Legal Disclaimer:*sigh* Jean Auel and company owns the Earth's Children Series, I don't. So lawyers, put down your lawsuits! (pretty please?). And although it was said in the books that a Zelandonii joining was elaborate, the particular joining scene in here is pretty simple. Kapeesh? Mushiness alert, too. One other thing. This story depicts rather...realistic, and somewhat graphic, detail of a birth rescue scene, so if you're squeamish, beware, okay? You can't say I did not warn you.....And I should add that inspiration for some of the birth scene particulars came from the book Midnight Flame, by Catherine Hart.

Teaser: Somebody discovers his totem, and an important joining takes place on two fronts.

Broud almost blinked in acute surprise as the big, ugly blonde woman lowered herself gracefully before him with bowed head. Her posture conveyed nervousness, anticipation, and uneasiness all at one time.

He leaned down and tapped her shoulder. "This woman is confusing her status with the Clan women," he gestured. "She does not have to bow in the manner of a woman; she is Chosen of Ursus and an honorary male."

"Does the man object to a woman doing so as a sign of respect, regardless?" she asked, catching his eye. One thing about Broud that had not changed, it was his desire for attention.

The Clan had returned that very evening from their first long hunt. It was the same day Anya and Echozar had made their Promises to one another, the day after the Root Ceremony that--which Anya was grateful for--most of the Clan, including Broud, had missed. Broud was tired, but not too tired to hear of some of the events the remaining Clan had experienced while he and the hunting party was away. However, like Brun and Durc had promised to do, they did not sign one word about the incident with the roots. Not even Broud was ready for the news of women doing that sort of thing yet.

What does the woman wish?" he gestured, sensing clearly her tenseness and feeling his curiosity overwhelming him.

"This woman has an important request," she gestured formally still. "It is not for herself, but for the man she will be mating tomorrow."

"A mate!" Broud could not help but voice his surprise. "Anya, you are going to be mated?"

She gestured in the affirmative. "Yes, this woman is going to be mated tomorrow at the group Matrimonial. That is why she came to you with an important request on behalf of her Promised one."

"Who are you going to mate?" he asked, feigning indifference but secretly almost relieved. He had seen Ayla complain about being at her wit's end trying to find a mate for her daughter; he had hoped that, because she had been adopted into the Clan, the responsiblity was not going to fall on his head. Who would take such an ugly woman?

"This woman is going to be mated to Echozar, the man of mixed spirits," Anya gestured proudly.

"Echozar?" Broud was a bit dumbfounded. The man of mixed spirits? Such children he had not quite stopped regarding as bad luck, because it was the Clan way. He had accepted the children of Durc's Hearth because he feared Ayla's spirit's wrath if he dared otherwise. And they did not seem unlucky. But overcoming the Clan way was very, very difficult.

"Echozar," Anya confirmed. "He is not a bad-luck man, Broud. This woman has known him all her life. He's a skilled flint-knapper, an excellent hunter--you saw him yourself--and he speaks the language both of the Clan and of the Zelandonii quite fluently. And he is wise in the way very few individuals are."

Though he would admit it only to himself, Broud could discern no untruth in her posture.

"Are you certain you are well-matched with this man?" he gestured. "You are already older than most unmated women anyway, Anya. You have a very high status in the Clan and among your group. You are without child. You may never have children because your totem is too strong. Ursus has never allowed himself to be defeated. And the man you wish to mate; he has Clan blood, but he is not Clan. He does not even have a totem. "

"This woman knows that, she came to you with an important request."

He grunted, waiting.

"This woman would request that the leader accept Echozar into the Clan as I was accepted. He does have Clan blood, as the leader said, and he may have a totem that could overcome mine."

"Accept him into the Clan!" Broud was not expecting this type of request. "What would he say to this? He has grown up among your kind; he does not know our ways. I do not even know how he comes to be among you. What man of the Clan would find a woman of the Others attractive enough to mate?"

From the way Broud put it, Anya realized something important. Broud was assuming that, because Echozar lived with the Others, his woman had been of them, and it was she who had been in the close proximity of the men to allow her spirit to be defeated.

Anya had to tell him it was the other way around. "It was Echozar's mother that had been a Clan woman, Broud," she carefully explained. "She and her mate had been out one day when men of the Others attacked them. Her mate was killed; she was forced without the benefit of the signal, which Others men don't even recognize. She was forced by a whole group that had pounced upon her like a pack of wolves. She was badly hurt."

"Men do have needs," he started to say, then stopped. "But I get the feeling that Clan women are very ugly to men of the Others. Why would they relieve their needs with her?"

"They forced her, Broud. I know women have to submit in the Clan, she would have if they had given her the signal. But as I said, our kind does not use it, they don't know what it is. When her mate was killed trying to defend her, she was blamed. When it was discovered she was pregnant, her mate's brother, the leader, took her as second woman. When she gave birth to Echozar, she was blamed again as a bad-luck woman and cursed with death."

Broud suddenly looked surprised.

"She sadly took her son and went to go fulfill the curse. Her own famly would not see or hear her. Her 'spirit' did not get a chance to die, because a kindly man of the Others found her and took her in as his woman. It did not matter to him that she was Clan. Echozar grew up knowing the Clan language, and the ways of the Others. He has the memories of the Clan, too." Anya sighed. "After his mother's mate died, and his mother herself, he tried to find a place to stay. No Clan would take him in, they called him deformed and unlucky. Many caves among the Others also called him an abomination and chased him off. Finally, Dalanar-the father of the hearth of the father of my hearth-found him and made him Lazandonii."

Anya straightened and looked Broud in the eye. "That is why this woman requests he be made a member of the Clan, as well as being numbered among the Others. This woman wishes for him to belong to both of his people. And if his mate is going to be Clan, he should be Clan as well."

Broud thought about this. "What you request is....difficult," he began.

"The leader could ask Mog-Ur to see if Echozar has a Clan totem. If this woman of the Others has your most powerful spirit for a totem, then perhaps the man who is part Clan has one too. And it would please Ursus."

Broud considered. If it would please Ursus to at least try, then perhaps there would be no harm in at least asking Goov to try. To deny any request of Ursus would be suicide for not only him, but possibly the Clan as well.

But Anya's almost insane request to make the man of mixed spirits--whose mother had been death-cursed on top of it--a member of the Clan! Broud could only hope Anya's extensive connection with the spirit realm had not gone haywire, and a spirit of the Crazy Ones had taken over her body. Since Ayla, the spirits of his Clan had never really been well-ordered, anomalies had plauged them since her arrival.

*But,* he thought, *We have so many, what is just one more? And she said so; it would please Ursus. I could tell she wasn't lying, she was serious. But what about this Echozar? Would he be willing to join my Clan? He grew up among the Others. He would have difficulty keeping the women in line, especially his mate--no, he can't even be dominant to her, her totem is too powerful and it is not their way. He does not know about our sacred rites. His mother was cursed with death. Doesn't that make him unlucky? How would I know if saying yes to Ayna would be a wise decision? And besides, if he becomes a man of the Clan and mates by Clan tradition, she would likely never become pregnant. His totem would never overcome Ursus. His totem! What about his totem? Anya was right, that 's it! I will ask Goov to meditate and see if the spirits have granted this man a totem. If so, maybe I will know what to do next.*

With this resolution in mind, he simply told Anya he would see what could be done. Resolutely, he went to find his Mog-Ur.

****

With determination in his step, Goov went to the tiny niche in the Cave wall that he had deemed as his personal sacred place, forbidden to the women and for Mog-Ur and acolyte rites alone.

Overhead, there was a small hole that went up and then bent forward to a tiny opening in the cave wall that led to the outside. It allowed him to have a fire in the room without choking, for it would have a place to escape through a natural smoke hole.

That is what he did. With an ember, he lit the tinder he prepared, blowing on it gently until the fire roared. He then dug into a small pouch that hung from his waist and drew out a small portion of incense. This he flung directly into the flames.

The fire roared high for a moment, then softened a big. As the strong scent of the drugging incense filled the room, Goov slid to the floor in a crosslegged position. With his goal in mind, he began to rock to an internal rhythm.

The incense and the rocking elevated his state of mind; Goov felt himself going into a trance. His rocking became more rhythmic as he felt a fog envelop his mind, taking him to a higher plain in order to enter a spirit realm.

Through the thick, smoky fog, he pictured the tall man that was born of two worlds, Clan and Others. He had the look of the Clan about him, and a certain sereness that all Clan men had, but he was very tall, the tallest Clan man Goov had ever seen. And his forehead rose high and vaulted. He had no trouble speaking, all signs of his mixed heritage.

The image of the man stood there, his Clan eyes staring straight into Goov's own mind, as if trying to tell him something.

Goov willed the spirit, if any, that protected the man to come forward and reveal himself, for to do so would help ensure this man's entry into his mother' s people would be sanctioned by the spirits.

At first, there was nothing. Only the tall image of Echozar continued to stand there, mute and unmoving, to stare at him. The look in his eyes did not waver, but Goov could see nothing else coming forward.

The moments passed; until Goov himself was about to give up and believe that this man had no animal spirit to guide him. Suddenly, just as he was about to let himself out of his trance, the image of Echozar dissolved.

Goov stopped. All around him was thick, choking fog, he could see nothing else. It was almost enough to make even him, the Mog-Ur, dizzy, until two distinct shadows loomed fuzzily out of the fog and into view.

One was an animal that would instinctively strike fear into any man, Others or no. It was an animal that was so rare it was only seen by few, as powerful and deadly as any Cave Lion. It was the elusive, cunning, and very deadly Dirk-toothed tiger. It was plodding along, huge fangs up to twelve inches long hanging from the front of his mouth like deadly, dangerous daggers--and that was their purpose, poised and ready to strike a death kill.

The other figure was Ursus himself. Goov was surprised, and deeply honored to see him here, and he could not help but wonder why.

He was even more surprised to see the dirk-toothed tiger turn and suddenly spring upon the bear, knocking Ursus backwards. But instead of lunging his head back to sink his fangs into the bear, the tiger began to playfully nuzzel him. The pair lay down and settled in contenteldy together.

Goov's mind raced at the scene. A Dirk-toothed tiger! He was sure no man'd had that particular totem in a long time, certainly nobody he had ever met. It was said to be the only totem that could equal the power of a Cave Lion in strength and hunting prowress. Once in a while, it was known, it was lucky enough to kill a cave bear--at least young or sick ones. But more often, if it tried, it got it's neck broken by a simple swipe of the bear's paw.

*But not always,* Goov reminded himself. *That means that the dirk-toothed tiger is the totem of the mixed man! It also means he has an outside chance of defeating Anya's totem, if Ursus allows him to. And he may be able to handle her; he's been mated before. The Cave Bear must represent Anya, the tranquil scene must mean that Echozar must join the Clan, he and Anya must join. I must tell Broud, and Brun."

****

"Then, by all means, tell Anya at once," urged Brun quietly. "The woman was not telling an untruth, was she now, Broud? Such a transaction was personally sanctioned by Ursus in Goov's vision. It must be heeded."

"We can tell her tonight," Broud commented, "But the ceremony to initiate him into the Clan will have to wait. Their Zelandonii-style joining is tomorrow evening, they would not be happy with us for breaking up a sacred rite."

