By Sharon
Here it is at last: Clan of the Cave Bear TNG #6. Enjoy. The only things I should really point out
beforehand: I am going on the assumption that Creb, before he died, changed his mind about the Root
Ceremony and told Goov after all. Also remember that the Zoug in this story is not the Zoug Ayla once
knew--he's the leader of the visiting Clan. A few allusions (nothing graphic) to breastfeeding. On with the
story, then....
*Flash*
The white, misty fog was so dense as to confuse Anya's already-befuddled senses completely. She did not
know where she was, or why she should be here. A faint sense of deja-vu was hardly comforting, and the
only thing that kept her from total panic was the serene quiet the fog imposed on her frigid mind.
She looked down at herself, then gasped again. Was the fog so thick she could not see her own body?
Or....had she traveled somewhere not on this earth? She could not feel herself; no cold, nor heat, nor
pain. It was as if her mind had severed itself completely from her senses. The disjointed feeling was
overwhelming, as the feelings of *space*, endless space, overwhelmed her consciousness.
A vague whisper floated in on some mysterious wind she was somehow aware of, despite her disjointed
senses, the words "the mind's eye" blowing past her consciousness so faintly she almost did not catch it.
*The minds eye?* Was this a dream, then? Or a vision? She did not remember inducing herself into a
trance....the last thing she remembered doing was.....what? Her memory of her most recent activities
dimmed in her mind as she failed to recall what she was seeking.
Whatever it was, it was swiftly put aside as small murmuings and rustlings penetrated the eerie, calming
silence. Out of the fog shadowy figures loomed, two...no, three? she couldn't tell...figures almost gliding in
the air slowly towards her.
Anya squinted as the figures became gradually more clear. One was a Cave Bear, Ursus, her guardian
spirit. Beside him sauntered a Dirk-Toothed Tiger, his fierce large teeth set with the fangs hanging from his
mouth in a non-threatening fashion. The two walked together in companiable silence, but for the natural
sounds that would come to the animals in nature.
Behind them, loping happily, was a third, smaller figure. Anya squinted again, trying to make it out, for it
was much smaller than the other two figures.
At last, the tiny--well, relatively speaking--figure came into clear view. It was a newborn bear cub. A cub
of the Cave Bear. It loped happily close behind the larger cave bear, being careful to remian by her side.
And yet, the presence of this baby did not disturb the Dirk-toothed tiger in the least....in fact, the tiger
turned once or twice to nuzzle the baby in a loving fashion.
As they passed Anya, she felt a distinct sense of puzzlement. If she could have, she would have
scratched her head. What did it mean? The trio did not pay her any mind, they simply sauntered on past,
as if they were there for her to see but not to reveal the reason why.
And she had no clue. She watched them as they passed her and gradually faded out into the distance,
having no notion as to why she had been privy to this scene. She sensed an underlying importance,
especially concerning the Cave Bear cub, but she could not connect something that seemed to be under
the surface. It was truly puzzling.
*Flash*
It was soft cooings and snifflings that brought Anya back to another awareness....this one a gradual
movement between the realms of dreamland and the realm of the true living. Her violet-blue eyes fluttered
open, and she felt warm pressures on her body--a strong man holding her lovingly in his sleep, and another
of a young wolf curled against her leg.
*A dream. It had been a dream.* The realization brought Anya to instant awareness. *But what kind of a
dream?* she wondered, slithering out of Echozar's grasp so swiftly and silently he did not awaken from his
own dreamworld. She sensed it had been trying to tell her something, but she had no idea *what*.
She did awaken Luna, the young wolf she had adopted the previous winter. However, the mostly-grown
girl-pup, eyes still heavy with sleep, gave her a dim glance and closed her eyes again, turning her body so
all four paws were in the air, closing her yellow eyes to go back to sleep.
Sharie smiled inadvertently as she quietly crossed the Hearth. Luna, the first baby at her hearth. In some
ways, like her first child in the Hearth she shared with her mate, Echozar. This loyal, loveable girl-pup was
beloved of everyone in the cave, and in the Clan cave beyond. Not even the women or children feared this
gentle puppy.
Anya made her way over to the new, tiny creature whose cooing and snuffling had awakened her earlier.
Anya smiled a serene smile as she unwrapped her newest treasure, her newborn daughter, from the fur
robes that had tucked her in tight.
"I bet you're hungry, aren't you, little one?" She whispered, loosening one of the front flaps on the
maternity tunic she had fashioned for herself. She liked this tunic, with strajetically-placed flaps so that
she did not have to remove the top so her daughter could feed. All she had to do was loosen a string.
The baby blinked at her sleepily as Anya placed her daughter to her breast, but within moments the baby
got the idea, waking up enough to turn her little head an latch on.
Anya hummed softly to herself as she cradled her seven-day-old daughter. Had it been seven days since
her birth? Mentally, she recounted and was certain that it had been. Which meant that today she could
finally go out in public and reveal the name and gender of her baby to those outside her Cave.
Anya smiled a little at the irony of this custom. It was one blatantly obvious custom the Zelandonii shared
with the Clan--to an extent. Like the Clan, the first seven days of a Zelandonii baby's life were a test of
survival. The mother and infant were forbidden from leaving the Cave during that period, and other
inhabitants of the Cave were forbidden from mentioning the baby's chosen name or gender to outsiders of
the Cave for that given amount of time, until the moment the woman stepped out into public, her baby in
her arms. Only then would the baby be recognized as fit to become a Zelandonii member. It was feared
that if this custom were broken, protective spirits that would surround a baby would depart, and the child
could meet with misfortune, or even die.
Today was, at last, the seventh day. Anya was frankely glad, every pore in her body was screaming at her
to get outside and move around. She had long since recovered from the baby's birth in most ways, carnal
relations being the exception. She would also be safe in approaching the Clan again, for her birth blood had
ceased to flow completely two days prior. Her waist had shrunk to it's normal size again, and looking at
herself, she could scarecly tell she had ever been with child at all, except for, of course, something
common to all women--a slight increase in bust size.
Anya smiled again at her daughter, feeling a surge of emotion so strong that it almost choked her. So this
was maternal love, true maternal love. At last she understood her mother's fears over having other babies,
only to lose them or her own life. A mother's protective instincts surged strong, and Anya knew she would
risk and gladly give up her own life if it would spare her daughter.
Idly, she stroked the thick, soft dark curls on her daughter's head. Though her daughter was of both Clan
and Others blood, she had only two Clan features that were blatantly obvious: Her thick hair, which was
the lustrously black color of Clan babies, though it would have Anya's tight curliness to it; and her skin,
unlike the pale hues most of the Others had, was more of a bronzeish color of the Clan. Both of these
features were clearly those of the father of her spirit, the man of mixed spirits, Echozar.
Other than these two features, the baby did not have any features that were visually obvious of her Clan
heritage. If Anya placed her fingers on the baby's forehead, she could feel the barest thickening of brow
ridges where babies of the Clan would have them, but were not obvious to the naked eye. Running her
fingers to the back of the baby's head, she could detect an occipital knob of Clan babies, but it was much
less developed and hidden underneath the thick head of hair on the tiny head. Her forehead rose high and
vaulted, she had a bony knob beneath her mouth called a chin, and her nose was small and finely chisled
like her mother's. In fact, except for her obvious Clan hair and skin, the baby was the epitome of her
mother in miniature.
The sleepy eyes blinked open again, and Anya found herself staring into deep blue-violet eyes that
matched her own, eyes that would garauntee that she would have every avalible man panting after her in
the years to come. A tiny hand clutched at Anya's fingers, the miniature fingers and hand supported by
bones much thinner and more delicate than heavy Clan bones. Her legs were straight, not curved like Clan
infants, and her head was round, high, and full, like any Others infant. The little rosebud mouth that
unlatched from her mother at last completed the delicate-looking effect, the perfect image of a stunningly
beautiful baby.
*At least to my eyes,* Anya mused silently with a small smile. Of course, all mothers felt that way about
their daughters, and she supposed she was no different. That didn't dim her view, however.
"So you're done then, my little Joplaya?" she whispered the baby's chosen name aloud. Joplaya, the name
she had wished upon her daughter at her birth, was the name of Echozar's first mate. Anya herself had
dearly loved the woman, and had been saddened when she had died five years before, now.
Carefully, Anya laid her daughter back in the cradle suspended from a beam strajetically placed in the
cave, so she could finish dressing and preparing to step outside for the first time in seven days.
She slid the rest of her tunic on, the bottoms and the leather foot coverings, and ran a brush through her
hair, plaiting it and letting the braid hang down her back, for once. When she turned back to her sleeping
platform, she saw Echozar watching her with a lazy, amused expression.
"That desperate to get outside and show the daughter of our hearth off, Anya?" he asked softly as she
crossed back to him to recieve his good-morning kiss. His arms closed about her, and he tilted back her
face to kiss her long and hard, his tongue plunging inside her mouth and causing shivers to race down her
spine.
"Don't kiss me like that," she admonished gently when he lifted his mouth from hers at last. "You know
what that does to me. It's too soon, Echozar." Her twinkling blue eyes were quite forgiving, however.
"I know," he said. "But I can't help it. Pregnant or not, you are still beautiful to me, my Donii-woman. I love
you, and I don't know what I would do without you." Anya knew for certain that his words were true. He
had lost a deep binding love, his first mate Joplaya, once, and had barely survived the ordeal. To lose her
again too would send him over the edge. What Anya also knew that she would feel the exact same way if
Echozar ever left her behind in this world, after making her life so complete.
Anya hugged him tightly before releasing him and reaching for the carrying cloak she had fashioned for her
daughter. As she did so, Echozar got up and moved towards the cradle, murmuring softly as he picked up
his daughter and cradled her lovingly in his large hands.
Another flush of warmth spread through Anya, as she watched her mate with love and pride. Echozar
might have the dirk-toothed tiger for a totem, but he was so gentle that it sometimes caused her to
wonder why the spirits had bestowed such a powerful animal on her mate for a totemic symbol. At least,
besides the obvious fact his was perhaps one of the very few animals that could ever have even an
outside chance of killing a cave bear, and then rarely. But it was this chance that let Ursus have pity on
her and started the new life that Echozar was so tenderly holding in his arms at the moment. He loved his
new daughter with the same abandon he loved the other two children of his hearth, and they had both
turned out strong of character because he had devoted himself to them.
And so it was with great reluctance that he handed Anya the baby to tie into the carrying cloak slung
across her chest. Anya secured their daughter, and leaned in to quickly kiss Echozar one more time before
she stood up to leave.
She took a few experimental steps, grateful that her daughter seemed to have a strong stomach like most
Clan babies, unlike Anya's seven-month-old sister Iza, who had a delicate stomach that upset rather easily
if she was moved too soon after feeding.
*I wonder how Momma does it,* she mused, running her hands down over her body and her flat abdomen,
rather glad that any last trace of pregnancy was gone. She was grateful that she could see her feet
again, and her body, so well-honed by the activity it was used to, had tolerated the pregnancy well after
those disastrous first few months. Anya would never forget the fear that had befallen her, her family, and
Echozar, when she had become so weak from lack of nourishment she had almost lost the baby, and her
own life, during the earliest months of pregnancy. But after that, she had blossomed, and despite having
narrow hips and an extremely short labor, had managed to birth a healthy baby.
Anya streched once more, this time upon her toes, feeling a familiar twinge in her legs that said "Get
going! Get moving!" Desperate to be out and about once again, she did not hesistate any longer, but
stepped outside of the boundary of her Hearth and headed for the mouth of the Cave.
