Song Playing
I was born in, Golden Gate Village IL. On May 2
I was taken to my Mom's sister's and left there
I was told that my Mom siad she would come back
My oldest cousin used to sing to me and tell me
She was not too old maybe 14 or 15? I also knew "It hurts me
It wasn't too long before a lady started coming
I didnt want to leave my aunt and uncle or my
I remember the day that I sat in the judge's
I had a room of my own and toys, and new clothes!
Not long after my adoption was final all
I came home from school one day and their
Five years passed and my parents separated
We would spend time talking and he was always
Dad taught me so much like not to judge others
Someone was always stopping by just to sit
I missed Dad and my heart was broken...
It would be many years later that I would find
Mother and I moved to Oklahoma and stayed with
San Pedro was a beautiful place to live, we were
I loved the beach and would walk down to the
I loved to go out just a little way and sit
With pen in hand, I would sit for hours writing
How I wished Dad was here at the beach with me! Years later I would come to realize that it was parent.
In the Summer of 1959 and I was 15 years old
Grandma was a wonderful lady and I loved her very
Grandma would let me have company over and she
I had someone to tell me why I was feeling so
Many a night she would fall asleep reading her
Mother agreed!
I think she was happy about that as I was...
I had a wonderful time that school year. But Mother was coming to pick me
At 16, I made a very bad decision!
I ran away from my Grandmother's and from then
In life each of us choose paths that take us
Shirley Jean Busby
"What Is Your Name Child?"
† Amazing Grace †
A picture of me, at seven
taken in 1951 a few days
after I was adopted
1944. I guess my parents had divorced and maybe
Mom remarried. I remember a little boy, but not
his name. I think he was two or three years old
when we were separated.
when I was 4 or 5 years old. And never saw my Mom
again. Later in life I learned that my last name
was, Tubbs. Maybe someday God will grant me the
one prayer I have prayed for many years.
Who am I and where is my family?
for me in two weeks, she never did...
and I was very happy being with my Aunt and
Uncle and my cousins were the best! I can't
remember their names but the few memories I do
have are special to me. Maybe Darlene and Jimmy?
Rr maybe my brother's name? I really don't know.
bedtime stories. I remember her holding my hand
until I would go to sleep. There were times when
I would wake up and find her sitting next to my
bed reading her book. She was the one that taught
me the children's prayer, "Now I lay me down to
sleep...I think.
she and her brother loved me. Once when her
brother and I were playing outside he shot me in
the back with a toy bow and arrow! I cried, but
he cried more than I did and when his Mom asked
him why he was crying he said...
to see Shirley crying." When it was time for me
to start school my aunt and uncle placed me out
for adoption because they couldn't afford to
send me to school
by my Aunt's house to visit me. She made a few
weekly visits, then one day she asked me if I
wanted to spend the weekend with her and her
husband. After a few more weekends visits the
lady and her husband asked me if I wanted to
live with them and be their little girl.
cousins, but I was told they could come visit
and I would be able to go see them anytime I
wanted to. I was okay with that arrangement,
as long as I could still go see them then it
was okay and my Aunt agreed.
office, and he asked me, "What is your name
child?" I told him my name was Shirley Jean and
He leaned forward in his chair, got up and took
a seat beside me. "Would you like to be this
couples little girl? and I said, "Yes, sir!"
Not knowing that what I said was to change my
life forever! What child doesn't want her own
parents? Is that a question any adult should ask
a child? Never, because most children see and
understand is what they see and feel at the
time.
I had mostly worn hand-me-downs and dresses made
out of flour sacks. Many of you may not know
this but years ago, flour came in flowered
cotton sacks, and most of my clothes were
made out of those sacks. It was nothing to
be ashame of but seated there in the judge's
chamber in my little play suit at the top of
this page, in my own little store bought
blue and pink sandals, I felt like a princess!
communication was cut off between my aunt,
uncle, and cousins. Even their pictures were
thrown away!
pictures were gone! When I asked what happened
to their pictures I was told I didn't need them
any longer.