****

"Aren't you as nervous as I am?" asked Echozar as he caught Anya from behind, whirling her around playfully, delighting in her giggles. "Tomorrow you and I will be mated, Anya--this man is the happiest man ever blessed of Doni."

Anya wiggled around in his grasp until she was turning to face him. She leaned up and planted a brief kiss on his lips to silence him. "I will be the happiest woman at the Matrimonial, too," she confessed. "And there is another reason you should be happy. It seems you have a totem, Echozar."

He stopped in surprise, and blinked in confusion. "What did you say?"

"I said, I have just been informed that you have a Clan totem guarding you." She locked her arms around his neck. "Echozar, don't lie to me, I know you have always wanted to explore your Clan blood, be numbered among them as you are numbered among the Lazandonii. After we are mated, you will also be numbered among the Zelandonii as my mate. But do you wish to be numbered among the Clan, too?"

"You are a Donii woman, to read my mind so easily," he confessed sadly, running his fingers over her beloved face, cherishing his gift of her. "But what you say is impossible. I am a bad-luck man of mixed spirits to them. They'd never want me counted among them. Durc was the lucky one there."

"What if I were to tell you they are willing?" she asked bluntly, feeling his arms around her tighten. She knew she had done the right thing, her only problem now would be making him see it that way.

"They are....what?" he repeated, dazed. "Are you joking, Anya?"

"No. Goov approached me just today," she confessed. "He has meditated on your spirit, has discovered you carry a Clan totem. He did not tell me what it was, but he did say that it was a powerful one. They wish you to join the Clan after our Matrimonial."

"How...why....so suddenly..." Echozar stumbled, trying to collect his scattered thoughts. "Why would they agree...."

Anya felt her face heat, and she lowred her eyes. "This woman asked Broud to do so, on behalf of her own wishes and on behalf of Ursus. I somehow knew that I had to, Echozar. Broud agreed, after prodding, to do it if it was revealed that you carried a Clan totem. That was whatGoov did, and he was uneasy when he came and told me the news."

Her lips trembled, and she looked at him with wide eyes. "Please don't be upset at me, Echozar. I was following the will of the spirits, I could not be mistaken. Don't let this harden you towards me. Please?"

He only smiled, his eyes misty as his arms slid all the way around her. "Anya," he sighed. "My beautiful, brave Donii-woman. I would never have thought even you had the courage to approach someone like Broud about something so.....un-clan. It's just not like them." He kissed her forehead. "How do you do it, Anya? What did I do to deserve someone like you?"

"I often ask myself the same of you," she countered with a soft smile, wrapping her arms around his neck in relief. "As old as I am, Echozar, I figured Doni's plan for me did not include a mate. I have known you all my life, but suddenly--I am seeing you in a whole new light, a light that I will not be able to live without. So..." she trailed off. "Are you going to do it? It will be after our Matrimonial, but after your acceptance ceremony, they want us to also be mated Clan-style--as much as they can considering my totem, anyway. With my totem of Ursus, it means you cannot dominate me."

"That is fine with me," he grinned. "Fourteen days in confinement with only my beautiful Donii-woman at my side. I hope they have space for our temporary confinement, though, because I have no plans on living with them permanently."

"Of course not. The hearth they will set aside will be temproary, though we will both be free to claim it if we chose. Any children born to our hearth will be considered legitimate for Clan adoption--though I am not so sure. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

Echozar smiled in wonderment at his beloved woman, extremely grateful to her for her thoughtfulness. For the rest of his days, he knew he would marvel at how he could come to be mated to such a person, not to mention he would be the envy of every other unmated Zelandonii male for having as his mate what had to be the most beautiful--and until now, elusive--woman of the Zelandonii.

And though she did not say it, he knew it was on her mind, a concern of his behaivor if he became Clan. She need not worry, he had no intention of treating her like his slave, or giving her the signal. The "signal" that he had observed--open pleasures in plain view when a man wanted to relieve himself, regarless of what a woman wished--was degrading to him. Although he knew the gesture was buried in his own subconscious, he would never use it. A woman had to come to him willingly, or he would not have her if she just lay there like some corpse. These women--they had no choice, none at all. And he was swift to reassure his intended that he would never dishoner her in such a fashion. She only smiled and said nothing, but he knew she was relieved--in a great way.

****

"But what can I *wear* to such an event as my own Matrimonial?" Anya wailed in frustration late that evening. "None of my own clothes are so fine! Not even the summer tunic I wore to the dance the day before the Root ceremony."

"It almost serves you right for being so hasty," Ayla chuckled. "Though it would be far more cruel to make Echozar wait another year in abject misery. No, not after what he's been through, and after how long I have been after you to take a mate. But don't worry, I have the perfect solution for you."

"What?"

Ayla smiled as she went to the corner and opened a special package Anya had almost never seen. "You can wear the same tunic I wore to my own Matrimonial to Jondalar. It survived all these years, and it would look wonderful on you."

Anya gaped at the pure white tunic decorated with white Ermine tails. The light yellow cast it now had was an accepted mark of the outfit's eighteen years fo age. It was still the most splendid outfit she had ever seen. "Momma! It would never fit me--I am shorter than you are."

"Oh, nonsense," Ayla brushed her daughter's concerns aside. "I can adjust it without ruining it. Now don't worry! You will be the most beautiful woman the Zelandonii have ever seen by the time you are ready, I promise."

****

Anya thought her heart was going to fly away. Her mother slipped the tunic over her head so it hung down to her knees. The pure white leggings were underneath, the ermine tails glistened brightly.

Out of nowhere, Ayla brought out a pure white, beaded headband. When Anya gaped at it, Ayla smiled mysteriously. "I made this three years ago," she confessed. "After I started urging you to consider mating somebody. I added more beads when your fourteenth year came along, I was hoping you would start considering a baby of your own. Now I am glad you are finally going to use it at *any* rate." She slipped the headband through Anya's hair, so it gleamed on her forehead. Ayla ran the brush through her hair one last time, then turned her around.

"There, you look perfect. A more beautiful woman has never gone to her mating. See for yourself." She led Anya to the shiny, reflective lava rock that Jondalar had paid a fortune for.

Ayla stared at her reflection. Not one accostomed to being vain, she had to admit, even to herself, she liked what she saw, for once. The pure whiteness of the outfit, and the headband, especially set off her golden, ringlet-curly hair and intense blue-violet eyes, and were a stark contrast to her well-tanned skin. Even her visible scars, the old gashings on her arm, and the newer one at the base of her throat did not mar the effect.

"We had better get going," said Ayla. "I can bet poor Echozar is going to faint from nervousness soon if you don't come out. And I still have yet to lecture you on your gall in approaching Broud yesterday. But--let's forget that for now, my girl is going to be mated at last."

****

Echozar could hardly believe it as the beautiful woman, the woman he was going to claim as his own, came to stand before him for the matrimonial ceremony. Zelandonii would be going from couple to couple, tying the cord and performing the ceremony.

In the meantime, his eyes devoured her, not only her blinding clothes--he had last seen that outfit at his matrimonial to Joplaya when Ayla had worn it to mate Jondalar--but her glowing smile and her radiant eyes that he was drowning in, the smiling violet depths that reflected his joy.

All he could think of was to reach out and grip her hands tightly with his, his only lifeline in surviving the drowning depths of her eyes. A filmy sheen covered his own, his emotions and joy were so intense. And he didn't care, all he cared about...was Anya.

There was a dull roar in his ears, shutting out every sound. All he was absorbing was the woman he planned to mate. He almost did not hear Zelandoni stop before them and announce their names to the waiting group.

"Echozar, blessed of Doni, of the First Cave of the Lazandonii, you have promised to take as your mate Anya, Blessed of Doni, guarded by the Cave Bear, daughter of Ayla of the Zelandonii and the Mamutoi, guarded by the Cave Lion mated to Jondalar, son of Marthona, brother to Joharran, leader of the Ninth Cave. Is this true?"

"Yes," Echozar whispered, for once not caring that he was being stared at. Anya's presence was too overwhelming to his senses.

"Anya, Blessed of Doni, guarded by the Cave Bear, Blessed of Ayla of the Mamutoi and Zelandonii, guarded by the Cave Lion, mated to Jondalar born of Marthona and brother to Joharran, leader of the Ninth Cave. You have agreed to take as your mate Echozar, blessed of Doni, of the First Cave of the Lazandonii, now to also be Echozar of the Ninth Cave of the Zelandonii. is this true?"

"Yes, it is true, with all my being." Anya knew she spoke for both herself and shy Echozar, and his Clan eyes glittered at her gratefully to prove it. Her radiant smile answered him.

A low thrumming sound could be heard, the breeze picked up to ruffle Anya's hair gently on the wind, adding to the hypnotic effect. Zelandoni chanted softly, asking Doni to bless this couple and asking for frutifulness on the part of Anya. Out of nowhere, she produced a long red thong.

"Do you, Echozar, accept Anya as your mate?" she asked, holding the sacred Matrimonial thong to his wrist.

"I accept this woman," he responded formally, but with all the sincerity and sense of completion he could muster. He smiled inadvertently as Zelandoni quickly bound his wrist with the red thong.

"And do you, Anya, accept Echozar as your mate?" Zelandoni asked, holding the other end of the thong to her wrist.

"I accept this man," she whispered, her heart floating away on a cloud. She could feel her stomach following it--she hoped the ptarmigan she had eaten eariler did not decide to grow feathers in her stomach and take off--it certainly felt like it!

Zelandoni graced her with a small smile as she bound Anya's wrist against Echozar's with the thong. An aide brought her a bowl of red ochre paste; she made a zigzag mark across both Anya's forehead and Echozar's, depicting their life paths symbolically becoming as one.

All the while, she had been chanting softly. Suddenly, she turned the pair towards the waiting crowd and grasped their joined hands, lifting them high.

"These two are now mated," she proclaimed with grave sincerity to the assembled throng.

A cheer went up, and hands clapped. Those of the Clan who had chosen to watch out of curiosity were nearly deafened by the noise, but they sensed the purpose of the smacking together of hands.

Echozar laughed aloud as he slid his unbound arm around Anya, swinging her around in one fluid movement.

"Oh, Anya, my Donii-woman," he whispered. "I am truly Blessed now. Thank you, my special Donii--thank you so much."

And he did not quite care when she pulled back enough to press her lips to his in front of everyone. Who was he to care, when he had for his mate the most perfect woman ever Blessed of Doni?

****

Ayla smiled in abject happiness--and relief--when Echozar and Anya disappeared into the Cave, to the newly-drawn Hearth that would be theirs. Echozar had, by the simple act of mating Anya, become a Zelandonii, due to her Those Who Served status. For it was true that, when one mated One Who Served, they not only joined with the person, they joined with their purpose.

Tears filled Ayla's eyes, though. Her secondborn was now a full woman in every sense--almost, she would be if she ever laid off the herbs enough to allow herself to be Blessed.

It also meant that she was fully gone from her Hearth. It reminded Ayla of her age; she rested her hands on her swelling abdomen. Soon, there would be another baby to occupy Anya's place in her mother's hearth--but never quite the same place in her heart. The baby would have his or her own place--but Anya's place in her parent's heart would be forever unique, as Durc's had been and still was.