****
Early-morning sunlight hit her eyes as she stepped forth into the warm summer morning, glad to see
others, besides the ones from the Ninth Cave, bustling about. The early risers were already enjoying
themselves at the Summer Meeting already in full swing. Byond that, around the bend, she knew that the
camp of the distant Clan was set up outside the cave of Ayla's Clan, as she often thought of them. Her
Clan, too. She knew that not only would the Zelandonii be anxious to see her infant--especially those who
feared she would never be Blessed--so would the Clan, for it had seemed that with a Cave Bear totem,
she would never have her spirits defeated. Only Echozar's Dirk-toothed Tiger totem had an outside
chance. Ursus could not be dfeated in any way, but maybe he would allow for new life to start after all,
since she was a woman. Still, being so old for a woman with no children, nobody had ever really expected
her to become pregnant.
Once full daylight was shed on her small figure, cradling a tiny bundle to her chest, enough activity paused
to make her feel self-conscious. Several women, as if they had been anticipating her arrival, were over
there in seconds, surrounding her and fairly demanding to see her baby.
"What is it, Anya, a boy or girl?" asked one woman eagerly, leaning in to get a glimpse of the baby cradled
tightly in Anya's carrying cloak. "What did Doni bless you with?"
"I had a girl, Ira," Anya said softly as she pulled back the top flap to the cloak to reveal her daughter's
small face. "This is Joplaya."
"Is she of the mixed man's spirit?"
"Lemme see!"
"Hey, quit crowding!"
Anya backed away a step. "Whoa, there. Yes, she is of mixed spirits like Echozar. It's just not as obvious."
She had not anticipated such a crowd. But evidently word had spread of her giving birth, and many were
eager to see the daughter of the powerful Zelandonii medicine woman. Carefully, she removed her
daughter from her cloak, holding her up for the women's near-ritualistic inspection. This was an old
Zelandonii custom, and she knew she would have to bear it patiently.
It indeed seemed to surprise them that the child had so few clan features. Anya had not really worried
that they would reject her infant over this, but they did seem pleased that the baby was a pretty little
creature.
"Ohhhhh, Anya, she is so cuuuuute!!!" crowed an old one. "I swear I have never seen such a loveable baby
since my last one was born so many years ago!"
*Of course,* mused Anya, *I guess all mothers think their children are the most beautiful* She only smiled
and nodded, holding up her baby for all to view.
"She is adorable," admitted Jerika, Echozar's older daughter. Jerika was the older child of the two children
born to Echozar's first Hearth. She held her own squirming son in her hands, born earlier in the spring. "She
looks delicate, yet strong. The Mother blessed you well."
"Just look at that little nose!"
"What beautiful hair!"
"Such a tiny, delicate little thing! All I had were great strapping boys!"
It only took a few minutes of this prattle for Anya to feel overwhelmed, rather like trade goods put on
display. It mixed with her pride that she felt over the fact the women approved so highly of her girl. It was
both settling and disturbing.
*Momma,* she thought, *I swear never to insist on showing off the twins again when you would rather be
doing something else. I admit it now, I am getting a taste of my own medicine.*
Jerika only snickered and walked away, one of her hands signaling behind her back, "Good luck getting
them off you."
Ayla walked by just then, the twins slung in a double carrier to her hip. Ayla took one look at her older
daughter and ducked her head, unable to hide her amusement. Anya knew that her mother was thinking
exactly what she had been thinking.
"I know, I know,* her free arm signaled in the silent language of the Clan, which few outside the Ninth
Cave knew. "Can you please help me out of this one?"
Amusing as it was, Ayla took pity on her daughter. Hiding her smile, she came over and quickly pulled Anya
out of the group, saying something vague about Echozar looking for her.
At the dissappointed murmers of the women, Anya forced herself to smile as she called behind her. "I will
bring her back later, okay? You can all drool over Joplaya some more later!"
"Don't worry, Anya," soothed Ayla as soon as they were out of general earshot of the women. "You just
have to get used to it. Many of those same women crowded around you when you were born, and once
my son was accepted by the Clan, he was pampered by just about everyone, even Brun. Now these two
rapscallions here get a lot of attention by Clan and Zelandonii alike." She grinned. "But you did get a taste
of your own medicine, didn't you?"
Color flooded Anya's face from embarassment, and she ducked her head. "Okay, I admit it. I won't show
off the twins anymore unless you want me to."
Ayla laughed merrily. "That wasn't the bad part. I don't mind you doing that. It's when I was busy, or with
you while you were doing it, that annoyed me. I will never get used to large crowds staring at me, even
after all these years." Her expression sobered. "Maybe you had better head on over to the Clan
encampment. Uba is anxious to see your baby for herself. I think even Broud is curious."
"What, to see what happened that allowed me to become Blessed?" Anya mused. "I wonder how they will
all take it when they learn I have given birth to a daughter, not a son."
Ayla shrugged. "It might be a miracle that you became with child at any rate, with such poweful protection
from the spirits. Maybe even Ursus allowed you to have a baby girl as a test of not only your womanhood,
but Echozar's manhood. Didn't you tell me Goov had declared your union one of equality? Ursus cannot be
dominated, and thus Echozar cannot dominate you. Maybe having a girl is a test of his worthiness to
remain as your mate."
"I don't know the reason, Momma," she whispered, almost to herself. "But my daughter does have a strong
totem already. She survived, and I survived, when my totem tested us both by almost killing me last
winter. Maybe my reward for enduring it was a healthy baby, and that is what I am grateful for."
"They are not really familiar with our concept of the Earth Mother, and I do not go around preaching my
own ideas on how babies are made," said Ayla thoughtfully. "They would never accept such ideals, and not
even Zelandoni does, really."
"That is because it sounds so unbelievable. I don't know what to think about your unorthodox ideas,
Momma. Speaking of spirits, I assume none of them know about the details of the Woman's Ceremony we
will be performing again this summer?"
Ayla went pale at the mention of this. "None knew but those of the Clan who saw it last year. And none
have told Broud or those that didn't see it what happened. It may frighten and anger the men to see
women using the root of spirit magic for themselves, when the Clan spirits forbade it. They must
understand that this ceremony of the Others is for women, not men."
"Whatever the reason, it may create a stir should any of them see it again. Only Clan males are allowed to
use that root. And only Uba, you, and me know how to make that drink. Uba will be making it for the men;
I will be making it again for you, me, and Zelandoni this year."
Ayla gaped at her daughter. "You mean....even with a newborn daughter, you are going to pull that stunt
again? Last time you came closer to death than I ever did. I have no doubt you saw things unimaginable,
but is death worth it?"
Anya quietly contemplated this. "I will be doing it, Momma. The spirits compel me to continue this course
of my life. Momma...." she trailed off for a moment. "Are you afraid of traveling that realm again, even
after doing so for so many years?"
Ayla went sheet white, and Anya stiffened as she thought her mother might faint. But Ayla remained
standing, and after several tense seconds, slowly nodded her blonde head. "Yes, I am very afraid. There is
the chance, Anya, of our getting our spirits trapped in that realm. We could never return if we did. Our
mates will have to call *hard* for us, and with much love and desire, for us to return safely. That is the
drive, the link that holds us to this realm, when our spirits are traveling elsewhere--almost like an umbelical
cord. It is different that what I recall Creb doing with the Clan men, he knew how to control the realm
instinctively. We of the Others, Anya, are new to the place. We haven't the memories for it; so the danger
is great. We are not men, and we are not Clan by blood."
Anya could only agree silently.
****
Anya drew a deep breath, and instinctively cradled her infant closer to her heart as she approached the
cave of the Clan. She had to do this. As a member of the Clan, she was as privy to the ritualistic
inspection of her infant by the leader as any other Clan woman, high status or not. Broud could not require
that she dispose of her daughter, should he deem her unsatisfactorily, but he *could* refuse her Clan
acceptance as a member, despite her Clan blood. Anya somehow doubted that Broud would do this--his
kinship debt to Anya and his fear of her and Ayla's spirits both were still too great--but there was still the
distant chance. As leader, this was something she could not really question him on once his decision was
final. It was the Clan way.
Uba, standing with the Medicine Woman of Zoug's Clan, saw her first. She made a gesture to the woman,
Iba. The other medicine woman turned to regard the strange woman of the Others that was coming into
their midst.
Everyone stopped and stared as the woman came into the camp. While a few Clan men had ventured over
to the camp of the Others, the women from Zoug's Clan had not. Only Uba and the other women closely
aquainted with Ayla and Anya dared to venture over from time to time. Except for Ayla, Anya was the first
woman of the Others to venture into the temporary Clan camp outside Broud's Cave.
Uba came over, trailed by Iba. Her eyes were happy to see the daughter of her sister, and grew soft when
they noticed that the bundle Anya was carrying was possibly the baby she had given birth to seven days
before.
Uba, hardly bothering with formality, made the gesture of one medicine woman greeting another, a gesture
seldom used since Medicine Women typically did not meet except during Clan gatherings.
Anya returned the gesture. "This woman is pleased to greet the sister of her mother," she motioned with
her free arm, using the one-handed adaptation of signals her mother had learned from Creb years before.
Her other arm was still cradling her daughter protectively. "This woman would also greet the medicine
woman of Zoug's Clan--this woman's name is Anya."
"A--an--ya...." The medicine woman stumbled the name. "This woman would greet one of the prestigous
medicine women of the Others," she motioned, still a bit reserved. "This woman is called Iba."
Anya nodded her head in acknowledgement before Uba gestured for her attention, only keeping the
ancient formal language for the sake of Iba--their everyday languages were vastly different.
"Is that the woman's baby, Anya?" she asked eagerly. "This woman wishes to see the infant, to know if it
is a boy or a girl--unofficially, of course," she amended hastily, to avoid anger by the spirits for
presumption. Uba only half-understood the Zelandonii reasoning for keeping a baby's name and gender
secret from those outside their Cave for seven days, beyond the test of survival. She did not want to
formally acknowlege the baby until it was safe to do so.
"I had a girl, Uba," Anya gestured, pulling back the flap on the carrying cloak enough so that Uba and Iba
could see her daughter. Uba glanced in at the tiny face and looked pleased.
"To the Clan, this would be an ugly baby," she joked. "But this woman has been around the Others long
enough to know that this baby would be considered pretty by the Others. She looks like a healthy infant."
Anya smiled, not in the least offended. Iba looked taken aback at the peculiar grimace that to her, seemed
to be an expression of threat--for the Clan did not smile, except for those of mixed spirits. Then she
remembered the few men of the Others who had been to the Clan encampment a few days before--they
had used that expression, but the rest of their body posture had said they were in good spirits. So this
gesture must mean that to the Others.
"Her face looks healthy," she gestured approvingly. "Even if the baby looks strange. She is not deformed?"
"No. Our Holy Woman inspected her. She is healthy."
"This woman is surprised you had a baby at all," said Iga after a moment, pushing aside the "Holy Woman"
comment as a mistranslation. It had to be. Women did not.....But then, women of the Others were so
strange...."After all, isn't your totem Ursus? Ursus cannot be dominated, but then," she motioned quickly in
a gesture of forgiveness to the spirits, "what does this woman know of the spirits?"
Anya held her tongue and stilled her hands. Keeping with Clan tradition and her own vows taken at her
Clan adoption, she refrained from discussing the spirits with other Clan women. She didn't want to anger
any Clan spirits lurking around, either.
"This woman would request the wherabouts of Broud," she gestured instead.