~I remember crying myself to
sleep many nights. At that very moment I
would have traded all the pretty little
dresses and new shoes for those flour
sacks dresses just to run back to my
Aunt's home and back to my cousins!
and later divorced In 1956 I was 12 years
old, and home life was not good. My adopted
Mother and I could never talk with each other
and we were never close. My adopted Dad and I
had been so close, I missed him so much!
letting me help him in the garden, or whatever
it was he would be doing. He was a kind, and
loving Daddy. And today I can say that he is
the one that I learned compassion, kindness
and love from.
by what they wore or how they looked, but to
see past the outside and to see the heart of
a person. He was always bringing company home
with him, and I would hear Mother say, "Tom,
who is this person?" Or, "Where did you meet
them?" Dad would say he had met them at work
it was someone who needed a lift.
outside and have coffee or iced tea with Dad.
People were drawn to him and he loved talking
with everyone. He always made you feel that you
were the most important person in his world!
I don't think he ever met a stranger
him living in Denver CO. and we were reunited.
I thank God each day for allowing us to spend
a few months together again before he died.
her parents while she finished getting her
Master's Degree in Math. in Norman, Oklahoma.
From there we moved to San Pedro CA because
the pay scale for teachers were higher.
only 2 blocks from Cabrillo beach, we could see
it from our third floor apartment that had a big
picture window all along the livingroom and into
diningroom. The view was awesome!
ocean every chance I got. I would go out on the
big rocks that lead to the lighthouse. I couldn't
go out too far because the waves would come
crashing against the huge boulders and the waves
were over my head. The large boulders were very
sharp and dangerous.
there watching the sea gulls, and listening
to the waves breaking over the large rocks,
and feeling the mist of the salt water on my
face. I loved the fog horn as it would signal
the passing ships. Some of the other kids said
that the sound of it made them lonely, but not
me, I found it comforting.
poems that I would send to my Grandma. Sometimes
I would write in my journal about all my hopes
and dreams. On other days, I just sat there,
and wondered why I was even here and if this
was all there was. sometimes all I could do was
cry. It was my, 'special place' where I could go
to sort out whatever was in my heart and where
I learned that peace comes from within our own
hearts.
I missed him so much...what joy we would have had
there swimming and playing the jukebox at the
hamburger stand and feeding the sand pipers and
sea gulls! Now there was no one to share the
rejection I felt or any of my feelings and
thoughts. I felt so alone and it was very hard.
not easy for my Mother either, but when you are
12, you don't understand love, marriage, or the
hardship and the lonliness of being a single
and Mother and I went to visit my Grandma in Oklahoma. I loved it there.
much. We talked my Mother into letting me spend
the Summer and Mother returned to CA. I was one
happy teenager!
would fix us her special Sugar Cookies...she
called them, Tea Cakes and they were GOOD!!
There wasn't that much to do in the little
country town, but it was heaven to me! There
were so many things I loved about Grandma,
but the main thing was she talked with me! Not
to me....and she listened to what I had to say.
alone, and that it would be alright then she
would hug me and say, "Don't worry hon, it will
all be okay" Grandma was love in action!
Bible. Even today that memory always gives me
a peaceful feeling, seeing her sleeping with the
Bible on her lap. Now at 62 years old I too wake
up with my Bible. For the first time since I
lived with my Aunt and Uncle I was truly happy
again. It was while living with my Grandmother
that I asked Jesus into my life. Grandma talked
to my Mother and asked if I could stay there
and go to school and much to our surprise...
time flew and the school year was almost over
and I paniced!
up and take me back to CA. and that was the last
place I wanted to be!
on I made one bad choice after another and
learned where they lead to...DESTRUCTION!
on a journey. We soon learn not all paths
lead us home or safety.
Aug 21 2000