****

For this first night, robes had been hung up arond the boundaries of the newly defined Hearth, to give the couple ample privacy. It was a custom Jondalar had brought back from the Mamutoi; although it had not quite caught on except for this purpose.

"Anya, my beautiful woman," Echozar murmured again as he kissed her. "We are beginning our new lives together, you know? Are you ready?"

"I am more than ready," she reminded him. "I am sixteen year old, definetly more than ready."

They planned to get as much privacy as possible for the next couple of days. Echozar needed to go on the official Clan hunt that would let him be declared fully a man, Broud had explained that, while he could sacntion a simple naming and totem ceremony, he could not sanction a joining until Echozar had made a 'first kill'. The only exception to the rules would have been if the man had been crippled and unable to hunt. It had happened to the powerful Mog-Ur One-Eye. He had been such a man, crippled--and although he could have, he had never mated.

However, that was not on his mind as he gathered her close, relishing the flowery scent of her hair and her sweet presence in general. She pulled back enough to smile lazily at him, her eyes content; the violet orbs reflecting his own feelings.

She began to burn in his senses too much, and, in a movement that would, eons later, be echoed with many a bride, he swept her off her feet into his arms and carried her into the inner sanctuary of their Hearth.

Their hearth. It had a perfect ring to it.

****

Although Anya greatly cherished the time she got to spend with Echozar alone, she was careful to keep taking the herbs her mother had taught her to use to prevent conception. Anya knew that, now that she would be regularly sharing Pleasures with Echozar, it increased her chances of getting Blessed....if her totem could ever be overcome. She did not know whether to quite believe her mother's unorthodox ideas about a man's essences, but to be on the safe side, if it was true, she did not want to take any chances until her mother had safely delivered the infant she carried. If Anya was going to end up being responsible for raising her own brother or sister, she did not want do do it burdened with a heavy body as well as a heavy heart if Ayla died. She did not know if she would be able to endure it.

Echozar was happier than he had been in many years, since Joplaya died. He would always love his first mate; she would always have a special place in his heart. But now, at last, his unhappiness had faded, and he truly felt he could face life again, and what it had to offer.

Jerika, his oldest child of his first Hearth, easily welcomed Anya with open arms. The girls had practically grown up together during the summers, they were close, and Anya was determined that her status as stepmother to a girl hardly younger than herself would not affect their relationship.

"You are spending a lot of time with Jaryn," she commented the morning after the Matrimonial when the women were lazing about in Anya's new Hearth. "Planning on him for a mate?"

"I don't know," Jerkia admitted. "I like him, I might even love him. I just...when I think about it, I feel so shy. But perhaps I would want to soon." Jerika blushed, and Ayna frowned.

"Has the Mother blessed you this summer, Jerika?" she asked with soft bluntness.

"I am not sure completely yet....but how did you know?" asked Jerika in surprise.

"For one thing, you have not complained about your Moon time this cycle, and for another, I have noticed your nausea. Have you missed any other moon cycles?"

"No, this is the first one I've missed."

"If you are already getting nausea then, then it means that you might have been Blessed right after your last cycle ended. Congratulations, Jerkia. Once word gets out that you are expecting, every avalible man will be crowding around the Hearth seeking your hand for the Matrimonial. There is going to be one more Group matrimonial this summer, for the other late couples who decided to at the last minute."

Jerika shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe....or I might wait until after the baby's born, if I am truly Blessed."

"Are you happy, Jerika?" asked Anya pointedly.

"Oh, yes," she said, her eyes brightening. "I love children. I wonder if they will have any Clan features, though? I am only one part Clan to three parts Lazandonii, yet I have the memories. Will my baby have them, too?"

"I don't know, Jerika," answered Anya honestly. "I have never known anyone with so much diluted Clan blood as your child will have. It may not even show, or the characteristics that skipped your appearance may appear in your child. It happens."

"Your child?" asked Echozar, coming into the Hearth boundaries. "What are you talking about, Jerika?"

"I think I am Blessed of Doni, Echozar," she answered the father of her hearth and her spirit. "Anya tends to agree."

"You are?" he paused, then smiled. "That is wonderful news, your mother would have been happy that you are Blessed. And once word gets out, you will have plenty of offers for joinings, Jerika. Especially that...Jaryn, I believe his name is. He's a fine fellow, and he seems taken with you."

Jerika nodded slowly. "I have sensed it might be him. Maybe, Echozar. But I don't know if I should mate him this summer--he has asked already, I would not give him an answer yet--or wait until next summer after my baby is born. I hope the baby is of his spirit, he would like that."

"It should be enough that the mother saw fit to bless you," Anya commented. "You are proving your ability for motherhood with this baby, it will definetly increase your desireability."

"Whatever I decide, I think he will agree," Jerika mused. "I think I will be happy with him. Next it will be Ivan's turn."

"Your brother's only thirteen," answered Anya with a chuckle. "His Donii-woman only started visiting him last year, so he says. It will be a couple of years more before he starts considering a mate."

"I hope *you* get Blessed, Anya," countered Jerika with a smile. "It's high time you did, proved your motherhood."

"I don't want Doni to bless me until I am certain Mother is out of danger from her baby's birth," Anya answered patiently. "When I am sure she and the baby are okay, then I will *beg* Doni to bless me, I promise.....if Ursus is willing to allow himself to be overcome, for my sake. I am afraid that because of my powerful totem, it won't happen."

**** Anya shivered, not with cold, but with anxiety as she stared towards the eastern steppes where the Clan had taken Echozar hunting, the hunt that would prove his manhood that would help allow his acceptance into the Clan.

Closing her eyes for the hundreth time, she prayed to Doni and Ursus to guide Echozar's hands. How badly she wanted him to prove himself for the Clan, so he could seek acceptance to the other side of him he had always been mostly forced to deny.

If it was successful, he would be initiated into the Clan without further restrictions, based upon Goov's revalations. However, to more formally sanction it, Goov wanted to perform the Clan-style joining ceremony afterwards...what traditionally could be done. Anya was under the inpression that, because of her totem, he could not have Echozar's totem, no matter what it was, dominate hers in any way, female or no. She did not know exactly how he would go around the problem, but surely Goov would find a way that would not go against Clan tradtions--they had been strained enough this season as it was.

Since she wanted so badly for Echozar to have the approval of the clan, she called upon Ursus repeatedly, begging her totem to watch over him. Although she was a Zelandoni, she lacked a Clan Mog-Ur's training, and she could only use the most basic of everyday Clan gestures to ask the spirits for help, in Clan tradition.

Asking Doni was easier language-wise, but no less difficult. She knew ways of direct communication with Doni, but it was still stressful. What Anya feared was her totem's being so powerful, those endowed with such spirits faced hard, difficult lives with many tests. She did not want Echozar to succeed, only to have to pay with his life or his body.

A small whimper sounded from inside her summer tunic, and she hushed the baby wolf that was tucked in between the covering and her tunic. The Clan had been gone on this hunting party for two days; right after they had left, she had found a female wolf dead for unknown reasons. She had been lactating, and Ayla had mentioned she might have a late pup brood--it was a little late in the season to have tiny, unweaned pups, but not impossible.

They had searched, and Anya had found this one wolf puppy, eyes barely open. It had been abandoned after it's mother died, for reasons unknown to both women.

Anya had remembered, in her younger days, Wolf, the wolf puppy that had accompanied her parents across a whole land to the Zelandonii, he had died when she was thirteen. She had not forgotten him, and she had plans to raise this one as her own.

*Echozar will be surprised at this new addition to our Hearth,* she amused. *It isn't quite the baby he wants right away, but it is better than nothing.*

When, and if, she had to mate with Echozar again Clan style, and endure the isolation with him, she was going to bring the puppy along. She did not care if it was not the Clan way, or if Broud would have a conniption. She just hoped he would accept her explanation on how she planned to raise him.

****

At last, shadows darkened the horizon, and she strained to see who it was.

Heading the group of approaching Clan was Broud, and Echozar. Echozar's being permitted to walk with Broud upon the return of the hunting expedition told Anya one thing for certain, more than Echozar's twinkling eyes when they saw her: It had been successful.

The women following behind the other hunters were laden with the evidence of a large kill, it was taking two women apiece to carry large antlers.She saw Goov walking along carrying the hide of a hunter's first kill: She recognized a Megaceros easily.

*Megaceros,* she thought. That must have been difficult. The large animals, especially the males with antlers fourteen feet wide, were dangerous opponents to a man with a primitive jabbing-spear. It was all too easy to get skewered by the swinging horns. And yet, nobody appeared hurt. It had been an extremely lucky hunt, indeed.

Echozar sensed she had been watching and waiting for him, some inner whisper made him look up and see the beautiful woman standing on the ridge, watching them, her violet eyes heady with pride and love. Breaking out of the Clan stotcism he had adopted for the hunt, he looked back directly at her and smiled.

She lifted her hand and waved once before turning and running off; he rightly figured she was skittering down the cliff to meet the hunting party to greet him, Un-Clan gesture or no.

It was confirmed when she broke out of the cliff wall and came towards them on her horse, Star. He saw the Clan blink and pause, but continue walking. Slowly but surely, they were getting used to the creatures the Others kept in their midst.

Echozar strode ahead, and Anya leaped carefully off her horse and reached for him without further thought. He hugged her fiercely, and she responded with abandon, only careful that he did not crush her or the bundle she wanted to show him.

He noticed her care and pulled back, eyes questioning her. She smiled and showed him the little bundle that had been hiding in her cloak.

His eyes went soft; he remembered Wolf all too well.

"A wolf puppy," he mused ruefully. "You had to adopt a wolf puppy."

"I could not just let him die, and neither could Ayla. I want to raise him."

"I remember Wolf," he chuckled. "But how are we going to spend fourteen days in isolation with a wolf puppy-pet? He's a carnivore, might one day steal meat from the Clan. Broud won't have it."

"So the Megaceros *is* you kill?" she almost squealed, her eyes misting over as he nodded. "Echozar, that's *wonderful*. It certfies that you will be accepted into the Clan as a worthy member!"

"Yes, thanks to you, my Donii-woman," he murmured, hugging her again, his own eyes bright. "The ceremony will be tomorrow, with the Megaceros as the supplier to the feast. We'll find a way to reassure Broud of the wolf-puppy--by the way, is it male or female?"

"She's a girl-pup," Anya replied, feeling the little head lift and lick her cheek contendedly. "A strong, healthy pup. See that strange, round yellow mark on her forehead? I found her during the full moon, she shall be called Luna."

****

"A wolf puppy?" Broud was a little more than incredulous. "Anya, Brun refused your mother nursing a wolf-puppy back to health. He made her take it away. They're carnivores, steal our food--and you want to *raise* one? I don't want to allow a wolf into my cave."

"He is a puppy, Broud," she explained patiently. "Mother did raise a wolf puppy later, when she was living with the Mamutoi. He was named Wolf, and followed them all the way to the Zelandonii. I remember Wolf; he was the kindest animal I have ever known. He knew not to bite or hurt people, the children loved him. He died a few years ago, and I missed him. I can train this puppy the way I trained Star. I will see to it he never steals your kills or hurts the Clan in any way."

"He will be a competitor," Broud gestured, still uneasy at the prospect. "If he is killing all the game around, how will we hunt?"