"The leader is inside the Cave, speaking with Goov and Zoug," said Uba, reaching out and stroking little
Joplaya's head. The baby instinctively turned her face towards the stimulation. "He has been awaiting your
arrival today. The Mog-Ur knew you would arrive, that it has been seven days since the birth of your
child."
Anya nodded, making a gesture of gratitude before turning and walking away, once again deferring to Clan
custom--for they had no concept for goodbye.
Somewhat superstitiously, she made a few gestures of protection over herself and her infant before
entering the Cave. Her daughter was not formally recognized by the Clan yet, and had only been
recognized that morning by the other Zelandonii women; Anya did not consider this to be strong protection
or ensurance that her daughter would be safe from the spirits here.
Walking inside the boundaries of the Cave, she spied Broud, Goov, and Zoug gathered at the leader's
hearth, talking. They all looked up at the inevitable silence that followd her entrance into the cave, and
Broud rose as Anya paused at the Hearth boundaries.
She gracefully lowered herself to the floor, crossing her legs and bowing her head to ask permission to
enter and speak. She figured that, as a woman with a newborn daughter, and an unaccepted one at that,
still had dangerous spirits floating about her and it might not be the wisest thing to stride around like a
man with such a girl-infant in arms--until Broud approved of her.
She did not have to wait long for the tap on her shoulder. Carefully she rose, cradling Joplaya close, her
violet eyes just fleetingly looking at the men before looking away again, a proper Clan response for a
woman.
Before he even greeted her, Broud asked a vital question. "Has your blood ceased flowing, Medicine
Woman of Ursus?"
Anya kept her head bowed. "This woman would not have approached the Hearth boundaries of the Clan if
she had still been bleeding birth blood," she pointed out quietly. "This woman would not place men in
danger. She is Medicine Woman."
Broud nodded in satisfaction. "The leader would greet the Medicine Woman of the Others," he gestured.
"He is glad Anya made it through the birth without harm. The baby, Anya, is it a boy or a girl?"
"This woman gave birth to a daughter," she gestured, without the customary gesture of sorrow to go with
it. She wasn't going to be *that* docile. "She will carry on the line of Medicine Women."
"A girl?" gestured Zoug. "This man is surprised the woman had a baby at all. Ursus never allows his essence
to be swallowed by a woman."
"This woman's child is also of the spirit of this woman's mate, Echozar, the man of mixed spirits. He has the
totem of the Dirk-Toothed Tiger. When we were mated, Goov declared that our union was one of partners,
for Ursus cannot be dominated."
"That is true," said Goov. "Such a ceremony is in our most ancient of memories. Only a totem like Echozar's
would be worthy to mix his essence with that of Ursus; it would be the only way Anya could start a new
life within her body."
Broud nodded thoughtfully. "I wish to examine the infant."
Anya shrugged in aquiescence, knowing that this was just part of tradition. She unwrapped her baby and
withdrew her from the sling, holding her up so the two leaders and the Mog-Ur could inspect the infant.
"Are you sure that the father of her spirit is the totem of the man of mixed spirits?" asked Zoug curiously.
"This baby looks like an infant of the Others, or a seriously deformed Clan infant. If it is so badly deformed,
it should not be allowed to live."
Anya had rather expected this comment. "This woman's daughter is healthy. Echozar is the result of spirits
of both Clan and Others. This woman is a woman born to the Others. This woman's daughter would have
much more Others blood than the blood of the Clan in her veins. She has the skin and hair color of the
Clan. She has the beginnings of brow ridges and a minimal occipital knob, but this woman doubts they will
ever be seen on her. Other than that, she has the features of an infant born to the Others."
Broud nodded, accepting this explanation. He saw for himself that, while the baby's bones were thin and
delicate-looking, she was kicking strongly and actively. She had all her fingers and toes, and was a good
color. She could not hold her head up yet, but then, Durc nor his children had been able to, either.
Anya held her breath, awaiting his final word. She did not have to wait long, or she would have turned blue
and fainted.
"Considering her diluted Clan essences, and the essences of the Others, This man can see the infant is
normal. Even if the Medicine woman decides not to have her daughter accepted as a Clan member, she will
be officially recognized as a baby of the Others."
Anya struggled not to let her breath out in one big *whoosh*, suddenly wondering why she had even been
remotely worried. Of course Broud would not really have....
"Has your Mog-Ur given her a name?" gestured Zoug curiously.
"Our Holy Woman does not choose the infant names," Anya explained, seeing Zoug look surpised at the
mention of a female Mog-Ur. Like Iba, she knew he was bound to dismiss it as a mistranslation. "The
mother of the babies recieves that right. This woman named her daughter Jho-pla-yah." Anya exaggerated
the sounds so the men could get some sense of the strange-sounding name. Some of the finer intonations
on the syllables, she had no doubt, were beyond the Clan ability to speak.
Indeed, they looked surprised, and the expressions on their faces as they struggled to wrap their tongues
around the difficult name was almost comic. Anya kept her face neutral. The best they could settle on,
eventually, was Jo-la-ya--and that with difficulty.
Unobtrusively, Goov crept closer and stared at the infant again. Sleepy little eyes opened, and he was
shocked at their vivid violet hue. Those bottomless depths reached into his very core and the hairs on his
neck rise--a silent alarm that demanded his attention--but why? It did not seem threatening, but urgent.
It took everything he had to stifle a true gasp; he could almost see the spirits hovering thickly over this
baby--but were they good or evil? What were the spirits trying to tell him? At any rate, it was clear this
child would not have weak protection, or the spirits would not hover so close about her without trying to
harm her.
He walked away, suddenly feeling the need to meditate. He did not know why he felt this way--but he
sensed clearly that this newborn girl, born to a powerful medicine woman protected by Ursus, would be
very important. The reason why, however, eluded him.
****
Taking a few deep breaths and staring into the fire, Goov allowed himself to be lulled into a meditative
trance. Picturing the blue sky as a medium, he allowed his mind to go completely blank, waiting for
something, the reason for this strange feeling, to come to him.
His eyes remained unblinking as the flames danced in front of him hypnotically. As the world around him
faded, a dull roar filled his ears--and with the flame dancing in his eyes, his mind inert, he shut himself
completely off from the world around him.
After what seemed an eternity, a haunting, unearthly sound penetrated his mind over the dull roar. The
flames in front of him flickered, and roared high as images faded in from the dancing light and took on their
own form.
The first to dance in front of his dark Clan eyes was an image of Anya nursing her baby. Both looked
content and utterly at peace with themselves, causing Goov to wonder why this tranquil domstic scene
made itself known to him. The feeling from before overwhelmed him again, and he settled back, patiently
letting the scene play out. It could lead to something else.
Anya was walking along, making that funny noise in her throat the way Ayla used to do, in order to soothe
the baby. Suddenly, from the mists behind her, loomed a giant figure sauntering along on all fours. Goov
felt struck to his core; it was Ursus himself, in the form of the Cave Bear Anya had befriended and raised
from a cub, the one with the red foot.
Anya paused suddenly, removing the child from her breast and turning to face the beast, completely calm
and without fear. Ursus came up and sniffed the baby, making little growling noises in his throat. The
scene sent chills down Goov's spine.
Suddenly, Ursus gave a satisfied grunt and backed off a ways. Was Ursus content with the fact Anya's
child was a girl? Goov wondered. But he did not draw away from the scene, not yet--he could not move.
Out from behind Ursus came a smaller figure, but that was one of the few differences between it and the
larger figure--for it was a Cave Bear cub. The baby bear came up as Anya knelt down, and the cub sniffed
the baby also--then lifted his head and gave a little squeal. Raising a paw, it raked it's claws over the
infant's tiny arm, in the same area where Anya had scars on hers.
No blood appeared. Goov held his breath as he realized that instead, a sacred substance had been left by
the claws--red ochre paste. The baby did not cry, and no scars appeared, but the streaks of red ochre, in
the same placement as Anya's scars, spoke out as clearly as if they had been blood. Goov froze at the
realization that was beginning to dawn upon him.
As though obeying a silent command, Anya also held out her scarred arm where she carried the claw marks
of the Cave Bear. The giant bear with the red paw also ran his claws over the scars, leaving streaks of red
ochre that glowed a deep, vivid red, as if they had a life of their own.
Goov gasped when mother and baby both turned their heads and looked directly at him, their violet-blue
eyes piercing him to his very core, the very centre of his Clan existence. What shook his soul even more
were the streaks of even more red ochre on their faces, placed in the manner of a Clan naming ceremony!
Utterly shaken, and almost completely overwhelmed by the spirit world, Goov at last let the images fade
out and the real world fade back in. His teeth were actually chattering at what the vision was implying to
him.
Ursus himself was dictating that Anya's daughter would follow in the footsteps of her mother and
grandmother, and carry the sign of the bear as Anya did. If she lived, she would be a great medicine
woman. She would hunt, be one of the best. And she, like the lineage before her, was destined to make a
significant impact upon the lives of the Clan. He had a feeling that this could even be the tip of the
iceberg, but he was unable to fathom any more--he was much too shaken. He could not let this slide--he
had to tell Broud at once!
What *CAN* I do?" Broud gestured impatiently as he continued to pace. What Goov had related to him
unnerved him as much as it had done the Holy Man. "One woman of the Others was admitted to benefit my
Clan--even elevated to the status of Honorary Male to satisfy her blood origins and keep Ursus happy.
Now her daughter, one with *clan* spirits mixed with her Others heritage--she is to be the same? It's the
Clan blood, Goov! Anya was more protected, she does not have our blood in her veins. Her child does! A
Clan woman *cannot* have Ursus for a totem! Even if word of this got out, it will give our women ideas
that they can do what they cannot do! Surely Ursus meant to tell you something else!"
Goov remained calm. Nobody, not even Brun, could fault Broud's extreme reaction, even though Broud had
long since gained the stoticism that had eluded him in his youth. It was a concept to defy the imagination
and challenge the very core of the Clan way. But Goov knew what he saw.
"Ursus never lies," he signaled with such finality. "I have never seen a vision that stood out so clearly.
That child must be accepted into the Clan as a member. With the same rank as her mother. I only know
that....somehow....she is going to be significant. Ursus has chosen her." He looked thoughtful. "Why don't
we see how it plays out? I have never had a false vision before, so we could wait a short while, and you
could make your decision then."
Broud, his mind weary, agreed on the condition that Goov tell no one what they had just discussed, or
what he had seen in his vision. He needed to put this peculiarity aside for awhile, until his mind cleared,
and then he needed to think about what to do next. This was no small matter.
****
There was one girl of the visiting Clan that Anya had been watching out of the corner of her eye these
past few days she had been allowed outside again. The child was, perhaps, seven years old, approaching
womanhood in the Clan. Her body had even begun to show faint signs of change. She seemed like any
other Clan girl at first glance, but Anya very quickly realized that she was treated differently.
Anya learned by discreet inquiry that this girl's parents treated this child very badly. At birth, she had
stolen her mother's ability to bear more children. Thus, she was an only child of her mother's body, and
she was blamed for being the direct cause of her mother's inability to bear a son for her mate. The
woman's mate had taken a second woman to bear more boys, but this second woman's two sons had been
stillborn. All three seemed to think that it was this girl's influence as a bad-luck child that was somehow
the cause, and she bore the brunt of all their frustration.
Anya also learned that many believed the girl to be unlucky, few approved of the lengths the older ones at
her hearth punished and beat her for the least infraction. The girl walked with a slump and had no pride in
herself, and she constantly bore bruises.
