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The Difference Is
Writing As Escape or As Encounter
If I write poems about leafy bowery woods- where I frolic
with furry friends, perhaps meet lovers dark and dangerous
when my own life is problematic, mundane and dissatisfying-
if this is the bulk of what I write- I am an escape
artist
living a life of avoidance through poetry. Poetry has become
my drug of choice, and no doubt detrimental to facing very
real conflicts in the actual space in which I live. Such poetry
rings with the same artificiality and shrillness as someone
laughing edgily when in pain because the ear knows.
I write to work through conflict. I write to get my arms
around the thornier aspects of being alive: what I witness or
read about, or the things that frighten, mystify or delight
me. I am writing out my life at all times- or I am putting on the
skin of others whose ordeals and life experiences have so seared
my psyche I have no other way to deal with it than to enter it
with them. My poetry is my Beatrice who leads me into many
dark places because I'm a person who cannot process a lot of
what I see and hear until I've tasted it for myself. I climb
into it and look around, and I do that by writing.
And what about the proposition that the actual writing experience
takes the poet out of their relationships, out of spending time with
family and friends. My answer is: only a person living authentically
in the full spectrum of his senses and cognizance can give in any
real way to those around him whom he loves. Being present to
others is more than being there physically.
The deeper I go into writing and the older I get, the more fully
awake I am to all and everything around
me...including those I
claim to love and care for; anyone who would stifle that is
someone with whom I wouldn't want to have a personal
relationship. Those who love us, love us for who we are
and if the largest portion of that is a writer who depth
charges his own emotions in order to walk upright and
engaged
in the world, they will understand times away inside the
head
that are so much more than simple introspection. They're
filters that often serve as depressurization chambers so that
life itself does not give him a bad case of the Bends.
In the case of family, we are looking at a far more complicated
set of underpinnings, in which so many of us are playing roles
we've been assigned and outgrown long ago, though few would
recognize it. With family, my advice to all is to live your life- writing takes time. Let them deal with it.
So my answer to the original
question posed is: yes and no.
If writing is a hobby, then it's probably an escape, and a
mighty lofty way to hitch a ride out of this world and into
another one of your own making. Hobbies are the things we run
away into in order to confound the sensibilites from feeling
the full psi pressure of life itself. These are things like knitting
and gardening and jigsaw puzzles- but if a life without
writing is simply an impossibility, it's one of your
essential human tools and as such, a necessity
like air and water. Give it full reign.
It's the very best part of you.
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