"Wolf was fed, for the most part, by Ayla," answered Anya. "Occassionally, he would go out and hunt some other small game that only a lone wolf would be able to kill, since he didn't have a pack to help him. I doubt if this puppy will make much impact on the surrounding forests. And other wolves *do* live in this area, yet the hunting is not depleted, is it?"

Broud did have to admit she was right. "Echozar killed the Megaceros single-handedly; he will be adopted into the Clan," he signed, "But after you two are also mated according to Clan ritual, how can we allow a wolf into your Hearth boundaries for your period of isolation? His spirit might contminate the ceremony."

"If Ursus had been displeased about my picking up the wolf puppy, I think he would have told me by now," Anya responded evenly. "If I do do something wrong, my totem is usually prompt in letting me know. I believe that he sanctions this decision."

Again Broud had to back down at her proclomation of Ursus. He knew she was not lying, or taking advantage of his people's position with the Cave Bear. If she truly felt that it was right in raising this wolf puppy, then she would not butter it up with mention of Ursus just to get him to agree; he would have known it at once. Her concern was genuine, and her sincerity real; forcing him to agree.

"Spirits are not angered by kindness, Broud," she gestured, her eyes boring holes into his. "It makes them happy to know someone cares about their physical brethren. I will also make a vow that, if this puppy in any way harms the Clan or the Zelandonii; bites or anything else, I, Anya of the Clan and the Zelandonii, will personally kill him myself."

****

Anya stood next to Echozar, dressed, once again, Clan-style in a fur wrap. Ebra was on his other side, her hand on his shoulder, her head bowed in submission. Echozar, with his Clan blood and his manhood proven, was being adopted into the Hearth of the former leader, Brun, as Ebra's son. His status had to be this high, or he would never have been allowed to mate Anya in a Clan ceremony, with her own high status and powerful totem.

"Echozar. The man's name is Echozar." The stotic Goov carefully painted a line of red ochre down Echozar's forehead, down his nose, to signify his naming that would accept him as a full Clan member.

It took Echozar everything he had to contain his pride; he stood tall as everyone filed past, murmuring his difficult-sounding name to get used to it, his features properly stotic as benefitting a Clan man.

"Echozar," it was said in a careful fashion by Broud himself. He was surprised at himself, since the first time he saw the man, his opinion of him had completely reversed, and his respect of the man of mixed spirits was solidified.

"Echozar," Ebra repeated, and Brun. They were proud to have such a fine son adopted to their Hearth, although he would be gone right afterwards with his Clan mating to Anya.

"Echozar." It was said with love and pride. Echozar looked up to see Anya's smiling eyes staring into his, even as she forced herself to not smile in deference to Clan tradition. The look was enough to convey what she felt, and he could not be happier than he was at this moment, being accepted, at last, into the side of his heritage he had always been forced to deny.

"Echozar." It was guarded, but not unwelcoming. Durc filed past, studying him critically. He was, after all, being mated to Durc's sibling, and although Durc had no say in the matter, all male siblings had to feel protective towards their female siblings until some other man mated them.

Besides, Durc was mixed, like Echozar; he did have empathy on what it was like to be different; and somehow, he sensed that Anya had picked a fine man to mate.

Goov stepped forward again, wearing the Cave Bear cloak that made him seem incredibly powerful, and unstoppable, almost as much as Mog-Ur One-Eye had done years before. He made a gesture, and obediently, Echozar bared his right thigh as Anya held her breath in anticipation.

Goov raised his knife, and Anya saw it flash for an instant. Echozar made no sign of pain at the two gashes that were carved into his thigh in the form of two crescent-shaped, slashing daggers, nor did he take any notice of the blood that streamed down from the wounds.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ebra flush with pride, although Anya did not recognize the symbol. Ebra calmly lifted the new amulet she had made, handing it to Mog-Ur as Anya watched it all with a puzzled interest.

"Spirit of Dirk-toothed tiger, the man, Echozar, is delivered into your protection." Without further preamble, Mog-Ur slipped the bag with the red ochre in it over Echozar's head.

Anya felt a chill of icy recognition run down her spine as her eyes widened in shock. Dirk-toothed tiger! Her dream! The one of the dirked-tooth tiger walking along beside Ursus as if he were there to stay! This is what it had to have meant! Her decision to mate Echozar was indeed the right one! This time, she could not stop the smile from creeping into her lips; she was too happy to care. And she felt the totem was appropriate; Echozar was as rare and important to her as the Dirk-toothed tiger was to man in general.

Hands flew in surprised, approving comment on the man's totem. The only other animal to possibly equal that of the Cave Lion, it was an appropriate totem to have one mated to a woman with Ursus guarding her. There were stories of a dirk-toothed tiger occassionally killing a cave bear, perhaps Anya had a chance after all of getting pregnant.

Echozar's own Clan eyes were wide with surprise, it was a totem he never thought of himself having. He knew he was not a tough, stotic Clan male in the sense of the rest, he had grown up among the Others. He was shy, quiet. How could he have such a fierce totem? He ignored the sting of the applied antiseptic as he considered it.

Anya, too, understood the implications. Perhaps it was Doni and Ursus's way of telling her that someday, she would become pregnant. If his totem battled hers, or mixed with hers, something so potent *could* cause her to be blessed after all. There was hope!

Goov walked away, chanting a simple monotone as he confirmed Echozar's new status. Anya simply turned, her eyes meeting Echozar's, and he was grateful for the happiness and pride in her eyes. Somehow, he was sure he heard her thinking that this had all, indeed, been by far worth it.

Their joining would come after the manhood feast that had been prepared in Echozar's honor. Because right after the ceremony was complete, they would have to go directly to the temporary hearth outlined further back in the cave and stay there for fourteen days, where they would be basically unseen by the rest of the Clan for the period of time.

While everyone was feasting on the tender Megaceros meat, the animal having been fat from preparing for winter, a low rumble was heard. Heads turned towards the mouth of the Cave, where a large bear came rumbling into view. It was the largest ever seen by the Clan, and strangest of all, it had a red foot.

It paused from it's hunting for food to happily sniff the air. He did not get completely to the cave mouth because Anya was running outside to greet her friend before she could think to do otherwise.

She greeted him with friendly hugs and scratches as well as spoken word and Clan sign language, and he seemed to enjoy her attention. The women and men who had not gone on that first hunt had never seen the bear before, and although Clanspeople could not lie, the tale they had told had sounded so unreal and farfetched, part of the spirit world.

Now, there was no doubt left in even the women as to Anya's powerful totem. Making the Clan gesture for "get down," to Ursus, which he obeyed,Anya climbed on the back of her friend and rode him away from the Cave entrance, ignoring the murmures of surprise, awe, and reverence that showed their appreciation of the sign of Ursus himself sanctioning this acceptance ceremony with his own presence.

"You'll have to come back, after my period of isolation," Anya murmured to the bear as she slid off his back. "Your dye is wearing off. I need to put on more, so others know not to hunt or kill you for any reason."

She gave the bear a friendly scratch before returning to the cave and resuming her place as if nothing strange had happened. She ignored the Clan's staring at her, although she accepted the quiet pride in Echozar's glance, and sensed the last of doubt about the whole affair leave both Broud and Durc. Their trust in Echozar and the presence of the wolf puppy had dramatically solidified.

Finally, the Clan realized their bad manners by staring, and looked off, making gestures of apology for the visual intrusion. Goov broke the uncomfortable, awed silence by rising again.

"The spirits have spoken; Ursus himself sanctioned this ceremony. Anya, Echozar, it is time."

Obediently, both rose and stood before the Holy Man, wondering how he had gotten around the traditional setting in order to accomodate Anya's totem.

Chanting a monotone, Goov exposed Echozar's thigh again. The bleeding from the wounds had long since stopped, and the fresh scars gave testimony to his totem's hold on him.

Goov used yellow ochre to paint over the forming scars on Echozar's leg, but instead of painging Anya's totemeic mark over Echozar's, he painted the three slashes reperesenting Ursus *alongside* Echozar's mark.

With red ochre, Goov, slowly and deliberately, made one simple slash through both marks.

"Echozar, spirit of Dirk-toothed tiger, your spirit has joined with Anya, spirit of Ursus."

Anya, though surprised, thought she understood. No spirit could dominate Ursus, what Goov was doing was symbolically unifying them; a gesture meant they were to work together as equals throughout this mating.

Goov motioned for Anya to remain standing as he gestured, "Echozar, do you accept this woman as your mate?"

Echozar, not able to tap Anya on the shoulder because she was not in the position of request, nodded instead, signing, "This man accepts this woman as his mate."

"Anya, do you, and the spirit of Ursus, accept this man?"

Hands flew in shocked surprise; a woman of the Clan was never asked if she accepted her mate--she never had any choice in the matter. But since Anya's totem dominated Echozar's, she also had to be satisfied, lest her totem seek vengence on the Clan.

"This woman accepts Echozar as her mate." Anya signed the words formally, head held high. She and Echozar turned and walked side by side to the temporary hearth boundaries that would be their home for the next fourteen days. During the time, they were to sleep seperately, and nobody was to go beyond the boundaries for any reason. They would not exist to the rest of the Clan until the period of time was up.

It was done, as simple as that, Anya mused.The wolf puppy was there, waiting, and yipped happily as Anya entered. She sensed Clan eyes turn away, and did not feel the expected pang; after all, this was not a death-curse or a moontime curse. They did exist, they were just not acknowledged.

Privately, Anya and Echozar welcomed the isolation. They had each other; and since eyes were not seeing them, they had a level of privacy. The term "sleeping together" was spiritual, the Clan, like the Zelandonii, had no connection between coupling and babies. Sex was unrestrained, they just could not share the same sleeping furs at night.

Anya drifted into Echozar's arms that night before they retired; she was grateful it was over, and everything had turned out for them both beyond her wildest expectataions. She had never been so happy or fulfilled.

Neither had Echozar. He loved this bold, beautiful woman he had mated--if it hadn't been for her, he would never have been accepted--just tolerated because he lived among the Others. She dared so much, just for him, and it made his heart ache with love for her.

They both smiled when they felt the she-pup, Luna, licking at their ankles impatiently. In a way, mused Echozar, she was the first little one at their Hearth.

Even though she was a wolf, it sitll was a somewhat satisfying feeling.

****

Anya knew the Summer Meeting would be almost over by the time she and Echozar got out of isloation. They at least had each other to talk to, though they refrained from using spoken language while inhabiting the cave of the Clan, out of respect of custom. Chattering like animals when nobody else could understand them was impolite.

Both individuals worked on training the tiny puppy. Luna was a gentle, but mischevious little girl, and she loved to play. Anya had to work to fix extra fine, soft food for the puppy to eat; the baby should not have been weaned so soon, but it was necessary. She taught the puppy to only go in the designated basket, much to the Clan's astonisment. It confirmed that, if the Clan was pretending they did not exist, they surely were still *somewhat* aware, especially when Anya saw, out of the corner of her eye, the gossiping women.

They also worked on weapons, tanned hides, cooked, and just stayed together. Anya did not feel too restless; after all, she was spending more time with Echozar during the weeks after her mating than she ever dreamed possible. And the puppy was a wonderful, loving little bundle of welcome distractions.