There was disapproval of this, however, which was what probably kept the girl alive. Few people of the
Clan were so harsh towards women and girls--it was considered beneath their dignity to show so much
emotion, or to get so worked up over a mere girl, or beat her so hard.
Sure, a woman might be cuffed if she was lazy or disrespectful to a man, which this girl, named Ava, never
tried to be. However, most men never lost their temper with women in such a fashion, but a man's rights
over the women of his hearth were strong. The leader of the girl's hearth, though, was a low-ranking
warrior, and Anya did not wonder if it was his loss of emotional control that contributed to it.
It distressed Anya to see this poor girl being worn ragged by her family's unrelenting demand, trying
desperately to be a perfect Clan girl and win their favor. Nobody could really do anything for her--she was
unlucky. Anya feared any minor incident involving the girl could end up with her being death-cursed.
Anya herself was not sure herself what she could do. She refrained from reprimanding the girl, and in the
subtle manner of the Clan, extended her friendship to the child and praised her for her efforts
Clan-style--her attention was gratefully recieved by the confused child, and the girl soon stayed around
the powerful medicine woman for protection whenever Anya ventured into the Clan encampment.
Sometimes opprotunity presents itself at just the right moment, Anya was to muse later.
Anya was out in the Clan encampment, near the edge. She was trailed by Luna, her wolf puppy--though
nearly full-grown by now--and as a further result, children playing with the happy girl-pup.
A familiar rumble reached Anya's ears suddenly, and she turned in the direction of the nearby wooded
area, smiling. She knew exactly what was causing that noise. She went forward to greet the red-footed
Cave Bear she had raised from a cub from so long ago.
Tying her daughter securely to her body, she boldy approached her bear friend. He wagged his head
happily upon seeing her, and sniffed her all over--pausing when he smelled Joplaya's baby smell.
The whole Clan, who had frozen the moment the bear had lumbered so boldy into view, were even more
shocked at the bear's actions.
The bear sniffed the baby a few more times, then gave a happy and satisfied grunt. Very, *very* gently,
he nuzzled the baby, seeming to accept the infant for whom she was. He then backed away and, without
a signal from Anya, hunkered down in a clear gesture for her to get on his back like old times.
Anya heard the murmers in the crowd as she swung herself up onto the bear's enormous back. Guiding him
gently with her knees, she turned him around and led him slowly towards the Clan.
"He will not hurt you," she gestured to the astonished children of Zoug's Clan. "Once in a while, he lets a
special person, besides me, ride him. It shows great honor, and it is good to be chosen by Ursus."
At this, of course, many of the boys wanted to ride, it showed in their eyes. They wanted to prove their
bravery and prestiege to their friends. Such an incident could bear weight in their favor for years to come.
However, an odd idea sprang into Anya's mind.
"Come," she beckoned to Ava, who was watching with a wishful glance. The child blinked, surprised, and
did not move. The bear, seeming to sense what Anya had in mind, went directly to the girl.
Ava right then proved her bravery by not screaming and running away, like most girls would have done.
She stood quietly, awed, as the huge bear sniffed her gently and gave the well-known grunt of approval.
Anya once again made no signal as the bear hunkered down.
"Did you tell him to do that?" the child gestured in astonishment. "He smiffed me, and did not attack me!"
"No, I did not," said Anya honestly, surprised herself at the bear's actions. Where had this come from? "He
singled you out himself. He wants you to ride him."
Dazed, the girl allowed Anya to pull her aboard so she towered above everyone else. She was on the back
of Ursus--she, an unlucky girl never shown favor by the spirits, was riding, directly in contact with the
holiest of all that was Clan.
Ava was unable to stop the pure delight from entering her eyes as Ursus rose up on all fours, towering high
above the heads of all the Clan. Turning, he sauntered off a ways before turning around and walking back.
Anya could see the girl's parents in the crowd, watching, their expressions a mixture of fear and
astonishment.
When Ursus hunkered down again, Anya and Ava sliding off his back, a strange chill ran down Anya's spine.
She stilled, then gestured, "Wait!"
To her own astonishment, she suddenly seemed to no longer have control of her hands. Anya drew her
knife and quickly slashed off a length of shaggy fur from Ursus's hide. The bear stood patiently, unafraid of
the weapon. In fact, he was serenly still, as if he knew that he was there for an important purpose.
Not knowing why she no longer had control of her hands, Anya's fingers rapidly twisted the length of fur
into a miniature shape of a Cave Bear.
All at once, Anya had an inkling of what the spirits were trying to tell her.
"Give me your finger," she instructed Ava. The girl obeyed, and made no obvious movement when Anya
took the knife again and made a quick slice in her finger, just enough to draw an amount of blood to soak
the cave bear charm Anya had just made. The blood, mingling with the sacred fur of the Cave Bear,
effectively tied the girl to the charm. Any part of a cave bear offered powerful protection from malicious
spirits, and this charm would indicate that Ava was one of the totem. The token was effectively sealed
when the bear sniffed the charm and gave a roar of approval that all watching recognized. Not a soul
moved; the power of the moment was too intense. Anya herself could hear her own heartbeat thudding in
her ears.
"Put it in your amulet," she gestured to the girl. "It is yours to keep."
Ava obeyed with trembling fingers that shook as she tried to undo the knots on the little leather bag that
held her amulet closed. She at last managed to undo her amulet and slipped the sacred token inside,
before tying it shut.
Even Goov, watching from a secluded spot nearby, shuddered inwardly at the glazed, reflective look that
had filled Anya's eyes. The air about her and the girl Ava seemed frigid and unapproachable by him or
anyone else, as if powerful spirits were standing guard over them, allowing nobody to interfere with what
Anya had just done.
Anya shuddered as she felt the unseen spirit at last give her control of her body back to her. Why had
Ursus have her do that? she wondered. It almost seemed outside Clan jurisdiction and yet embodied the
Clan at the same time. What had Ursus seen in the child? Had he seen what she herself saw?
One thing Anya felt for certain, she need never again worry about Ava's well-being. The girl would never
again suffer from such abuse as she had endured most of her life. No one would dare intentionally hurt her
again, outside of accepted discipline for a woman. Ava was now under too powerful a protection for
that--even if Ursus was not her totem. He had made it clear that she was under his protection, a concept
still acceptable for a Clan women, even if having him for a personal totem was not.
Broud came stomping up through the crowd, his face a mixture of awe, fear, and a hint of total panic.
"How did you do that? What made you think of that?" he fairly demanded as he strode up to Anya and
Ava. Ava looked down docily in the presence of a Clan leader, but stayed where she was.
"I do not know," Anya admitted. "It was as if....a spirit, Ursus, took control of my body. I only knew that
the girl had powerful spirits protecting her, but nobody recognized it. I do not know where my actions
came from, except it was from the spirit realm. I only knew I had to do it, whether I wanted to or not--I
lost complete control of my body."
It was completely true. Anya would never forget the feeling of invisible spirits taking ahold of her body and
guiding her fingers as she made the charm, and tied the girl to it. And she now knew that never again
could the girl be intentionally harmed beyond basic discipline, and she could mate only a man of high
status from now on. That one token had boosted her status up to near that of Medicine Woman.
The day ended with a dazed Clan going to bed. For the first time, Ava was experiencing respect from
those who had helped create her, for they now understood that she was guided by powerful spirits. Like a
good Clan girl, she readily forgave them for her earlier mistreatment, for this was the Clan way and she
would never have to suffer from it again.
****
Even before Broud could sign one word, Goov knew what he was thinking. It was in his eyes--the awe, the
fear. Any doubts Broud might have had about Anya and her child, it had been shattered, completely
shattered, by what they had seen on the outskirts of the Clan encampment.
"What she did," Broud's hands trembled, "Was it even within Clan custom? She is....I don't know, Goov!"
"It was within Clan custom," Goov signed gravely. "Not at first appearance, but Anya is not only a medicine
woman, she is a Holy Woman of the Others, and she is, for lack of a better word, a female Mog-Ur--I can
no longer deny this. Ursus chose her long ago. Her powers are becoming more evident as time goes on,
haven't you noticed? She was not saying untrue words when she said that a spirit, most likely Ursus, took
ahold of her body when she bestowed such protection on the girl Ava. Only one with the true power and
protection of Ursus can bestow that kind of power on others. Even though Anya is a woman, she has this
power." Goov shuddered. "And she has passed it on to her infant. The baby met with Ursus's approval
when Anya held her up to him, didn't she? Even when Anya was on the bear's back and when she was
giving the amulet to Ava, and Ursus made so much noise--the baby was not frightened. It is as my vision
told me of. Anya's daughter is chosen of the Cave Bear the same as her mother. Accepting the baby into
the Clan as a full member would only bring good luck to us, Broud."
"Anya might have reservations about that," Broud reminded his Mog-Ur, swallowing the last of his fear. "I
have no doubt she will not abide having her daughter treated like a Clan woman. She will teach her
daughter to hunt and follow in her footsteps, even become a server of their beliefs. Such a woman of
herself would not be accepted into the Clan as a woman, remember?"
"With the totem of Ursus, the child could not be treated as a mere woman in any case," said Goov. "With
such a powerful protector condoning such matters, I doubt the spirits would be angry by her doing what
her mother and her people would do. If it would make you feel any better, I will arrange to have the child
accepted as an honorary male once she is old enough, so she will share her mother's position. I know she
has Clan blood, but the blood of her mother's people is a much stronger influence, and may outweigh any
Clan tendencies she might have."
"And if she has the memories?"
"Then so be it, I somehow doubt that will stop her from acting outside the bounds of a Clan woman." Goov
drew in a deep breath. "Let me tell you something, Broud, something I have sensed more than once, but
came in strongest during my most recent vision. The line that Ayla started, and others like her, will have a
deep impact on the Clan. How, I do not know. But I can tell you that nothing evil will come of it. I only
know it is something very, very signifcant, and will ensure that the Clan way is kept alive, no matter where
we are or what people we encounter."
****
Shortly thereafter, the day of the Woman's Ceremony loomed ahead. Anya had a couple of brief
arguements with her mother and Zelandoni, who were both unsure that she should travel that dangerous
realm again when she had a newborn infant to take care of.
Anya was adamant that she again participate in the woman's ritual.
"I must continue to do this," she said firmly. "Else the Mother be displeased. She compels me to travel this
realm, Zelandoni. I dare not refuse the Mother's heedings. Or that of my own totem. It's like playing with
fire."
"Especially with someone of your power," mused Zelandoni. She had heard the story of what Anya had
done with Ava and Ursus, and she did not doubt the young woman in the least. Her power was too great
and too apparent. "You and Ayla often cause me to wonder if either of you are the Mother, incarnate,
though you both deny it. I cannot deny that you both have Donii-like powers, and if the spirits tell you to
take this dangerous road, though it can kill you, I cannot say no, can I? Besides, you and Ayla are the
only ones who know how to make the ritual drink."
"It will be dangerous," Anya conceded. "I never thought to get as close to death as I did last summer. But
Echozar pulled me through. He can again. His love is too strong for it *not* to do so. If my spirit were to
be lost, he would be travelling the spirit planes soon afterwards. In a sense, I would never be lost. I am
doing this."
****
The day of the Woman's Ceremony dawned bright and clear. Anya twisted her hands nervously as she
wrapped the simple wrap about her body. She knew that the Clan would be watching. Word of this
ceremony had indeed spread, as she had feared, and this time, they were all here, and not away on a
hunt like last year.
