM IDIOT... not through them!
CameraMan - ACK! OUCH! dammed braches-HEY UP THERE!!
ManControllingCrane- oops...sorry buddy, I'll have ya outta dere in a sec...hang on...uh... what button is
up?
Asst.CraneMan- duh...try dis one...*push*
Director- what are you-HOLY MACKANAW!!!RUN AWAY!!!!
---------------------------------------------
HollyWood News
Sally:
Sadly, the production of the much awaited Clan of the CaveBear movie,based on the book, has been
delayed as yet again everyone on the crew are either dead,injured, or in too much shock to even talk. A
huge crane this time fell over, but fingers are being pointed to the director, who died in this horrible
tradgedy. Bob?
Bob:
Yes Sally. This time it WAS a crane, but last time, it was malaria. Will this film ever be finished, or is it as
cursed as the cavemen it portrays?what do you think Lance?
Lance:
Well, it could be any number of things. Let's go LIVE with Travis at the scene of the crisis.Travis?
Travis:
Yes, I'm here with Lou Fepps, one of the crew. Lou, if you could,try and tell us what Happened, and what
you do here.
Lou:
Whelp,ya see, Ah's wurk on dat dere crane dat felled on all dem peoples, an' I swear dat dat director went
offa 'is rocker,climbin' like he was. Craziest ting ya everest saw!
Travis:
Well, there you have it folks, a terrible accident, the fault of a man,who now is dead.
Sally, back to you.
Sally:
Thank you Travis, Bob?
Bob:
And now back to Lance.Lance?
Lance:
Yes Bob?
Bob: You're on...
Lance n what?
Sally: You're on telivision idiot! Jezz you do this all the time
Bob: Really! Pay attention already!
Director-CUT TO COMMERCIAL!!!!!!!
The End