Even this young, playful as she was, Anya was determined to instill in her the concept of obedience. She wanted to make sure this puppy made no trouble for the Clan by stealing the food of others, attacking people, or wreaking their property in a playful or vengeful mood. She had no doubt that Brun or Broud, especially, would not hesistate to kill the little animal if she crossed certain lines, even in innocent playfulness.

Vaguely, Anya remembered the 'wolf repellent' that her mother had used with Wolf, to train him not to chew the leather that belong to other people, and she decided to experiment a little upon it, to see if she could make something that did not smell so bad to people but a wolf pup would find incredibly odius.

She started by thoughtfully digging into her medicine bag to find the horseradish she kept there. It was extremely powerful-smelling, even when dried the way Ayla had taught her. Even Anya's eyes teared a bit when she opened the pouch to stare at the contents.

"Must you?" asked Echozar, keeping his distance on the other side of the hearth. "That stuff is powerful."

"Maybe I could dilute it," she mused thoughtfully. "So it will still smell offensive to Luna without keeping us away, too. Wolves have a very keen sense of smell, it will definetly be obvious to her."

Anya experimented with diluting the stuff with things such as chamomile, cherry bark, rose hips, and even soaproot. She did not have that much horseradish in her pack to experiment on, she dug into her supplies of onion-plants, too.

Even though she used as small of quantities as possible as to not offend other people, it did not always work, and derisive glances at her from the otherwise-ignoring Clan proved it. Echozar stayed in a corner of the hearth away from her until the air cleared to try again.

"Is it really worth it?" he begged as he saw her preparing yet another batch. The air had just cleared.

Anya looked up and smiled at him. "Must you ask?"

Even as she signed it, Luna was whimpering and poking Echozar's toes with her cold little nose, and it was impossible to resist picking up the little imp and cuddling her.

"I guess that answers my question," he mused as the little creature happily licked his face.

Anya could not quite stifle a chuckle as she lowered her head again over her work. Yes, it was all worth it.

****

At last, Anya succeeded in producing a powder with very little offensive smell, but which Luna seemed to hate. Anya did not hesistate in spreading the stuff on many of their leather belongings, and the wooden spears, baskets, whatever the puppy might be tempted to chew on. It was astonishing how quickly Luna got the idea.

"But she should have some things to play with," she gestured to Echozar as they observed Luna quickly getting the picture about chewing things that were not hers. "She is a wolf, after all, and needs to indulge in her instincts. It would not be good for her otherwise. Besides, I plan to have her help me hunt when she is older. Wolf helped Mother, remember?"

Echozar fashioned some lengths of leather tied in knots out of leather scraps, this he and Anya gave to the puppy to chew on, to play with, and wrestle with as if they were imaginary prey. More than once, Anya fell on her side with gasping laughter at the puppy's antics; and she was not unaware of the subtle humor in the eyes of the Clan who were not immune to seeing such cute, if unusual, behaivor in a wolf. She even heard Durc stifle a chuckle.

After some days, the puppy started to sniff around the Hearth boundaries; Anya decided it would do no harm to let the puppy out and about. The Clan would get used to seeing Luna follow her; this was a good way to start their real acceptance of the girl-pup.

One of the first real encounters the children had with the wolf kind was when the boys had fashioned a ball of leather and were throwing it to each other, kicking it, and experimenting with it. Anya guessed they had picked it up from watching the Zelandonii children play with leather balls, and although it was un-clan-like, she figured Brun and Broud saw no harm in a simple children's toy. Children were less restrained than adults and a little more open to new ideas, since it had not been completely drilled into them yet total, unswerving acceptance of the ancient Clan way. Playing with something so simple as a leather ball even had the benefit of increasing hand-eye coordination among the boys, a necessary skill they would need to become hunters.

They stopped and stared, though, when the puppy came and sat down, watching them. There was a moment of silence, then the boys just shrugged and went on throwing the ball to each other.

Grun, however, threw it a little too hard, and Brug missed it. He was going to run after it, but he stopped in surprise when a little fur bundle rushed past him and retrieved the ball before he could even start running.

Luna came prancing up, leather ball in her mouth. She scampered over to Grun's feet and dropped the ball there, looking up at him and wagging her small rear expectantly, then gave an impatient little yelp when he did not move.

The surprise on his face was obvious as he bent down and retrieved the ball. He was tempted to back off, it was not the Clan way. But his desire, for once, was enough to override his memories, and he flung the ball again to see what would happen.

Again Luna dashed off; back within seconds with the ball. A new game had been born for the Clan boys.

Almost all other activity had stopped for the Clan as they watched this astonishing episode. They had never seen a wolf, or any other animal, so obedient, and gentle. It was against their memories, and a little fearsome, but nobody seemed hurt, and Ursus had sanctioned it, after all.

****

After that, they were more tolerant of the wolf puppy in their midst. The children, even the girls, grew to love playing with him, and Anya was right; the puppy did not hurt the children or seem to mind a bit rough-and-tumble play--even learning the difference between an accidental overzealous squeeze and a purposeful tug on the tail. The first she tolerated patiently, the second she reprimanded with a gentle nip that did not break the skin, but showed she could. The gesture was clearly understood, and the children ceased such treatment after a few episodes of this.

****

Even though the isloation period Anya and Echozar were forced to endure for the sake of Clan tradition was not completely dull in the long run, Anya was incredibly anxious and impatient near the end. She was not used to being confined and the thought of tanning any more hides, making more weapons, or doing other monotone things made her feel sick after doing it repeatedly.

Finally, though, their isolation period came to an end. In her sleeping pallet next to Echozar's, Anya came awake just as the other Clan members, especially the women, started to stir. She did not need to ask Goov to know this was the day her isolation ended, she just knew.

She got up and reached for her wrap. For fourteen days, she had been dressing in the manner of the Clan; privately, she would be glad to get back into a regular summer tunic. She also looked forwards to having the others, Clan or no, to seeing and talking to her again.

Echozar also stifled a yawn as he rose; Anya knew his thoughts were echoing hers considerably. A wonderful discovery they had made since their mating was that the other could often sense their partner's thoughts, anticipate their needs, and could revel in the feeling that it was all acknowledge, reciprocated, and appreciated. These were all the marks of true companionship and love, and Anya was grateful they were present in such abundance, her bond with Echozar was so strong.

No sooner had she and Echozar risen and eaten their morning meal than they saw Goov get up and the other men file to the private niche in the cave walls where he did his secret ceremonies.

Goov headed in their direction, Anya supposed Echozar was going to go with them to do the secret ritual that would formally be the last seal on their mating. She did not really expect to go along, she was a woman. Brun had said that she would be permitted to view their ceremonies because of her powerful totem and her standing as honorary male, but she had not yet had opprotunity to do so and she did not really think about it.

So she was a bit surprised when Goov motioned not only to Echozar, but her as well.

She swallowed, and stood as he made a quick question.

"Are you suffering your woman's curse?"

Even a woman suffering her 'woman's curse' during her joining isolation could not go with the other females into isolation, she had to remain with her mate. Anya had no way of knowing that because of this, it was part of the secret ceremony for the man--purification reasons.

Anya made a gesture in the negative. It was not her time yet.

"Good. Follow me." Goov turned without another word and started off towards the private niche. Anya and Echozar glanced at each other in puzzlement; they both shrugged and followed him.

Anya still stifled a feeling of self-consciousness when she knelt down with the rest of the men. She almost blushed when Goov again asked, with bluntness.

"Did you suffer the woman's curse during your isolation?"

Again Anya shook her head.

Goov grunted, knowing then that the purification rites could be skipped. He gestured for Echozar to bare his thigh again, for Anya to bare her arm. He reached for the yellow Ochre and drew the Cave Bear symbol over Echozar's scars; and the Dirk-toothed tiger symbol over Anya's natural Cave Bear scars on her arm.

He then stopped and held up his hand for attention.

"Before I did the mating ceremony for Anya and Echozar, I did some extensive searching of our memories," he gestured. "I had to find a way for a woman with Ursus to guide her to be mated with a man whose totem is not allowed to dominate Ursus, and yet would still be the Clan way. It took some difficult searching, but I discovered something that has not been recealled since the most ancient days of Clan."

He stood up tall and imposing. "Most of you do know that, in the earliest times of Clan, Clan women hunted. Now, with the exception of two, it is forbidden them. But during those ancient times, when living was more difficult, women had to hunt to help provide the family with food. As such, their totems were also of powerful, male origin." He stopped for dramatic effect before continuing. "At rare times, it included the totem of Ursus."

The men gasped, it was unheard-of. But a moment later, Anya noticed their eyes cloud, even Echozar's, as some ancient memory was recalled from the very depths of their souls. Goov obviously told the truth.

"As time went on, women no longer hunted, and the need for them to have hunting totems was forgotten." Goov went on. "But because it had happened, it was in the memories of how to deal with a mating when the female had Ursus to guide her. Anya, Echozar, the ceremony I performed with you was one of the most ancient of origins; what I did just now with the yellow Ochre, symbolizing your partnership, is also with the most ancient of roots. Your union is one meant for working together, since, Anya, your totem and therefore you cannot be dominated like some common Clan woman. And the Dirk-toothed tiger has been known, on ocassion, to kill a Cave Bear, so if your totems battle, you might be defeated, who knows? It is also known from the memories that even women with Ursus for a totem had children, but their mates had to have the most powerful of totems and be high-status, or a mating would not be allowed."

Anya thought she understood. She remembered, suddenly, a vision she had during the root ceremony that had almost taken her life. She had been alive with Clan memories, and other memories deeply hidden within her, memories she, as a woman of the Others, had no ability to recall now, since they were forever locked from her. Long eons of forebrain evoloution had made the need for memories obselete...except in cases of extreme stress, when instinct and impulses--memory remenants.

She also recalled that the only time in an Other person's life they had any chance of recalling the ancient memories was in babyhood, when a baby relied on instinct to survive. When it grew big enough to manipulate their world, and lost this dependence, their minds closed pretty much forever on that one narrow door to the past.

So Anya knew now that what the men were remembering now were memories closed to her, never to be breached unless a root cermony reopened the door for a few precious minutes. The possibility of death was a high price to pay for exploration of the past; but now more than ever, she realized that it had all been worth it to discover who she was.

**** That afternoon, Anya and Echozar returned to the Ninth Cave. Ayla welcomed them happily, glad it had all worked out so well. She wanted to know how things went, Anya debated with herself on telling her mother of a man's sacred ceremonies. A sudden flash of Ursus and Doni filled her mind, she recalled the feather held securely in her amulet. It helped her decision.

In private, she told her mother all that had happened, and swore her to secrecy on mentioning it to anyone else. Ayla's eyes widened, but she agreed, and laughed when Anya recalled the antics of little Luna. The puppy was nearby, scampering about with one of her leather chew-toys.

"I cannot believe you have trained her so quickly," Ayla commented. "She acts better than Wolf did at that age in the Mammoth Lodge. Even grouchy Frebec took to him."

"My modified wolf repellent did the trick quickly enough," Anya laughed. "And the children loved playing with her, and I think she will be a frequent visitor to the Clan cave."

"Brun would not even allow me to heal a wolf puppy once," Ayla mused. "And yet, Broud allowed you to sweet-talk him into Luna. Anya, child, you are amazing."