She shivered as a wind, unfelt by anyone else, ran up her spine. Why did this year feel so....well,
forbidding? As if something unexpected, or drastic, would happen if she did this? Only to herself did she
admit she was even more afraid than her own mother was, but she dared not back out. The pull by Ursus
and the Mother was stronger; she would have to do this if it killed her. So she forced her chattering teeth
to still and closed her eyes, slowing down her breathing and praying to Doni to also calm the rapid tatoo of
her heart.
A soft rustling was heard behind her, and she nearly jumped out of her skin. She whirled, on edge--only to
sag in relief as she was confronted with her beloved Echozar, holding their newborn daughter as if he
would never dare to let her go.
The haunted look in his deep brown Clan eyes was obvious, and she knew full well he did not relish going
through this again. He could not forbid her from following the decree of the Mother, but his fear was
understandable--it probably matched her own at leaving him, and everyone else she loved, behind,
probably forever.
"Hey," she said softly to him, not knowing what else to say.
"Hey," he answered back, struggling with his words. What if this was the last time he saw her alive--his
special Donii-woman? His older two children were grown now, she and Joplaya were his entire world. "I--I
thought that you might want to see our girl one more time before you--did this."
Despite herself, tears filled Anya's eyes, and her throat choked up at the desperate fear and pain of loss in
Echozar's sad eyes.
"Oh, Echozar!" she cried, and flung herself foward without another word. His free arm encircled her, and he
held her gently, but close, the only thing breaching their bodies was the tiny, cooing little bundle that Doni
had graced their love-borne union with. Their arms encircled each other, Joplaya securely in the middle,
and they stood there silently, an unbreakable cirlce of love that could not be shattered by anything--even
if Anya were lost to the void.
"I will not let you be lost," he murmured huskily against her soft curls. "I will call you back, my
Donii-woman--I promise. You will not be lost to me."
"I know you will," her murmer drifted upwards to gently brush his ears. "You did last year, otherwise I
would not be here now. It can be done again. Donii would not have blessed us with this bond for no good
reason, Echozar. I *promise* I will try and come back safely. Don't--don't give up on me."
She heard his inhaled gasp. "You feel it too then?" he breathed. "This time is going to be--different?"
He felt her bare nod. "It does not mean that I will be lost to the void," she assured him. "Just call,
Echozar. I will find you. I will try with all my heart and soul. You and our Joplaya."
Without another word, he tilted her face upwards and pressed his lips against hers, hard. Explosive tingles
ran down her spine and radiated to her toes, reminding her how alive she was now, and how cold and
numb the dreaded void was--and how she could spend eternity there.
"I will be back, Echozar, for you and our daughter," she breathed ferverently. "I will be back!"
****
The hypnotic drumbeats filled the air as the trio of women settled in to perform this dangerous ceremony
that would attempt to steal their life force even as it revealed untold secrets to those who dared travel
the narrow link to another place, another time, another realm.
A Woman Who Served began to chant a protective incantation in the background, and just before the
hypnotic effect of the background sounds completely stole Anya's awareness, her deep blue eyes met her
mother's. Only in the deepest recesses of her mother's flint-colored orbs did Anya see the fear Ayla was so
desperately trying to hide and overcome. After so many years, the terror was still very, very real for her.
And having experienced this the year before, Anya could well understand and empathize.
A faint, reassuring smile swept Ayla's lips, reflecting in Anya's eyes and was returned when her daughter's
mouth curved upwards just slightly.
The roar from the background chants Anya could no longer push away, and she let the sounds overwhelm
her, stealing her ability to feel the fear she had felt before. The only thing that remained clear in her mind
was the purpose of this gathering: to Honor the Mother and perform this sacred ceremony for women only.
The trio of women had agreed some time before that Anya would again prepare the sacred drink, as she
had before. Anya felt that she needed the practice; this was too sacred a ceremony for her to perform
with dulled skills. The drink was much too sacred to make for everyday practice--Anya could not even
begin to fathom the vengence of the spirits if she dared to breach such a taboo.
As Zelandoni raised her arms towards the setting sun, chanting and asking, in this tongue known only to
One Who Served, for protection as they made this dangerous journey, Anya was subconsciously aware of
the watching Clan. Among others, she sensed the edgy calm of Durc and Brun, who had seen this already;
and slightly uncomprehending stoticism of Goov and.....Broud. Only the barest tint of iciness ran down her
spine before the background chants dulled her awareness of him, too.
Anya arched her back, raising her arms to the sky. In one of the most sacred dialects of One Who Served,
unknown by those outside this holy order, she again asked Doni and Ursus to guide her hands and her
heart, so she would not make a mistake and place those she cared for in even further danger.
Slowly, as if in a fluid dance, she lowered her arms to reach for the waterskin of hot water that had been
placed beside her by a girl untouched by a man's essence and lifeforce. Holding the bag before her, she
lowered her head in a submissive gesture to the Mother and the spirits before opening the waterbag and
pouring the contents into the sacred medicinal bowl in front of her.
It was eerie, as if her mind had seperated from her body, and she was moving to the tune of unseen
hands. The water she poured into the bowl steamed dangerously still; she did not care.
The tempo of the chanting slowed, and Anya felt her pulse skyrocket as her awareness of the world
around her returned just slightly. Her violet eyes were still glazed over as she automatically, but with deep
reverence, reached for her otterskin medicine pouch and removed the red bag containing the sacred root.
Oddly, this time around her fear had not returned to her as she placed the sacred roots in her mouth and
used her teeth to break down the tough fibres. Lacking a Clan Woman's heavier jaws more adapted to this
activity; it was tough work. She had to strive hard not to let the potent juices drizzle down her throat as
the root was ground down to a pulp. This sort of thing had led to her mother's first disasterous experience
with the root those years ago at the clan gathering; she did not want to take any chances of the drug
messing with her senses yet. She could make a cruicial mistake.
Again, as she chewed the root, she sensed the deep shock of the watching Clan as realization dawned on
them what she was doing. This awareness was a small spark in the back of her mind, and she was too far
gone to stop now, even had she wanted to. She was still oddly unafraid.
Bending fowards, Anya spat the ground-up roots into the medicine bowl, only vaguely aware of how
horrible the roots had tasted. True consideration did not cross her mind as her fingers made contact with
the warm water, stirring it around as the liquid turned white.
As if by instinct, Anya performed the other secret measures to the liquid before she deemed it ready for
use.
Anya's fingers slid from the liquid to the bowl's undersides, lifting it up as she rose slowly to her feet.
Dimly, she saw Ayla and Zelandoni rise also; Zelandoni's hands were suddenly there removing the bowl
from her hands.
The First among Those Who Served raised the bowl to her lips and drank her share of the bitter brew in
one draught. Her face expressionless, she handed the bowl to Ayla, who seemed to just barely steel
herself before she also drank her share of the dangerous drug.
It seemed long, tense moments before the bowl was back in Anya's hands. She did not realize that her
hands had turned clammy even before she raised the bowl to her lips, only then feeling a tingle of
uncertain fear.
Not pausing to dwell on it, she raised the bowl to her lips and drank the rest of the bitter brew, down to
the last drop.
Again she felt tense moments slide by. The medicine bowl was not in her hands any longer; she could not
remember what she had done with it. Her heartbeat picked up speed; she felt a wild tremor slam her legs
as she was lost in a tidal wave, drowning under the potent force of the mind-altering drug, which swept
her mind from this realm of existence even as it caused her body to whirl around wildly. She, Zelandoni,
and Ayla whirled this frantic dance for a full minute before they collapsed; the color fleeing their bodies
and their limbs becoming still. They did not move again.
****
Echozar's heart siezed up with an irrepressible feeling of terror as he watched his beloved mate collapse.
In his arms Joplaya clearly sensed his distress, for her little face turned red as she let out a loud cry of
terror. Automatically, he rocked her to soothe her as best he could, but the frantic pounding of his heart
was sending frightening, contradictory messages to the unhappy baby.
*She knows,* he thought dimly. *She knows her mother is in danger. Anya, my love, why did the Mother
decree that you do this?*
Even though the fallen women did not move, and took on a ghostly pallor, he did not interfere, not yet.
Last year, it had been gut instinct that told him the exact moment to move; to jump in and save Anya's
life. He wondered if he would be as lucky this time around.
*I won't let you leave me and Joplaya, my Donii-woman,* he vowed silently. *You will come back to me!*
The baby in his arms refused to be comforted, all Echozar could do was hold her close and soothe her as
best as he could. She snuggled against him and rubbed her little face against his tunic, seeking comfort in
his presence, though she still whimpered.
****
It was all poor Joharran could do, with some tall talking and fast signs, to convince the watching men that
what they were seeing was not as forbidden as it appeared.
"We're doomed!" Broud gestured, not ceasing his frantic pacing. "They have doomed the Clan with their
unorthodox behaivor! What are we going to do now?!"
He was beyond shocked when Brun and Durc took Joharran's side, at last calmly revealing that they had
seen this the year before, and nothing had happened. When Broud stilled, stunned, they went on to point
out that the spirits had not deserted them, and indeed, the presence of spirits around Ayla and her
descendents was stronger than ever.
He at last calmed down a little. "You say this is a woman's ceremony," he gestured slowly, trying to
control his breathing and grateful he was not as prone to violent outbursts as he once was. "Ayla did bring
the root to your people, did she not?"
"Yes," said Joharran. "Our First among Those Who Serve recieved a vision that the Mother sanctioned it for
our use by the women. They are the only ones who can travel safely among the realms--men have to be
guided. I have no doubt it is different for Clan men, but this ceremony is strictly for women trained to
Serve. Only Ayla and Anya know the secrets contained in the root--not even Zelandoni is privy to this
secret."
Broud gradually calmed down, resigning himself to the fact he could not control the spirits. Neither he nor
anybody else noticed Goov get up and quietly slip away.
****
The absence of light was so thorough that Anya almost lost awareness of herself. At least....when she
had *regained* awareness of her self to any degree. She felt completely disembodied, unaware of any
natural bodily sensation. Not her fingers, not her toes. Only the sense of Deja Vu, for she had been here
once before, quelled her from total panic at being alone.
*Is anybody out there?*
Slowly, through the piercing silence and eternal darkness, two whispers of....something else stretched
towards her. Eagerly, she reached for them, and when one thread became clear in her mind, she
recognized it as Zelandoni.
*Don't be afraid, child. I am here.*
Anya thought she had never "sensed" a more reassuring tone from the First's mind. *Zelandoni, where is
Momma? Isn't she here?*
*Expand your mind carefully, child. Can you not sense her presence making her way towards us? Listen
carefully.*
Mentally nodding, Anya strained to obey Zelandoni. The other thread that pierced the darkness around
them was slower to come, as if unsure where to find them. Anya pushed closer, struggling to grasp the
thread and pull it towards her, and at last, she heard words, as if distant echoes were gradually becoming
louder.
*....Anya....Zelandoni....where....is everyone....?*
*Momma! We're here. We made it. Momma!* Her daughter's echoing mental call was sudden, and loud
enough to catch Ayla's attention. Relief swept over the woman as she struggled towards the essence
frantically calling her. She was ashamed; after all these years her fear still prevented her from searching
for Zelandoni every time she entered this place.
And it was sweet, if temporary, relief when her awareness clashed with those of her daughter and the
Holy Woman. Ayla held on frantically, terrified to let go.
