Late nights
In drug-endused fits of bliss
Bliss?
Was it bliss?
No
It was an illusion created by late hours
And sleepless nights
It was con-art that entrapped me
The con artist, so dear to my heart..?
Loneliness doesn't begin to describe
The state that he had found me in
And with a knowing grin
He wrapped me in a false sense of security
Lies were told and bribes were made
If I didn't hang up, he wouldn't kill himself
And so he would muddle what he wanted
As I drifted into a soft sleep
My thoughts stopped
My mind ceased working
And he took advantage of it
He asked me questions
Made me promise things
And the next morning I had no recollection
He would give me a small reminder the next day
You promised..
You can't break a promise..
I don't know what that will do to me
I might get manic again
And you don't want that do you?
You don't want me to kill myself?
I know you do.
I'm going to
Its your fault
I would plead, beg, cry
But confused as to why
Time goes by and the house still holds shadows
At the mention of his name I curl into a ball
I want to hide myself away from the past
I want to find somewhere where it can't hurt me anymore
But you can't hide forever
You can't avoid the shadows lurking
Suddenly I found myself face to face
With all the truths that I had put away..
locked away for so long
And I fight with them still
well..
at least I'm fighting