Anya doubled over with laughter this time, falling on her side to the ground as Luna came scampering up and licking her face happily.

****

Anya and Echozar returned in time for another event. The second wave of Matrimonials that year included the one for Jerika and Josyn. Jerika was indeed Blessed, and once word had gotten out, many boys had pestered her for a Matrimonial; but Josyn had been the most persistent. He had wore Jerika down, and she looked perfectly radiant at her Matrimonial, the shining look in her eyes saying knowingly she had made the right decision.

Because Echozar was the father of her Hearth and her spirit, Jerika had recieved an extension offer of Clan adoption, but she had politely declined, even when Goov mentioned she had the Siaga antelope for a totem.

"I don't want to," she had told Anya. "I don't have any wish to be under the subjecation of their women. And I don't have an extra-fancy totem like you do, Anya. They would try to make me obey like a 'good Clan woman' because Clan blood runs in my veins. I might have the women's memories; I *don't* have their docility."

Anya could not quite blame her.

The other couple settled into the Ninth Cave even as the Summer Meeting dispersed for the year. Jerika's brother Ivan was going back to the Lazandonii to continue his training as a flint-knapper and spearmaker, although he would return next year, he promised. He, too, had declined to join the Clan and be numbered among them, memories or no.

He did, however, know his totem now; the Ibex. He was proud of it, he had to be sure-footed--and handed--for the work he did.

Time began to move swiftly now, as summer began to fade and the bountifulness of Autumn was upon them. As Ayla grew in girth, Anya refused to let her mother risk herself by making long, lonesome trips to scour the cliffs and forests for plants, unless she knew what she wanted and would be back quickly.

Anya helped her mother keep her supply of herbs stocked, as well as her own. Zelandoni often joined her, the two friends, despite the considerable difference in their ages, enjoying the companionship as Anya taught her more herbal lore, and Zelandoni taught her more about spiritual magic.

"You have much more power and knowledge than I ever thought possible for a woman to have, you and your mother, child," Zelandoni mentioned one day as she helped Anya strip cherry bark for a winter tonic. "I also happen to know that you know herbal magic that is dangerous if revealed to the wrong source, no?"

Anya blushed, but she could not lie. She evaded Zelandoni's eyes and continued to strip the bark without a word.

"I am not saying that you have to tell me, Anya," the woman quickl y amended. "For example, the root preperation? It is just as well only you and Ayla know the secret. Too many would be tempted to misuse it, and the results would be fatal."

Anya considered. Would revealing something like how to prevent pregnancy be so dangerous? Interfering with the mother's Blessing was highly frowned upon, and Anya would never consider telling a man, but if a woman needed to have the herbs to save her life, if pregnancy could kill her--would it be so terrible to let the First know?

"There are some things, besides the roots," she said at last. "I am not sure I should tell you. It's a Clan medicine woman's secret; if the wrong people found out, the use of it could be forbidden, even when necessary. Perhaps the Mother would even frown on it, especially since you are the First."

"I would swear on Doni's honor not to tell or condemn you," Zelandoni answered. Anya knew it was the highest oath a person could make, to break such an oath meant their spirits would be stolen in the afterlife, never to meet with their loved ones again.

Anya considered. Zelandoni was her friend, but she feared even this could make her cringe.

"Some women should not become Blessed, because pregancy could kill them," she began. "And there is no known way for it to be helped, or prevent the Mother's Blessing from starting, right?"

Zelandoni nodded.

Anya swallowed. "What if I told you it was possible?"

Zelandoni blinked, then looked so shocked Anya felt about a hand high. "What are you saying, child?" she whispered in near-terror.

"There are ways to prevent a baby from taking hold in a woman's body," Anya confessed. "Mother has used it for years, I have used it since I became a woman. We are the only ones who know--Jondalar knows, too, but only because Mother chose to tell him as a reason why she did not become blessed again after I was born."

Zelandoni was ghostly white; Anya was afraid she would faint.

"You would....dare to tamper with forces like that?" she gasped, low. "Anya...."

"The Clan medicine women have used it for countless eons to help women whom it would be dangerous to have babies," Anya went on quickly. "And Mother and I have used it for a long time without ill effect; no doubt it is the reason why I am not blessed as yet. I don't want to be until after Mother's baby is born and I see that she will survive I don't want to raise two infants at once."

Zelandoni began to recover from her shock. "Then...why is she blessed now, if she was taking the herbs?"

Anya sighed. "Sometimes, it is thought their effectiveness wears off after many years of use, but in Mother's case, it is because she wanted to try again, finally, to get over her fear of dying and try again for another baby. Do not confront her on it, Zelandoni, I beg of you. I think it is another gift from the Mother, myself, if they are used wisely to save lives. But you did promise on Doni's spirit not to tell. I think a medicine woman should know; but no man except Jondalar has ever found out. They should not be allowed."

Zelandoni nodded thoughtfully. "What are the....herbs used?" she asked weakly.

"Golden thread made into a tea every morning and night when a woman is not having her moon time," Anya answered. "The roots of the Antelope Sage during the moon cycle, again morning and evening."

"That simple, hm?" Answered Zelandoni thoughtfully. "No wonder you and Ayla insist on keeping supplies of those herbs, especially, on hand. Now that I see the benefits, I can suppose you are right. I had a sister who died in childbirth, her baby boy with her. It was sad."

"You must not tell anyone," warned Anya. "The knowledge is too sacred. But you can give the herbs out of necessity without explaining the specifics for the teas. That's how the Clan women kept it to themselves all these eons. If the men ever found out, they would forbid its use."

"I can understand why," Zelandoni sighed. "All right, Anya, my lips are sealed, but I plan to meditate hard and long with the Mother to find out if she sanctions this. I certainly hope you are right, it is a gift from Her to the women of the Zeladoni. And I am glad you trusted me."

"You won't curse me of Doni's presence in the next world?"

"Nay, child. Somehow, I think that if what you had done was wrong, you would not be under so powerful a protection. I believe you are simply following the paths Doni mapped out for your life."

"You think so?" Anya was surprised Anya did not react with anger at this whole affair. It was unlike the woman, even Zelandoni.

"Yes, Anya. You carry too much power, the Mother favors you and Ayla too much to bless you with a gift you would misuse. When Doni decides that it is time for you to become Blessed, probably not even your herbs will work against the Mother's potent force."

****

As Autumn came into full swing, Anya watched her mother carefully. Ayla grew rapidly to a well-rounded girth, strong evidence of a healthy baby. Anya wondered if she wasn't a little too big for just one, in fact.

"It only *feels* like one baby," Ayla answered when Anya insisted on examining her. "A very active baby, but it all seems in one place. Most women pregnant with twins feel kicking and punching in two places."

Anya eyed her mother's girth speculatively. She was not certain, but her mother *was* larger than normal, and she herself could only feel the movements of one very active baby.

For the time being, she kept hersuspicions to herself. She did not want to worry Ayla, and Ayla herself was a medicine woman--couldn't she tell the difference? And twins meant double the danger to her mother's life, and yet Ayla did not seem concerned.

"What do you think, Momma?" she asked. "Boy or girl?"

"I don't know," Ayla answered. "The baby sure kicks hard, like a sturdy little boy. But you moved as much. I thought you were a boy because you kicked so much and so hard, you bruised my insides."

"Then chances are equally good that it is a girl," Anya answered with a grin. "What does Jondalar want?"

"It doesn't matter to him," Anya answered. "I already have a son, although maybe Jondalar would like a son born to his hearth. But he would want another daughter just as much."

"Just imagine," Anya laughed softly. "Another me to pester him with. Wonderful."

"You're not a pest!" Aylay exclaimed, then laughed aloud. "But you have been trying at times, growing up."

"And now you have to start all over again," Anya teased.

"Just you wait," Anya threatened good-naturedly. "You will be blessed of Doni soon enough. Then we'll see who can tease!"

"Mabye," Anya answered. "Who knows?"

****

It was late autumn. It was raining heavily outside, and inside, Anya groaned in frustration as she surveyed the sudden damage she encountered at her hearth.

"Luna!" she scolded gently. "You know better than that!"

The puppy lowered her head, contrite. Anya realized she had forgotten to spread the 'wolf repellent' on the leather pouch containing her golden thread, and with it knotted in such a fashion, the puppy, usually very obedient, had mistaken it for a chew toy.

Luna looked utterly crushed, tail between her little legs as she looked at Anya imploringly.

Anya's soft heart could not resist such submissiveness, and she sighed as she sank to the ground and smiled forgivingly.

Instantly, Luna dropped her submissive stance and went bounding all over Anya, licking her face and giving short, happy whimpers to be forgivin. Anya laughed and wrapped her arms around the puppy, who wiggled happily and settled down in Anya's lap admidst the mess strewn about the Hearth and all over herself, and Anya now, too.

That's how Echozar found them, both giggling and covered in the dust of ground-up herbs. They looked so funny he started to laugh, guffawing mightily until he was on his knees and gasping for breath, gathering Anya and Luna to him as he panted for air.

"Anya, my love," he ground out between gasps, "You always know how to make this man's day, don't you? Despite the mess to our hearth!" her eyes were sparkling so brightly he could not resist leaning down to kiss her. "What is all over the floor, may I ask?"

"Luna got into the golden thread I keep around," Anya answered over her laughs. "She mistook the bag for a chew toy of hers because it did not have wolf repellent on it and it is knotted at the top like one of her toys. She got golden thread all over the place. I couldn't help but laughing, either--and she's forgiven for making me laugh."

"Then I'll forgive her, too," he chuckled. The mental image of them on the floor like they had been came to mind again, and he roared all over again. "But you should see yourselves--what a sight!" He guffawed. "You have that stuff all over you. I don't even see why you keep so much--isn't it for scrapes and stings?"

"It's always nice to have some around," Anya gasped over laughs. "For laughter from a mischevious puppy if nothing else."

"Oh, I don't know," he teased. "It does wonders for your complexion, too." he laughed as he brushed some of the stuff off of her face. "You're covered in it."

"What's it look like? Luna got it all over me." Even as she said it, the happy puppy walked out of the hearth and to the cave enterance, shaking herself vigorously before trotting off in the rain.

"So what? You're still my beautiful Donii-woman," Echozar finally calmed down enough to kiss her again. Anya also stilled, her arms creeping up around his neck and neither caring if her tunic left traces of the herb on his clothing as well.

Since, despite the rain, almost everyone was out hunting, they had relative privacy. Only Ayla was there, too, and she was asleep. Anya, though dimly, she knew she should not, forgot about the golden thread she was now lacking as Echozar slid his arms behind her shoulders and knees, carrying her over to their sleeping platform. As he bent to kiss her again and undo the drawstrings of her tunic, all thoughts slid away for good.

****

However, Anya was so busy helping to butcher the kills the hunters brought in she did not consider asking her mother to borrow her supply, and she was forced to wait until the storms let up before she could go search for more. It was so late in the season that winter might as well have been upon them. She found barely eough, she was sure, to last her until spring. And it was so late, she wondered if it would be potent enough, for the growing season was long over.

****

The chill of winter descended upon the Zelandonii and Clan alike. Except for the rare fine day, both the Clan and the Zelandoni were confined to their well-stocked caves, and the pace of life dragged to a slow crawl.