*It's okay, Momma,* Anya sent, hoping to quell Ayla's fears. She was puzzled; she did not feel half the
fear Ayla was feeling--at least, not yet. *Let's explore. We're all here. It is never the same twice, is it?*
Ayla unsuccessfully suppressed a mental shudder. *No. It never is. The things Zelandoni and I have
seen....most we will never understand. As if the spirits were showing us the forbidden but not telling us
what it means, or why. I suppose that is their way.*
Anya could suddenly "see" a light in the distance, and she felt puzzlment sweeping over her. She sensed a
fourth presence approaching them, but whom? Or....what? It was just appearing out of nowhere, and the
sense she could feel was not in the least familiar.
The presence was on them so fast they had little time to react. *There is one more who wishes to join
you, if it is agreeable,* sent a suddenly semi-familiar, male presence.
In Anya's "mind's eye" suddenly flashed two images--one of a powerful lynx totem, and the other of Ursus,
both echoing with strong masculine qualities. Plus the male tone. Who else she knew could possibly
intercede here, but one person?
*....Goov?*
*It is I, Woman Guarded by Ursus. Creb long ago taught me to come here without benefit of the root
drink--it is something few trained Mog-Urs can do. I again ask permission to join you.*
*....You know then, what we are doing....* Ayla sent weakly. *Why are you asking to join us?*
*Now I understand Creb's distance from you during his last years, Woman Who Hunts,* Goov responded.
*The year of the Clan Gathering you breached this realm for the first time--you, a Clan Woman. Creb
feared you had doomed the Clan for all time.....but I also understand now why he felt that instead, you
may have started the process to save our kind. My dreams are starting to make sense now. That is why I
wish to join you.*
*Will you condemn us for using the Root in our sacred ceremonies?* Anya enquired, fascinated.
*No. A terrible cataclysm would have indeed befallen your people if it was wrong for you to use the root
by now. Spirits are often swift in their judgement--and to them, had they not wanted you to do this, the
crime would be so horrible there could not have been punishment enough for the Others. I think, however,
there is much more to this.*
*You may join us,* said Zelandoni. *However, I do not know if we will be able to remain together the
entire trip.*
*I am willing to risk it.....if it will mean clues as to what Ursus, indeed your Earth Mother, has in store for
the Clan and the Others. It may be more than we could ever fathom.*
****
****A quick note: I have been toying with the notions of revealing Ayla's mysterious past (Her pre-Clan
days) for some time, but I don't want to ruin the mystery of Ayla, either. What you will eventually read in
this section is how I comprimised the notion.****
*As a man of the clan, I am assuming you do not need guidance here,* sent Zelandoni. *Unlike men of the
Others.*
*I do not, I have been here before. Come, though, let us explore....I want to see what it is like through
the eyes of the Others.*
At last, Anya felt herself beginning the painful transformation process. It came upon them suddenly, once
they were quiet. Had their mental chatter held the magic at bay, she wondered?
Her spirit expanded suddenly, as if ripping across a small but ever-widening gulf. When Goov had first
arrived, she had felt a thin but distinct wall between them, she now understood it was because of how
different they were.
But no longer. The force of her spirit, and the magic around her, shattered the wall, and she became truly
one with the Clan, alive with the Memories that guided their daily lives. She was a very ancient Clan
woman, before the days of female subservience, when the Clan way was still forming and change for them
was not so painful. She stared into a pool at her reflection, seeing even heavier jaws and a heavily-built,
stocky stature--this, was this the ancestress that seperated from the rest of the Clan, gone on to new
lands and evolved gradually into ones known as the Others--a people who had lost the Memories, who
instead had forebrains adequate enough for learning and growing even more?
By the woman's side was a Clan male, and he seemed to look at the primitive Clan female who was Anya,
and he pointed to a glacier in the distance and said one word. "Durc."
Even Goov was amazed. *This is something that was never before revealed to me,* he sent, awed. *I
knew that the Others were human, like us....but I had no idea how closely we were related. Durc! Is
that....is that the Durc of the ledgend? One of our oldest...countless ages old....can it be this is what
happened to him and those who went with him? They did not die, as legend had it.....they went on and
your kind....somehow sprang from them? It doesn't seem possible....*
Anya and Ayla both would have drawn in a sharp breath, if they could have. This....this ancient
connection....Anya searched the memories of the woman she temporarily was, and understood immediately
that it was true. Durc, and those who followed him, had defied Clan tradition and left, but had survived.
Over the eons they had changed, their descendents taking on a slightly altered shape, and had only in
recenet melennia returned to the land of Memories they no longer recognized. If only everyone else could
know this now, Anya mused. Nobody again would question the fact that the Clan were also human, and
they all shared the same ancient roots.
A bright light overcame her, and a searing pain swept through Anya's mind. It was so sudden, and ripped
her from awareness so abruptly, that the darkness that overcame her again was a welcome relief.
****
When the first sharp sting of the evoloutionary process stabbed her mind, Anya awakened to find her spirit
crammed into the body of a microscopic protocell--a tiny particle of matter that had experienced one
chemical change in its anatomy, the one that drew a DNA sequence together and allowed it to truly
become alive.
She was in an ocean, deep down away from the sun and the deadly surface air. She could not yet tolerate
oxygen, it was a foreign substance that would instantly poison and kill her. A surge of pain and
constricting overwhelmed her, and she split in two.
Why had she split? There were two of her now. What was the point? Even she did not know for sure, for in
this primal state, a tiny cell didn't consider such things, they just did it. Their DNA spoke for them, but not
in words, just actions.
The seas around her were growing more complex, and there were thousands upon untold thousands of her
kind, and many others by now. The surface of the ocean was still a dangerous place, but with all the
competition, Anya knew she would have to have more help in order to survive.
So over the eons she formed the ability to work together with other cells, all of them performing a
different task for the benefit of them all. It was not too long before she was a primitive worm in the
ocean.
When that was not enough, she changed shape again and sprouted fins. There were plants around her
that were now not afraid of the deadly surface--they had even learned to use filtered sunlight to their
advantage to create food. She, as a fish, had learned to use the *plants* for food, too, lest too much
grow and choke up the world she knew.
The oceans grew crowded, and life became endlessly diverse in the oceans. The oceans, in fact, were full
to bursting, and many deadly predators stalked the waters. As her DNA changed again, the first amphibian
that was Anya looked at the surface, and where land met the water, with new interest.
The first breath of air from her newly evloved lung sent Anya into spasms. The lung had grown from a
random mutation in her DNA, and just as randomly she had decided to use it on the surface. Was it this
difficult for the Mother to have life change so? And yet, why then were there so many different animals, if
change seemed so painful?
Despite the fiery pain, the new lung tolerated surface air, and soon, evolution ensured that amphibians
could move onto land for the first time. It did not seem long at all--only a few million years that whipped
by in seconds--for animal life to etch out a permanent cornerstone on this new realm of the world, land.
Anya continued to evolve, and change. Anya once again reverberated with racial echoes she had no idea
existed in her body, but all that she was experiencing were secrets held in her DNA, though she had no
word or real concept for it. She only knew that these secrets were somehow held in the body of every
living person, secrets that could no longer be accessed, not even by the Clan--except in this manner.
Anya continued to change, becoming aware of animals she had not known had ever existed, even the last
time she had made this journey. Her legs straightened, grew longer, and her arms became shorter. She
rose to towering heights, roaring as a giant reptile in search of it's meal. All around her she observed other
animals like her, and yet unlike her. These mighty beasts were so successful for so long, it still shocked
Anya when their world came to an abrupt and fiery end from a blazing light from the sky, a light that
extinguished much of life on Earth.
Cold seeped in, and the reason some life survived was because it was small life, very small, but equipped
for the years-long winter that would lay ahead as the sun vanished from the sky.
The true dawn of the mammals had arrived.
From these tiny, intelligent creatures was destined to evolve Anya's own species. It took countless millions
of years for the necessary evoloutionary changes to take shape--her eyes moved towards the front of her
head, her clawed paws grew and changed shape, and her body became more aligned as she took to the
treetops as one of the first true primates. Her brain grew, too, and it was a good thing it happened. This
blissful period was not to last for long, and as the trees faded away, grasslands took their place. Now the
primates had no cover and no protection, and they began to really rely on these larger brains to help them
devise new ways of survival.
They grew taller, their legs aligned and their pelvises changed. They walked upright, leaving their hands
free to carry things--like children.
Or tools.
Someone smashed a bone with a rock, trying to get at the marrow inside. When the rock shattered,
leaving sharp edges, the person looked at the rock with new interest, ideas forming in their minds for it's
possible uses. True sentience seeded the minds of these individuals, and at last, a true route to humanity
was formed.
With this sentience came the ability to truly utilize the memories, adding to them knowledge of fire, how to
use other animals for not only food, but tools, bowls, cups, and other things that could be used to aid
survival. Homo Sapiens Neanderthalensis had been born.
For a time, Anya still felt her destiny and Goov's remain the same. But it would not be for long, for the era
of Durc, and those who followed him, flashed by all too soon. With a shattering abruptness, she felt her
destiny and that of the Clan split. They were still side-by-side, true, but the Clan remained unswerving,
changing little as time went on. Goov watched with interest as Durc's descendants grew taller, more
adaptable to their environment, and tolerated change easily.
Their memories, he noted, faded into oblivion, taking on the same shadowy, unrecallable essence of the
most primitive echoes of life long since gone. To his own surprise, he discovered that they still *had* the
memories within them somehow, they just had lost the ability to recall them as time went on, for the
memories were no longer needed by them. he also came to understand that all was lost for the memories
of the Others, save for extreme circumstances--babies still had a partial door to this past, for at birth,
their whole lives were dependent on instinct. But as their forebrains were used more and more, and they
were able to manipulate their world more independently, the door closed almost entirely, shutting out this
one window to the past. The ability to recall the memories faded into something vaguely identified as base
instincts and impulses.
Even then, there was one more way the Memories could resurface, but not consciously. When the
adrenaline surged, and life was often threatened, or something that put the person on total alert, caused
them to act without even consciously thinking of it--as if they knew what to do without anyone telling
them. This was faint memory shadows that, on this last leg, could still resurface in this limited fashion,
unrecognized and unappreciated, Goov mused, but there.
They were rapdily approaching the present. Anya sensed herself approaching a time and place that
involved the birth of her own mother. The last time she had traveled this path, she had sensed the birth of
her own mother, but had not seen the face or known the people that bore her. It was something that
eternally confused both Anya and Ayla, who often--especially of late--wondered, exactly, the name of the
people she had been born to.
Groping for Ayla's presence, Anya turned her attention to what she was seeing. Was the block on Ayla's
mind the reason she had never seen this for herself in these travels? Anya wondered.
She did not have to tell Ayla what she wanted her to see, Ayla sensed it. Anya had been right: her
inability to remember had always kept all but the barest glimpses of her past from her, even when traveling
through time through use of the drug. Would seeing it through Anya's eyes, her own daughter by blood,
give new insights?
A scene unfolded around them, misty and not quite clear, but Anya could make out a stream, surrounded
by trees. A femenine form walked among them, head bent, long wavy blonde hair hiding her face. Two
hands rested on a heavily swollen abdomen, enough to tell both watching women she was very pregnant.
Ayla's eyes widened (figuratively speaking), and her spirit immediately made a connection she had never
before felt. A flood of relief and longing swept her all at once, though her mind remained blank. Her heart
spoke for her. Her mother. That was her mother!
The woman was humming as she went along, and the watching pair caught a glimpse of two smaller forms
following her. One was a sturdy boy around five years old. His face turned in the direction of the invisible
women, and they could clearly see his face, not unlike Ayla's.
The other was a toddler maybe around two years old. It was a girl-child, with golden hair and flint-colored
eyes like Ayla's, though her facial features were somewhat different.
