I couldn’t help but wonder just how much JC and Alex had been through together. I had only fallen asleep for a few hours. Before falling asleep, I had silently watched as JC put Alex in her sleeping bag and as I woke up, I watched him kiss away the tears that were streaming down her face when she was sleeping. I was pretty sure he hadn’t slept all night. He had watched over my friend like her guardian angel.
Being back with everyone felt awkward. I had never really been friends with many guys, but they all had been. Elis always had the guys hanging around her because of her tomboyish nature, Mel’s knowledge always attracted the wrong type of guy, but they were, nonetheless, still guys, and Roxie had attracted them with her flamboyant attitude. Alex had also had it easy. Not only, had she adopted the title of “The Tease,” but she had an older brother. Granted, he had never liked her flirting with his friends, but that never stopped her and it wasn’t expected to. Star and I had been the “outcasts.” Sure, we had our share of male friends, but none of the friendships would have turned into anything more.
Now, Elis had Joey, Roxie had Lance, Mel had Justin, Alex and JC had each other, and even Star had Chris. I, like always, was stuck alone.
What about Brian? the little voice in the back of my head teased. I shook my head furiously, trying to knock the thought out.
“He’s engaged,” I muttered to myself. “there is no possible way for us to be together. He probably wouldn’t even like me like that if Leighanne weren’t around.”
“Ugh, don’t even “Wow, he’s finally asleep,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper so I didn’t wake the others.
“Did he stay up all night?” Alex asked, concerned. I nodded.
“He watched you sleep.” She looked down at her fiancé, who still had one hand interlaced with hers, his eyes closed lightly. Smiling, she kissed his forehead and squeezed his hand. “He really loves ya, y’know.” Alex smiled, blushing slightly. Her smile slowly faded.
“Lexi.” Even though she had just woken up, Elis’s tone was scolding and I knew exactly why. The red-head crawled out of Joey’s embrace, over Mel, and leaned against the tv unit. “You’re allowed to be happy.” Alex just blinked a few times and looked down at hers and JC’s interlaced fingers. “Girl, don’t make me hurt you . . .”
“El . . it . . . it just doesn’t feel right,” Alex said. Squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, she opened them, focusing them on Elis as if pleading with her to understand. “I don’t feel like I’m allowed to be happy. He was going through so much pain-“
“Don’t even finish that sentence,” Elis growled. Her voice rose as she spoke. “You know damn well-“
“Ssh!” I scolded, motioning to the sleeping people around us. Rolling her eyes, Elis continued, her voice hushed.
“You know damn well that your father would want you to be happy. If you ever think otherwise, then you’re rejecting everything he’s ever taught you.”
“But-“ Alex began.
“No ‘buts’,” Elis hissed. “You know better than anyone else that your dad threw a fit every time you sat there and pitied yourself like you’re doing now.” I snapped my head around to glare at her.
“Elis!” I was appalled that she would even say such a thing, especially now! “How could you even-” I cut off as I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I watched silently as Alex gave JC’s finger’s one last squeeze before releasing them and pushing herself up into s standing position. She wavered slightly, but regained her balance before either of us got a chance to get up and steady her.
“Where are you going?” I asked, concerned. There was no answer. She didn’t even make eye contact. She just turned slowly on her feet and stepped over a few sleeping couples as she treaded out of the room.
“She needs to think,” Elis said as soon as Alex was out of earshot. “Just leave her be.”