It was in the deepest depths of winter when Anya woke with a gasp. A short, sharp wave of nausea came over her, and she gasped as she bolted up from the bed.

Echozar sat up in surprise as Anya, doubled over, grabbed her stomach and fled towards the cave entrance without bothering to even put on shoes. She was dressed in only her winter underclothing, and she would freeze out there.

However, he could not catch her as she stumbled outside and threw up, heedless of the burning effect of snow on her bare feet or arms, only retching until her stomach was empty of it's contents.

He caught up with her as she sat back, her face white and her hair loose, tumbling over her.

This was not the first time this week she had been ill, he had wondered if she was coming down with something.

"Anya, are you okay?" he gasped as he lifted her up out of the snow and carried her back inside to their sleeping platform. She nodded weakly.

Ayla came hurrying over as fast as her girth would permit her. She had seen the whole episode and was anxious about her daughter.

"I'm *okay*, Momma," Anya shooed away her mother's hand impatiently. "I am not sick, I can promise you that much."

The way she put it made Ayla blink. Her eyes narrowed as she studied her ghostly-pale daughter.

"Anya," she began. "Then you know what's wrong?"

"I would not call it anything wrong, Momma."

"I see. When was your last moon time, then?"

"Not for two full turnings of the moon, now."

Ayla blinked in surprise. "If you are this far along, Anya, why didn't you say anything sooner?"

"I was going to wait until I was sure for myself, since quite a few people in the cave have been sick with the flu this past moon. I have been certain for a few days now. I was planning on telling you, Echozar. I just wanted to wait for the right time."

He blinked as her words slowly dawned on him. "Anya...are you saying you are...."

She smiled at him as color came back into her face. "Yes, Echozar. I had hoped Doni would have waited until spring, but--I have been Blessed."

A wide grin split his face as he hugged her gently, suddenly mindful of her condition. "Anya! My Donii-woman, you are remarkable. I was afraid your totem would never allow you to have a baby. But Doni and Ursus have decided otherwise, haven't they?"

*And I think I know the exact date when the baby got started,* Anya mused to herself, remembering the incident with the golden thread Luna had innocently destroyed, and what had happend between her and Echozar right afterwards. All it had taken was three missed doses for her to become pregnant, she thought.

She had rarely seen Echozar even this happy or full of pride, and she herself was glad. Her mother's pregnancy was progressing so well that Ayna was daring to hope nothing would go wrong this time. Somehow, she was beginning to doubt the Mother would have blessed her if She felt Anya could not handle it. Anya was not even worried about Jerika, who was built with hips, though not big, were wide enough for childbirth.

"Now it's my turn to nag you about being careful," teased Ayla. "Let you go through what you have put *me* through this time around. Not even Jondalar or Zelandoni made me suffer like this when I carried you."

Anya shot her mother a Look. "Oh, very funny," she groused, but smiled anyway. "At least I am *concerned.*"

"I hope your concern pays off," Ayla grumped. "I feel like I could burst any moment. I cannot believe I have a moon and a half to go."

Again Anya eyed her mother. She *was* as big as a woman ready to deliver, and and was beginning to show the strains a woman went through in late pregnancy--all abdomen, with arms and legs like sticks compared to it.

"I'll call a truce," Anya finally said. "We'll both be careful, and one won't nag the other about it without good reason. Okay?"

"Agreed," Ayla laughed, hugging Anya hard. "Let's not pass this trait onto our children, shall we? My child and grandchild will be quiet, complascent, obedient children."

"Am I that way, Momma?" asked Anya, feigning innocence.

"Absolutely not. Haven't you ever heard of the phrase 'live and learn, and try again'?" asked Ayla, eyes twinkling.

Anya tossed a hide at her mother for that one, even as their laughter echoed over the high cave ceiling.

****

For some reason, Ayla insisted on accompanying Anya to the Clan cave two weeks later, when the weather cleared for a spell. Anya protested; Ayla had only a month to go and Anya did not want her to risk injury by going out in the depths of winter.

Ayla, however, was bored with staying inside all the time and needed a change of scene. The snow was not deep, and it was not that far, so finally, Anya aquiesced to helping her mother along.

Uba was the first to notice the pair hobbling along and went to alert the other women before approaching signing greetings. It was enough for Anya to sense that the women here too, were in need of a distraction from the daily restrictions that so bound their lives.

"You're so big, Ayla!" exclaimed Uba as she fell in to helping Anya settle down at her hearth. "Surely you carry a boy this time."

"I don't know, Uba," Anya confessed as she settled down by the hearth fire. "I was almost this big with Anya, and she was as active. I could be having another girl for all I know."

"Still, you have one son, another would be showing you had lots of luck," Uba gestured thoughtfully.

"We'll see, Uba," Ayla gestured, hiding a smile. "It shan't be long, now, before I find out."

"Me, too," Anya rather bluntly shared her news, though her eyes gilltered. "I will find out in about six and a half moons."

Uba went pale in surprise. "Ursus has been defeated?" she looked shocked. "I am sorry, Anya," she realized her bad manners in staring. "Nobody here thought you would ever really have your totem defeated. This woman was caught by surprise, and she really is happy for you."

"The whole Clan will be shocked when they find out," Anya answered, having anticipated Uba's reaction. "I simply think that Ursus knew it would be hard for me to have a baby otherwise, and let Echozar's Dirk-toothed tiger spirit defeat him for my sake."

Uba paled. "This woman knows nothing of the ways of the spirits," she gestured, a little fearfully that Anya would spew such information that was forbidden to a Clan woman like Uba.

"Well, this woman does," Anya answered. Ayla nudged her, and Anya wisely decided not to say anymore as the two women settled into Vorn's hearth.

Broud saw them enter, and he cast occassional glances at the pair as they sat across the cave from his own hearth. It was a scene that cut through time, winter idleness that had the women gossiping and telling stories, and especially the strange one sitting and watching with such rapt interest.

The image reverberated sharply through the years, and Broud had to shake his head to clear it. There were differences; two strange ugly women instead of one, and the sight of the woman who had once been his hated enemy in his younger, immature years--the realization of how immature was a source of constant humiliation he would never live down--Ayla no longer inspired those feelings in him. Finally, *finally*, Broud could open his eyes and see what was truly there, that most of the other Clan members had seen in Ayla all along. In her, somehow, he no longer sensed a threat; he could at last truly sense a feel of future in Anya, a thread to a future that, without her and people like Durc, the Clan would not survive to see.

He did not consciously realize this, but it was there. All he knew for certain that the right thing had been done, and the spirits were happy again. The Clan had a home, were sanctioned by Ursus, even a flesh-and-blood form that obeyed the call of the younger Others woman sitting right now in Vorn's hearth. In Anya, too, Broud could subconsciously sense a future for his Clan, and this woman would help pave the way for that future that would allow the Clan to survive.

****

Anya saw her mother wince in surprised pain as her hand flew to her lower back. Instantly on the alert, Anya turned to her.

"Momma, are you all right?" she asked, concerned.

"I....think so...." Ayla breathed. "It's just back cramps, dear. I'm fine."

At least, Ayla had been certain of it until another, sharper pain caught her completely by surprise, and she almost fell over.

"Momma!" Anya gasped in fear. "Uba, help me!"

Uba was a little surprised as they eased Ayla back, ignoring her weak protests.

"I knew we shouldn't have ventured over here!" Anya muttered to herself as she knelt to give Ayla a quick examination, despite Ayla's assurances that everything was fine.

"Mother, you're almost halfway dialated!" exclaimed Anya in shocked, barely remembering to sign the words, too, for Uba's benefit. "How long have you been having pains?"

"It...felt like I just started....I don't understand," Ayla whispered weakly, then gritted with another contraction. "Sometimes...a woman can dialate without her feeling anything."

"Your so-called back cramps!" Anya exclaimed impatiently.

"Dear, that can happen to any woman. We've both delivered lots of babies, you should know that by now."

"Of course I do, but you're my mother! This...is different, I don't want to lose you!" Tears of anger and fear sheened in the back of Anya's eyes as she fought to control herself.

Ayla cried out softly as another wave of pain overcame her, and suddenly a clear wet spot stained the front of her leather tunic and spread rapidly.

"You're water's broke!" Moaned Anya softly as she held Ayla's hand through the contraction. "Momma, you're in no condition to go back to the Ninth Cave, I can tell you that much." She ignored her mother when Ayla started to shake her head in protest. "Uba, I am going to need your help to get her over to the hearth for women with their battling totems. She will have to deliver here."

Uba nodded, bowing her head in obedience. Anya stifled a groan at the implied subservience; but did not give it another thought as they gently urged Ayla to her feet and helped her to the back of the cave to the hearth where no man ventured without good reason.

Broud had heard the commotion, however, and he carefully approached the forbidden hearth, making protective signs before stepping into the section of the cave and not daring to cross the hearth boundaries.

Anya quickly approached and, considering where they were standing, lowered herself in the posture of permission; more to remind broud she was a woman than anything else. He tapped her impatiently on the shoulder, and she rose.

"Mother went into a surprise labor," she signed quickly. "It is a moon too soon, but she cannot make it back to our cave in time. She must have her baby here." Anya hesistated, then added, "There is a chance she may not survive this, Broud. Giving birth to both Durc and myself nearly killed her both times."

She turned her back to the other women conspicuosly before signing, "If Ayla dies, I will be responsible for her child, should the baby live."

Broud nodded, knowing that Ayla's giving birth here could not be helped. He blinked, though, when Anya made a gesture of request.

He nodded at her, and she continued.

"This woman would wish that Jondalar be permitted to come into this hearth and be with his mate when she deilvers. It is permitted among the Others for a man to attend his mate's birthing, to be with her. And Jondalar loves Ayla dearly, neither would be able to bear it otherwise." Anya lowered her head. "This woman would know if such a thing would be permissible; she knows Jondalar is a man."

Broud considered. It wasn't kosher, but it was not as if a man could not be protected and purified after contact. After some hesistation, he gestured, "It will be permitted as long as he protects himself from entering this deadly area where spirits are battling; touches no woman but his mate or you, and purifies himself after he leaves. If he does not do these things, it may spell disaster--not only for him, but for the other men. He would have been too close to women with battling totems."

Anya nodded in quick agreement before turning to Uba's older daughter, Iga. "Go find Jondalar, will you?" she asked the girl, barely a woman. "Tell him what has happened, and tell him Ayla requests he be with her. Also tell him to listen to Broud's instructions before he barges over to this hearth."

Iga nodded, throwing on a fur cloak before disappearin out of the cave and in the direction of the Ninth Cave around the bend.

Anya turned back to Broud. "When Jondalar arrives, forewarn him before he enters, and make sure he obeys your instruction. He may be hesistant to listen at first in his hurry to get to Ayla's side, but reason with him, and tell him it is the only way. Even Jondalar fears the spirits enough to listen."

Broud quickly made a gesture that said he understood, then went to go purify himself and wait for Jondalar.

Anya swallowed her own fear and went back to examining her mother.

Again, she frowned at her mother's size. Ayla seemed to grow bigger every day, and Anya just could not swallow her suspicions. And if she was right, no wonder Anya went into premature labor!