*The children look like you, Momma!* Anya sent in wonder. *Was it possible you had siblings at one
point?*
Ayla struggled with her memory, but the mists of time refused to thin out and yeild any personal light. Only
the vaguest sense of deja-vu was any indication that what she was seeing had anything to do with her.
Neither Ayla nor Anya could see the woman's face yet, until the woman gasped and doubled over. The
unnamed woman drew in a sharp breath and cried out, and her face lifted, turning.
Flint colored eyes looked sharply in their direction, as if she sensed somebody there watching her. She
looked puzzled, then shook her head over another pain. She called something in an unintelligible language
at the boy, and he nodded his tow-colored head and ran off.
The scene abruptly changed. Women were crowded around the woman from before, and the wail of a child
was heard.
Ayla.
Anya's mother drew in a sharp breath.
Echoes of a language neither woman could comprehend echoed around them, faintly. If Ayla could have,
she would have knit her brows. The echoes of this language she felt she should understand, but she no
longer could. She had forgotten her birth language after she became fluent in the Clan's.
Again the scene shifted, to a dreadful shaking of the Earth. The woman from before was desperately trying
to reach for her five-year-old daughter, crying out in the same unintelligible language. The woman fell into
a chasm the earth had opened, and slowly sank into a sea of water and mud that had risen up from the
bowels of the earth.
"Mother!" the child screamed. "Motherrrrrrr!!!"
Beside Anya, Ayla mentally cried out, her mental scream echoing the little girl's. Abruptly, the mists in her
mind parted on this memory, and at last, it was crystal-clear in her mind. Her mother sinking beneath the
earth, screaming for her to run, but she had refused. She had screamed and cried, begging her mother to
come back, but the woman could not pay her heed. her blonde head slid beneath the surface of the
muddy water in the chasm, and her face, almost exactly like Ayla's own, was the last the terrified child
ever saw of her mother. She was alone.
"Mother! Motherrrrrrrr!!!"
The memory of that violent earthquake seared itself permanently into Ayla's mind, giving her a connection
to her past she had never before seen clearly. She still could not recall her past, or her real language, but
*this* memory.....she had at last remembered, and she knew she would never again forget it.
Anya soothed her mother as best as she could, trying to ease her mother's mental sobs. How traumatic!
No wonder the child her mother had been had eventually blocked all this out of her mind. Traumatic
amnesia!
Ayla screamed again.
For the scene had shifted. A giant cave lion was pawing madly into a narrow crack in a cliff wall, trying to
get at something. Anya knew this scene was something straight out of her mother's nightmares, of a
gigantic claw reaching in and searing her leg with four giant gashes. A terrified cry of pain did indeed echo
from the crack in the cliff wall, and after the cave lion sauntered away, the naked, scared child from
within limped painfully out.
Various scenes followed, Iza finding Ayla and nursing her back to health, her acceptance by the Clan, how
she gradually grew up. Ayla's secrecy with the sling, how she perfected her skills in secret, her first Curse,
the rapes by Broud and the birth of Ayla's son Durc--all if it flashed by in an instant, but no less
comprehendable to those who were watching it.
Ayla left the Clan and lived alone in a valley of horses for three years, then she rescued Jondalar, and they
fell in love. They wintered with the Mamutoi, who accepted Ayla as their own.
Anya felt her own mother's pain that winter as she was practically forced to choose between Jondalar and
Ranec. Anya got a good look at the woman her mother had almost mated; he seemed like a good enough
sort, and he did have that exotic dark skin. He was handsome and had sincerely loved Ayla, and had been
heartbroken to lose her.
Ayla and Jondalar traveled gradually westward over the nest year, meeting many strange people and
having exotic adventures along the way. Just before they reached the land of the Zelandonii, Ayla became
pregnant for the second time.
Anya saw bits and pieces of her own past surge by her at incredible speeds, and the feelings she got as
she rapidly approached the present. The incident with Ursus, when the Cave Bear first marked her, flashed
by. She was accepted into the ranks of Those Who served even before she became a woman. Her body
altered and changed shape somewhat early, and she had her First Rites that summer--enough to send her
body into flaring spasms of Pleasure, but also left her echoing with questions of "why" that did not induce
her to share Pleasures very often, except as the occasional tribute to the Mother.
Until she had met Echozar.
In an instant, they had reached the present, and Anya felt an incredible wave of pain overpower her, so
potent that she was only vaguely aware of a possible future time in which people rode in the sky in great
big birds and turned on each other in violent disagreements.
It was all beyond her comprehension. She was being given glimpses of a possible future she would never
understand in this lifetime.
Abruptly, the images vanished.
She felt a violent sense of tearing. Not of herself, but of Ayla and Zelandoni--she was being seperated
from them! She heard their mental cries echoing inside her mind for a bare instant before another violent
force tore her links to them asunder, and in a flash, they were gone.
A fierce wind whipped around her, overwhelming her with a sense of terror as blackness rushed in. Only
one presence remained; it was Goov. Instead of being ripped away, he approached her and linked to her
with all his might. She sensed him mentally crying out with great anguish; as if he was being pulled into a
place a Clan man was never meant to go--a place of great blackness; a kind of place not even Creb could
enter.
But this blackness swirled in with an astonishing force, and before they could fight it, it claimed their
senses, submerging them both in total darkness.
****
"No! Not Anya! Oh, Doni! Please don't take her! Not now! Please!" Even as Zelandoni and Ayla were
beginning to rouse, drawn to awareness by their mate's frantic callings, To Echozar's total horror, Anya
remained limp, unresponding, and as cold as a corpse. She did not respond to his frantic pleas to come
back, in fact; her color drained even more and she became a deadly gray shade. It did not take a Medicine
Woman to tell Echozar that death was hovering over her, ready to claim her spirit.
As he frantically shook her, calling for her with all the love his soul could muster, Echozar did not care
about the tears falling freely down his face. Nearby, baby Joplaya screamed and screamed, refusing to be
soothed by an anxious Marthona. As Anya slipped further into oblivion, the child's terrified screams grew all
the louder.
****
"NO! Anya! She's trapped there!" Jondalar could barely hold down Ayla, weak as she was. She had started
to cry out for her daughter as soon as she regained awareness. "No! Not my baby! She's in there,
Jondalar! Lost in that void that I was so terrified of! We have to get her back!"
"We can't do anything else, Ayla," he said over a low sob, hugging her hard and rocking her cold, shivering
body back and forth. "She is in Doni's hands, now. Either she will die or she will not, Doni must decide
that."
"B-but Goov! He was with us, also! He stayed with her when that--that force seperated us! Someone has
to go find Goov! He might be trapped there with her!"
Finally, it was this revalation that had both Clan and Others men scurrying to action. Within minutes, they
had found Goov's body, as cold and corpselike as Anya's was. It was almost doubtful they were alive, or
would be alive much longer.
****
*We have got to go back!* Anya sent desperately. *This was one of my mother's worst fears--being
trapped here! Now--now we can never leave.*
*That is unknown, Anya. Your mother was always able to leave before, I sensed it. And you did last time.
I think we were brought here for a purpose, not just to be trapped here for eternity. Otherwise Echozar's
love would have called you back, I know it. Your bond is too powerful.*
*Do you really think so, Goov?*
*Nothing is for certain. But nothing is impossible, either, I am beginning to realize.*
A rainbow of colors suddenly filled Anya's vision, and she knew Goov saw it as well. Slowly, the colors took
on shape, and she came back to a vague awareness--she sensed that these were the threads of the
destiny of the Others, and the seperate thread was the destiny of the Clan. A vague sense of deja vu
overcame here--as if she had seen this before, in a fashion.
*I did*, she suddenly realized, the abrupt memories flashing before her consciousness. *Last summer! But
why now? Why here?*
Goov sounded almost scared, his unease rippled through Anya with a startling clarity. *I do not belong
here,* he sent. *I sense this clearly. I am a Clan man, this place is not for the Clan--but why? And why,
then, was I pulled here with you?*
*I don't know!* she mentally wailed. *This, I believe, was even beyond the place Momma told me she
went to, but Creb never could go. He could control a place that was always unchanging. But beyond,
where change took place....he couldn't do it. For the Clan is unchanging. It does not explain why you are
here.*
*Perhaps the spirits directed us both here for a special purpose,* Goov mused, trying to keep calm.
Because the Clan was so intolerant of change, and this place was so different, it was difficult to keep fear
at bay. *Perhaps they wish to relate something.*
*I do not know, but--look!* Anya pointed towards the threads of destiny they were traveling. *This is a
place of future times that could happen. Look at the thread of the Clan!*
Goov stopped abruptly, and wisely. For the thread both instinctively knew belonging to the Clan had also,
just suddenly, narrowed dangerously, then seemed to stop altogether.
Anya looked at Goov, a horrified new awareness beginning to dawn upon her. *I saw this last summer,*
she thought desperately. *I did not understand it then. But here....it's starting to make sense. It can't be
true! The Clan---*
*Is in danger of dying out,* he finished somberly, as if resigning himself to something from long ago. *So
that is what Creb meant when he told me that the Clan could be doomed one day. I did not believe him.
But he had seen something the rest of us did not. And now....your kind will go on, and ours...we will be no
more.*
*It cannot be true!* she fought for control. *The Clan and the Others have so much to learn from each
other! Your kind were here first, you know the Most Ancient Ways. We can adapt and bring new things to
being that the Clan never could. We are both human and endlessly diverse at once. There is so much we
both need to learn!*
*That is part of the problem, Anya,* Goov intoned sadly. *The Clan's ability to change only with great
difficulty is to be our downfall. The world is changing, and we do not. Too fast for us to adapt. The
Memories forbid such change.*
*The memories came about because of change!* she informed him. *This I am coming to understand.
*One of our ancestors had to invent the uses for fire! Then it became the Clan way to build fire and carry
it, cook with it, keep warm with it! Someone had to get the idea to use the sharp edge of a stone as a
tool! Now tools are also the Clan Way! There is not as much hair on our bodies as many animals--someone
had to get the idea to wrap a fur around themselves to keep warm. As a result, no Clan member goes cold
in winter. But how....* she paused, trying to formulate the mental words. *How, then, did the direction go
that all memories had to be unchanging? What went different than those of the Others, that decreed that
the rest of the Clan cling unswerving to an unchanging way of life?*
*That is dangerous Spirit territory, Anya,* Goov felt chills of fear at how boldly she was proclaiming the
things she was. *Not even a Mog-Ur dares to question the spirits in such a fashion. Do not doom us
further with your bold statements!*
*I believe that the young woman has a very valid point,* intoned a strange, deep mental voice. *The
spirits would not have brought you here if it were not to have you face such deep questions, or fears.*
Anya felt herself reverberate with astonishment as she felt a presence beside them quite suddenly, a
presence she had felt only once before, in a dream she had had over a year ago.
A dream she had never forgotten.
Out of the mists surrounding them and the pathways of destiny came, boldly walking, a sturdy figure. To
Goov, he looked vaguely familiar, but it was impossible that he could be the crippled man that had been his
mentor so long ago!
Anya, though, had no reservations. *Creb! Is that you? How are you here?*
*You know him?* Goov was astonished.