"Has the baby shifted any, Mother?" she asked, sliding her hands beneath Ayla's tunic and resting them on her mother's bare abdomen.

"I think so, and become twice as active. Happened a day or so ago," Ayla grunted through a contraction.

"Are you sure you are not due for a moon yet?" asked Anya, feeling two distinct kicks, one at the top of her mother's abdomen, and one at the bottom.

"I am sure, child." Ayla moaned softly, and lay back, her face gray.

"Um....Momma..." Anya tried to phrase it delicately. "A baby cannot kick from both the top of your abdomen and at the bottom. And considering how large you are and what I have suspected for quite some time, I think we have two in here."

*That* brough Ayla up quickly. "*What?*" she gasped aloud. "It's not...hasn't felt like..."

"Mother, you know as well as I do that if one baby is behind the other, it is not always felt," Anya assured her. "When they shifted positions, I am sure you noticed a lot more movement."

Ayla slumped back again, nodding weakly. "But I did not connect it with...."

Anya wanted desperately to hold her mother's hand and assure her everything would be fine, but she could not. She could not lie to her mother; she was almost incapeable of lying, for one thing, and even if she could have, Ayla would have known the real truth instantly.

So Anya just closed her eyes, alternately praying for her mother to get through this double delivery safely, and for Jondalar to arrive quickly.

**** "Get a second birthing mat," Anya instructed Uba as she fought to control her own rapidly-pounding heart. "We're going to need it. And tell Goov to chant an extra prayer. I hope it will help the spirits look kindly on Ayla, she needs their blessings now."

No sooner had Uba scrambled away to do as she was told then Jondalar, ghastly pale and with a distraught expression, came bustling in, barely remembering to make a certain protective gesture before he stepped hurriedly into the hearth boundaries. He ignored the other Clan women present, who bowed their heads and avoided looking at him or touching him, for his presence here was dangerous.

All he did was kneel at Ayla's side, gently reaching for her hand and calling her name.

Ayla, almost passed out from the intense pain, opened her eyes weakly. "Jondalar...?"

"I'm here," he reassured her softly. "Don't worry, Ayla, I won't leave your side. Not now, not ever."

Weakly, her gaze went to his hand clutching hers. A bizzare spiral was drawn on the back of it in red ochre, some strange protective symbol that Goov had obviously made Jondalar wear for his own protection.

"I'm surprised he let you in....Broud," she whispered faintly, her face going an even slacker shade.

"After a lot of rituals and chants, he did," Jondalar ventured aloud, but in a whisper. "What does he think this will do? A lot of strange rituals to make sure I don't put myself or them in danger. It's just a baby, for Doni's sake!!!"

Anya hid her smile as she steeped cherry bark to hurry the labor up. The sooner this was over, the better it would be for Ayla.

"Jondalar..." whispered Anya, and for the first time, he could hear fear in her voice. "Jondalar...I'm scared."

"It will be okay," he assured her, rubbing her hand soothingly with his fingers. "Doni will watch over us, bless us. Don't worry."

"I cannot...help it," she gasped over a contraction. "I don't...want to die....Jondalar, Anya suspects there are two babies...."

He blinked, stilling. "What did you say?"

His color fled as she whispered, gasping for air, "There are two babies, Jondalar."

"...Twins?" he echoed weakly. Ayla nodded.

Suddenly, he hugged her. "Whatever Doni blesses us with, Ayla. I just pray it will all turn out right."

****

"It is time," said Anya quietly, checking her mother's progress. "You are fully dialated, Momma.

Ayla nodded weakly, trying to hide her fear. The babies were early at any rate, and so much could go wrong....

"Take a deep breath, Momma, and push," Anya advised, getting into position. "You can do this."

Ayla took a deep breath and arched her back in acute pain. The waves of contractions changed, and she felt the urge to bear down press strongly on her senses. She could do nothing but obey, straining for all it was worth.

"Good, Momma. I can see the head." At this, Jondalar felt a little better, though Ayla was gripping his hand so tightly it hurt. She was a very strong woman, and he feared she would snap the bones of his hand.

"Again, Momma." Ayla gritted her teeth over the pain as she fought to heed her daughter's advice, trying to ignore her swimming vision, or the blood she felt seeping from her body already.

Anya massaged Ayla's abdomen once more before moving her hands back into position. "Push, Mother. Evenly, now. The body is coming free."

Anya could feel the tiny body emerging gradually, slipping into her hands from Ayla's efforts.

"It's almost over," Anya encouraged. "Just once more, now."

Ayla, almost to the point of blacking out, gave one final effort, and Anya felt the body of the baby slip fully free.

Instantly, a lusty wail filled the cave, so loudly heads turned from every hearth at the sound, until they realized their bad manners and turned away just as quickly.

Anya smiled in joy as she pulled the baby out from underneath her mother's draped abdomen. "It's a boy, Momma. He's early, but he's still healthy--just listen to that howl!"

She held up the protesting baby to prove her point. He was not really very undersized, even for a boy who could not wait for the proper time to be born. He was covered in birth blood, and was wailing mightily to protest the cold air assailing his body.

Even as she quickly cleaned him, Anya could see that Jondalar's features were strongly evident, and a thick capping of near-white hair adorned his head. Just as suddenly as he started, he stopped wailing and opened violet eyes for the first time to regard her in curiosity as she wrapped him in a doeskin.

"He's beautiful, Momma," Anya whispered honestly, handing the tiny bundle to her exhausted mother, who seemed no worse for the wear for her efforts--yet. She let her parents fawn over the infant as she quickly checked on matters from below.

No sooner had Anya confirmed her suspicions than Ayla gasped, and was forced to hand the baby to Jondalar. Anya had been right.

Another baby was on the way.

****

Anya frowned, worried. The baby was not in the right position, she could tell that right off just by feeling her mother's abdomen. An icy wave of fear washed down her back; this was a complication the exhausted Ayla could not afford.

"Whatever you do, Momma, *don't push*," she warned as she felt her mothe's abdomen. "The other baby is turned wrong--buttocks first. I want to see if I can turn the head around. You may feel pressure, and pain, but hold still."

Ayla had no choice but to obey. She stiffened and gritted her teeth as Anya put painful pressure on her abdominal area, manipulating the baby so that it began to move.

That is when the problem arose.

Anya could not hide the worry in her tone. "Momma, I cannot turn the baby beyond a transeverse lie. No wonder it could not turn any way but foot-first--the cord is caught, probably even around the baby's neck."

Ayla sank back, tears streaming down her exhausted face. "Oh, no, Jondalar...."

Anya bit her lip, wondering what to do. She had heard of these rare, but usually fatal situations. She stared at her small hands, then at her mother's abdomen, wishing there was some way around this.

She stared at her hands again. Like the rest of her, they were small. An idea began to form in her mind.

"Momma....this is un-kosher, but I think I have an idea. I am going to reach up inside you and try to unloop the cord. Chances are, it's around the baby's neck."

Ayla opened her flint-colored eyes to gape at her daughter. She had rarely heard of such a thing, the danger was incredible, but was there any other way to save her baby?

She nodded.

"Okay, then," Anya breathed, forcing herself to relax for her mother's sake. She slickened her hands well with grease, preparing to attempt this dangerous stunt.

"Whatever you do, Momma, don't stiffen," she warned. "It will only make it harder and more painful."

Ayla did her best to obey, but she still cried out in acute pain when Anya's hand slid up inside the birth passage, feeling around.

"Don't stiffen, Momma!" Anya warned, feeling the tiny head and neck at last. She could indeed feel the cord caught tightly around the little neck.

Straining, Anya managed to get her fingers underneath the cord and tug, gently as she possibly could, in order to loosen it. It took three tries, and each time, Ayla cried out in pain.

On the third try, Anya at last felt the cord give way. She pulled it loose, and unlooped it from the baby's neck. Finally withdrawing her hand, she manipulated the baby into the correct position.

"Okay, mother, you can push now." Anya silently prayed that her feat had not killed the baby or her mother, who was almost at the end of her endurance.

"Push, Momma." Despite this, Anya kept encouraging her. "Just one push should do it; it's almost over now."

Ayla gathered the last of her strength. With one last burst of energy, drawn from a source she did not know she had, Ayla managed to comply. She arched her back and gave one more final push. That was all it took for the baby to slide from her womb.

Almost immediately, there was another loud, howling wail, even louder than the boy baby's had been.

"It is a girl, Momma!" Anya called over the racket, heedless of the tears streaming down her face. The baby was alive! She had a slight bluish cast to her face, but as she cried, the color faded within seconds, along with Anya's worries for her life.

Quickly, Anya cleaned the birth blood from her new sister, severing the cord that had caused the poor baby and her mother so much trouble. She marveled also at the tiny features that so resembled her own. She did not see much difference, in either the face or the cap of blonde hair on the tiny head, until the baby's eyes opened to reveal her mother's large flint-colored orbs.

"She's beautiful, Momma--just as the boy is as handsome as Jondalar." Anya could not help herself.

Ayla was out of strength. She could only nod weakly before her eyes slid closed and darkness claimed her.

Stiffening,Anya quickly pushed the baby girl at Uba. She had to work fast, now, for a very different reason. Ayla was still bleeding, and Anya had to fight to control it. Both times before it had been the main reason Ayla had nearly walked the spirit world, leaving her children hanging in the balance.

*Well, not this time either, Momma! You won't leave us!* Anya's heart pounded in her ears, she was not sure she said the words or not as her hands flew.

Jondalar could not hide a gasp of fear, as he held Ayla's limp hand in his own. He hated feeling so helpless as his love lay there, bleeding to death. Anya massaged her mother's abdomen as hard as she could, applying cloths to staunch the blood flow as she fought off her own growing panic.

At last, though, luck was on their side. Life was granted Ayla once again as the blood stopped in time to not only save her life, but to ensure she would awaken soon.

There was indeed a collective sigh of relief when her eyes opened again. She saw her daughter and smiled weakly. Anya surprised herself by bursting into tears and hugging her mother tightly.

"Doni be praised!" she exclaimed. "It's a miracle, Momma. Doni did watch over us!"

"She sure did, my firstborn daughter," Ayla whispered softly, her love for her daughter boundless, even as she cradled her two newest infants between her and Jondalar. "She sure did. The Mother...is wise."

****

Finally, Anya composed herself enough to leave the hearth and go report to Broud.

"Ayla has given birth," she motioned with solemnity, though the rest of her posture belied this projection.

"Yes?" he asked impatiently.

"Ayla had two babies," Anya motioned simply. "Twins. A boy and a girl. Healthy babies of the Others."

Anya did not bother making the customary gesture of sorrow when mentioning the girl. "Ayla and Jondalar have already chose their names."

Broud was not surprised at this. He did not expect them to follow Clan tradition on everything.

"And they are...?" he gestured noncommitally, even though he was curious.

"The boy is to be named Creb. The girl is to be named Iza." Anya smiled inadvertently at his shocked expression.

"Clan names?" he gestured in disbelief. "The siblings of the mate of my mother?"

"Yes," was Anya's simple response. She left a flabbergasted Broud behind and returned to the hearth with it's newest additons to her family. She smiled as her hand wandered to her own flat stomach.

*And soon I will have my own,* she thought. It was a wonderful feeling.