*He came to me once in a dream. First as the crippled Holy Man my mother knew, and had described to
me,* Anya excitedly recanted. *Then he became the man he would have been without his physical
hinderances. This is Creb!*
*Creb....* Goov echoed faintly. *Creb, the great Mog-Ur One-Eye, my mentor. I never thought to see you
until I passed from the world I know. Have we died, then, that we see you here?*
Creb's liquid-brown Clan eyes smiled, though the rest of his face remained stotic. *No, you are not dead
yet. However, you will not be allowed to remain here much longer. If you do, your spirits will be forever
seperated from your bodies. No, I am here to give you a very important message, a message that must
remain among a very few people when you return to your world.*
*Oh, Creb....what can it be?* Anya wondered. *Do you want us to keep it a secret that the Clan is
doomed?*
*If you were to spread that around, it would surely create panic,* mused the Mog-Ur. *Anya, you said
yourself you saw this happen last year, in your vision then, but did not understand why.*
Anya trembled. *I did. The reason then eluded me. But now....* Wordlessly she pointed to where the
Clan's line had gone gradually thinner, then stopped altogether.
*Then, child, there is a part of it that you must have forgotten, for it did not end there.* Creb pointed to
the thin line that was to be the future of the Clan. *Look.*
The line began to glow, and suddenly, a very thin shred of the line reappeared. Rapidly, it snaked towards
the stronger destiny thread of the Others, and wound itself tightly around it. Anya looked down the
futuristic road the thread entailed, and saw the two threads twining so tightly that, at last, they became
a blur. Something flashed in her consciousness, and she gasped.
*I remember!* she cried. *I remember this now! Creb, is there a chance for the Clan, then? They need not
be doomed, after all?*
*There is always hope, Anya,* he assured her. *What you see here is one possible future of endless ones.
Goov was right; the world is changing. It is possible that the Clan will be in danger. But through people like
you, your daughter, Echozar, and Durc, among others, the Clan can survive.*
*How, Creb?* Anya wondered, fascinated.
Creb suddenly looked grave. *That is all I may tell you. The Clan and the Others will stand the best
chance of survival if they work together. I only brought you here to show you that there was hope. The
full reasons how will not be revealed as yet. But Anya, your mother started a legacy when she came to
live with the Clan. I love her like the daughter of my hearth I never had. You are the grandchild of my
hearth; I love you the same. The spirits saw fit to grace Ayla with powerful protection and magic; the
Cave Bear saw fit to claim you as his own. Your work is not quite done, and you will have the chance, if
the spirits allow it, to pass it on to others. That is all I may say, but Goov,* Creb glanced knowingly at his
former Acolyte, *Knows more already. You will someday understand more of the truth.*
*I must hurry,* he continued. *The longer you remain here, the greater the danger is for you--especially
you, Goov, since you are still alive and a man of the Clan. This is a place you should never have come, but
the spirits decreed that this one time you be allowed in here. Goov, Anya was right in questioning the
memories and the spirits like she did. The Memories were formed based upon discovery and change. Within
the memories, and yet the concept of change, you may find an easier road for the Clan to travel in the
long run, even if change comes at such a painful price to the Clan.*
It was plain that not even Goov quite understood Creb's cryptic message.
*You both will understand in time, if you give the answer a chance to come to you,* Creb looked around
as a dreadful darkness began to descend upon them. He suddenly looked very serious. *You both must
leave here, now. Goov, hang on tightly to Anya or you will never get out of here alive. Anya, your loved
ones are calling for you to return. Hang on tight--Echozar's overwpowering love for you can guide you
back. Whatever you do, don't let go as you follow his calls home, or you will be lost. Good luck, and
farewell.*
Fog and darkness descended upon Goov and Anya. The darkening mists enveloped everything in sight,
obscuring the paths of destiny and Creb. Anya craned to catch one last glimpse of this beloved Mog-Ur,
but her last sight of him was a mask of fear as he gestured frantically for her to leave.
The barriers closed in upon them, pressing inwards as it sought to trap them and keep them from
returning. Goov held on tight, and Anya understood he was as lost as she, and dependednt soley on her to
guide them out.
Last time, it had been Zelandoni that had pushed her spirit back to the land of the living, but now Anya
floundered, at a loss for which direction to go.
*You must fight, Anya, or we are doomed,* Goov assured her. *Creb said your loved ones were calling for
you. Look for them!*
The suffocating darkness closed in entirely on them as she floundered further towards the edge of the
abyss. *I will try, Goov. I've never been here without someone to guide me!*
*Echozar....Echozar.....* She cast about, searching for anything, someone, or something, to give her a
hold in this madness. Her senses were dimming; she was losing awareness.
*I have failed. Oh, Echozar!* Anya teetered on the edge of endless darkness.
A baby's cry echoed in the infinty.
Anya gasped, pausing, wavering on the brink. *Goov...?*
*Sh, Anya. Listen.*
The infant's cry echoed again through the endless darkness; a lifeline!
Anya's heart leaped in recognition. *It is my baby! Joplaya! She's crying for me! I must go to her!*
A thin rainbow of color snaked through the darkness, a rainbow of dark colors that spoke of heartache and
dispair.
With these colors, she could hear lonely, desolate thoughts. *Return to me, Anya, my love. Do not leave
me alone again. Our baby needs you. *I* need you. Anya, my love....*
Echozar!
An overwhelming sense of pain surged through Anya's heart even as she reached desperately for the
voice. Inside, she started to cry even as she made her way towards the rainbow, Goov's mental link
holding tightly to her.
*Anya, my love, do not give up on me! Come back to us! We need you....*
The link surged through even more strongly, a last determined push of hope. Anya linked onto the force of
the rainbow with all her might, at last having a link out of this hellish madness and back to the ones she
loved.
*Echozar....I am coming home.*
*Anya....my love....*
****
*Mmm....*
Echozar started, from where he had been ferverenly calling to Anya and praying to Doni for help, certain
he had been hearing things. He sat up and peered at Anya in the firelight, from where he had vowed to
stay with Anya until she either woke up or passed on.
"...Mmm..." came the faint moan again.
Shocked, he looked her over. She had no color in her face at all, but to his utter astonishment, the gray
hues of death were gone from her skin. His heart leapt in his chest when he saw her hand twich just
slightly.
"....Anya?" he dared to whisper, reaching for her icy hands. "Anya? Can you hear me? Anya?"
She shuddered and drew in a deep breath, moaning faintly and clutching his hand hard, as if reaching for
something.
"Anya....come on, Anya, you can do it....you can make it...." he called desperately, willing her back now.
"....mmmm...E...Echo....zar...?" he saw her gasp breathlessly, and her hand jerked in his. "Echozar?"
"Anya...." he dared to breathe. "Anya!"
He saw her eyes slowly blink open, the large violet-blue orbs trying to focus on him. "Echozar? Is...that
you? Am I....here? With you?"
The image of her eyes blurred as tears filled his own and ran unheeded down his face. "Yes, Anya, it is I,"
he said over a ragged sob, gathering her cold body against him, determined to never let her go. "Anya, you
were spared to me. Oh, Anya!"
She pressed hard against him, so grateful to feel his strong arms closing about her she did not care where
she was. "Echozar....I tried so hard to come back to you.....or our little girl."
"I prayed to Doni for her to spare you," he breathed softly, rocking her and warming her icy body with his.
Gradually, her chattering teeth slowed. "She listened to my pleas, Anya. You are here, and alive."
"...Alive...." she echoed softly, clinging to him and not wanting to let go. "Alive. I could not leave you. You
called me back.....it was your love that guided me back, out of the endless darkness that was trying to
trap my spirit. But your love was too strong, it penetrated the darkness and guided me home. I owe you
my life."
"You *are* my life, Anya," he said raggedly. "You and Joplaya are my reason for living. I was not going to
lose you to that horrid abyss. If you died, I would have been right behind."
Even as he tilted up her face to press his lips against her chilled ones, Anya did not doubt his words. But it
slid from her mind as the pressure of his mouth on hers sent the necessary fire racing through the course
of her body, warming her with a flood of tingling sensation.
Weak as she was, she began to respond with her own natural ardor, kissing him back hard until, guiltily, he
released her.
"You seem woken up," he teased gently. "I had better go get your mother and Jondalar. They have been
so frantic when you did not wake up with them.....and Goov was discovered in much the same state."
"Goov is all right, trust me," she breathed, a hint of color coming back into her pallid face. "He returned
with me. Bring Joplaya, first and foremost, will you? I want my daughter back."
****
"Anya? Oh, *Anya*!" sobbed Ayla as soon as Jondalar released her weak body from his grip. Immediately
Ayla slid to the floor, wrapping her arms around her daughter and Joplaya, whom Anya had been holding
close to her heart.
Jondalar was not far behind.
"What *happened* to you?" cried Ayla through her tears, refusing to let go of her oldest daughter. "I
thought you were permanently lost to the void. You and Goov. What happened?"
"I am *okay*, Momma," Anya emphasized gently. "Don't disturb Joplaya--she'll start crying again."
Ayla reluctantly let go, but she gave a weak smile. "That is the first time that baby has been quite since
we went on the journey," she said softly. "She cried and screamed endlessly....until now. She knew that
you were in danger."
"I was," Anya admitted. "But Mother...." she lowered her voice. "I may only tell what happened to Goov
and I to a select group of people. I will only tell you, Jondalar, Echozar, and Zelandoni. I will tell Joplaya
when she is old enough. Goov, I think, only plans to tell Broud, Brun, and his Acolyte what we both saw. I
will not tell you here, either--the story is for another time."
Ayla nodded in understanding.
****
It was some hours before Anya felt strong enough to get on her feet again and be guided back to her
Hearth from the tent where she had been moved from her collapse. The journey she had made had nearly
cost her her life, and the effects on her body would be a few days in healing.
As soon as Echozar lowered her onto their sleeping platform, Jerika followed in close behind, the now-quiet
Joplaya in her arms. Gently, she turned the infant over to Anya. Immediately upon realizing that she was in
her mother's arms, Joplaya's little face screwed up, preparing to let loose a howl of hunger.
"I tried to feed her myself, Anya," said Jerika apologetically. "But she did not stop screaming and crying
until you awoke and she was taken to you. I hope you can feed her now."
"I *have* to feed her," Anya said seriously, rubbing her sore chest. "I am very sore, and I don't want my
milk to dry up. I not only feed Joplaya, but I've fed the twins more than once, too--Momma's having a
hard time producing enough milk for both twins, and she often has her hands full. I have enough milk for six
infants. All traces of the root should be gone from my system by now, anyways."
Anya shrugged as she loosened one of the flaps on the front of her tunic so Joplaya could latch on. She
sighed and closed her eyes, as if contemplating something--at least, that is what it appeared to Jerika.
"What are you thinking about, Anya?"
"Hm?" Anya's eyes fluttered open. "Oh, a lot of things, I guess. My mind is sort of confused by the things I
saw on my spirit journey. Much of it I doubt I was even meant to understand. But....." Anya trailed off, her
eyes closing again.
Jerika got the message, even though Anya had not been consciously broadcasting it. "Goodnight, Anya.
Get some rest; you need it."
"Goodnight, Jerika."
****
Peaceful quiet settled in on the Zelandonii camps and in the Ninth Cave. Anya remained dimly awake,
occassionally turning the baby so she would nurse from both breasts and relieve the painful pressure. She
was aware when Echozar returned in the quiet of the night, silently lifting Joplaya from her arms and
cradling her himself, rubbing her tiny back until the milk had settled comfortably in her stomach. The baby's
large eyes closed, and she fell asleep in her father's arms, her tiny head cradled in the crook of his neck,
her warm breath making Echozar feel very much alive.
Anya joined him, standing at his side as he gently placed the precious little bundle in the cradle and tucked
her in firmly, carefully. In the dim glow of the fire, they stood there, a complete family, and the stars
swung low over the land of the Zelandonii.
End of Part 6